Seasons Change But People Don't
by NellyLove
Summary: He made her want to face her fears and that scared her. She wanted to trust him, wanted to love him, but she kept herself well guarded. She felt invincible when he was around and she forgot she's just human. She's vulnerable, she's weak, she's the same scared, scarred girl she's been all her life because people don't change, that is one thing she knows she can trust. Justin/OC/Wade
1. I'm A Stitch Away From Making It

_**Hello readers. So..yes, I am starting a new fic. The idea for this fic has plagued me since season one of NXT...and i decided not to delay it any longer and to just post it. I have a few chapters already written and plan on continuing that pattern. **_

_**So, I only own Paige Ross. Thank you Zoe for all the help, you're the bestest best friend ever :) Thank you to Raini for beta reading it!**_

_**Title & Part I title credit goes to Fall Out Boy...from the song The Take Over, the Breaks Over**_

_**Other than that...i hope you enjoy it, please leave a review and let me know. This first chapter is mainly about setting up the fic & giving it a base to build up from. It's also introducing Paige to an extent. So..yep**_

_**ENJOY!**_

_**Mahalo,**_

_**xoxoxo**_

_**Angel**_

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't**_

_**Part I: Don't Pretend You'd Ever Forget About Me**_

_**Chapter 1- I'm A Stitch Away From Making It**_

"Paige, you've been out for nearly 12 months," Vince said, motioning with his hands, trying to emphasize the gap that 12 months —one year— made in my career. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, wondering if he ever had realized the severity of my injury, or if all he really cared about at the end of the day was his money and the WWE ratings. I had always had a deep respect for the man, my boss, but at that very moment, I couldn't help but feel annoyed by his persistence of my returning to the ring. It just wasn't going to happen so soon.

Truthfully, I was still scared to step back inside of the ring.

"Vince, I broke my neck, that's not something a person can easily come back from," I relented, holding out a hand in exasperation and Vince huffed, like a child that wasn't getting his way. He was pouting, my boss —Vincent Kennedy McMahon— was pouting because I wouldn't return to the ring after breaking my neck in action, during a match.

The injury wasn't scripted as well, and I knew for most of my friends that worked for the company it had scared the living daylights out of them. I was in complete and total shock after the accident. I still had nightmares about it. How I fell and landed wrong on the apron. No one had sensed my pain, and it was in the middle of a match, I couldn't just yell out "I think I broke my neck, stop the match!" It would be completely against kayfabe. That's just one of the many rules in the WWE that cannot be broken.

Don't break kayfabe. Don't act like yourself if that's not your character. If you're feuding with someone who happens to be your best friend backstage, erase all the friendly laughter and banters from your mind once you step out in front of the millions of fans. Your real life didn't exist, you were your character, you were in character. And nothing was supposed to bring you out of that, until the bell rang and you got backstage.

It was as simple as that. Until someone got seriously hurt.

In my case, no one broke kayfabe until long after the match had ended. My not getting in the ring to celebrate with the winner, who I had been valeting for, is what initially set off the worry in the referee's eyes. That's when he checked on me for real, instead of going through the motions like he was told to. And seconds later, he called for the paramedics and a stretcher was brought out.

The rest is either blurry, or completely blank for me. I just remember waking up in a hospital room and being unable to move my neck.

I was brought out of my thoughts when there was a knock on Vince's door. "Who is it?" he asked gruffly, trying not to show his displeasure with me to me. "It's me," a familiar voice said. If it had been anyone else but Stephanie, Vince would've yelled in their face for being so inconsiderate and smart, not in the good sense of the word. But it was in fact his daughter and Stephanie walked into the room seconds after his approving 'come in.'

Her smile widened when she saw me sitting across from Vince in one of his office's leather chairs. "Oh my gosh, Paige! What are you doing here?" She asked and held her arms open as I stood up and received her squeezing hug.

"Your father called me in for a meeting," I told her something that seemed quite obvious because no one stopped by to have a friendly chat with Vincent McMahon. Stephanie shot her father a look that told me she wasn't entirely happy with him inviting me here.

"I thought I told you to leave her alone until her 18 months is up," Stephanie said, arching a perfect eyebrow at her father, not even scared that she was defying him.

Vince rolled his eyes slightly at his petulant daughter, "who says I take orders from you Stephanie? She is, in the long run, my employee more so than yours," he stated, crossing his arms over his chest. Not afraid to roll her eyes, Stephanie made such a motion and glanced at me apologetically before looking back at her dad.

"I'm the one who hired her in the first place," Stephanie smirked, her tone holding nothing but factual evidence. Vince huffed, in an exasperated manner.

"This is getting us nowhere Stephanie. You know just as well as I do that without Paige performing the ratings for the Divas and their matches have gone to a low extremity," he explained and I glanced between them.

I knew the fans liked me, but did they go as far to stop watching when I wasn't around? Also, my earlier question was answered. All Vince really did care about was ratings. And probably his money too. "Add to that Melina is also out on injury leave, that's my two top Divas gone from broadcast." he put in.

With a sigh, Stephanie motioned for me to sit back down and she followed suit, glancing at me. "That is very true, but if you don't believe you're ready to come back to the ring, we will not force you," Stephanie gave her father and pointed look and he resolved to a curt nod.

I smiled slightly, "thank you, because I know I'm not ready to step back into the ring...I..." I paused, searching for the right words to use, "I'm not sure when I will be, I'm still..." afraid, no, I couldn't use that word in front of my boss and co-boss. "I'm worried, about my health and well being, not that I doubt the both of you will do everything in your power to protect me. I just don't want an accident like the previous one to ever happen again," I explained.

"That's why I would keep you out of the men's storylines, or at least, not in such heated ones," he assured and I smiled appreciatively at him.

"Thank you Vince, for the sentiment, I just am not ready to actually wrestle yet. Anything that excludes that activity, I am up for," I said and Vince tapped his chin thoughtfully.

"Stephanie and I will have to go over the upcoming storylines and feuds. We will be in touch with you in a few weeks, I promise," he stood up and reached his hand across his desk.

Stephanie and I stood as well; I took his hand and shook it firmly. "Can't wait to hear from you Vince," I said with a nod before turning and hugging Stephanie once more, exchanging goodbyes with her before I left the office and walked down the halls of WWE Headquarters back to the lobby and out to my car, glad that I had family in the area so I wouldn't have to catch a flight home so soon. A long flight wouldn't be much fun, especially when I would be flying alone. And at the moment, I wasn't in the mood to be alone at all.

I did miss my job, immensely, but I still held some...uncertainties about me returning to my field of work. I was painfully aware of what could happen to me if I chose to go back. Yet, I couldn't make myself say no to Vince, or to send him a letter of resignation.

Wrestling was my life; I had dropped out of high school to follow it as a profession. It was all I knew, I would be lost if I didn't have it in any aspect of my life.

With a sigh, I turned my keys in the ignition of my rental car and turned out of the parking lot, knowing I needed to get my priorities straight before Vince called me with my new storyline.

If only I knew then what I was getting myself in to.


	2. Keep A Calendar, So You'll Always Know

**Alright, chapter 2 is here! **

**WOW! I was so shocked by the response i received for this fic. But i'm super happy! NINE reviews for the first chapter, i hope we can keep that up! Reviews are pretty much my motivation to write the next chapter so...yeah...keep them up please! they make my day!**

**Just to clarify things, the pairing for this fic will be Justin Gabriel/OC/Wade Barret with Punk/OC implied..you'll see how that all comes up very soon. I apologize for these first few chapters being really slow but this OC-Paige- is so complicated and complex that i'm trying to introduce her in a way that doesn't just give you everything all at once..and then the facts i give are just simple with little detail. Like i said, she's complex and she's got a lot of issues. lol as you'll find out soon enough!**

**So..i'm done talking now. Disclaimer- I own nothign affiliated with the WWE...all i do own is Paige and the plot for this fic! **

**ENJOY! **

**and mahalo for all the reviews! :)**

**xooxxoo**

**Angel**

* * *

**Seasons Change But People Don't**

**Chapter 2- Keep A Calendar, This Way You'll Always Know **

I looked around my home in Knoxville, Tennessee. It was a modest place, three bedrooms, one and a half bath, all that I really needed. The walls were colored a simple mocha and various other earth tones. I had decided against making it look like my sister Jasmine had gotten a hold of it.

I laid back on the couch, enjoying the silence. But it was the same silence I had been listening to for a year.

The loneliness of it was getting to me. Finally.

Just as I was about to delve into another mental absorption of me trying to convince myself to go visit some of my long-forgotten coworkers, my cell rang. I reached over and picked it up off the table.

_Boss Man. _

"Hello, Vince." I greeted into the phone. He chuckled slightly before replying.

"Good afternoon Paige. I would like to inform you that we have figured out your storyline. I hope you don't mind flying out to our next stop, I'm on the road at the moment."

I shrugged, I had nothing better to do, right? This was a matter of me returning to work. "I wouldn't mind at all Vince, just tell me the when and where."

/

I stopped in the women's locker room momentarily, letting out a breath of relief when I found it was empty. I walked into the bathroom and used the mirror to pull my brown hair up into a professional looking bun. I checked my outfit in the mirror, the white button up blouse and dark gray skirt. With a satisfied nod I turned and walked back out of the bathroom, coming face to face with none other than Jillian.

"Oh...my god. I think I've seen a ghost." She said, her hand flying to her chest.

I rolled my eyes; my blond friend could always be so dramatic. "Nah Jilly, I'm really here."

She blinked and then broke out into a grin before pulling me in for a hug. "What are you doing here? I thought you were still on injury leave. But don't get me wrong, I'm happy to see you," she pulled back, holding me at arms length and studying me.

"I'm here for a meeting with Vince regarding my return." I explained.

"To the ring?" She arched an eyebrow.

I shook my head, "just on screen. I'm not ready for in-ring competition yet." It was a slight lie, physically I was ready to return, mentally and emotionally, I didn't know when I'd be ready.

She looked slightly disappointed, "are you staying on RAW?"

I shrugged, "I have no idea. That's why I'm going to the meeting," I pulled my phone out of my purse and checked the time, "in five minutes."

She smirked slightly before letting my shoulders go, "we are going out to eat once you're done. I'll go find Beth and Milena. It sucks that Mel is out for injury, she'd love to catch up with you."

I smiled and nodded, talking with three of my closest girlfriends sounded like a good idea. Not to mention, we had a lot to catch up on. I was surprised Jillian wasn't angrier at me. I hadn't talked to her in over two months, and even that last time was just a short phone call. I had lied and told her I was leaving for dinner out with a 'friend' when in all actuality, I was plugging in a movie and snuggling on my couch in a pair of sweats and a tank top.

I had thoroughly enjoyed my time away from the WWE. I didn't feel pressed for time, wasn't on a tight and demanding schedule. I could sit home, eat whatever I wanted and just relax. Relaxation was something you lacked on the road, as was the feeling of relief when you got to stay at home for a day. I got used to the luxury of it.

Now, I was about to be shocked back into reality.

I hugged Jillian again before leaving the women's locker room and headed in the direction she had pointed me. I stopped in front of the gray door with a label that read 'Vincent K. McMahon.' I knocked on the door and waited for the 'come in.' It followed shortly after and I turned the knob, opening the door and stepping inside his makeshift office.

"Good afternoon Vince," I said as I took a seat across from him.

He looked up with a smile, "ah, Paige, right on time."

I shrugged nonchalantly, "I try."

"Well, shall we get started?" he suggested and I just nodded. I was dying to know what kind of storyline he was going to throw me into. I just hopped it wasn't a romance angle; my last one had ended up with me suffering from a broken neck after my storyline companion botched up the scene.

"I'm sure you've heard the hype about the company's newest experiment," he said.

"Depends, the rookie/pro concept on the new NXT show or...something else?" I arched an eyebrow at him and he grinned.

"NXT," he clarified.

I nodded, "yes, I've heard."

"Good, because I'd like you to have a part in the show during it's first season. We don't know yet how the fans are going to take to it, but I feel with having you there, it may draw some more viewers in." Of course, my popularity was being used to draw ratings to their new idea.

I just nodded, the best response I could give before I asked, "what exactly would I be doing?" I knew that there were no female rookies, so I wouldn't be a pro.

"I'd like you to be a sort of...motivation for the rookies on screen."

"Motivation?"

"Yes, it's a better way to put it than 'prize.'"

"So what, they win me as their valet if they win NXT?" I asked.

Vince shook his head, "not as easy as that, and don't make the idea sound so brutish." He gave me a look and I just shut my mouth. "There will be polls cast by the pros that will rank the rookies from who they think has the most potential and 'it' factor, to who has the least."

My eyebrows furrowed, I didn't see how I was going to tie into this.

"You're place in this will depend on who is ranked number one in each poll. Whoever is ranked first, will gain you as their valet and manager until the next poll is cast. Then, if the number one spot changes face, you will change to the new leader on the board and valet for him."

I nodded slowly, it actually didn't sound that bad. It was a lot better than I thought. "So I'd only be in this storyline till the end of NXT?"

"I'm hoping by then you'll be ready to step back into the ring," he said, giving me a pointed look.

I flashed him my winning smile, "maybe I will." It was a lie. I didn't plan on getting into the ring until my 18 months was up.

"You just need to promise me one thing Paige."

I looked up at him, waiting for him to continue.

"Promise me you'll start training again. I don't want there to be any sign of ring rust when you do re-debut. Got it?"

I nodded hastily, cursing him mentally. "I promise Vince. You have my word; I'll start sparring with some of the Divas and guys."

"Try working with the rookies a bit. I'm sure they'll learn a lot from you and vice versa."

I nodded, "I'm sure that will be the case."

"Great, now I'd like you to go meet with the Pros. Their meeting with Stephanie and Creative should be starting any minute. They're just down the hall."

With that he dismissed me and I left the room, adjusting my purse strap on my shoulder.

I sighed and turned down the hall, heading toward the conference room where the pros and Creative were meeting. I paused in front of the door before I reached down and opened it, walking inside.

A few of the writer's looked up and then looked away, bored. They didn't recognize me.

I did look slightly different than the last time I was in a WWE arena. My hair had been a lot longer and had been a darker brown. Now my hair was its natural color, a lighter brown and it was considerably shorter, but still past my shoulders.

Two of the pros, Miz and R-Truth, glanced up but looked away; probably thinking I was another writer.

"Paige?" But one of the pros did recognize me. Of course he did.

I didn't look at him, just strode forward and sat in an empty chair by the head of the table, no doubt where Stephanie would be sitting in mere moments.

"Hey Rossy, what are you doing here?" A familiar voice said as the person sitting next to me turned to face me.

"That's what I would like to know," another voice said and I closed my eyes.

I turned to face the first speaker, "I work here, remember, Jay?" I said,

He smirked slightly and rolled his eyes, "how could I forget. But hey, now I do too."

I laughed, I had caught that much while I was away. Jay had returned to the WWE not long after I left due to my neck injury. Now we were coworkers again.

"I thought you weren't due back for another six months."

I finally looked at the other man, acknowledging him for the first time in a year.

I glared a hole into his skull, "I'm not going to be wrestling for another six months."

I didn't give him any more information than that, and I wouldn't have been able to, seeing as Stephanie walked into the room at that time and called all attention to her and the meeting.

I turned to look at her and she flashed me a worried smile. I returned it, hoping my expression convinced her that I was alright.

I was going to be alright. I had to be.


	3. The Always Bring Up How You've Changed

_**Hey wonderful readers! You guys are amazing! Seven more reviews for the last chappy, including some new reviewers..what happened to the others, hmmm? lol**_

_**So thank you to everyone who reviewed, you guys make my day!**_

_**I feel so bad, i think i forgot to mention my beta the first 2 chappies! So..HUGE thank you to Raini for being my beta readers-you're the best hun! **_

_**Just some notes for this chappy- Milena is Rosa Mendes on screen if you didn't know...i know Paige has Melina and Milena as friends..but Melina, when she returns, will be referred to mostly as Mel, so as not to confuse anyone..umm..i really like this chapter, i dunno why, it's nothing special..i just like it :)**_

_**ENJOY & MAHALO!**_

_**xoxoxo**_

_******Angel**_

* * *

**Seasons Change But People Don't**

**Chapter 3- They Always Bring Up How You've Changed**

The meeting passed by uneventfully. I ignored the stares sent at me from familiar hazel eyes. I tried to focus on what Stephanie was saying, but for the most part, what she was talking about had nothing to do with me. So I would float off into my own thoughts.

Getting back into the ring plagued my thoughts, creating a fear inside me. I would admit it, I was afraid to get back in the ring. I was quite aware now how easily accidents can happen. I didn't want to risk my health; I didn't want to break my neck again.

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes briefly and then tried to focus back on the meeting.

"I guess now I'll cure everyone's curiosity as to why Ms. Ross is here," Stephanie said with a smile. The sound of my name completely shocked me out of my daze. My eyes landed on my boss and she grinned at me knowingly. I smiled at her innocently before she turned back to the Pros and continued.

"Vince has decided to add what he calls a 'motivation' for the Rookies." She smirked slightly and I rolled my eyes as she suppressed a chuckle. "Paige will be that 'motivation.'" She used air quotes, furthering the annoyance.

"So, what does that entail?" Jay asked from where he sat beside me. His eyes glanced in my direction before he looked back at the Head of Creative. The brunette woman glanced over the file in front of her on the table.

"The storyline states that whatever Rookie is rated number one will receive Paige's services as a manager until another poll is cast and the spot changes holders." She explained to the Pros, who nodded. "Now, before I set anything about the NXT storylines into total affect, does anyone have anything to add or any objections?" She asked.

I held my breath, hoping he wouldn't make a scene about this. There was silence and Stephanie smiled, "good. Then I'll see all of you next week when we start filming." With a nod, we were dismissed.

I pushed my chair backwards and stood, stretching slightly. I felt like I had been sitting down too much for one day. Between an air flight, driving from the airport here, sitting in Vince's office, and then sitting through the Creative meeting, I was stiff and sore and really needed to go for a jog or something.

I turned to the door, remembering how I had promised Jillian I'd go to lunch with her, Beth and Milena. I ran a hand through my curls as I chewed the inside of my cheek. I gave Jay an appreciative nod as he held the door open for me.

"Thanks," I murmured as I began to make my way down the hall, back toward the women's locker room.

"Paige, wait up!" An all too familiar voice called behind me.

I set my jaw but my steps did not slow in the slightest, I kept walking. I hoped I would reach the locker room before he caught up to me.

That hope was decimated when he touched my shoulder. He had caught up to me and I had no other choice but to turn to face him. So, I did.

"Can I help you, Phil?" I asked, arching a brown eyebrow.

He stared at me, taking in my slightly different look. "I-I wanted to talk to you." He recovered. He never stuttered; the Phil I knew was extremely confident. Sometimes a little too confident, which turned out to be his downfall several times. He thought he was too good to be caught in anything he did.

"Well, I don't have the time to talk to you, nor do I want to talk to you." I said and turned, walking away before he could respond. I was not in the mood. And I never would be.

/

"Chica! It's been forever!" Milena exclaimed as she pulled me in for a hug. I laughed slightly, having missed my friend. She had been brought up to RAW just a few months before my injury, but we had quickly clicked. She fit right into the group of friends I had found in Beth Phoenix, Melina Perez and Jillian Hall.

Beth grinned at me, "you look a little soft, Rossy." She commented with raised eyebrows. I was always known as the in shape one. Sure, Beth had a crazy buff physique. But I always had a feminine muscle definition. For the past few months, the desire to be athletic had kinda dwindled.

"I'm out of practice after breaking my neck, so shoot me." I said with a roll of my eyes.

"Leave her alone, it's the first time we've seen her in months, we don't want to chase her away already." Jillian interjected with a playful smirk.

I grinned at her, "Lord knows you can scare a person away."

"Hey!" Milena swatted my arm and I just chuckled at her as she smiled widely at me.

"Come on Cowgirl," Beth said, placing an arm around my shoulders as we headed out of the locker room and to the car.

The ride to a local restaurant was filled with chatter. I had missed out on so much during the year I was gone, which was to be expected. Add to that, my four best friends loved gossip. Even though only three of them were there, I was pretty sure I had been filled in on every topic on every wrestler you could imagine. Some of the things I didn't even want to know.

"I never feel out of the loop in the company when I'm with you girls," I muttered from where I sat in the backseat with Beth. Jillian was driving while Milena fidgeted with the radio station. By the time we had arrived at the restaurant they had tired themselves of gossip topics and instead were asking me questions.

"So what did you do on your time off?" Jillian asked after we had been seated at a booth and were given our menus.

I shrugged, "well, the first few months were comprised with a lot of not moving."

The girls nodded.

"But after I got the guard off and all, I really just focused on healing all of my injuries, ya know. I might as well be completely 100% physically when I get back in the ring." I shrugged.

"So, all you did was sit at home?" Milena asked, raising an eyebrow in disbelief.

"No." Yes.

"Well then, what else did you do? You must've had someone to hang out with." Jillian insisted.

No, I didn't. Beth gave me a knowing look. "Yeah, a friend of mine from high school was around a lot, taking care of me and stuff." I smiled at the two women reassuringly as Beth leaned into her menu. I myself took to debating between chicken club tacos or a chicken Caesar salad wrap.

Conversation slid away from me and my time away as soon as it became abundantly clear I wouldn't be providing anymore comments. The ladies went onto other topics, like the newest storylines, stories from the months I was absent, et cetera.

We ordered and received our meals. As we finished up the conversation turned toward relationships, ones that had been forged while I was gone, and ones that had been broken. That's when Beth glanced over at me.

"So…has Mr. Brooks tried talking to you yet?" she asked slowly, her voice staying level.

I bit the inside of my cheek and traced patterns through the condensation on the side of my glass. I let out a sigh, "he did."

That got everyone's attention and the three women sitting with me turned immediately attentive. I sighed again.

"When?" Milena asked, her eyebrow arching as a single manicured hand clenched. She was the hotheaded one out of the group, Beth was the level-headed one, Jillian was the emotional one, I was the stubborn one, and Melina was the creative one. We all played our role and at the moment, the stubborn one was refusing to give up any more details.

"I don't want to talk about it," I muttered.

"No shit, but you are." Jillian protested as she placed a comforting hand atop mine.

"There's nothing to tell," I tried to lure them away but they stood firm.

"Spill," Beth ordered and I sighed, yet again.

"I was walking to the locker room to meet up with you guys, and he caught up to me. Told me he wanted to talk, I told him I didn't want to, and I walked away."

"That's it?" Milena asked, visibly relaxing.

I nodded, "yeah, that's it."

"I can't believe it's been a year since you two split..." Jillian said, leaning back in her chair.

Beth and I both shot her a cold look and she just shrugged.

"Oh chill, you two were like the cutest of the cute and then...he blew it all to hell. It's not like I'm blaming you or anything. He was in the blame." Jillian said, holding her hands up innocently.

"For so many things," I muttered, rubbing my temples as the girls nodded in agreement.

We were silent for a few minutes, each of us reliving that night. The horror of falling, the fear they felt watching and knowing that I was seriously injured.

"I don't know what it is Paige, but you just seem different." Beth said, her voice thoughtful as she looked me over.

"I feel the same way, I mean, not only do you look different but…your whole vibe is just different now. I don't know, it just feels like...something's off with you." Milena muttered the last bit lowly.

I stared at them, half knowing they were right—I had changed. Not only physically, but emotionally and mentally as well. But to me, I still felt the same. I was just more cautious. So then, I didn't understand what they were saying completely.

/

I stood in front of the bathroom mirror in my hotel room, in just my underwear. I looked myself over. I was still thin, but not as toned as I was before my injury. My hair was shorter and a lighter color. My eyes seemed to have lost their luster and sparkle. My nails were no longer manicured, not even filed down evenly. My face looked tired, older, worn.

I smiled and studied the expression, noting its falseness. My cheeks lifted as my lips curled, but the happiness that is insinuated with the expression never reached my eyes.

My friends were right, I had changed.

And I realized, I didn't know how to change back.


	4. Youre Appealing To Emotions I Don't Have

_**Hello again readers. I'm excited for this chappy because the NXT Rookies finally get to meet Paige! Also, you learn about her on-screen character and such..I had some trouble figuring out her career history, so i'm sorry if that's kinda vague..i haven't decided and created the timeline of it all yet...but...here is the chappy!**_

_**I'd like to thank Raini for being my absolutely amazing beta who assured me that this fic is good and that i'm doing something right! **_

_**But i'd like to hear from my other readers. What am i doing right? What am I doing wrong? Let me know please! **_

_**Also, reviewers-y'all are fabulous! Thank you so sooooo much!**_

_**I only own Paige-that is all. If you're interested in seeing what Paige looks like, hit up my website...link is on my profile...become a member, message me, don't be shy! **_

_**ENJOY & MAHALO!**_

_**xoxoxo**_

_**Angel**_

_**PS- if anyone is wondering...'Mahalo' means 'thank you' in Hawaiian :) **_

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't **_

_**Chapter 4- You're Appealing To Emotions That I Simply Do Not Have**_

My gray-blue eyes stared at my reflection in the mirror, following the thick black lines that traced along the edges of my eyelids.

I hadn't been Athena in so long, but I knew it would only take but a few moments before I felt right at home in her skin.

Most every WWE Superstar or Diva had a character that they were charged with to play. Since I started in the WWE, I had been Athena. My character had gone through several changes, going from Stephanie's minion, to the best friend of Trish Stratus, to the Rock's 'hot mama', followed by Athena's 'Golden Age.'

I smiled; I had always enjoyed my character and the storylines that came with it. There had only been a few through the years that I disapproved, my being the valet of Chris Masters and various other small ones.

The gold and black dress screamed Athena to me and I couldn't help but grin wryly and shake my head as I stood. I admired the gold and black striped and sequined dress that hugged my body perfectly.

I fingered the gold necklace hanging around my neck, a black stone hung from it with a star cut out of the center. I stared at it in the mirror.

"Hey, you in there Paige?" Beth asked as she waved a manicured hand in front of my face. I blinked and turned to look at her, smiling awkwardly.

"Sorry, I was spacing." I said, running a hand through my hair.

"No shit, hon," She replied, trying to hide her smile. I rolled my eyes at her. "Why were you spacing?" She asked after a few moments of silence.

I shrugged before stepping away from the mirror and turning to Beth. I motioned to myself with my hands, "I was thinking how long it's been since I've been...this."

She smiled, "feels good, doesn't it?"

I couldn't lie to her, "It feels great," I smiled. I hadn't realized it, but I missed this part of my life so much.

"When Athena is ready for action, I call dibs on the first match," The Glamazon said with a smirk.

"Naturally," I said with a nod and we both laughed.

"Kick ass out there," She said, giving me a one-armed hug before I left the locker room.

It was a few hours before the show would start, but I had yet to meet the Rookies. Stephanie had set up a meet and greet type thing I guess for the Rookies and I, which I was heading to.

I walked into the conference room and was greeted by a smiling Billion Dollar Princess.

"Honey, that smile scares me," I told her and the brunette laughed.

"Very funny," she said, deadpan, before beaming once more. She placed a hand on my shoulder and turned to face the table and its occupants.

"Gentlemen, for the Rookies, I'd like you to meet Paige Ross. On screen, Athena." Stephanie introduced.

The Rookies, to my surprise, stood up.

"Paige," Stephanie pulled me over a few steps to the first Rookie at the end of the table. "Meet Stu Bennett, he'll be wrestling on screen as Wade Barrett." Stephanie introduced. He offered his hand, which I shook.

"It's wonderful when they completely change our names, isn't it?" I asked and we both laughed slightly.

I caught Stephanie grinning out of the corner of my eye before she directed me onto the next Rookie. "David Otunga, wrestling under his real name," Stephanie shot me a look and I rolled my eyes before shaking the man's hand.

"Fred Rosser, wrestling under Darren Young," he smiled and the first thing I noticed about him, was his hair. I grinned as I shook his hand.

"Tyrone Evans, wrestling as Michael Tarver," I shook his hand.

"Lot a name changes going on here, Steph," I said, giving the brunette beside me a look. She rolled her eyes before fixing me with a playful glare. She looked at the Rookies as a whole.

"Paige has always been against the changing of names for the sake of characters," she announced.

"I mean, really Steph, John Hennigan's changed his name twice on screen." I said, raising my eyebrows and spreading my hands out. She shook her head.

"Where were we," she muttered before we both moved to the next Rookie. His smile was the first thing I noticed. It was completely genuine and just a beautiful smile. "Paul Lloyd Jr.," Stephanie motioned to the man. Our eyes met and I smiled before shaking his hand. "He'll be wrestling under the name Justin Gabriel." I rolled my eyes at Steph before she motioned me onward.

"Ryan Reeves, on screen Skip Sheffield." The guy was pretty huge and I felt tiny in comparison as I shook his large hand. I offered a smile, which he returned before I moved on.

"Heath Miller, wrestling as Heath Slater," She said, knowing a comment was coming.

I smiled as I shook his hand, "not much of a change, lucky you." He laughed along with me before I moved on to the last Rookie.

"Ah, Bryan Danielson," I said, "it's been years," I said, hugging my longtime friend. As I stepped back Stephanie seemed a little shocked.

"Well, you haven't been on the Indie circuit in a long while," he shot back.

I held up my hands, "true, but I've been kinda busy."

"I'd say," he smiled before we both chuckled.

I looked to Steph, "so is that everyone?" I asked. She nodded.

"Now we just need to explain to them why you're here," she said and I nodded. I smiled at Jay as I walked over and took the empty seat beside him.

"Quite the show you put on," he murmured with a smirk.

I looked at him with furrowed eyebrows.

"The dress is a nice touch," he cracked a smile and I remembered just what I looked like. I bit the inside of my cheek and shook my head.

"You suck."

"So I've been told." We both laughed quietly.

Stephanie shot us a look which shut us both up. I settled into my seat, crossing my legs. I let my eyes sweep over the eight Rookies once more as Stephanie explained my position in NXT yet again. Every now and again one of the men would look up, eyes dancing toward me, before they looked back at Stephanie hastily.

It was never my idea to become a huge staple in the WWE. Ever since Trish and Lita left, Mickie and I had been all there was in the Diva's division for a while, with help from Melina and Beth. During that time I took on any storyline thrown at me, so the WWE Universe got to know my character extremely well, and they also got to experience my acting skills at their best.

Over the years, the fans had just grown accustomed to me, and even when I'd turn heel briefly, I still had a nice size fan base. It was nice to know so many people supported me in my dream job. It was a heartwarming feeling, to know people believed in you even when the majority of the population thought you were doing the wrong thing.

"So, all of you will be receiving advice from yet another pro," Stephanie concluded, clapping her hands together. "You are all dismissed. If you have any questions come see me. Have a good afternoon and I will be watching the show tonight." With that she began to collect up her papers.

I stood up simultaneously with Jay. "Well, I guess I'll go find the girls and chill until showtime," I said with a grin. I patted Jay on the shoulder in goodbye as I walked past him and toward the door. I made it out into the hall, and that's when I was stopped.

"Paige, c'mon, talk to me," Phil said as he fell into step beside me.

I stopped walking, placing my hands on my hips, "Phil..." he didn't let me continue.

"I just want to catch up. I haven't seen you in a year," His eyes searched mine pleadingly.

I knew Phil well enough to know he was a damn good actor when he needed to be.

I laughed sarcastically, "you think you can pull that kind of bull shit off on me?" I arched an eyebrow and turned to walk down the opposite hallway.

His fingers locked around my wrist and jerked me back around to face him roughly. Now we stood only inches from each other.

"I think you forgot the definition of 'personal space,'" I muttered and he rolled his eyes.

"Tough exterior bull shit doesn't work on me either Paige," He retorted and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Let go of me," I said, his fingers only tightened. "Look Phil, you ruined your chance with me months ago; I'm not stupid enough to take you back." I growled, trying to pry my arm out of his grasp, but failing.

He leaned closer, "I highly suggest you rethink that," his voice was low.

"You don't scare me."

He smirked and leaned back, shaking his head, "I know you still love me Paige."

"And now I know you're delusional."

"You're in denial." He shot back.

"You cheated." He opened his mouth to deny it, "and don't even try to lie your way out of this. I know you were fucking some blond bimbo when I was on a different brand. You didn't even try to cover it up when I got drafted back to RAW."

He shrugged, "You weren't around."

"And you're an asshole." I stated. My back connected with the wall.

"Say that again, I think I misheard you?" He said through gritted teeth.

"No, I think you understood it perfectly." I titled my head slightly, in a challenging manner.

"Is there a problem here?" An accented voice broke through. Phil let go of my arm like it burned him.

"No," he muttered as he stalked off down the hall.

I rubbed my wrist slightly, looking over to see who had helped end the confrontation.

"Ah, Stu, right?" I said, motioning to him.

He nodded, eyes looking me over, "he didn't hurt you, did he?"

I smirked sarcastically, "no, he was being the perfect gentleman." I rolled my eyes, to make sure he understood I was joking.

He chuckled, "shouldn't you be getting ready to head out, the shows starts in mere minutes."

I pointed at him, "that'd probably be a good idea," I smiled and stepped away from the wall. Heading toward the gorilla.

Stu fell into step beside me, "mind if I accompany you there?" he asked politely.

I looked up at him and smiled, "I don't mind at all."


	5. You'll Never Remember

_**I apologize for not updating in forever. I've been busy and then for the longest time i had no idea where this fic was going. Now, thanks to my amazing e-sis Raini, i have several ideas to work off of! I'd also like to thank Raini for beta-ing this chappy! i love you hun!**_

_**Thank you everyone who reviewed, they make me smile when i read them. Also, thanks for the faves and alerts too!**_

_**I only own Paige, that is all. Everything affiliated with the WWE, belongs to the WWE or to themselves...**_

_**Mahalo & Enjoy!**_

_**xoxoxo**_

_**Angel**_

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't**_

_**Chapter 5- You'll Never Remember, Your Head Is Far Too Blurry **_

I smiled as I stood backstage next to Matt Striker, watching the show.

"They're not rookies," I muttered.

Matt shrugged, "most aren't. But, they're playing characters. Remember, _Athena_."

I smirked and rolled my eyes, "yeah, I'm aware."

We both chuckled as the NXT theme played.

"Ready?" he asked.

I nodded. "See you out there."

The Rookies, all standing in the interview area, were panned as the crowd roared in the background.

I laughed as I watched Mike interact with his 'Rookie', Bryan Danielson. The show was momentarily handed over to Matt, who, at the end of his spiel, mentioned that they had a surprise for the WWE audience, as well as the Rookies.

I took a deep breath as the Rookies and their pros were lined up on opposite sides of the stage. Matt stepped up into the middle, standing at the top of the ramp. He explained the rules of NXT, what would be happening each week, how the polls were going to be handled, and how eliminations would be decided.

I grinned, this was it.

_[on screen]_

"As you are all well aware, when the polls are cast, one of the Rookies will be ranked number one. And sure, that'll keep you out of elimination's way, but several of the other Rookies will also be safe, right? So, for whoever is currently ranked number one after each poll, we have an added bonus for you, that will serve as...motivation." Matt Striker motioned to the curtain.

Toxic Valentine by All Time Low blasted throughout the arena. A familiar brunette walked out onto the stage as the unfamiliar song played. The fans, upon seeing her face on the Titantron, stood simultaneously. All cheering and screaming for the former WWE Women's Champion, Athena.

She blew an exaggerated kiss to the crowd as Matt handed her a microphone.

"WWE Universe!" She yelled as she lifted her free hand into the air, the crowd erupting once more.

She beamed as she glanced around the arena. "It's been way too long. But, as you can see, the WWE's Leading Lady is back. And I'm here to provide some guidance, and as Matt said, motivation, to these eight Rookies." She motioned to the line up of Rookies who were all looking her over, grins on their faces.

She winked at them before sauntering over. "I've been watching the show so far from the back. I must say, I've been quite impressed."

"Impressed, really?" The Miz interrupted as he stepped forward from the line of Pros. Several of the other men groaned and rolled their eyes.

Athena whipped around and raised a delicate eyebrow at the Miz. "Excuse me?" she asked.

"The only thing we've seen so far is Daniel Bryan prove he has no personality." The Miz motioned to his Rookie in disdain.

Athena rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "Miz, if he has no personality, isn't it your job to fix it? You _are _his Pro." She said, and shrugged nonchalantly.

The Miz stared at her, speechless for once, but he recovered quickly. "I think he is beyond fixing."

"Really," she smirked, "really."

The crowd screamed. Athena had always been known to steal the lines of other Divas and Superstars.

"Really, Athena. But, I assure you, I will make Daniel Bryan the WWE's next breakout star because I'm the Mi-"

She interrupted him, pushing him in the chest with her free hand, causing him to fall back a step.

"Because I'm Athena, and I'm...Awesome." She said, smirking the entirety of the line, saying it with a class that was part of her persona. She dropped her microphone, waved to the fans, blew a kiss to the Rookies, then disappeared backstage.

_[off screen]_

I couldn't help but laugh as I sat down in the gorilla, crossing my legs and rubbing my neck. It had felt fantastic to be out there again, and back in my element. I loved wrestling, but the acting that was just as much a requirement for this job is what I loved. Sure, sometimes not being able to break kayfabe was kind of a buzz kill, but going out there and showing up men thanks to a fantastic writer and your superior acting skills, was a whole other ballpark of amazing.

I watched as the Pros and Rookies filed backstage during the commercial break. I grinned as Mike sat down next to me.

"Of course, I just had to be your first victim of gimmick infringement," he said sarcastically before smiling.

I rolled my eyes, "you're just jealous that your line sounds better when I say it."

"Oh, I see you haven't lost your spark!" Matt Hardy said as he came over to us. I smiled as I stood and hugged the man. We had known each other for years and he was one of my closer Superstar friends.

"I broke my neck, not my sense of humor." I said, flashing him my winning smirk. He laughed, squeezing my shoulder.

"I'm glad you're doing better." He said, and Mike nodded in agreement.

By this time, a few of the Rookies and other Pros had made their way over to our small group.

Jay threw an arm around my shoulders, "phenomenal job out there, as usual."

"You did great for your first night back," Chris Irvine commented as he and his Rookie, Stu, pulled up seats.

"What's up next on the agenda?" I asked.

"Ron's Rookie against Phil's." Mike said.

"Then Heath and I versus Carly and Tyrone." Jay said, nodding toward where Carly, on screen Carlito, was talking to one of the Rookies I had met earlier, Tyrone Evans.

"And of course, we will cap off the night with endless hours of partying to celebrate such a wonderful first episode." Mike said with a Cheshire cat grin. I rolled my eyes.

"Which you, of course, will be attending Paige," Jay said, squeezing my shoulders.

"I think not. Every time we go out for a night of fun, you guys all get wasted and I end up getting nominated as designated driver. Which means I have zero fun." I glared at the men around me.

/

"Why does this always happen?" I asked the air around me as Mike came sloshing through the revolving door that marked the entrance into our hotel.

"One more time, please?" Mike asked, giving me his best puppy dog face.

I rolled my eyes, "knock yourself out," I muttered as I leaned against the floor-to-wall glass window with the hotel's name printed across it in large black lettering. I stared out into the darkened street. I smiled slightly as I watched Jay try to convince his Rookie Heath that it was safe to get out of the car. Jay had offered to be the second designated driver, so I wouldn't be the only sober person in the VIP section of a local hotspot.

A loud thud sounded throughout the eerily silent lobby and my head snapped over toward the source. I smirked before chuckling as Mike lay sprawled out on the marble flooring. One slide of the revolving door blocked by his foot.

I shook my head as I walked over to his prone body and crouched down beside him. "You okay Mike?" I asked.

I received a muffled answer that I couldn't even begin to translate into normal speech.

"Need any help here?"

I turned at the sound of the accented voice. The voice belonged to Matt Hardy's Rookie. I scrambled mentally for a first name.

I grimaced, "it's Paul, right?" I asked, hoping I was correct. I'd hate to leave a bad impression and come off as a bitch who looked down on others.

He smiled the same charming and beaming smile he had given me when we met in the boardroom earlier that day. "Yeah, that's it."

He seemed to know I had been skeptical on my name knowledge. I laughed it off slightly.

"Um, I may need a little help actually. I think I can get him to his room, but opening the door and all would be kinda hard while trying to support his dead weight." I said, looking back at the U.S. Champ with a smirk.

Paul went to step forward and scoop Mike up, but I beat him to it. I pulled Mike to his feet quickly and bent over. "Alright Mikey, you're going up." I tipped him over my shoulder, adjusting him slightly into a fireman's carry and straightened up.

Mike mumbled something incoherently and I just rolled my eyes as I turned to Paul. He looked surprised.

"What, wasn't expecting me to pick up a man almost twice my size?" I asked with a smug grin.

"I'll take it this isn't the first time you've had to carry one of them up to their room."

"Oh, most definitely not. I lost track after I reached 50-something." And it wasn't technically a joke. I had lost count of how many times I'd done this. Especially when I was dating Phil and felt guilty when I drank around him. I always volunteered to be the DD then.

"Alright," I said, letting out a breath, "to the elevators."

Paul nodded and we headed toward the hallway where the several elevators were located. He pressed the up button and we waited.

"So Paul-" he cut me off.

"Call me PJ, I'd rather prefer it."

I shrugged, correcting myself, "So PJ, you don't seem drunk at all. It's...surprising. All the Rookies are totally gone." I said, remembering Heath and Jay.

He shrugged, "I know how the guys can be and I figured someone would need to stay sober enough to keep them in line."

"And you took that responsibility upon yourself," I commented as we entered the elevator, me trying to be careful and not smack Mike's head into a wall, "that's noble."

PJ cracked a grin at me, "I guess it can be seen that way."

I raised an eyebrow, "well, I didn't have that choice. And if I had been in your shoes I would've said 'screw them.'" I grinned at him as he laughed.

"With you being the only girl in the group, one would think they would want you to be drinking," he said, joking.

I frowned slightly. The guys had their reasons for making me the driver all the time. The main one being Phil.

I shrugged it off and placed the happy-go-lucky smile back on my face. I looked up at PJ again, hoping he hadn't noticed my smile's falter.

He had.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

I shook my head as the elevator dinged and the doors opened. "No, I'm fine."

We exited the elevator and I turned slightly, "mind looking for his wallet?" I asked.

PJ shook his head and dug Mike's wallet out of his pocket, he opened it and retrieved his key card. "Jackpot." He said, showing it to me.

I smiled, "we could totally take all his money right now and he'd never know." I said wistfully.

PJ laughed but touched my arm before walking down the hall, heading toward Mike's room. "At least the room number is on the card otherwise we'd be kinda screwed."

"Not screwed, he'd be rooming with one of us," I corrected and he just shrugged as he stopped in front of a door. He glanced at me.

"Isn't he getting heavy?" he asked.

I would've shrugged, but I had a 200-something pound man on my shoulders, making that motion impossible. So instead, I just shook my head.

"Nope. Just open the door," I said, nodding to the door. PJ nodded and inserted the key card before pushing the door open and stepping inside. I followed him, being careful not to injure the Chick Magnet. I bent over slightly and dumped him onto the bed.

I rolled my shoulders as I slid off his shoes. I nodded and turned around to face PJ, who stood by the door, watching. "Our work here is done," I announced with a smile. He handed me the key card, which I placed on the nightstand before we both shuffled quietly out of the room.

"Mind if I walk you to your room?" he asked.

I smiled, "I'm just getting escorted everywhere today," I commented with a grin, "yeah, sure."

He smiled and we walked down the hall in silence. It was a comfortable silence though, not awkward at all. Neither of us had anything to say really. We were both tired and just wanted to get to bed, so we didn't bug each other with small talk.

I stopped abruptly at my door and he turned to face me, his smile returning.

"Well," I motioned to the door, "this is me. Thanks for," I grinned, "helping me with Mike and walking me to my room. I appreciate it."

"Anytime," he paused, "it's Paige, right?"

I gave a sarcastic laugh, "like you don't already know." And with a smirk I opened my hotel room door and slipped inside.

The door closed behind me with a click just as I flopped down onto my bed, and fell asleep.


	6. Last Years Wishes, This Years Apologies

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! You guys are just amazing! **

**Thanks also to my beta- Raini- whom i love to death because she is awesome! **

**I finally think i have an actual plot line for this fic, so hopefully, updates will be more frequent.**

**I only own Paige**

**Mahalo & enjoy!**

**xoxoxo**

**Angel**

* * *

**Seasons Change But People Don't**

**Chapter 6- Last Year's Wishes Are This Year's Apologies **

I hummed _Smells Like Teen Spirit _under my breath as I tugged my hair up into a ponytail. The shorter layers of my hair fell loose and curled slightly at the ends as a section fell in front of my right eye slightly. "Here we are now, entertain us," I muttered to the melody I had playing in my head. My hips swayed slightly to the silent beat as I walked and my hands were doing a little salsa movement in front of me slightly.

I looked up as I heard the sound of a door opening, breaking out of my personal mental night club, and dropped one of my hands down to my sides, adjusting the strap of my gym bag with the other. I brushed the same hand through my loose hair, pushing it back out of my eyes.

"Paige, morning," I was greeted with the accented voice of PJ Lloyd, dressed in a pair of track pants and a white tank top. He flashed me his white, beaming smile shining from his skin, which was covered in a light sheen of sweat.

"Morning, you just get back from a jog?" I asked, tugging my ponytail tighter.

"Yeah, heading to the gym now. Meeting up with the guys." He replied before nodding toward my gym bag, "you too?"

"Yep, I feel like I haven't done a proper workout in forever. Figured I'd get back into the swing of things." I said, grinning as we started walking toward the hotel's gym.

"If you ever need a sparring partner, feel free to ask," he offered, reaching for the door handle and holding it open for me.

"Thanks," I mumbled, trying not to let his offer get to me. I doubted I'd be calling him up anytime soon to invite him to spar with me in the ring.

"I need your number though, you know, just in case you ever do want to...spar," he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

I laughed, "is this usually how you get numbers from female wrestlers?"

He smirked and shrugged nonchalantly, "maybe."

"Would it be too cheesy or cliché if I wrote my number on your hand?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"A little," he glanced at me, hazel eyes dancing, "but not too cheesy."

I stopped walking and dug through the outside pocket of my bag, finally producing a pen. I grabbed his hand and pulled it toward me, palm up. I quickly scribbled my number onto his hand, "don't sweat it off, okay?" I said, looking up and meeting his eyes.

He smiled at me, our eyes connecting, "promise," he said softly.

"Hey, look who decided to show up," Bryan Danielson said, holding his arms out.

"Hey Bry," I said, hugging the short man. He hugged me tightly, stepping in a circle slightly, before he let me go.

"Well, didn't know Bryan was a ladies man," the British accent of Stu said as he threw an arm around Bryan's shoulders.

I pinched Bryan's cheek, "oh yeah, I've had a crush on him for the longest time," I said with a wide smile.

"Since the Indies, I know," he joked, pulling me into a headlock, causing me to drop my bag. I instantly tensed up and pushed against his midsection. Sensing my sudden discomfort he let me go. "Sorry," he muttered under his breath. I just shook my head, dismissing it and trying to hide my reaction.

"I need to get to work," I said, picking up my bag with a grin at the three men. "I'm gonna head for the treadmill." I said, tucking some strands of hair behind my ear before I headed over to a treadmill. There was no one else around. I spotted the other NXT Rookies by the benches, working out and talking. I threw my bag down in front of the treadmill before digging through the bag, searching for my water bottle and iPod. I took a swig before I hopped onto the sides of the treadmill and programmed my settings.

I started off at a leisurely jog, tugging my ponytail slightly before unzipping the hoodie I was wearing to reveal a zebra print cami sports bra. I tossed the sweatshirt to the side and adjusted the strap of my bra before turning up the speed a level. I placed my iPod earphones in and I let myself focus solely on the task at hand.

I stared at the wall across the room and ran, hearing the music blasting in my ears but not really listening to it. I turned the speed up again, jogging fast. I turned the speed up again, barely feeling the ache of exertion in my legs. I reached to turn it up again, but a voice distracted me.

"Whoa, slow it down a little," Stu said, smirking slightly as he stepped up onto the front of the treadmill, crossing his arms over the top edge of it so he stood opposite me. I stepped onto the sides and watched as he turned down the speed for me and I took out my earphones. "You okay?"

I was brought down to a walk, but glaring, I replied, "yeah, fine."

"I may not know you very well, we only met yesterday, but I can tell something is wrong. I'm not a blind man," he said, giving me a pointed look.

"Hand me my water?" I asked. He handed it to me and I took a sip before answering.

"Nothing's wrong, just thinking..." I shrugged.

"What about?"

"Me and my career." I wasn't sure why I was just telling him all of this, but I was. I just couldn't seem to stop myself.

"I personally think everything will turn out fine for you and your career. I mean, you look 100 percent after a life threatening injury. It's amazing how you've recovered." He said, and he did look impressed as he glanced me over.

"You weren't there. It's been a year, I've had time to compose myself and fix things. But if we had been having this conversation six months ago, you would've been advising me to just quit."

I studied him for a moment, and he studied me. He dropped the subject.

"Well, the initial reason I came over here was to invite you to lunch with the guys. We're gonna go shower up and then head to the hotel restaurant."

I completely stopped the treadmill and hopped off, "sounds good to me. I'll go shower as well."

The tall man nodded, "see you in a few then."

"Yeah," I muttered, pulling my towel out of my bag and draping it around my neck.

/

"I'm ready," I announced as I joined the group of men.

"Alright, let's go," Fred said, pointing to the door and then heading through it. I smiled slightly and fell into step between Stu and PJ.

"Hello again gentlemen," I said with a grin as they stepped aside to let me walk through the door in front of them. I glanced from one to the other, "I never really got to ask you guys, but how'd you like your first night? Pretty incredible, huh?"

"Incredible is an understatement," PJ replied and I smiled, wishing I could share his enthusiasm for being in the ring. I was once like that, Vince couldn't put me in enough matches. If he would've let me, I would've gladly wrestled with the men. But now I'm grateful he never let me; my neck injury would've just been far more premature if he had.

I unconsciously rubbed the back of my neck as we walked into the lobby.

"PJ's right, it's a great experience for all of us." Stu said.

I nodded, "I'm sure Steph and Creative have a lot planned for you guys. I'm glad I get to come along for the ri-" I was cut off.

"Paige!"

I stopped, along with Stu and PJ, and turned to see who was calling me.

Randy Orton stood a few feet off, looking awkward, uncertain, and guilty. "Hey Paige," he said, finally approaching me. I tried to put a smile on my face, but suddenly found it hard.

"Hi Randy," I said glancing back at PJ and Stu, who were still standing by my sides.

"Could you guys, uh, give us a minute?" Randy asked. The two Rookies shared a glance before looking at me. I nodded, "go," I said quietly.

"Walk with me?" Randy asked once the two men were out of earshot.

I nodded and let him put an arm around me as we headed to the lobby doors and walked out into the gloomy streets. Clouds covered the sky, foreshadowing rain.

"I've been wanting to talk to you since the...accident." It was infuriating and ironic that people referred to my injury as 'the accident.' It was an accident in a sense, I wasn't supposed to be pushed off the turnbuckle. But the two guys had decided to alter the script and it had cost me my neck, literally

Randy sighed heavily, "I really don't know where to start. I feel like your injury is all my fault." I stopped him.

"It's not all your fault, you guys made a change, and I didn't notice. It was a 'my bad' on all of our parts."

"But you shouldn't have been hurt."

"Yeah, well, I was. You can't change that now, I can't, no one can. I understand that and I've come to terms with the fact that I'm never going to be flawless again. I have my cracks." I tugged the tie out of my hair and shook it loose as we walked extremely slowly, barely moving anywhere.

We were quiet for a while, Randy and I. We'd been kind of close before I broke my neck, but since then our relationship had been strained. I knew he blamed himself for what happened, and I blamed myself. It just wasn't a good or healthy mix. Add to that I blocked everyone from the WWE out of my life and it created quite the obstacle for a friendship.

"Have you talked to John?"

"No, I'm just...not ready yet."

I saw him glance at me out of the corner of my eye but I didn't look at him, I just stared forward.

"He never even showed up at the hospital. Didn't give me a call, or send me a get well soon card. Nothing, Randy. I'm just not ready to let go of all the emotions that his actions instilled in me. He broke me literally and figuratively. If he would've followed the script you guys had been given and then been paying attention, I would never have broken my neck. I wouldn't have secluded myself for a whole damn year because I couldn't face everyone." I felt the tears prick my eyes but forced myself to hold them at bay. I shook my head, "he doesn't want my forgiveness and he sure as hell doesn't deserve it."

Randy pulled me to him, hugging me to his chest and rubbing my back. "It's gonna be okay Paige. I know, John can be a complete retard sometimes, but he'll see his mistake and he'll make things up to you."

"It's been a year, a whole fucking year. It's a little too late for him to be making things up to me." I said, stepping away. I glanced around us and realized we had only made it a few feet from the front door of the hotel. I ran my fingers through my hair, looking back at Randy. "Look, I'm glad we talked but...I need to go, I promised the guys I'd go to lunch with them." It wasn't a lie, but it was a crap excuse and we both knew it.

"Yeah, okay. I guess...we'll catch up more later." He nodded.

I began to walk back towards the glass double doors. "Yeah." Now that was a lie.

"Bye Paige, take care," Randy called after me.

"You too," I said over my shoulder before disappearing inside. I stopped, trying to compose myself, my breathing, my tears. I couldn't go to lunch with the Rookies like that. I needed to appear like the old Paige, the strong bad ass one. Not this new frightened, reclusive, and skittish one.

I didn't like my new self, but people just don't change that easily.


	7. A Scar Away From Falling Apart

_**I am so so so so soooooooooo sorry about the extremely long wait. I know, i'm horrible. But now...i think i'm back into the groove of this fic. **_

_**This hasn't been beta read, i wanted to post it asap, but i will send it to my beta now..when it's all corrected, i'll repost the corrected the chapter and replace this one. **_

_**I only own Paige Ross, I do not own anything affiliated with the WWE, i do not own any of the professional wrestlers used. I am borrowing them to construct a fictional story for entertainment purposes. I am in no way, shape or form making any money off of this. Also, i do not own any lyrics used, they belong to their respective artists/writers/composers. **_

_**I hope you enjoy this chapter, and again i apologize for the wait. Because of the wait this is technically my 1st update of 2011 for this fic. I'm horrible, it's the end of February *bursts into tears*... I hope people still read and review! I would appreciate it!**_

_**thank you to the reviewers of the last chapter. **_

_**Mahalo & enjoy**_

_**xoxoxo**_

_**Angel**_

_**

* * *

**_

_**Seasons Change But People Don't**_

_**Chapter 7- A Scar Away From Falling Apart**_

PJ and Stu were waiting in the lobby for me. I walked over to them, tugging my fingers through my hair with a heavy sigh. I tried to ease the tension in my body, the sea of raging emotions inside me. Talking to Randy had just reminded me of everything I had been trying to hide from in the past year. The idea of seeing John again and talking to him made me want to be sick. He had cost me so much with such a small, miniscule mistake. I could've been paralyzed—or worse—killed.

A hand on my shoulder shook me from the thoughts. I met Stu's concerned eyes and realized the feeling to be honest and genuine. He had asked me something that I didn't catch, "I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. Can you repeat that?"

"I asked if you are okay," he repeated. I opened my mouth to reply and stopped short for a moment.

I forced myself to smile, "yeah," my eyes moved to PJ, hoping to convey the assurance my gaze needed to, "I'm fine."

"What did Randy want?" PJ asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

I shook my head slightly, "nothing really, just wanted to check up on me. We are going to catch up more later." It was a lie, God I told so many lies. Just to get by.

The look PJ gave me was skeptical and I knew I was tiptoeing on a thin line. Eventually they'd figure out that wasn't the truth, already their belief in the words was short.

I smiled again, hoping to change the topic quickly, "lunch?" I asked, motioning toward the restaurant, the rest of the NXT guys had already been seated and were glancing at menus.

Stu glanced over and nodded, "I guess, let's go."

The three of us joined the rest of the guys. I sat between PJ and Heath and found myself falling into conversation easily with the guys. They were easy to fit in with, conversation was on easy topics, nothing serious. Jokes, laughter, all the things that kept me from facing my own reality, it was like a safe haven and a drug all in the same moment. I took advantage of it and became addicted, losing myself in the enjoyable companionship of strangers and the quick friendship of those who didn't know the truth.

We didn't realize how quickly time passed as we talked and words flowed from our mouths until I leaned back in my seat and checked my cell for the time.

"Shit."

All eyes turned to me as I looked up, "we're going to be late for the taping." I said.

"Shit." They all repeated my one-worded phrase.

"I got the check boys, you can pay me back later," I said as I tossed bills on the table before tucking my wallet back in my gym bag.

We hurriedly shuffled out of the hotel and into our rentals. I hopped into a car with Heath, Bryan, PJ and Fred.

"Shit, we're gonna get there just in time," Heath said as he started the car and sped out of the parking lot onto the street.

I just laughed from the middle seat of the back, the guys all turned to look at me like I was insane. "You guys have never been late to a taping before, I have. Don't worry, I'm a pro at this. I think we'll still make it on time though, it'll be okay."

They weren't reassured by my words and instead just turned back around in their seats stiffly. I rolled my eyes and leaned back in the seat.

"You didn't strike me as the type that doesn't mind arriving late." Fred commented from his seat next to me.

I grinned, "only fashionably late."

"Girl, you're an interesting one. Honestly, I thought you'd be total stuck up bitch, no offense," he added hastily.

"Am I a stuck up bitch?" I asked, arching an eyebrow.

He chuckled, "no, you're much better than I thought you'd be. You're actually kinda cool."

"Well thank you Fred, I appreciate it."

We tumbled out of the car, grabbing suitcases out of the trunk and headed into the back entrance of the arena. Security stared at us as we passed and I just flashed a grin, "sorry we're late gentlemen."

They eased up slightly and opened the doors for us.

Wade stopped a stage hand as we stepped inside, asking where the NXT locker room was. He pointed us in the right direction and told us we were lucky that we weren't late, yet.

I laughed softly as the guys all visibly relaxed, "told you guys it would be okay."

"That you did," Stu nodded with a half grin.

"Well, there you all are!"

I froze for a moment as the guys all turned to see Punk, Matt Hardy and Jay walking towards us. Stu's eyes trained on me for a moment, noticing the tense lines of my body. I made myself relax and turn to face the three pros that approached us.

I smiled at Jay easily as the guys greeted each other. Jay wrapped me in a one-armed hug.

"I must say Heath, you have the best pro," I said, slinging my arm around the Canadian's waist.

Jay grinned, "I agree with Paige."

The chuckled, except Phil, who was intently staring at Jay's arm placed around my shoulders.

"You guys should head to the locker room, show's starting in a few," Matt said, jerking his thumb down the all where the locker room was. The guys nodded, conversing shortly with the pros.

Jay pulled me aside as they talked about the show. He kept his arm around me and we walked a few steps to the side slowly, "you okay?"

"Fine."

"You just look...tense."

I looked up at Jay, remembering he hadn't been in the company during my drama with Phil. "It's nothing, Jay."

"You sure, because if you ask me it looks like Phil was trying to kill me with his eyes just a few seconds ago. I know you two broke up but...is there...?" he trailed off, questioningly.

My eyebrows furrowed in disbelief, "he cheated on _me_ Jay, obviously he doesn't have feelings for me anymore."

"Do you still love him? That's what I'm asking." Jay said, raising his eyebrows.

I glanced off at the guys, who were starting to file down the hall toward the locker room. I didn't see Phil anywhere though. I looked back at Jay and shook my head, "no Jay, I don't love him anymore." I let out a breath and ran a hand through my hair, which was escaping from the quick bun I had put it in.

"If something is up with him and you need me to-" I cut him off, touching his arm, telling him without words to chill.

He shook his head slightly, "I'm just looking out for you Paige. We've been friends for years, you know I don't like to see you hurt."

I wanted to ask him if that was why he never visited me while I was injured. Was that the reason no one came to see me. The reasons my 'friends' called once, received no answer and just gave up on me. But I didn't say any of that, instead I just smiled up at Jay, putting up the facade I had created for myself. "Everything is fine Jay, don't worry. Now, I need to go get ready."

"Okay, but Paige seriously, if anything-" I pushed his shoulder gently, urging him to get moving.

"I'll come to you if I need to kick anyone's ass. I know Jay."

"Alright," he grinned, "I think we're gonna meet at the gorilla to go over the show once the guys are finished changing. So, I'll see you in a few Rossy."

I smiled slightly at the nickname as he walked away. Jay was an alright guy and I couldn't blame him for everything, he didn't deserve my anger or distrust.

I turned in the opposite direction and began to walk to the Divas' locker room. I rolled my bag behind me but only got a few feet before a voice stopped me.

"What's going on with you and Jay?" I knew the tone in his voice well. Jealousy.

"Oh, don't tell me you're _jealous _Phil," I said, not turning to look at him, I continued walking. I took purposeful steps toward the Divas' locker room.

He scoffed as he followed me. Phil had always been the jealous type. He never liked me being around other guys while we were together. He hated my close friendship with John Hennigan and several others.

He ignored my comment, "running from me isn't going to stop me from wanting to talk to you."

"A girl can dream," I snapped back, continuing with my walk.

"Paige." His fingers curled around my wrist.

I spun on my heel, my eyes narrowing at him as he stared at me. "Leave me alone!"

We stared at each other, "I don't want you to hate me."

"It's too late for that."

He grimaced at my words and my wrist slid from his grasp, "Paige..."

I shook my head, "you're the one who fucked up Phil. I shouldn't feel horrible and _guilty _when I didn't do anything wrong. You did." I raked my fingers through my hair, shaking my head again. "You know what, there's no point in me telling you this. I'm just going to go." I tried to leave.

"I'm sorry."

Tears burned my eyes as I walked away, but I choked the sobs down. I'd wanted to hear those words for so long, and he said them now. Over a year later. What good did they do me now? I never got me closure, so the wound was scarred over, a long puckering line of raised flesh on my heart that still made me flinch when touched. That was my relationship with Phil.

Love doesn't just disappear, no matter how badly someone hurts you. You can't just stop loving them, can't just flip the switch off like with electricity. It's not that simple. You need time and closure. I was missing half of the equation. I didn't want the closure anymore, I just wanted to start living again.

I walked, lost in my whirling thoughts. I didn't even notice where I was going, or the fact that I needed to get ready for the show. I was in sweats and a tank top, but those details went unnoticed.

"Paige?"

I stopped and looked up. PJ stood in front of me.

I blinked up at him before taking a deep breath and calming myself.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

I swallowed, nodding. "Um...yeah."

He tilted his head to the sound, "I think you need to get ready. Why are you just standing outside the locker room?"

I blinked, and out of my peripheral noticed I was standing outside my locker room. I bit my lip, cursing myself silently.

"Um..." I had no better response. Instead I just pushed open the door to the locker room. I felt PJ follow me in but refused to look at him.

I immediately walked over to the rack on which several different dresses hung. All were suggestions for Athena's look. I forced myself to look them over, taking in their details without really filtering in any information. I was still in a haze of thought over Phil's words. They had sent me into such a tailspin.

I needed to distract myself.

"W-what dress do you think I should wear?" I asked, turning slightly to look at PJ, hoping he didn't notice the quaver in my voice.

He was staring at me, studying me really. I ignored his pensive and worried expression, breezing through the dresses again. Two caught my eye. Distractions. I was trying not to think about Phil and my heart and the pain. But as I focused on trying not to think about them, I was unconsciously bringing them all to my mind's attention.

I sighed heavily, feeling my throat constrict. Tears were ready to fall, to jump free and fall.

I turned, holding up the two dresses. One was had the look of a Greek Goddess costume, the other was a gold, completely sequined dress. "Preference?" I asked, arching an eyebrow, hoping it wasn't obvious I was about to burst into hysterics.

"Paige..." he started slowly, but I ignored him.

"Personally, I like this one. It matches Athena's name more so than-" he cut me off.

"Paige," he took a step closer to me as I pressed my lips together. I couldn't make eye contact anymore. The pressure of tears was building behind my eyes and I blinked furiously to keep them at bay.

"But I think this one match the trophy girl feel that I'm creating on NXT..."

"Paige...Just stop."

"Just pick a dress!" the words erupted from my lips and I turned, immediately wishing I was alone. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore, the dresses fell from my fingertips and I covered my face, hoping to shield myself from PJ.

"Paige." I wished he'd just stop saying my name like that. All soft and gentle and caring. It was making me sick. No one cared. No one had cared about me in months. That's why I pushed everyone away. They were all fake.

He pulled me into his arms, turning me to face him, encircling me in his strong embrace. I melted instantly, letting him hold me as I cried. I pressed the side of my face into his chest. I felt his hand smooth down my back, stilling at the end of my spine before continuing it's slow trail back up. He didn't say anything, but I felt his breath drift through my hair and make my scalp tingle.

I closed my eyes, trying to breathe evenly but I continued to hiccup through my tears. My words were choked down and suffocated by the salty floods pouring from my eyes. I gave up speaking and just let him rock me gently.

"I heard Paige...I heard you and Phil. You don't need to explain anything. It's okay." He murmured, breath caressing my ear before he rested his chin atop my head.

I just nodded, not trusting myself to speak but I felt the shame coloring my face.

I don't know how long we stood there, him holding me, me crying softly. I tried to stop, but the tears kept coming. I hadn't cried in months, since just after my accident. In a single tear I felt relief and anger. So man mixed emotions had been bottled up in side me, and now they threatened to erupt and explode outwards.

A knock on the door disrupted the reverent silence that blanketed us. I tensed slightly and PJ pulled back, we both glanced at the door.

"Miss Ross, you're on in ten," a stagehand called through the door.

I blinked, sighed heavily and then separated myself from PJ. I glanced away from him awkwardly.

He stepped away, not feeling the need to say anything. Instead, he picked up the Greek Goddess dress and he handed it to me. "I think the WWE Universe could use some vintage Athena." He offered me a smile as I took the dress from him.

With my other hand, I tucked the hair behind my ear and looked up at PJ. Our eyes connected and for a brief moment I could imagine this moment to be romantic. But then I realized it was reality and that my broken heart would never work well with another relationship.

"Thank you, PJ," and I was thanking him for a lot more than helping me pick a dress.


	8. New Friends Are Golden

_**The beginning of this chapter is a little rough, I know. I fought my way through lack of motivation and inspiration for this fic once again and now I think i'm on a good track.**_

_**Thank you to everyone who reviewed, your reviews are the extra little push for me to start writing for this fic. **_

_**I only own Paige. Credit for the chapter title goes to Homesick at Spacecamp by Fall Out Boy**_

_**Mahalo & enjoy**_

_**xoxoxo**_

_**Angel**_

_**

* * *

**_

_**Seasons Change But People Don't**_

_**Chapter 8- New Friends Are Golden**_

I imagined things would be awkward, or at least be made awkward after my breakdown in PJ's arms. But instead, we continued on as normal. When I walked up to the gorilla to meet the guys, I expected him to ask me about it, or make me talk about it. To my surprise all he asked was "you okay?" and it wasn't in an extremely personal and direct manner. He was just asking generally how I was.

I smiled, relieved, and told him I was fine. And things were left at that.

Even after that night, PJ continued to treat me normally, like he had before my breakdown. No one ever found out, he never breathed a word of what happened to anyone else. It was admirable, the way he was handling the situation. It was the first time I noticed he was different than other people.

Over the weeks, NXT had progressed of course. The first Pros Poll was rapidly approaching. Honestly, I wasn't looking forward to the elimination. It meant one of the guys would have to return to FCW and leave us all. We had become a tight-knit group, the rookies and I, and some of the Pros.

All eight of the rookies had easily adjusted into the traveling roles of WWE Superstars. Tour buses and cramped rental cars were second homes now. Privacy was something nearly nonexistent. I'd learned to live without privacy years ago. Between the locker room with all the other Divas and sharing cars and buses with the guys, I wasn't shy about much of anything anymore.

But the NXT guys were good about it, they tried to give me as much privacy as possible. They acted like a bunch of kids when I said I was going to change. They'd all turn and face away and I'd start laughing.

Laughing felt good again, so natural. I couldn't remember the last time I had really laughed, where it just escaped me, where I didn't intentionally start it or want to stop it.

These eight guys had all become friends of mine over the few short weeks we spent practically every waking hour of the day together. I got along best with PJ, Stu, Heath and Fred, they all were so easy going most of the time, it was nice to chill with them. But then, the rest of the time Heath and Fred kept things lively with their immature antics and party animal attitudes. PJ was the thoughtful and gentle one and Stu was the upfront, brash one who wasn't afraid to tell you what he was thinking.

We were a mix of personalities, but we worked and being backstage at NXT was always fun. It made work enjoyable, after I'd been dreading it for months.

But the Rookies weren't the only friends that I got to see and hang out with. Over the weeks I had run into a lot of my friends from before my injury. I saw Randy again, briefly in a group setting, and we didn't talk about John.

I hadn't spoken to John. At all. I hadn't even seen him. I made it habit to go out of my way to avoid him. He was the last person on Earth that I wanted to speak to. It may have been a year, but everything was still fresh in my mind—the pain, the betrayal. Everything.

I just couldn't let that go.

I stretched my arms above my head, walking down the halls of the arena. It was a Monday night, which meant RAW was live and the Rookies were backstage just in case their Pros had them accompany them ringside. If the Rookies were required to be backstage, that meant I was as well.

"Paige! Hey!"

I turned suddenly and forced a smile onto my face as Jillian approached me looking like she had just come from hair and make up.

"Hi," I said, trying to keep up my smile. Why did she have to show up? I was planning to go to catering to meet PJ, Stu and the rest of the boys, but now it looked like I was going to be held up.

"What're you up to? I didn't think you'd be at RAW," she said as she stopped in front of me.

I shrugged, "they told me to show up, so I did. I was actually just heading to grab my stuff and head back to the hotel. They really don't need me here, I'm bored out of my mind."

"Well, if you're bored you should come to the Divas locker room and catch up with everyone else. I'm sure they'd love to see you. Plus, don't you want to show off to Barbie how well you're doing, just to rub it in?" Jillian raised a blond brow at me.

The thought of Barbie made me sick.

I sent Jillian an uneasy smile, "I'd rather not be anywhere near her, actually."

Jillian's face dropped, "oh, yeah, I get it. Everyone takes it differently." We both glanced away from each other awkwardly. It made me miss the way we used to be. We'd confide everything in each other as best friends. Now we couldn't even get over the mountain created by one awkward sentence.

I wanted to fix it suddenly, I wanted to start conversation and make things better.

I opened my mouth to say something to soothe the awkwardness when suddenly a bright shirt caught my eye. I froze, the words choking in my throat and dying on my lips.

"I have to go," I said. She looked taken aback and I instantly felt horrible again.

I frowned and touched her arm, "I'll call you and we can get together sometime this week for coffee, okay?"

She smiled again and nodded, "sounds good."

I started walking away quickly, cursing the fact that in order to get to catering I would have to walk past _him_.

Footsteps stopped and the squeak of rubber turning on tile signaled to me that he had seen me as I tried to sneak past.

"Paige?"

The shock and wonder in his voice made my fists clench as I ducked my head and continued walking. There was no doubt he knew I was back, but did he seriously think he would never see me again. Or did seeing me randomly just come as a shock, did he expect our first meeting to be planned or something.

I shook the thoughts from my mind as I turned the corner and broke out into a brisker pace.

I only slowed down when I realized there were no footsteps following me.

Exhaling, I entered catering, spotting the boys instantly.

"You okay?" PJ asked, placing an arm around me when I neared the table they were at.

I smiled stiffly and nodded before sitting down next to Stu, who sent me a concerned look. I ignored both men and smiled at the others, joining in on their conversation about the following night, the first Pros Poll.

"You guys ready?" I asked as I walked into the interview area of the set.

The Rookies, accompanied by their Pros, nodded as they smiled nervously. The eliminations weren't scripted, the Pros opinions were real. Though matches and match determination was still choreographed just like any other bout on RAW.

"You look...hot," Fred commented and I chuckled slightly. I spun in front of the guys, showing off my temptingly low cut swoop neckline dress that was completely covered in sequins and glitter. The lowest point of the neckline actually almost went down to my navel, but was still a few inches above. Added to that, it was extremely short.

Jay whistled as I stopped my twirl, balancing perfectly in my glittered high-heeled gladiator sandals.

"I don't know if you guys are aware, but Paige is the self-professed Queen of Heels." Jay said with a smirk.

"The shoes," I added with a grin.

"I'm surprised she hasn't broken an ankle yet," my Canadian friend said as he placed his arm around my shoulders.

"Whoever is ranked number one tonight is getting one hell of a prize," Mike commented.

I shot him a glare, "not a possession boys. Remember, I'm going to manage them. And Mike, I have a lot more experience in this business than you."

The self-proclaimed Chick Magnet glowered at me before shaking his head. "Don't listen to her Bryan, she doesn't know what she's talking about."

"Hell, Bryan has more experience than you do," I said. It was all in good fun, the teasing. We had always done this, Mike and I, before I broke my neck.

My face fell as I thought of it and I subconsciously rubbed my neck. A hand on the small of my back shocked me out of my remembrance and I turned to see PJ standing next to me. He gave me a small smile. I couldn't help but smile back.

"You okay?"

"You always seem to be asking me that." I said softly, dropping my hand from my neck. I nodded after a moment, deciding to answer him, "I'm...okay."

"Things will get better Paige, I promise."

But they wouldn't be when I could feel Phil's gaze burning into me like a brand. I smiled falsely, to get PJ to let it go and turn to someone else and start a conversation.

"You are on in five," a stage hand informed us before disappearing.

I looked at the guys, it was time for the first Pros Poll.


	9. Now Versus Then

_**Again, here's another update. I'm getting into the hange of writing this fic and I really enjoy writing Paige.**_

_**Thank you to everyone who reviewed. Like I've said before, your reviews are the extra motivation that's give me a push to update and write faster. **_

_**I only own Paige. Credit for the chapter title goes to Hum Hallelujah by Fall Out Boy.**_

_**Mahalo & enjoy**_

_**xoxoxo**_

_**Angel**_

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't**_

_**Chapter 9- It's All A Game of This or That; Now Versus Then**_

_[On Screen]_

_The NXT music played as Athena walked out with her arm through Matt Striker's. She waved tot he fans with a large smile as the host of NXT led her down the ramp. He motioned for her to go up the steps first. She smiled and walked up the steps carefully in her tall heels. She stopped on the second step and lifted her other leg, in true Athena fashion, and placed her heeled foot on the ring apron, highlighting her long, tanned and toned legs. _

_All the guys in the audience whistled as Athena continued onto the apron and paused, waiting as Matt held the ropes open for her. She slid into the ring and took the offered microphone as Matt did the._

_"Welcome to NXT!" She announced and the crowd went wild again. _

_"Tonight is the first Pros Poll," Matt Striker announced. _

_Athena nodded, "so let's start this show off right. Can I have the Rookies come down to the ring please."_

_The camera turned to the entrance ramp, panning over the Pros seated on the stage before the NXT music started and the Rookies walked out one by one. _

_Athena was clapping as they filed down the ramp and stood in one long line of eight in the middle of the ring. _

_The brunette turned to Matt, patting his arm, "you take over," she said before sauntering over to one of the ring corners. She grinned, tucking her microphone in her arm and turning so her back was to the turnbuckle. She wedged the bottom rope between her heel and hoisted herself up onto the top turnbuckle and crossed her legs. She placed her microphone in her lap and flicked her hair over her shoulder as Matt went on with explaining things. _

_As he ended Athena broke in, "aren't you forgetting something Matt?"_

_The man looked at her, eyebrows furrowing, he had already explained how whoever was ranked number one would receive Athena's service as their manager. He shrugged, signaling he didn't know what she was saying._

_"Well, I have good news for you guys," she said, motioning to the Rookies. "This week, there will be no elimination, but we're still going to see the rankings."_

_The Rookies reacted, looking relieved only in the slightest bit before they tensed up again as Matt said the poll results would be revealed. _

_Athena turned her head to the Titantron, where the rankings were being shown._

_8. Darren Young_

_7. Michael Tarver_

_6. Skip Sheffield_

_5. David Otunga_

_4. Heath Slater_

_3. Justin Gabriel_

_2. Wade Barrett_

_1. Daniel Bryan_

_The fans went crazy as Daniel was announced as number one. Athena clapped enthusiastically with a smile. Over the weeks from the backstage clips she had been shown giving Daniel some mercy, since he received no sympathy from his pro. She slipped off the turnbuckle as Matt went to talk to Darren, who had ranked in at eighth place. _

_Athena reached out and grabbed Daniel's hand, pulling him forward from the row of Rookies and hugging him just before Matt came over to speak to him. As Matt asked him a question Athena moved to Daniel's side, standing extremely close and placing one hand on his shoulder. _

_Once Matt was done speaking to Daniel and moved on to speak to the Rookies as a whole, Athena hugged him again, before pushing him back into line with the Rookies. She smirked at him as he looked back at her accusingly. _

_She just winked at Daniel before turning to Matt. _

_"So, while the Rookies go get ready for the battle royal, I'd like to get your opinion on things," Matt said._

_Paige nodded as she lifted her microphone to her lips, "sounds good."_

_"Are you happy with the results of the poll?" _

_" I think the Pros got it pretty spot on. When you look at the backgrounds of all the wrestlers, Daniel does have the most experience, and his technique is great. I can't help but root for him, because he's the underdog," she answered._

_"And he's a submission wrestler, like you."_

_"True, he is, which is another reason why he deserves to be at the number one spot. He has his own niche in the ring. Like, take for instance, Justin Gabriel. He has one as well, he's a high flier, that's his thing. And Wade Barrett, he's got the power, he's a grappler. That's why those three are at the top."_

_"What about the others? Do you think they didn't rank as high because they don't have that 'niche' as you put it?"_

_"I think they have their own style, but it's not as prominent. I think Heath Slater was ranked number four because he is good in the ring, but his personality shows. He's funny and confident and I think the WWE Universe feels that. And then there's David Otunga, he does have that star quality, and he's cocky, which transfers through to when he's in the ring, he's confident in his abilities, even when they're not up to par with the other Rookies." _

_"And the bottom three?"_

_"Personally, I think Darren's been too distracted with his Pro to be able to focus on the actual competition. If he stops trying to please CM Punk, or get distracted by him, he could do a great deal better. As for Michael and Skip, I think they're technique and drive is just being overshadowed by the others."_

_"Last question, are you happy about being Daniel Bryan's manager for the next few weeks until the next Pros Poll?" _

_"I'm extremely happy, Daniel and I have kinda become friends and I'm proud of him for being ranked number one. He has a lot of experience and talent, but I think there's still a few things I can teach him that would give him that extra edge that will keep him on top." _

_"Thank you Athena, I'll see you later tonight then."_

_With a beaming smile and a nod, Athena exited the ring and walked up the ramp._

_[Off Screen]_

Once I was backstage I instantly hugged Bryan again.

"Congratulations," I said before pulling back. "You know they're going to give us hell story-line wise now."

He nodded, "I wouldn't be surprise if they brought back your Sex Kitten era."

"Dear Lord know, and correction, it was called the 'Hot Mama' run," I said, pushing his chest. "Get it right Danielson, you should know this stuff, I am your new manager and Pro."

The guys laughed and I smiled, I couldn't be happier with Bryan being at the number one spot. I didn't really care which of the guys I was with, but I knew because Bryan and I had known each other for so long that we would mesh well on screen as well.

"You guys should go get ready for your battle royal, I am going to go get something to eat, I'm starving," I began to walk away before stopping and retreated backwards, "oh and we should go out after the show to celebrate," I said before actually leaving.

I walked down the hall toward catering, my heels clicking on the solid flooring, humming to myself like I usually do when I'm walking alone. I've always been somewhat musical, I'm know pro and I know my voice isn't at all outstanding, but I like to sing.

"How long are we going to act like this?"

I stuttered in my strides at the voice.

"Phil, not tonight."

"Paige," the desperation in his voice made my heart clench.

I felt his fingers lock around mine and he turned me around. He stepped closer to me, "I know I fucked up Paige. I want to make things right, I want us to...try again."

My eyebrows furrowed, "try again? Are you fucking with me?" I guffawed.

"I never got a second chance Paige."

"You don't deserve one Phil. People don't change."

His eyes searched mine, "then why do I feel like you've changed so much." He ran a hand through his hair, "I feel like...you're not the same Paige."

I stared at him and I wasn't sure of myself anymore. "This is how I've always been."

His eyes locked with mine again and he shook his head, "I don't believe that."

Then all of a sudden my back was pressed against the wall and Phil's lips were on mine. My first reaction was to melt into him, I was so tempted to fall back into the normalcy of it. I'd been with him for so long, that reverting back to those emotions was just so easy.

After several moments of my personal conflict pounding inside my ribcage, I felt my palms flatten against his chest as something clicked in my head. _Once a cheater, always a cheater._

It was wrong, and I wouldn't play into his game.

"Stop," I protested, trying to push him away.

He only become more insistent, and when I tried to push him away he gripped both of my wrists in his hand.

"Phil, get off me," I growled.

He ignored me and I was a second away from biting down hard on his lip when suddenly he was ripped away.

Phil was across the hall, blocked by the tall build of Stu, who was hovering over him, body tense.

"She said, to get off her. Now I suggest you leave." His tone was curt and punctuated by his accent.

Someone was standing beside me, but I didn't actually notice them until a warm hand landed on my shoulder.

"Paige, I asked if you were okay?"

I turned to look at PJ. I blinked before nodding, "I'm...I don't know." I felt the tears prick my eyes, and I wondered why I felt okay with crying in front of PJ. I hated crying in front of anyone. None of my coworkers had ever seen me cry. Until PJ.

"It's okay Paige, It's alright that you don't know." He pulled me to him, resting a warm hand on my back as I rested my face in the crook of his neck.

"PJ," I heard Stu's voice but I didn't lift my head. I drowned out their conversation with my thoughts of how badly things had gone wrong.

Before I broke my neck, my life was great. The career of my dreams, I was champion for a fifth time and was one of the biggest Diva names in WWE history. I had friends who I thought would be there for me through everything, we were always laughing, always happy. I helped everyone fix there problems because I didn't have any. I had the perfect boyfriend, who I was certain would be proposing soon after our two year long relationship, we were planning on moving in together on our next simultaneous break from traveling. I was happy and lucky and just living, taking advantage of every opportunity I could.

Stabbing people in the back to get ahead, acting like I was little miss perfect when in reality I was a girl who had learned to survive on her own and would rather be independent than surrounded by people who wanted to help. I'd been alone for so long, that I didn't know how to treat people.

And then karma kicked me in the ass, and snapped my neck.

It was an accident, caused by stupidity and lack of communication—that's what everyone told me.

But it was really the world coming full circle and getting back at me, telling me that I couldn't hide who I really was. Anti-social, lonely, scarred, abandoned, I couldn't run away from my 16 year old self, I would always be that little girl, striving on her own to reach her dreams.

It's an inspiring story, I'm sure, but it has it's faults that are usually left out for sake of a story with a likeable main character.

After my injury, I was alone again and I hated everyone for leaving me that way, even though it was partially my own fault. No one fought me, they believed I knew what I was doing, that I knew what was best for me.

Bull shit. I don't even know what's good for me anymore.

Is Phil good for me, or should I completely let him go?

You can't erase feeling like love, betrayal, loss. You can only hope that over time they lessen and fade, that thing layer after layer of new skin grows over the wound until all that's left is a discolored scar.

I wasn't so sure if I could move on anymore. I didn't think I could change from that scared, little sixteen year old who was told by her parents to get the fuck out of their life because she didn't comply to their wishes. Rebel child, that's me.

I felt PJ rub my shoulder and tell me we needed to be back in the gorilla for the show. I nodded, glad I hadn't shed any tears. I stepped back and looked up at the two men, sending them a reassuring smile, "I'm good now. Let's go."

Would I ever get back to good, when all I'd ever felt was bad?


	10. From Drinks at the Club to the Bar

_**So, since we all know i'm a horrible, horrible person who has a life that seriously kicks my own ass we will skip the apologies and just get to the posting.**_

_**I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed before we move alone. I appreciate the love so, so much. It's what keeps me writing when I really just don't want to anymore...**_

_**Other than that, all I own is Paige..and the plot..that is all. **_

_**Hope you guys enjoy this. Mahalo.**_

_**xoxoxo**_

_**Angel**_

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't**_

_**Chapter 10- To Drinks at the Club to the Bar**_

Stu and PJ broke away from Paige once they had stepped into the club, and she had flitted toward the bar, intent on drinking away her worries. On the drive from the arena to the decided partying location she had sidestepped questions like "how are you feeling?" or "are you okay?" She had no intention to worry anyone else about her emotional state, she would take care of it herself.

And take care of it she tried to as she ordered a Three Wise Men and downed the concoction in a scotch glass.

While Paige was preoccupied, Stu and PJ joined Jay and Matt, who were in deep conversation, reminiscing something from 'back in the day.'

"Hello gentlemen," Stu greeted in his British accent, pulling up a seat.

Jay nodded to him before his eyes scanned the club, landing on Paige who stood at the bar with Heath and Fred, ordering a round of shots.

"Something happened," Jay guessed, looking at PJ and Stu, who both shifted uncomfortably.

"How did you know?" PJ asked.

"She's drinking," Matt said, as if it were the most obvious answer ever.

"And that is significant because...?" Stu asked.

"Paige isn't really a drinker, I haven't seen her get smashed since before she started dating Phil. Which means it would be over three years," Matt explained and Jay nodded.

"If she's suddenly taking hard liquor like that something must have happened." Jay said.

"Phil," PJ said.

"Should've known," Matt muttered. "What did he do this time?"

"More like what hasn't he done," Jay scoffed, taking a swig of beer, seeming to need some kind of distraction.

"You weren't even here for the half of it," Matt said, glancing at the blond man.

"Don't remind me," Jay muttered, looking away pointedly, leaving Matt to explain things.

Matt turned back to Stu and PJ who looked lost.

"Do you two know the story?" he asked.

PJ shook his head, "no, I...tried to get Paige to explain things. But she wouldn't say a thing."

Matt nodded, staring at his beer pensively. "I don't blame her for not wanting to tell people." Matt sighed before looking up at the two men and continuing. "To get the story, you have to understand the beginning. Paige and Punk, they were the greatest of couples. Sometimes it was disgusting how in love they were. They were set up on a date by a few of the Divas, who thought it'd be a god idea since neither of them had been in a relationship in a while. It worked out really well, obviously, they fell in love, yadda yadda, all that great stuff.

"They were together for two years, when things went downhill. Paige was drafted to Smackdown while Punk was kept on RAW, so they were separated quite a bit. But they did plan on moving in together after buying a new house. Sometime during their brand separation, Punk cheated on Paige with another Diva." He paused, taking in the shocked expressions on PJ and Stu's faces.

"It was Barbie, if you're wondering," Jay added.

Matt rolled his eyes, "anyways, Paige didn't know. No one did, things went on perfectly for a few weeks until the day that Paige flew in to surprise Punk. Instead of finding him in the locker room, she found Barbie, who then proceeded to rub it in her face that she slept with Punk. Which led to a blow up fight backstage between Punk and Paige and then she was shepherded off to the gorilla because she had to be on screen. That's when she broke her neck."

There was silence as the men tried to digest this information.

"...my god," PJ muttered, his eyes searching the room for Paige, locating her dancing in between Heath and Fred in a very provocative manner that sparked a tiny flame of envy and a larger flame of protectiveness in his chest. He found it strange that he was so attached to this woman when he barely knew her, and only found things out about her through other people and silent observations.

"We don't know if she's really recovered, or moved on. I'm sure you two know by now that no one went after her when she left to recover," Matt said, his voice suddenly hollow, and guilty sounding.

"I still don't understand that at all," Stu muttered, "why would no one try to help her out, even a little, or give her a ring. If you're her close friends, then why didn't anyone _do_ anything?"

"Paige is independent, always has been. Becoming her close friends, which we are, isn't easy to do, okay? She's got this tough force field you have to get through, and it takes years to do that." Jay said defensively.

"So when she told us to leave her the fuck alone, we did, no questions asked. We all knew she could take care of herself," Matt said.

"Well, obviously there were some mis-communications there because I wouldn't say she's been taking fantastic care of herself, not emotionally at least," PJ said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Matt stared at his NXT Rookie, "you think you know Paige, but you probably don't even have a clue about her. There are still a million mysteries that I don't know, she doesn't tell people things like that. She'll be there for the fun times, make the small talk, crack the jokes, lay out a humorous line or two, but never once did you ever catch her having a serious heart-to-heart with anyone."

"I think the only people she did that with were Punk...and maybe John," Jay shrugged, he'd been filled in on everyone known about the situation when he had returned to the company not long after she had left. He had insisted on trying to contact her, but Punk himself had told him to not waste his breath and time. It had never settled well with Jay, but if she told Punk so, and they were her words, he would abide by them. He didn't want to be the one to set Paige off.

"John?" Stu asked, the name was too common in the company. It could've been one of several options, or a John not even in the WWE.

He didn't receive an answer though for as soon as the question left him, Paige was stumbling up to their table. He didn't know if it was possible to get that drunk, that fast, but Paige sure was.

"Fuck," he heard Jay mutter under his breath.

"PJ, dance with me!" Paige said, her fingers clutching PJ's arm as a tipsy grin plastered itself on her red, red lips.

PJ stared at her for a moment before nodding his consent and glancing at Stu. He was determined to get some kind of answers out of her, maybe he had better chances when she was drunk.

He let Paige lead him onto the dance floor, pausing only momentarily to turn so her back was facing him and then her body was sliding sensuously against his in time with the throbbing base of the current song. PJ couldn't help the thrill that went up and down his spine at the contact, it would be the response of any man dancing with one of the sexiest women on television. It didn't help that he found himself insanely attracted to Paige—baggage and mystery included.

They danced through the faster songs, her hands flitting along his body and her own as they danced. It was erotic and seemingly the custom of everyone on the dance floor, but PJ was captivated by her and momentarily forgot his mission.

Fate seemed to be on his side for the night—or at least the DJ was—as a slow song swung into play. Some couples left for drinks or to catch their collective breaths, but PJ turned Paige around to face his and slipped his hands down around her waist. She grinned at him and locked her fingers behind his neck.

"So, are you enjoying yourself?" he asked. They both knew it was rhetorical and stupid question but she just shook her head, enough of a positive answer, all she could really muster in her state of exhaustion, recovery, and drunkenness.

"Are _you_ enjoying yourself?" she asked before giggling at the double standard in the statement, giving notice to just how dirty her thoughts could be at times. PJ stared at her, starting to see the intricacies her web. They had all been carefully constructed so complexity did not cross another, but they all started and ended at the same points and eventually all crossed in one central middle. If he could hit that one spot, then maybe he could crack open the tough force field Jay had spoken of earlier.

"I'm enjoying myself just fine," he replied with a smirk and she rolled her eyes as they swayed to the softer beats of the music, blending in with the other couples.

PJ cleared his throat before meeting her gray-blue eyes, "Matt told me about you..and Punk. What he did, and all that."

She tensed up instantly at the mention of Punk's name. "I came here to forget about him and what he did. Let's not talk about that."

"I think you need to talk to someone about it," he pressed, hoping his luck didn't snap.

Her eyes flashed in the dimly lit club, "you have no idea what happened, talking to you or anyone else would not help. It's not even an issue. I like you because we don't have to talk about things like that. That's all that Matt and Jay want to talk about and I'm sick of it all! I don't want to talk about it!"

PJ was silent, he didn't have a response, so they finished the slow dance and they went their separate ways. PJ retreated to the tables and Paige slithered up to the bar, downing a few more shots, not even casting a glance at the boys.

Stu met the South African's eyes as the man returned.

"Well that didn't go as smoothly as I thought it would," PJ muttered as she sat down and accepted the beer Stu offered him.

"You get used to it," Jay muttered, taking the last swig of his beer before setting down the bottle and staring at it sourly. "I don't understand why people are so confusing, or frustrating, and I don't understand why some people put up with it, and other..." he trailed off.

"Others don't give a shit," Matt finished for him.

Stu could see that Paige's mannerisms and character were wearing thin on the two men who he had thought were her closest of friends. It seemed that not everything should be taken and face and surface value when it was connected to Paige. There was always more of a depth to everything she did, or the relationships she made.

He didn't know the first things about her, but he was a puzzle man, and she was the one puzzle no one could seem to figure out yet. He believed he could do it, he could crack her and figure her out. It was proving to be harder than most people, but he was going to try.

"Oh, looks like someone needs to be damage control for the night," Matt said, his hand slowly motioning over to the side of the dance floor.

PJ and Stu glanced over, watching as Paige, who was being supported by both Heath and Fred, leaned over, grabbing the back of Heath's neck and planted a steamy kiss right on his mouth. The West Virginia native was shocked a minute, he hadn't been expecting the motion but quickly fell into the expected reciprocation.

Stu's large hand clamped down on Paige's should and her lips broke from Heath's. She turned to Stu, a guilty smile twisting her lips, the color of her gloss was fading, leaving them with a slightly cracked sheen from being worn all night without reapplication. "You're coming with me Dearie." He told her, not waiting for a response, he began steering her toward the door by the shoulder.

He could tell she wanted to struggle but the alcohol was slowing her body down. Her brain was foggy and wanted to tell her to fight against him and go back to what she had been doing but instead her limbs just flailed in an overload of instructions.

Stu kept hold of her as he walked them to the curb and hailed a cab. He got her inside the vehicle and gave the driver the address before there was complete silence in the backseat. The cab driver seemed to ignore them, listening to the talk radio show he had turned up once he realized there would be only silence on this drive.

The Brit passed subtle glances at her out of the corner of his vision. He didn't welcome or enjoy the silence, but he couldn't imagine what he should say in this situation. There was a burning frustration in him, he couldn't figure out how someone who was thought to be so strong and steel-willed could be taken down to the trembling and drunk woman beside him.

He saw the glossy look in her gray-blue eyes and knew the tears were just a breath away.

"Paige," he said her name softly, an exhalation. He reached a hand out but she shrugged away, looking out the window and through her reflection he saw the tears begin to fall.

Again he was at a loss of knowledge at what to do. But he didn't have time to ponder his options because Paige let out a small hiccup before she turned to look at him.

"Do you think I'm stupid?" she asked.

Stu blinked, he hadn't expected her to say something like that. It caught him off guard and left him without a quick answer, which proved to be a sting to Paige. She began to turn her face away when he recovered himself.

"No Paige, I don't. Stupid is not something I would associate with you," he shook his head slightly.

Now she stared at him, "but after everything I did tonight, and everything I've done in my life, I think I'm the biggest fuck up idiot the world's ever seen. I gave up everything for a career which I no longer feel comfortable in, I no longer enjoy. I wasted it all...gave it all away, for what?"

"That's what taking risks is about, Paige. You follow your heart, sometimes it doesn't work out like you hoped it would, but you learn from that. You have learned from what you did wrong, haven't you?" The words were gentle.

Paige glanced away and gave a shallow, short nod. "I guess."

"Then it wasn't all for nothing." He let out a breath, "and please don't ever call yourself a fuck up idiot ever again. Paige, that is not you, even I know that."

She turned her body, completely facing him. "Thank you," she murmured, her eyes falling and that's when Stu realized how close they actually were in that small cab. He suddenly wished the hotel wasn't so far from the club they had been at.

He saw it happening, as if in slow motion. Paige's eyelids fluttered closed, she licked her lips and leaned forward. She wanted to kiss him, and damn it all, he wanted to kiss her. But not like this, not when she was drunk and not in a cab.

He gripped her upper arm in his hand, to stop her and hold her away from him.

She opened her eyes and he saw the embarrassed blush crawl onto her cheeks.

He shook his head slightly, "not here, not now." But he settled his arm around her and she leaned into his side, resting the side of her head on his shoulder.

She drifted off into sleep and Wade watched the passing lights of the city as the taxi continued on its route to their hotel.

Stu knew she wasn't stupid. She seemed confused and lost in her life that she once had so much control over. Now she was drowning in all of her emotions and regrets and failures. Her friends would be her life rafts if they continued to float. But he was beginning to see the wholes and the tears and he was wondering if they were at least partially reparable.

_**End Part I: Don't Pretend You'd Ever Forget About Me**_


	11. Am I More Than You Bargained For Yet?

_**I'm sorry for the lateness. My reasons are on my profile if you care.**_

_**If you really just want to read this chapter, then continue on, the next few lines is just the customary stuff.**_

_**Thank you for the reviews. I only own Paige.**_

_**Mahalo & enjoy!**_

_**xoxoxo**_

_**Angel**_

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't **_

_**Part II: We Don't Fight Fair**_

_**Chapter 11- Am I More Than You Bargained For Yet?**_

"Is she okay?"

Stu blew out a breath as he leaned his back against the wall.

PJ watched him with a measured look, he already knew the answer wouldn't be an extremely up-sided one, but he still had to ask.

"Very hung over, but other than that, she seems to be in one piece again." Stu finally answered and PJ only nodded in reply.

They didn't have much more to say on the issue, but what _could _be said, the things they had both heard and witnessed last night had changed the viewpoints on everything. Who was really at fault for Paige's anger and depression? Was it herself, Punk, or her friends? Or none of the above. No one seemed to know enough about her to get a correct answer.

"Did she...say anything to you about...anything?" There were so many vague, open spots in that question that PJ felt a little stupid for asking.

"She called herself a 'fuck up idiot'— her words exactly, and asked me if I thought she was stupid."

"You told her she wasn't, right?"

Stu looked at PJ, slightly offended, "of course! I talked her out of it, don't worry." He sighed, "she's a complex little thing, I'll give her that."

PJ smirked in agreement, he was glad to hear he wasn't the only one finding Paige a hard case to crack.

The hotel room door opened to reveal a disheveled Paige, her fingers raking vainly through her knotted and matted hair. "Why are you guys just standing out here?" Her voice cracked and she winced at the off-key sound and then cleared her throat.

Her fingers gave up on her hair and instead pressed on her temple. She rolled her eyes as both men didn't answer. "Men are so useless, don't even have any meds." She muttered starting to walk down the hall, pocketing her cell.

PJ and Stu shared confused glances before following her.

"This is why women carry purses, to put useful shit in them so if you're ever hung over, sick, or whatever you are taken care of. Guys don't even carry that kind of stuff in their luggage," she ranted under her breath, but loud enough for both men to hear. She had knocked on a door and it opened as she spoke.

"Glad to know you're back to normal, girly," the blond on the other side of the door said, a wide, white-toothed smile on her face.

Paige instantly smiled, despite her growing headache. "Good morning Jilly! I was hoping I could get some Tylenol or something for my headache. Got anything for me?" Paige arched an eyebrow.

"Of course, give me a sec," Jillian turned to go back into her room but froze and instead leaned through the doorway. "Who are these two gentlemen?"

Paige turned, "PJ and Stu, both NXT Rookies. Guys, meet Jillian Fletcher, aka Jillian Hall."

Jillian gave the boys a once over before looking back at Paige, the two shared a look and Stu immediately knew that these two women were close.

That fact provided some relief for Stu. Paige did have other friends, women friends who she could talk to. She wasn't as alone as he originally thought.

The blond then went back into her room, returning seconds later with a bottle of pills. Before she handed it to Paige, she stopped and fixed the brunette woman with a look. "If you're this hungover, _something _must've happened. So...what?" The blond crossed her arms, waiting for an answer.

Stu and PJ held their respective breaths, wondering if Paige would lie, or spill her guts to the blond.

"Phil happened." And then, not so covertly, she shrugged her shoulders and tilted her head towards the boys.

Jillian gave a nod of understanding, "we'll talk about it over lunch, okay? I'll call up Beth and the three of us can have that get-together we've all been promising. Then you can tell us _everything_." The blond cast a glance at PJ and Stu before smiling at her friend, dropping the Tylenol bottle in her palm and then shutting the door.

PJ stared at the door and then at Paige, women talked in some sort of strange code with special signals that meant things he couldn't even begin to comprehend. So instead of trying to figure out what the hell the two women had just been talking about her turned and followed Paige as she walked back to her own hotel room.

-x-o-X-o-x-

I stopped in front of my room door and turned to look at the two men following me.

"You guys can go now, I'll be fine with some water and this," I said, emphatically shaking the Tylenol bottle.

They didn't budge.

I sighed and opened the door, going inside and not waiting for them, hoping the door would shut so fast that they would be locked out. Stu caught the door and followed me in, PJ on his heels.

"We're not leaving until we talk." Stu said, crossing his arms, watching me as I took a water bottle from the room's mini fridge and cracked it open.

I tossed the Tylenol in my mouth and swallowed it with a gulp of water, raising my eyebrows at the two men. I took a breath before asking, "about what?"

Stu gave an exasperated sigh and set his level gaze on me, "you know what Paige—last night. That is not the proper way to handle things, trust me. Did getting drunk off your ass fix anything?"

I stared back at him blankly, I was good at putting up that empty expression. I really just wanted them to leave me alone so I could sort out things for myself. I didn't want to hear them lecture me, or shove their opinions down my throat, all that condescension would just add to my hell of a headache.

"Being void of emotion isn't going to help either," PJ's words were softer than Stu's as he walked over and sat down next to me on the edge of my bed.

I remembered crying in front of him, in the hall, after Phil cornered and kissed me. I remembered feeling so torn between my past and my present. I felt like a child again, naïve to an extent yet completely street smart. I knew the world was a crap place, that life wasn't fair, yet I tried to protect others from ever knowing that truth.

Especially the ugly truth about myself.

"Talk to us Paige," PJ's voice was still a soft lull, but pleading, a desperate rasp in his words. Stu pulled the desk chair up across from us and rested his elbows on his knees. I shied away from PJ's hand when he reached out to me. I picked my legs up onto the bed, pressing my back to the headboard and pulled my knees to my chest, clasping my arms around them. It was a protective stance, like I was trying to block them out and fold in on myself, which is what I wished they would let me do.

I was silent for a few minute, hoping that maybe,_ just maybe_, they would see I wasn't going to budge and leave. But they stayed and waited, so I knew I would have to say something.

The part that was killing me was that I _wanted _to spill my guts to them. Something about these two men made me feel comfortable. Like how I used to feel with Phil.

"I was scared." I whispered.

PJ's head shot up and his eyes instantly locked onto me, simultaneously with Stu's. They stayed silent, their silence urging me to continue.

"I-I didn't think it would be so easy to just...fall back into him. Being around him is so hard," I squeezed my eyes shut, "I thought I was over it, but...I'm not. I thought I was so lucky for having Phil." I shook my head, tilting my chin down to hide my face in the chasm between my thighs and my chest. I felt a tear hit my leg and slide down, leaving a damp trail on my jeans. But that was the only tear that escaped me.

I straightened out my legs and shook my head. "But i'll be fine now, I'm moving on. I know now that I can't trust Phil. Once a cheater, always a cheater," I muttered the last part under my breath.

We were all silent. I watched PJ's face, noting his furrowed bros and the way he was staring at the blanket without really seeing it. He was thinking bout something.

Stu's shoulders were tense, his eyes closed, nostrils flaring as he exhaled slowly. Anger and tension was strung throughout his body language. Even a blind person would be able to tell that he was upset.

"You don't need to worry about Phil anymore. We'll make sure he stays far away," Stu said, opening his eyes to meet my gaze.

PJ snapped out of his thoughts and looked at me as well, I shifted my gaze to look at him.

"Yeah, consider us your body guards."

Some feminist part of me should have screamed that it was insane for me to have body guards, that I was perfectly capable of staying away from Phil myself. But in all honestly, the smile that curved my lips was an honest. It would be nice to have someone else looking out for me rather than having to do it on my own.

"Thank you, for everything. For stopping Phil," I looked at PJ then shifted my eyes back to Stu, "and for last night. I do appreciate it." I swallowed and then forced another, happier smile onto my lips, "but now I need to get ready for my lunch with Jillian and Beth. I'll see you guys later, I promise."

The guys stood and began moving to the door. Stu opened it and was about to step out into the hall when suddenly PJ turned to me.

"I just have one question, Paige, before we go."

My eyebrows furrowed, but I waited for him to ask.

"Why did you become a wrestler, why did you join the WWE?"

I didn't hesitate, "I've always wanted to travel—far, far away from home."

He smiled slightly, like he hadn't expected my answer but approved of it, "then remember that and don't forget it. Let it drive you to continue on."

And with that the two men were gone and I was left alone in my room.

-x-o-X-o-x-

Jillian and Beth were already sitting at the table, waiting for me. I smiled as I approached them and their conversation stopped.

"Paige!" Jillian stood immediately and hugged me. Beth did the same before we all sat down together.

"So, Jillian told me some kind of drama went down with you and Phil, but she couldn't tell me what," Beth's eyebrows were furrowed in confusion.

"That's because Paige hadn't told me any details," the other blond said before they both looked to me.

I shook my head, "I was backstage after the NXT segment I had and I was walking alone and Phil just suddenly came out of nowhere. He tried to talk to me-" Jillian cut me off.

"What did he say?"

I knew I couldn't escape this conversation by sparing details, I would have to tell the honest story.

"He wanted to...get back together," I made a face as the words left my mouth.

The waitress came by, asking me if I wanted something to drink. I ordered a Sprite and then the girls urged me onward with my story.

"So what did you say?" Beth asked, resting her elbows on the table.

"I told him he didn't deserve one. And then...and then he kissed me."

Both women were floored and they stared at me with wide eyes, speechless.

"I tried to push him off me, but I mean...he's almost twice my size, I couldn't do much. I was about to do something drastic when suddenly he was thrown off of me." I continued.

"By who?" They asked simultaneously.

The waitress showed up again, asking for our orders. My two blond friends looked annoyed but gave the waitress their orders and then waited patiently as I did so.

Once the waitress was out of hearing range they both looked back at me and Beth asked again, "by who?"

"Stu," I answered.

"The NXT guy?" Jillian asked.

"Jericho's Rookie?" Beth asked.

I nodded, "yeah, and PJ."

"Hardy's Rookie?" Beth asked.

I nodded again, "yeah, Stu threatened him while PJ made sure I was alright."

"Were you alright?" Jillian asked.

I shrugged, "I just broke down emotionally, started crying right in front of them. In hindsight, it's kind of embarrassing."

"You cried in front of them?" Beth sounded shocked, "I've known you for years and I don't think I've ever seen you cry."

"Not true, she cried when Eddie died, and..." she trailed off.

"I don't cry a lot, I know. I hate crying." I said, trying to steer her away from the depressing thought of dead co-workers.

"But you cried _last night _in front of two guys you've only known for a few weeks," Beth said, stressing certain words to get her point across.

"Well, it's not like they're strangers, we're friends." I said, hating the defensive tone in my face.

"Dear god, please tell me you didn't do what i'm thinking you did." Jillian said, rubbing her temples.

"And now i'm lost," Beth said.

"Paige showed up this morning to get some Tylenol because she was hungover. She was barely dressed, hair was horrible," I sent her a small glared, "and the two Rookies-" I interrupted.

"They have names," I said flatly.

"Fine, PJ and Stu were with her, not looking anymore put together than she was." Jillian finished.

Beth looked from Jillian to me. "You _didn't."_

My eyebrows furrowed and I shook my head, "I have no idea what you two are assuming."

Jillian leaned across the table and whispered, "have a threesome."

My eyes widened as I leaned back quickly, "Jill, ew, no!" I shook my head, as if trying to dispell the thought from my mind that way, "I didn't have sex with either of them!"

They both let out relieved sighs.

"But you did get drunk, right?" Jillian said.

I nodded, "I don't remember much of last night. I remember dancing, a lot. And then I woke up and Stu was in my room. But we were both fully clothed. The only item of clothing not on me was my shoes. And Stu was sleeping on a chair."

Again then looked relieved.

"Well, now that all of that is out of the way. Why don't we talk about something and just catch up," Beth said, patting my hand before Jillian began a conversation about something trivial.

I sat and listened, and participated, like a good friend, but my mind was far away, thinking of the past day and all of the craziness muddled up inside my head.

And then PJ's words washed over me.

_Let it drive you to continue on._


	12. I Used To Obsess Over Living

_**This update is long overdue, and I'm honestly sorry for that. I forgot how much I love this fic and I hope I still have some readers out there, somewhere :) **_

_**If you are out there still, drop me a review to let me know.**_

_**Anyways, hope you guys enjoy this one. I like where this fic is heading, now that I have it all worked out. **_

_**Mahalo for the reviews from the last chapter.**_

_**xoxoxo**_

_**Angel **_

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't**_

_**Chapter 12- I Used To Obsess Over Living**_

Another day of work. I hummed as I walked into the arena. NXT and Smackdown were in Chicago, Illinois and the city alone left me feeling on edge. Ever since we had entered the city a dark cloud had permanently anchored itself over my head. Even traveling here and hanging out with the NXT guys and the pros hadn't lightened my mood.

I think it was just the memories that the city held. I'd lived in this city once, with Phil, and the emotions that thinking about those days brought along were dark and morose. Every time I imagined the afternoons spent lazying about the city with Phil made my heart ache.

All in all, I hated being in Chicago.

I wanted to be in the next city as soon as possible, but I had a job to do first.

The glass doors closed behind me but I heard them open again soon after.

"Hey Paige, wait up!" An accented voice called a few steps from behind me.

I turned, recognizing the accent immediately. "PJ, hi, how was your drive here?" I asked. I had ridden with Stu, Heath, David and Tyrone. PJ had ridden in with Bryan, Fred and the others.

"Mine was good, yours?" he asked, as we began walking and he fell into step beside me.

"Fine, just another drive, to another city," I answered, tilting my head slightly and gripping the strap of my bag tightly.

PJ looked down at me, "something wrong?"

I guess I wasn't hiding my mood as effectively as I thought. I decided to just lie through my teeth, "no, I'm fine." I could hear the falseness in my voice, by the way that it raised slightly.

PJ rolled his eyes, "c'mon Paige, give me some credit, I think I know you better than that by now." He turned his body toward me slightly, focusing his attention on me, leveling me with his eyes, waiting for me to tell him the truth.

I sighed heavily and my resolve gave way, "Chicago...isn't my favorite city to be in."

His eyebrows furrowed, "why?"

"Phil's hometown, I lived here with him, this is where he cheated on me," I scoffed, "there's various reasons."

PJ frowned instantly, "oh, right, I forgot."

I shrugged, "not like it's your job to remember." I smiled at him and punched his shoulder, "don't worry about it, I'll be fine. Just a little moody."

"I'll make sure he stays away, all right?" PJ said, stopping and placing a hand I my shoulder.

I stared at his hand for a moment before glancing up to meet his eyes. I smiled softly, placing my hand over his, "thanks," I breathed.

We continued on our way to the locker room, talking easily. For some reason, conversation just flowed between the two of us, but when it came to other people, people who I used to consider my friends, well, I couldn't even face some of them.

I couldn't wrap my mind around how or why I had just unconsciously decided to trust PJ, and Stu. I didn't even have time to try and stop myself. I'd trusted Phil like this once, and Randy and John, which brought to mind the point that even though I trust them, they can still hurt me. There is a chance PJ could break my trust, or cause an accident like the others had.

But when PJ smiled down at me, I decided to ignore those thoughts and I returned his smile.

"Hey, isn't she supposed to be my valet?" Bryan called jokingly as he caught sight of us when as the three of us neared the locker room door.

"Not for long," PJ remarked with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes, stepping forward to hug Bryan. "Anything interesting for us tonight?" I asked.

"I have a match against Fred, with Punk ringside. I think you two get into it, and you have a segment backstage where you tell the Miz off for not supporting me," he replied.

I felt PJ's eyes on, waiting to see my reaction. He didn't have to worry. I knew I could act professionally. I could go out to the ring, in my Athena persona, and interact with Punk as much as management wanted me to, I wasn't going to cause a rift over something that can be handled quickly and politely.

I nodded, "sounds good. I'm so glad you're the leader, I get to have with my first Rookie."

"I just can't wait to see you back in the ring kicking some ass. Everyone knows the Divas nowadays aren't here because of their wrestling talent." Bryan said.

"Excluding a select few," I said, defending my friends. Beth was a damn good wrestler, she can more than hold her own in the ring.

"Yeah, there are a few on the roster who are pretty exceptional," PJ agreed.

"I guess there are a couple, but tell me Paige, when are you hopping back in the saddle? I haven't seen you practicing much yet," Bryan said, leaning back against the wall casually.

I froze for a moment, blinking. No one had asked me yet when I was going to start wrestling again, or why I hadn't been asking anyone to spar in preparation for my return. I swallowed, feeling my palms get a little sweaty and my heart speed up. I was going to need to answer, soon, or they'd figure something was wrong.

"Um, I-I don't know."

"Have you been medically cleared?" Bryan asked as PJ stayed silent, just watching me.

"Yeah, I was a couple months ago. I just, management hasn't told me yet when I'm getting back in the ring. I think they want me to finish off NXT before they put me into a competing storyline on one of the main shows. I think they want me to focus on reintroducing my character first, get the fans back on my side and all." I began rambling off an excuse that sounded plausible.

"Well, I think you've more than accomplished that. The fans love you, like always. I just miss that beautiful moonsault of yours." He shrugged, "well anyways, I gotta go get ready for the show. If you ever need someone to spar with, I'm just a call away," and with that he disappeared into the locker room.

I wanted to let out a sigh of relief but PJ was still standing beside me.

"You okay?" he asked.

"You ask that way too much. But, I'm fine. Go get ready, I need to talk to a producer about the details of what I'm doing tonight." I patted his arms before walking off down the hall.

-X-x-X-x-X-

PJ leaned his head back against the wall in the locker room. He couldn't get Paige's reaction out of his head.

The minute Bryan had mentioned her wrestling again she had tensed up and there had been a lengthy, but barely noticeable pause before she answered. But PJ had caught it, and now an idea was tugging at the edges of his mind. He didn't think it was true, he didn't want it to be true, but it would make a lot of sense.

What if Paige was afraid of wrestling again?

I sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Something wrong?" Stu asked as he finished gelling his hair into place.

"I-I don't know, really." PJ replied honestly.

"What's on your mind kid?" Matt asked as he and Jay made their way over.

"Have either of you been sparring with Paige, y'know, helping her get ready to return to in ring action, or anything?" he asked.

The two WWE veterans shook their heads.

"Nah, but Paige is the type to practice more on her own," Matt said.

"Well, only sometimes, she used to spar with Adam and I. I know she sparred with Randy and John," he paused, "back in the day." Jay corrected.

Matt shrugged, "why do you ask?"

"She hasn't been training to return to the ring, at all. Everyone's been offering to help her out, but she keeps refusing, or makes excuses." PJ said.

"Maybe she's taking the solo road on this one. It has been a long time since she wrestled, maybe she embarrassed or having a hard time and doesn't want anyone to see that, she has been known to protect her pride," Jay shrugged.

"I don't think its that, she would've mentioned it or something." PJ murmured.

"So what are you trying to say?" Stu asked.

"Do you guys think she's scared of competing? Like, maybe she's afraid that if she does she'll get injured again?" He hoped he didn't sound crazy, or stupid, but he felt like it was the only explanation.

Matt scoffed, "no, there is no such thing as fear inside of Paige's body."

"Are we talking about the same girl? She goes skydiving and scales the sides of mountains on her time off, she's done all kinds of crazy and terrifying things." Jay said.

"That doesn't mean she's not afraid of anything. Breaking your neck is a scary thing," PJ said.

"If anything, the injury would have made her want to work harder to get back into the ring," Matt said.

"And it took her a whole year." PJ shot back and both Matt and Jay fell silent. He had a point, but they refused to accept it. They couldn't imagine anything else being ruined in Paige's life. They couldn't let themselves think that not only had she lost her boyfriend and her friends, but her career and greatest love of all—wrestling.

"I think you're wrong," Jay said, standing up and leaving the locker room. Matt nodded in agreement.

"I'll see you before your match," Matt said before leaving as well.

PJ said, running his hand down his face and leaning back against the wall again, "it was just a theory," he muttered.

Stu shrugged, "I think Paige can handle her own internal issues on her own." With that, the Brit picked up his jacket and left, leaving PJ alone in the locker room.

"She can't handle them if she won't even acknowledge them." PJ said to himself softly, convinced more than ever that his theory was true.

-x-x-x-

By the time PJ had showered after his match he was just in time to catch Paige's segment with the Miz. It was humorous to see someone like the Miz being taken on by a woman who was several inches smaller than him and looked so petite and calm.

When the producer yelled cut Paige and Mike shared a couple words before she smiled and left the set, heading straight toward PJ.

"Hey, your match was great," she greeted as they fell in step together.

"Thanks, your segment was quite hilarious," he commented.

She grinned, "Mike's easy to work with when it comes to those type of segments."

PJ looked around, they were alone in the hallway, and he much preferred for them to be alone when they had this conversation. "Paige, can we talk?"

She stopped and turned to look at him, "about what?"

"I-I've just been wondering about something, and I wanted to ask you about it," he said.

She raised an eyebrow, "ask away."

He took a deep breath, "do you honestly plan on returning to the ring anytime soon?"

She froze, her eyes snapping up to meet his, "what kind of question is that?" Her instant defense mechanism was aggression and denial.

"All right, then, have you been training for when you do return?" he asked.

Her eyebrows furrowed and she began to turn to walk away, "I'm not going to stand here and listen to this-" he cut her off.

"Yes or no Paige." He paused, "are you afraid of wrestling again, because you think you'll get hurt?"

She turned back around to face him, and as she did, he say a tear slip down her cheek.

He instantly felt horrible. He hadn't meant to make her cry, or hurt her feelings or anything like that. He just wanted to help.

"Yes, okay, I'm so fucking afraid of getting back in the ring. I can barely take it standing in the ring during NXT segments. I'm afraid that there's going to be a scheduled brawl in there after one of the mic segments and I won't know about it and someone will send me over the top rope and I'll break my neck again but this time I won't be so lucky," the volume of her voice had risen.

She wiped at her eyes, "but I have no where else to go. I've never done anything else in my life. Every day since I turned sixteen I have been wrestling. So I couldn't just leave because I'm _afraid_. This is the only thing I'm good at. But I'm so fucking scared of it now that I feel totally lost. Lost and even more scared."

PJ stepped closer to her and pulled her into his arms. "I'm sorry," he whispered as she rested her forehead against his shoulder and shook her head. "I shouldn't have called you out like that, it was rude. I should've approached it in a different way, or something. Paige, I promise I didn't intend on hurting your feelings."

She pulled away, wiping at her eyes, pushing away her tears. "It's doesn't matter. It's stupid anyway."

"What's stupid," PJ asked, eyebrows furrowing. She began walking away but he held onto her wrist, not gripping it hard, but just encircling it gently so she wouldn't leave.

She looked back at him, "it's stupid that I'm scared of the one thing that's always been my safe haven."

"It's understandable Paige, you almost died out there," he reasoned.

She shook her head, "you'd think after all I've been through that something like that wouldn't phase. I've given up everything, been willing to give up anything to wrestle." With that she shook off his hand and walked away.

That night, back in his hotel room, PJ sat at the desk in his room, his laptop open in front of him, He pulled up YouTube and typed into the search engine _'WWE Athena breaks neck.'_

He clicked on the first video in the list and it began to play. He leaned back in his seat, switching the video to full screen and watched.

It was a match between Randy Orton and John Cena, during one of their various feuds, PJ was guessing it was one that took place a year or so ago.

He caught a glimpse of Paige ringside and heard the familiar announcers talking about her and her 'relationship' with Cena, all Kayfabe PJ suspected since Paige had probably just broken up with Phil around this time.

Randy had exposed the turnbuckle sometime during the match and used that to his advantage, cheating to gain the upper hand on Cena. So, in a chance to get revenge, when the ref was down, Paige climbed up onto the apron, smirking at Randy.

As Randy was focused on her, John came up behind Orton. Eye contact was made between Paige and Cena, imperceptible to the crowd, John gave her a nod. As he went for the Attitude Adjustment, Paige began climbing the turnbuckle, to land her finisher moonsault on the downed Orton, to get payback for an RKO given to her a few weeks ago, which the announcers alluded to.

But instead of hitting his finisher, PJ noticed a few words shared between the two, and Orton countered. He went for the RKO but Cena countered that, whipping Randy into the corner, the same corner where Paige was beginning to straighten out on the top rope.

She fell in a tangle of limbs, she fell forward and slightly to the side, but not toward the crowd, closer to the ring. PJ cringed as he heard the sickening crack when she side and back of her neck collided with the edge of the ring and then she crumbled to the floor outside the ring.

Orton and Cena froze for a moment, both trying to stay in character but you could see the fear in Orton's eyes as he glanced over the top rope down at her. Cena snapped back into character seconds after, scooping up Orton and executing the Attitude Adjustment as the ref sat up. He counted the three and then held Cena's hand up after the bell rang, glancing around for Paige, who still laid outside the ring, eyes closed, not moving.

PJ closed the screen, not wanting to watch as the paramedics came down to the ring and carried her away.

It was a sickening accident, it made him cringe as the image of her falling replayed in his mind.

He needed to talk to her, now that he understood why she was so scared.


	13. Maybe He Won't Find Out What I Know

_**Well, this is a pretty long chapter...I hadn't expected it to be this long..but things just happened. I personally like how this chapter turned out...**_

_**BTW, things are about to get started, yay! **_

_**Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I appreciate it sooooo much. **_

_**Read, review & enjoy**_

_**xoxoxo**_

_**Angel**_

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't **_

_**Chapter 13- And Maybe He Won't Find Out What I Know**_

Talking to Paige didn't turn out to be as easy as PJ expected. She'd been avoiding him like the plague since he'd called her out and she had confessed she was afraid of wrestling again. That single conversation had left him with several unanswered questions. She'd said, _"Every day since I turned sixteen I have been wrestling" _and "_I've given up everything, been willing to give up anything to wrestle." _Sixteen? PJ had started young, but for a woman, a teenage girl—it just sounded strange. Now PJ was wondering just what Paige has had to give up for the business. And he was wondering if he knew her as well as he, or anyone else, thought.

But he didn't get a chance to ask her because she made sure they were never alone together, there was always someone else there, she opted out of riding in cars with him to venues. She didn't visit him before shows outside the locker room. Instead she spent more time with Bryan and Stu, Jay and Matt, but she ignored PJ's presence whenever he was there.

Honestly, it hurt. He couldn't ignore the fact that he was attracted to Paige and there was just something compelling about her that continued to pull him in, even after the torture of being ignored for over a week.

He wondered how long it would take for her to crack. And then he remembered that she had gone a year without contacting anyone from the company, and he began to get worried. Not to mention he was beginning to feel the start of a nasty head cold working its way through his system.

X-x-X-x-X

I hated to admit it to myself, but I was avoiding PJ.

I knew that if we were left alone together, then PJ would want to talk about...stuff. The accident, my huge fear of wrestling again, the moment I burst into tears and cried on his shoulder. All low moments that I didn't want to revisit anytime soon. I didn't want to be around him when all of this confusion was buzzing around in my head.

But watching him sit in catering, in the corner with his head leaning against the wall, his hand loosely gripping a half empty water bottle as he struggled to breathe, when he wasn't coughing—was complete torture.

The tender and nurturing side of me instantly took over/

I couldn't stop myself as I walked over to him. It was in the middle of the show, but luckily PJ hadn't had a match. I'd already shot a scene with Miz where he had told me not to go ringside for Bryan's match, he had pretty much dismissed me. So I was just hanging around for the rest of the show with nothing to do.

PJ didn't seem to notice my approach because he didn't open his eyes until he felt my hand on his forehead. He had a fever. Perfect. The worst thing that can possibly happen in the life of a professional wrestler is to get a bug on the road. Not only did you feel miserable most of the time while you're sick, but then you have to wrestle with someone, and possibly infect them as well.

"Come on, we need to get you back to the hotel," I murmured, wrapping my hand around his bicep and pulling him up. He stood willingly but stared at me, surprised I was even talking to him. I was surprised myself.

"Paige-" he went to talk but I cut him off.

"You can talk later, right now we need to get you warm and medicated. Is your stuff still in the locker room?"

He nodded.

"All right, I'll text Heath and tell him to take your stuff back to your guys room." I said as we began walking toward the arena exit.

"Why are you-" his question ended in a cough.

I rubbed his back and his shoulders relaxed slightly, "does your throat hurt too?"

He nodded in response, not talking, knowing it would only end in a coughing fit.

"And to answer your question, I'm helping because I care."

Because you make me feel like I'm floating, and like I'm grounded all at the same time.

I hurried him into the car and the minute the engine was on I cranked up the heater. "I have rules for sickness, okay?"

He glanced over at me and nodded.

"One- you stay hydrated, drink as much liquids as possible. Two- you stay warm, that means heater on in the car, under the blankets back at the hotel. Three- If you need anything, you ask, you don't do it for yourself until you are one hundred percent better. Got it?"

"Yeah," his voice was scratchy, and he swallowed thickly.

I bit my lip, feeling sorry for the poor guy. I hated being sick, I hated feeling so hopeless and dependent. "I'm gonna stop at the store to pick up a few things, stay in the care, I'll leave it running so you can use the heater."

I parked the car in front of a small grocery store, as I opened the driver's side door PJ's hand reached out and touched mine. I looked back at him.

"Thanks Paige."

I smiled softly, "any time." I paused, my eyes falling over him slowly, "I'll be right back."

-x-x-x-

We made it back to the hotel quickly and PJ was under the covers in his hotel room as soon as possible. I set to work preparing the chicken noodle soup as PJ got settled under the covers on his bed. I had texted Heath and warned him that PJ was probably contagious, so he was rooming with someone else for the night. So PJ would be left alone and would be able to get as much rest as he could in the next few days.

I hummed to myself softly as I brought the bowl of warm soup over to PJ. "Breathe in the steam, it'll help clear up your congestion," I said, going to find something to eat for myself. "Normally I would start you off with crackers and Sprite, but I don't think you have the flu. I think your stomach can handle the soup. You don't feel nauseous or anything, right?"

He nodded in response and glanced down at the soup. He didn't look too hungry, but he took a deep breath before eating a spoonful. I left him with his soup as I opened a box of Ritz crackers and the small rectangle of Tilamook cheese I had picked up when I was at the store. I settled down in the arm chair off to the side of the room as we ate silently.

PJ was flipping through channels, slowly picking at what was left of his soup when he asked me, "how do you know all of this stuff?" he asked. I had finished my sorry excuse for a meal already and was milling about. I had grabbed the bottle of pills from the plastic grocery bag and cracked open a bottle of water.

I shrugged, walking over to the bed, setting some aspirin down on the bed side table with a glass of water. "That's for the fever, and it will help with the sore throat. I'll make you some tea later, but what you really need is rest."

"You didn't answer my question."

I sighed, "I've taken care of my share of sick people." I picked up his soup bowl, setting it on the counter as he settled himself back against the pillows after downing the medicine. I knew he'd be asleep soon, it's hard to resist sleep when you're miserable and sick. I picked up one of the pillows from the other bed, "sit up," I commanded and he did as asked, hesitantly. I rolled my eyes as I positioned the extra pillow behind his head. "There you go, get some sleep. I'll be here for a while longer."

"You'd be a good mom," he murmured. I blinked, caught off guard by the comment. I turned back around, staring at him, but his eyes were closed and he was settled back against the pillows. He needed his rest, so I sat back down on the arm chair and turned the volume down on the TV, watching whatever random show was on until I felt my eyes slipping closed. I hadn't meant to, but I'd fallen asleep as well.

-x-x-x-

My eyes flew open at the sound of movement and coughing.

I muttered a curse under my breath as I pushed myself out of the chair and hurried over to PJ in the dark.

"Hey, lay back down, what do you need?" my voice was oddly quiet.

He tensed at the sound of my voice, as his eyes searched for me in the dark, "I didn't know you were still here. I thought you'd left."

"Well, I'm still here. What did you need?"

"Water."

"Got it," I walked over to the mini fridge and pulled out a bottle of water and then poured half of it into a glass. As I was pouring, PJ spoke.

"You've been avoiding me," his voice was soft, but the words were effective, and true.

My shoulder's tensed. He was heading in a direction that I didn't want to go. I knew I had to try and direct him away.

"You're hallucinating now, great," I said sarcastically.

"Paige. We're going to talk about it." There was a certainty in his voice that left no room for arguing.

I sighed heavily and stood, still gripping the glass of water in one hand, and the half-empty bottle in the other. "What is there to say? I've been avoiding you because I knew you'd read too much into this... I told you. I'm too afraid to wrestle. I'll break my neck again."

"Don't make it sound like the injury was your fault. _You _didn't break your neck."

I chewed the inside of my bottom lip, "you weren't there."

"YouTube made it seem like I was."

My breathing hitched and my hand released the glass of water to instinctively rub my neck. I traced the scar from my surgery. The only physical reminder of my injury—everything else was just mental. "You watched that?" My voice was low, barely above a whisper.

"Paige, you weren't at fault for your injury. Everyone in that ring was. John shouldn't have suddenly changed script, Randy should've watched where he was going. The ref should've noticed you were gone from the ring."

"But none of them did, okay! John broke script, Randy went along with it, and the ref did what he had originally been told. I wasn't paying more attention to John. And because of all of that, I almost lost everything. And I'm not sure if' I'm okay with it, but I think it's a great deal to only have to give up my career in return for keeping my life."

"You don't have to see that as the only option. You can get back in the ring."

"How? Every time I step in the ring now I begin to shake, my heart speeds up, my palms get sweaty. It takes all of my self control to act composed and in character, when all I really want to do is get the hell out of dodge. PJ, I don't think I could learn to get over it, even if I wanted to."

"You don't want to wrestle again?"

The question stopped me and I realized I didn't have an answer. My mouth opened and closed until it set into a line and I shrugged. "I don't know...I don't know," I murmured, shaking my head as I felt the tears come to my eyes.

"You told me wrestling was your safe haven. It can still be that. It was compromised, but you can make it feel safe again." He paused, "I'll help you."

I bit my lip and squeezed my eyes shut.

I didn't need to be alone anymore. I'd spent such a ridiculously long time shutting myself off from everyone. I'd turned away from all my friends for stupid reasons, I created excuses for myself to be angry at them.

But PJ wasn't one of those people. He was someone knew, someone who had squeezed his way into my heart and my mind, despite all the barriers I had put up. I think he made it possible because I hadn't been expecting him to begin with.

It wasn't just PJ either, it was all of the NXT Rookies. Stu, Heath, Fred, Bryan, they'd all gotten close to me despite the distance I had put between myself and the people I had once considered my good friends.

PJ wanted to help me, and I knew if I asked, the rest of the Rookies would help too.

"I can't promise you anything PJ."

"I'm not asking you promise, I'm asking you to try."

His hand on my shoulder caused my eyes to widen as I turned around. I hadn't noticed him get up and walk over to me. I met his eyes, chewing my lip.

"Can we go back to normal?" I asked softly.

He smiled, "I'd like that."

-x-x-x-

PJ and I did return to normal. No more avoiding him, no more awkwardness over my confession. It was all relaxed once more backstage at NXT. All of the guys seemed to notice it as well.

"I'm gonna head to catering," Bryan said and I just nodded. I was heading to hair and make up to get ready for the show.

"See you later then, good luck in the Rookie Challenge." I called after him as he turned down a hallway.

I continued on toward hair and make up. My phone buzzed and I pulled it out of my pocket.

_1 new message from PJ _

_Where r u?_

I chewed my lip as I texted back.

_Going to hair & make up. Meet me halfway?_

He texted back within seconds.

_Sure._

I smiled to myself and looked up just in time to see John Cena turning the corner.

Despite the lack of eagerness to see him, our eyes instantly connected. I swallowed thickly as he continued walking in my direction.

It felt like I couldn't breathe, but I kept my feet moving, hoping I could just walk past him.

He shifted his body slightly, making it so in just a couple feet we would be standing face to face.

As I passed a connecting hallway, I caught sight of PJ who sent me a smile.

I pivoted on my heel and scurried over to PJ, not glancing back at John.

PJ looked confused as I reached him.

"Keep walking," I muttered.

"Paige!"

I ignored John's voice and kept walking, dragging PJ along as he glanced back at John.

"Paige, what is going on?" PJ asked.

I ignored the question and walked on, putting more and more space between John and I.

I didn't slow down until we were in front of the door that led to hair and make up. PJ turned me so I was facing him and gripped my shoulders. "What was that?"

I was out of breath and I was gasping for air as I shook my head.

"I can't talk to him. I just—can't...after everything," I shook my head.

There were still some secrets that I had, that I just refused to tell PJ. What he doesn't know won't hurt him.

He was understanding though and just pulled me into his arms, hugging me.

"You ready for tonight?" Matt Striker asked as he met up with me by the tunnel.

I shrugged, "I guess...Management is definitely throwing me into a romantic angle with someone. They gave me notes on how to react to the guys after they finished their challenge."

"Really?" he asked.

"Really." I replied, rolling my eyes. "I guess I'm not entertaining enough in a normal storyline."

He chuckled. Our short conversation was interrupted by the NXT theme as it blasted throughout the arena.

"Show time." I muttered, getting into character as a stage hand motioned for me to head out.

_[on screen] _

_Toxic Valentine by All Time Low started up at the very beginning of NXT. Athena walked out dressed in a black strapless dress with gold scales outlined in glitter. A zipper ran down the front of the dress all the way to the bottom hem which reached her mid-thigh. _

_She smiled at the fans, waving as she walked around the ring toward the announce table. A chair was set up there for her and she sat down after high-fiving some fans. _

_With that, the show commenced. Matt Striker had the Rookies line up as he explained to the them the Rookie Challenge for the week—the obstacle course. He revealed that the winner of the challenge would gain immunity as well as another prize—a kiss from Athena._

_The camera switched over to look at Athena, who had her eyebrows raised in surprise. She rolled her eyes as she crossed her legs, looking bored._

_Daniel Bryan started things off, his ribs taped, which added to his slow time. Athena gave the man she was managing a sympathetic look and afterward looked quite disappointed. Athena frowned, standing up as the Miz came out to criticize Daniel's performance. She glared at the 'Awesome One.' She met Daniel at the steps as he got into the ring and she placed a worried hand on his shoulder. He just glanced at her and got into the ring. Athena glared at the Miz as they stood ringside and began to heatedly argue. _

_After the match, Athena got into the ring to check on Daniel who had lost. Miz stood over them, looking as disapproving as ever. That is when Carlito and Michael Tarver moved in. Athena looked up as Tarver grabbed Daniel's arm. _

_"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she yelled as Tarver picked Daniel up roughly. She went to stop him but all of a sudden Carlito grabbed Daniel, hitting the backstabber. Athena stared in shock for a moment and then crouched down by Daniel, glaring at Miz as he taunted the downed man._

_Daniel was taken backstage and Athena returned to her seat, to continue watching the obstacle course challenge. _

_She grimaced as Heath Slater sent her a week after he set the new time to beat. Once the One Man Rock Band was backstage, Athena turned to the announcers and feigned gagging. Darren Young went next, and Athena was indifferent to the man, and Heath Slater stayed in the lead. _

_Justin Gabriel made his way out. And as he blazed his way through the obstacle course, Athena watched intently. She grimaced when Josh Matthews compared him to the Jonas Brothers. Justin beat Heath's time and Paige sat up straighter as he glanced over at her from across the arena. _

_Otunga attempted the course next. Athena fidgeted as it seemed that he would beat Justin's time. There was no way Athena was going to kiss a married man. She let out a sigh of relief when he didn't beat the set time. The former women's champion sat back and watched Otunga take on his own __Pro in a losing effort. _

_Athena was unimpressed by Wade's attitude toward the challenge and shook her head as he was deemed disqualified. Athena paid less attention to Skip Sheffield and Michael Tarver, instead busying herself with her cell phone. _

_Athena stood as Justin Gabriel was announced the winner, and she made her way around the ring to stand beside Daniel Bryan. She smirked as Justin commented on Otunga's lack of talent. And as Matt Striker moved on to speak to Otunga, Justin's gaze met Athena's. _

_The questioning of the other Rookies continued as they stated who they believed should be sent home the next week. As the fight broke out between Darren Young and Wade Barrett, Daniel Bryan and Justin Gabriel stepped in front of Athena protectively. _

_The two fighting men were ushered backstage through different exits and the rest of the Rookies field up the ramp, but left Justin Gabriel and Athena standing ringside still. _

_The camera settled on Justin as he looked down at Athena, who was glancing at her nails as he spoke to her. _

_The camera man stepped closer, with a microphone, so he could catch what the two were saying. _

_"It's totally fine with me, I'm happy with just getting immunity," he said, his words sincere as he looked down at the brunette. _

_Her eyes met his, "but it's your prize, you have every right to claim it," she said pointedly, leaning toward him slightly. _

_"You don't have to do anything you don't want to," he stated._

_In a fluid movement Athena lifted her arm, curving it around his neck, her fingers sliding into his dark hair. "What if I want to?" She raised an eyebrow. The crowd erupted in excited cheers. _

_Without a moments more hesitation, Justin's lips met hers as one of his arms slid around her waist, tugging her closer to him, while his other hand angled her head slightly. _

_Athena's arms twined around his neck, bringing herself closer to him as his warm hands spread down her back. _

_The WWE Universe was letting out cat calls and whistles from the arena as the two got lost in their moment._

_"Well it seems things on NXT are just heating up. Join us next week for the first elimination." Matt Striker announced before the camera's faded out and the show ended. _


	14. I'm Addicted to the Way I Feel

_**I'm so inspired with this fic, I just love it. I hope you guys love it too and choose to stick with it, because there is quite a bit still to go...**_

_**Anyways, i'm introducing another Diva into the main group of friends...Victoria Crawford, aka Alicia Fox...yep...**_

_**Thank you for the reviews, I appreciate them so, so much...I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as previous ones :)**_

_**Things are getting good...**_

_**xoxoxo**_

_**Angel **_

_**PS- I do not own WWE Superstars/Divas/Employees, or any other brands mentioned. They belong to their respective owners. I do own Paige Ross, that is all. **_

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't**_

_**Chapter 14- I'm Addicted To the Way I Feel When I Think Of You**_

I sat with my back against the wall, pushing my fingers through my hair once again. I couldn't get the thoughts out of the my head, the image, the feelings. They were consuming me. I screwed my eyes shut, but the picture that played on my eyelids was a tempting one—staring at PJ's lips as he unconsciously wet them.

I felt like my stomach would explode from the butterflies, if my heart didn't first. I was still out of breath, my lips were still tingling from the moment we had shared moments before.

_I had expected kissing PJ to be a lot different. I didn't expect it to feel so...right. The way he had tugged me against his body, I fit perfectly against him. My arms comfortably rested around his shoulders and his arms around my waist. _

_He tasted perfect, better than anything imagined, and he was just so tender. The producer had asked for me to make the kiss believable, but I think the viewers got a whole lot more all rolled into one. _

_The way his thumb stroked my cheek, while his other hand spanned the small of my back was tender in itself. But it wasn't just that, it was the way he had coaxed me into the kiss. _

_I had gone into it planning on keeping myself in character—being Athena the whole time. Strong, sly and seductive Athena. We both started it off just the way we had planned, but the moment he parted our lips slightly and then placed the next line of kisses on my bottom lip had me literally weak in the knees. I knew that his arm was the only thing holding me up._

_I was warm and freezing at the same time in that huge open arena. A heat burst in my stomach and my cheeks, but a shiver rolled down my spine as his thumb brushed the sensitive skin on my hip. I could barely focus on returning the kiss, and I completely forgot the cameras and the fans and everyone else was there up until I heard Matt Striker's voice rise up over the noise of the crowd and the thudding of my heart._

_I was lost for a moment longer until finally PJ pulled back, his hand on the back of my neck. Our eyes met and I felt the blush burn on my cheeks before I turned suddenly, and walked up the ramp, ignoring the numbness in my legs. _

Once backstage, I made my way to a locker room. He hadn't followed me, thank God. I don't know if I could handle facing him after that. There were so many things going through my head at the moment I don't know how I would react to seeing him.

Sharing a kiss with PJ just reminded me of Phil, and the way we used to kiss, and the way he had kissed me weeks ago. I couldn't help but compare all of them.

Kissing Phil was a sensual experience, he was so seductive in the way he held you, in the way he initiated the kiss. He was always the one to begin the movement, and he knew the perfect ways to accentuate it. He knew how he made you feel, and he made you realize it as well. His kiss was possessive, the way he held you communicated the fact that he held you like putty in his hands, literally and figuratively, and he was able to make you do anything he wanted.

PJ was so different.

I let out a breath, running a hand through my hair again and settling my forehead against my knee.

The kiss hadn't felt scripted once it started. It felt real, and tender, yielding, evocative. It made my heart speed up just thinking about it. It made me want to be honest to myself about things. It made me think of that night where we sat alone in his hotel room, when he was so honest and so real that I just spilled all of my fear and insecurities to him like I had never done before. Phil hadn't known half of the things I had told PJ that night. I had left myself almost completely bare and PJ had told me I'm beautiful, regardless of all the cracks and flaws on my heart and soul.

God, I was falling for him. And that kiss had only made me want to tell him just that. But my defenses and past experience told me to shut away any stray thoughts that escaped that tightly locked vault.

But, damn it, PJ was making me rethink my no trusting and no relationships rule.

And I just didn't know what to do anymore.

I lifted my head when there was a knock at the locker room door. Slowly I stood and walked over, crossing my fingers and hoping it was PJ, I opened the door.

Jay stood there, arms folded over his chest, eyebrow raised.

"_What _was that?"

I swallowed, "it was part of the script. All they told me was that I'd be kissing one of the rookies and to make it look believable."

"Paige, believable is an understatement for what that was. That—That was—It felt awkward to watch, like I was intruding on something _very _private."

"We just have really good chemistry."

"And you're totally into each other."

My eyebrows furrowed, "we are not."

"I've shared several scripted kisses with women who I had 'chemistry' with," he used air quotes and I rolled my eyes. "But none of those kisses ever looked like the one you just shared with PJ."

I took a deep breath and shrugged, not making eye contact, "there's nothing going on between us. And there never will be. I think everyone knows I'm not on the market for a relationship. I've been burned one too many times."

"That doesn't mean you don't like him."

I stared up at the blond man and he just smirked.

-x-x-x-

"So why didn't you tell us you were getting put in a romantic storyline?" Beth asked as she sat down across from me with her Starbucks in hand.

"Yeah especially when its with a hunk like that PJ guy," Jillian added as she sat down as well.

"Because I didn't know about it until yesterday," I answered, sipping my frappuccino through my straw.

"They just sprung it on you guys, wow," Jillian said.

"They didn't even tell me who I would be kissing. They just let me find out when everyone else did." I explained.

"But aren't you glad its him instead of someone else? You guys seem pretty close." Beth commented.

"Well, I guess," I chewed my lip.

"Hmm, I know that face. You _like _him," Jillian smirked.

I rolled my eyes, "why does everyone keep assuming that?"

"Maybe because it looked like the two of you wanted to take it to the bedroom during that kiss," Beth muttered and Jillian laughed.

"Not even funny," I murmured under my breath, "seriously you guys."

"Be honest with yourself. Do you like him?"

"As a person. Yes."

"Are you two really close friends," she looked at me levelly, practically forcing me to tell the truth with just her eyes.

"Yes."

"Could you see the two of you as more than friends?"

I breathed deeply, closing my eyes for a moment. I could imagine it. Being with PJ. He seemed to understand me a hell of a lot more than my past romantic interests had. I sighed.

"Yes."

Jillian and Beth both smiled.

"And did that kiss make you want to kiss him again?"

"These are getting kind of personal." I muttered.

"We _are_ your best friends." Beth pointed out.

I sighed, "yes," I mumbled quietly.

"What was that?" Jillian asked.

"Yes. I said yes, because it did make me want to kiss him again. Okay, are you happy?"

"Are you? Are you happy just being friends with him?" Beth asked, arching an eyebrow.

"I—I don't know. After what happened with Phil...and with..." I trailed off.

"He who shall not be named," Jillian filled in the blank with a sympathetic nod.

"Yeah, I don't know if I'm ready to be in a serious relationship with anyone."

"See, you must like him, you're thinking about being in a serious relationship with him." Beth concluded, "that means something. Personally I think the two of you look great together, and from what I've seen and heard he's a stand up guy-"

I cut her off, "yeah, that's what everyone said about Phil, and look what happened." I frowned pointedly.

"Not every guy is like Phil," Jillian said, squeezing my hand, "just give PJ a shot. You never know what may happen."

I let out a huff, not meeting their eyes. It was confusing, and I had no idea what my next move was.

But, it was safe to say I would be going back to avoiding PJ for a while.

-x-x-x-

"So what was it like to kiss one of the greatest women's champions in WWE history?"

PJ glanced up at the woman, Victoria Crawford, who had walked over to him as he laced up his boots. The two had planned to train together that afternoon. The two had become close friends once he joined FCW, and they had kept in contact after she had been upped to the main roster, and now that he was there as well they got to hang out more.

Victoria raised an eyebrow, awaiting an answer.

"Wouldn't you like to know," he replied, shaking his head slightly.

The Diva rolled her eyes as she pulled her curly hair up into a ponytail. "C'mon PJ, seriously? What was that whole thing about? You didn't tell me you were scripted to kiss anyone. Are they trying to start something between the two of you?"

"I don't know, they didn't really say much about it, just told us what to do, and left it at that." He stood up and began stretching out his limbs.

Victoria did the same, all the while watching her friend, "but you want them to start something between the two of you?"

He began to nod when he caught what she had just said, "what?" He turned his head to look at the woman, who just smirked.

"You _like _her."

"Do not."

"Oh, whatever PJ. I can tell. Everyone saw that kiss, it certainly didn't look faked. At all."

"Maybe we're both just really good actors. And it meant nothing."

Victoria shook her head slightly, "have you talked to her since the kiss."

He clammed up immediately and didn't respond, just started walking toward the ring.

"My point exactly," she hummed, following him.

She let the subject drop for a short amount of time. While they were running through some moves in the ring she caught him off guard again. "I heard she took care of you while you had that nasty bug a week or so ago. Is that true?"

PJ stopped and stared at her, crossing his arms and giving her a look. "Where did you hear that?"

She smiled innocently, "so, it's true, which I think means she likes you. She wouldn't just take care of anyone."

"She'd look after any of the NXT guys, they're all close with her," PJ argued.

Victoria rolled her eyes, "PJ," she whined, "just look at all the evidence. There's definitely some sexual tension between the two of you. You just need to make a move."

"I can't."

She raised an eyebrow, "why not?"

He struggled for the right way to say it, "everything's still fresh for her. Phil cheating, her injury...I promised I'd protect her. If she and I got together, what assurance is there that I won't hurt her myself?"

The brunette gave him a sympathetic look, "you're so sweet and romantic PJ. I wish I had a guy like you." She smiled at him, patting his shoulder, "but you over think everything." And with that she pushed him into the ropes, laughing.

He rolled his eyes at her, but her words had got him thinking nonetheless.

Maybe she had a point.

-x-x-x-

I'd done a pretty good job avoiding PJ for the past week. But it was once again time to tape the next episode of NXT, which meant seeing PJ. The thing that bothered me was that I was nervous just to see him. I had no idea what I would do if I ran into him alone. I didn't know what I would say.

But because the universe hates me, as I made my way to the locker room, PJ rounded the corner and we almost ran into each other.

I froze as our eyes locked, and a silence cloaked us like a heavy fog. I shifted uncomfortably and my eyes fell from his. I could feel his eyes searching my face, waiting for me to look up at him again, or to at least speak.

My eyes widened slightly when his fingers brushed the back of my hand and then trailed lightly up my arm. My breath hitched and I blinked as his hand lazily grazed my shoulder.

I suddenly jerked away and stepped around him quickly, walking briskly down the hall and away from him. I chewed my lip as I tried to ignore the churning of butterfly wings in my stomach, a storm of uncertainty and denial.

I couldn't lead PJ on, and I couldn't let myself feel that way when I was around him. I had to make it obvious that I wasn't interested.

In other words, I had to lie.

I was interested, I had already admitted it—to myself and out loud. But the thought of a relationship make a wave of sickness roll over me. And my gut twisted in a wrenching move that warned me what relationships had gotten me in the past. Broken hearts and insecurities.

"That was smooth," an accented voice commented, shocking me out of my thoughts.

I blinked and turned my head to find Stu watching me.

"So that must be the reason PJ has been so moody this past week," Stu mused, sounding as if something had just enlightened him greatly.

My eyebrows furrowed, "what must be the reason?"

"You two are avoiding each other again," he replied simply as he began walking.

I fell into step with him and opened my mouth to deny it but he silenced me with a look that said I wouldn't be fooling him.

"It was the kiss, wasn't it?" Stu asked.

I rolled my eyes, "what else would it be?"

"You tell me," he replied, eyes sliding over to me with a look that said he hoped there wasn't another reason.

"It was the kiss. I don't know why but we just stopped talking to each other afterward. Once I was backstage I didn't stick around to have a conversation about it. And we just didn't contact each other afterward."

"So instead of talking about what happened like two adults you have resorted to avoiding each other like two school kids."

"Essentially, yes," I replied, matching his sarcasm.

"I hope you know its ridiculous," he commented, sending me a grin that was supposed to soothe the sarcastic pinpricks out of our conversation.

"Yeah, I do."

He let it drop and moved on to another topic, speaking easily about tonight's first elimination and the revelation of the new pros poll. I smiled at his excitement and self-assurance that he was going to be toward the top of the poll.

"I dunno, some of the other guys have proved themselves to be really talent. Especially Brian, and PJ and a couple others. You can tell who has really been trying to master their craft." I smiled slightly.

"When is the master of the craft going to step into the ring again," he asked, nudging my arm.

My mind immediately shut down at the question and a frown replaced the grin that had been on my lips. I tried to recover quickly, but Stu had been one of the few guys who hadn't been bugging me about it constantly. Hell, PJ bugged me more about it than he did.

I shook my head, shrugging, "I don't know." And that was the truth.

I really just didn't know. And I was tired of people asking when I didn't have an answer.

-x-x-x-

I paused in front of the mirror in the locker room one last time, checking myself over to make sure I was ready to step out in front of a national audience. Sometimes being a Diva was a little nerve-wracking and worrisome, especially when you had to wear some of the most revealing, particularly placed dresses known to mankind. I didn't anything to be shown that wasn't supposed to be seen.

Once I was fully satisfied that all important areas were covered, I left the locker, heading for the curtain. For the beginning of the show they were going to have all the Rookies line up by the ring, the Pros and myself up on the stage. As far as I knew, all I'd have to do is stand still, smile and look pretty in my tight, gold, halter-style dress.

I spotted a few of the Pros hanging around, waiting for NXT to begin and I was about to make my way over to them.

That's when my name was spoken in the lowest, most tender timbre that my ears have ever heard.

"Paige," just my name and his accent danced perfectly through the five letters.

I turned, my eyes meeting PJ's as he walked slowly, determinedly toward me. I kept my eyes locked with his until he was too close.

I went to take in a breath, but he stole it from me.


	15. All My Feelings Exposed

**I was just so excited to write this chapter that I got it done super fast, and now I'm posting it. So...I really like how this chapter turned out, and I hope all of you like it just as much, if not more :)**

**Thank you for the reviews, they bring me immense happiness when i see the emails in my inbox :) **

**Read, review & enjoy,**

**xoxoxo**

**Angel **

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't**_

_**Chapter 15: All My Feelings Exposed**_

"You were right," PJ announced.

Victoria straightened up from where she was lacing up her boots and raised an eyebrow. "I'm always right, I know. But which instance are we talking about?"

PJ rolled his eyes, now was not the time for sarcasm and wit. He'd seen Paige minutes ago and she had run from him like he burned her. She was avoiding him again. And he couldn't stand it. All the progress they had made ruined by one scripted kiss. It brought some things clearly into the forefront of PJ's mind.

"You know what I'm talking about," he said.

"I don't think you're supposed to be in the women's locker room. You know Paige could walk in here at any minute, right?"

"Victoria," the tone of his voice caused her to stop and her expression to soften.

"So, you like her, what are you going to do about it?"

"That's what I came here for. I don't know. She's avoiding me. What should I do."

The tall woman rolled her eyes, grumbling about some guys being so dense.

"_Tell her_," she exaggerated the words, like it was the obvious answer that anyone would've given him, and he was stupid to not have come to that conclusion on his own.

~x~

So there he stood, standing so close he could hear Paige softly inhale. From the moment he'd met her, he'd never imagined being this close to her. Close enough to smell the hint of mangoes on her skin, to hear her swallow nervously, to see the interweaving of grays and blues in her irises.

He didn't have much time to encode any other information about her before he cupped her cheek gingerly and leaned in. Her eyes slid shut just seconds before he pressed his lips to hers, coaxing her closer to him as he encircled her in his arms.

Where their onscreen kiss had been all passion and discovery, this kiss was tender and expressive. It made a shiver roll down PJ's spine, and a lightness to grow in his chest.

But, he had made his plan before approaching her and knew he had to stick to it.

Pulling back slightly, just slightly, he locked his eyes with hers again. Inhaling deeply, he watched her do the same before he spoke.

He leaned in again, pushing her hair behind her ear, and placing his lips there. "We need to talk. Meet me after the show, at your rental."

With that said he stepped away, waiting for Paige to respond. She blinked slowly and then nodded in the same dazed manner.

PJ didn't allow himself to smile smugly until he was out of her line of sight and heading for the curtain. Then, he was in front of the WWE Universe, placing Paige to the outskirts of his mind for just a little while.

-x-x-x-

I blinked, running over what had just happened several times in my head, trying to process it all.

PJ had kissed me.

Out of the blue. Without any words. No explanation.

He just kissed me.

My lips were still tingling, as was my skin where he had touched me. I hadn't dared moved, for fear that my knees would buckle instantly, and I hadn't even let myself imagine what talking to PJ later could entail.

"Well I don't think either of us was expecting that," a voice remarked from behind me.

Steadying myself, I turned around, hoping whoever had just witnessed that was someone merciful and understanding.

I found Jay smirking at me, with a knowing look.

"So I think it's safe to say that I'm right on all accounts." He said.

"And what accounts would those be?" I asked, trying to return myself to my usual cool manner.

Jay just grinned, "claim one, you are both totally into each other. Claim two, you really like him. What was it that he whispered to you, anyway?"

"None of your business," I growled at the blond and he just smirked back at me.

"Admit it Paige, no matter how many times you tell yourself you don't want or need to be in a relationship, you still want to be with PJ. It's obvious to anyone who looks close enough."

"Well no one looks too much into things more than you Jay," I quipped, heading over to where they were calling for myself and the Pros to line up.

"Didn't hear you denying anything. I'm so totally right."

"You're too smug for your own good," I said before Jay walked over to line up with the other Pros. I moved to the set where I would be filmed watching the first segment of NXT.

_[on screen]_

_Matt Striker introduced the 8 NXT Rookies as the NXT theme music played. The eight hopefuls lined up in front of the ring, each looking anxious to found out the results. After showing a clip from the previous RAW episode where the eight Rookies defeated 4 RAW Superstars, Matt got right down to business. Informing Michael Tarver that he had been eliminated due to his comments from last week. _

_He didn't leave quietly, blaming the fans for no apparent reason._

_Matt Striker then moved on, breaking the news to Daniel Bryan that he had also been eliminated. _

_The cameras cut to an area backstage where Athena was watching the show. Her face showed the shock she felt at the revelation that Daniel Bryan had been eliminated. She would for sure now be managing a new Rookie. _

_Daniel left the arena without incident and Matt Striker continued on. He dropped another bomb on the Rookies, telling that yet another one of them would be eliminated later when the Pros Poll would be revealed. _

_Later in the show, the cameras were directed to Matt Striker backstage, who waited to interview Daniel Bryan, who had Athena at his side. After Daniel's little run on about Daniel Bryan and Bryan Danielson, he stepped out of the sight of the camera and Matt Striker turned to Athena._

_"Well, now that Daniel Bryan has been eliminated, it is certain you will be mentoring a new Rookie now. Who do you think the Pros will rank as number 1?"_

_"Well, I can't reveal anything now, can I? But, if I were a Pro, I know who I think deserves that top spot." Athena said, smiling in her demure way. _

_"That wasn't vague at all. Would that Rookie, by any chance, be Justin Gabriel, who you seemed quite...smitten with last week?" Matt Striker grinned._

_Athena shrugged one shoulder, "Justin and I do get along quite well, and I think he's shown his...strengths, but if he were to be ranked number one and I became his manager, I could bring certain assets into his hands which could prove to be very valuable." She winked at the camera before strutting off._

_[off screen]_

I smiled as Stu came backstage after the Pros Poll was revealed.

"Congratulations," I said, reaching out to hug the tall British man.

He smiled down at me, "now I get to have you in my corner, I'm certain to win now." He commented.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, she's saving her best assets for PJ," Daniel commented jokingly. He and I had been standing backstage together after our interview segment.

I pushed his shoulder roughly, "shut up."

He just grinned at me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders, "you know you love me."

"That's only because I've known you for like then years now, and I know you're completely harmless." I quipped, ducking away as he went to capture me in a headlock.

The guys were laughing at the exchange, but during all the light-hearted chatter I caught PJ's eye. I wet my suddenly dry lips and glanced away, running my fingers through my hair.

"I'm gonna get going guys. I'll see you," I said pointing at Stu, "and you," I pointed at Heath next, "tomorrow morning since I'm your ride."

"Sweet, see you then," Heath said, hugging me around the shoulders before letting me walk off.

I forced myself to breath evenly as I made my way to the locker room. Once inside I stared around the room, not sure what to do. I felt like bolting, getting out of the arena before PJ even had the chance to get to the parking lot. But I knew that was the coward's way out, and despite the confusion I felt over my feelings, I wasn't going to appear a coward to him.

So I unzipped my dress and tugged it off my body before digging through my bag and finding a pair of loose jeans, a tank-top and a plain gray hoodie. I pulled my hair back into a pony tail before bending over to tug on a my black Vans.

With a sigh I straightened up and checked the time. I had successfully wasted ten minutes of time doing something that I could've accomplished in a few quick seconds.

Maybe I was a coward.

It would be too late now to slip away unnoticed.

Well, he would notice if my rental was gone, or if I never showed up.

So the only way I really could save face would be to meet him.

But then he may convince me that being in a relationship would be a good thing.

"Fuck," I muttered, sitting down on the bench behind me. Why was I such a pansy when it came to things like this? I ran my hands over my face, keeping them over my eyes for a moment, breathing and trying to decide what to do.

"Just be honest with him," a voice said.

"Holy-" I jumped and almost stumbled over the bench. My hand flew to my chest as I stared, wide-eyed at Jay who stood in the locker room doorway, eyebrow raised. "You can't just do that! Fuck," I gasped.

"Oh, good to know the old Paige is back. I've missed you, for a while there I thought you'd never come back," he said.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that since you came back you haven't been the same Paige I remember meeting ten years ago. But recently, I've been seeing glimpses of that fiery 18 year old who burst out onto the scene ready to be a champ. I'm beginning to think PJ has something to do with that." Jay said.

It was true, when I had first met Jay I had been so young and so full of optimism. Life and experience had kind of ruined that infallible optimism for me.

I was silent for a moment as I sat back down slowly. "Do you really think he has something to do with it?" I asked, glancing up at Jay.

He shrugged, "I just notice you smile a lot more when he's around. Well, not just him, but all the Rookies, but especially when PJ's there."

"They just, remind me of when I was new to the company, y'know? They know they'll have to work their asses off to make it anywhere here, but they have that belief and confidence that they can make it happen." I said softly. Jay sat down next to me, placing an arm around my shoulders.

He nodded, "that's true, and that's just how you were. That's how you became women's champ, the Golden Diva, one of the greatest women wrestlers this company has ever seen. I've missed that girl, with all the confidence in the world, the most sarcastic tongue I've ever heard, and a heart of gold."

I sighed, blinking back tears, "you're going to make me cry."

He squeezed my shoulders. "Is that such a bad thing?"

"Nope," I answered, "so I should go talk to him, huh?"

I looked up at him and he smiled, "in a round-about way I was getting to that," he laughed, "but yeah, I think you should."

"I honestly don't know if I can handle someone breaking my heart again Jay. After what Phil did, I was so crushed." I whispered.

"Do you think PJ will do that to you?" he asked.

"I didn't think Phil ever would," I replied softly.

"One, he's not Phil," Jay rubbed my back, "two, no risk, no reward."

I rolled my eyes.

"So you'll go meet him?" Jay asked after a few moments of silence.

I nodded, taking a deep breath, "yeah." I stood, picking up my bag and moving toward the door. I stopped and looked back at Jay, opening my mouth to thank him.

He cut me off with his hand and shook his head, "you're welcome."

We smiled at each other and then I left the room, heading toward the parking lot.

~x~

PJ was leaning against the hood of my rental car, arms folded over his chest, staring down at his phone and chewing his lip anxiously.

I couldn't help the soft smile that curled my lips. "Hey," I said softly as I got closer to him.

He straightened up, pushing off the car. He blinked at me, "I didn't think you were coming," he murmured.

I looked away, pushing my hair behind my ear. "Yeah, I'm sorry, Jay felt like being chatty."

He chuckled softly and a silence fell between us as I took a couple steps closer to him before setting my bag down.

I didn't know how to start, where to begin. I was lost in this endless maze of questions and possibilities. I usually felt so in control of situations, but when it came to PJ I always seemed to be on the uncertain, precarious edge. Ready to tip over in oblivion without so much as a cautious glance down the giant chasm of acceptance of the unknown.

"I don't want to assume anything," PJ said softly.

I glanced up to find him staring at me intently, with his soft eyes.

"But I don't want to make things progress too quickly."

"Okay," I whispered, still standing awkwardly a few feet from my rental car as he leaned back against it. The dark sky behind him suited his complexion, blending in with his dark hair, creating the perfect back drop for his soft eyes, and listless cadence.

He stood and took a step toward me.

I swallowed nervously.

"Last week, the kiss..."

"Was amazing," I confessed.

That small, yet huge, confession seemed to ease the tension of his shoulders. "Yeah, that's putting it lightly."

"And no matter how many times I try to convince every one else and myself, I still think it meant a whole lot more than it was intended to." I added.

"See, this is a case where I don't want to assume anything. I don't want to assume I know what you mean by that, or assume that I know how you feel. Because what I assume is contradicted by the way you've been avoiding me. So, what did it mean to you?"

I bit my lip. He had a point. The way I'd been feeling and the way I'd been acting contradicted each other exponentially. "It changed the way I looked at things, looked at us." He stared at me, waiting for more, coaxing me into making myself as easy to read as an open book.

I sighed heavily, "PJ, my heart still isn't healed after what Phil did, after all the past experiences I've had with love. I don't want to add you to that list of failures, I like you too much as a person. I just have this feeling that if we do become something more than friends I'm condemning you, and our relationship, to this unavoidable and undesirable fate. I don't want to hate you, and I don't want to regret you."

"You won't regret me," he murmured, he was close now, close enough to be able to lift his hands and frame my face with them. Our eyes were locked together now, neither of us daring to break our shared gaze. "I will never hurt you purposefully."

"You have no idea how many times I've heard that, and how many times someone has broken that promise." I whispered.

"Let me prove it to you." One of his hands left my face to intertwine his fingers with mine. He lifted our intertwined hands to his lips, kissing my knuckles. "Let me show you how perfect we can be together."

"I thought I'd felt perfection before PJ, and it almost killed me. I gave him everything and he left me with nothing," my voice was cracking as he leaned in closer, till there was no space between us and I could barely think straight, much less argue my point that a relationship would do nothing but ruin us.

"Stop making excuses." There he was, whispering in my ear again, making goosebumps rise along my skin and causing my face to heat up.

"I-" he stopped me gently, kissing me once, a brief press of lips. Enough to catch me off guard and shut me up.

"Paige, I like you, as so much more than a friend. After last week, and tonight, I don't think I can go back to just being your friend. So please, give me a chance to show you how great I can be for you, I promise, you will not regret me. Will you let me prove it to you," his voice was on the borderline of pleading and demanding, such a perfect mix of independence and credence, of tenderness and sensuality. And as he spoke his lips brushed mine, further articulating his words.

I sucked in a breath, and again he stole it from me.

If his words hadn't swayed me yet, his kiss convinced and reassured me all at one. It was easy, like breathing, but required enough concentration as to reap an amazing reward. I had the sensation of flying in my stomach, and chills rolled in criss-crossing paths over my limbs. My eyelids felt heavy, and I had to close them. My face felt hot, my cheeks certainly stained pink in the evening air. My scalp tingled, my toes curled. Any response possible, I gave in return to PJ's kiss.

"Just say yes, Paige," he murmured, lips still mostly against mine.

I smiled softly, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"Yes."


	16. Trying To Forget Everyone That Isn't You

_**It's a long chapter. So i hope you guys like it, and i hope you find it as great as i hope it is...Geez, there's a lot of hoping going on here.**_

_**Anyways, here's the next chapter. Thank you those who reviewed the last chapter. **_

_**Mahalo**_

_**xoxoxo**_

_**Angel **_

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't**_

_**Chapter 16- Trying To Forget Everything That Isn't You**_

When I woke up, I could've sworn last night, what had transpired between PJ and myself, was a dream. I blinked, thinking over the night before.

Amazing, that's one way to describe it.

I sighed softly, rolling over to pick up my phone, which is what had woken me up. I'd woken up an hour earlier and then lain in bed for a while, hopign I could fall back asleep. And then someone decided to send me an early-morning text message.

I smiled and forgot my lack of sleep when I saw the text was from PJ.

_Breakfast before we hit the road? Sorry if I woke you beautiful :)_

Yes, last night had been real, despite how dream-like it seemed.

I texted him back before getting up and getting ready for the long day ahead. I, along with PJ, Heath and Stu, would be driving to our next stop on the road. It would be a nice days drive.

I met PJ downstairs in the hotel's restaurant and once I was close enough he pulled me into his arms and kissed me softly.

"Good morning," he murmured.

"Morning," I said, blinking up at him. He grinned before leading me over to a table.

Breakfast was nice. Just PJ and I, talking like we always do, about simple things. The difference was that now as we sat across from each other, our hands were linked over the top of the table and whenever PJ looked up at me, he gave me this look that made my stomach flutter in a way that I hadn't felt in a while.

Our food came and as we ate we continued talking. After a short lull PJ spoke in a thoughtful voice, "I've been thinking."

"What about?" I asked, taking a sip of water.

"On whether or not we should go public with our relationship."

Well, that was an issue that earned deep though. And until that moment I hadn't really thought about it.

"Well, what do you think we should do?" I asked.

He smiled at me slightly, "wait until you're thoroughly convinced that we will last."

"That may take a while."

His smile broke and I felt bad instantly. I sighed heavily, "that...came out wrong."

"I hope so," his smile was back and it was evident he knew that I didn't mean what I'd said and that I wasn't trying to hurt him. Hurting him seemed like an incredulous occurrence.

I stared at him, looking over his features. His insanely attractive features. Tanned complexion, bright eyes, perfect hair.

He was distracting me, so I looked away.

Two women sitting in a booth against the wall were glaring at me and staring at PJ adoringly all at the same time. I smirked. It wouldn't be so bad if PJ and I went public. But a part of me believed that once we revealed our relationship to our coworkers than shit would hit the fan. I wanted to take a while for us to cement things together before we took on any adversity.

"I think you have a point, we should wait." I said, looking back at him.

His eyes came back to mine as well and just by his smirk I could tell he'd been watching the two women just as I had.

"Come here," he said.

My eyebrows furrowed, "what?"

"Come here," his grin widened.

I rolled my eyes but got up smoothly and sat down in the chair next to him. He placed his arm over the back of my chair and leaned in close to me. His forehead touched mine.

"But I think we should show those two ladies that i'm yours," he whispered.

I felt my cheeks burn slightly and I knew I was blushing. I was pale, so my blush always showed up. All throughout my teen years I had hated how easily I blushed. It's part of the reason why I had formed my cool and controlled mask.

PJ, though, had unknowingly figured out all the ways to crack that mask.

"Okay," I murmured back as he leaned in, capturing my bottom lip between his and leaving a soft kiss there.

I smiled as I kissed him back, placing my hand on the back of his neck, fingers dancing along his hairline.

We broke the kiss and he leaned closer to me, although it seemed impossible to do so, and I felt him turn his head into my neck. He placed a kiss there and then paused.

He pulled back, a smug look on his face.

"Do they understand it now?" I asked, biting my lip.

"Definitely," he said, "c'mon, we have to meet Stu & Heath and get on the road."

-x-x-x-

"You guys ready to hit the road?" I asked, tugging my hoodie onto my arms as I approached my rental car.

Heath, Stu and PJ were all standing by the car, talking, but as I approached they stopped their conversation and all greeted me. PJ's gaze met mine and we both smiled instantaneously.

I tried to not make it obvious that I wanted to jump him and spend the car ride making out with him in the backseat.

Because PJ and I had agreed not to go public with out relationship yet. Which meant Stu and Heath couldn't know yet. Which meant PJ and I would have to keep public displays of affection to a minimum. It sucked, be we'd have to make it work for now.

"I'll start off the rotation boys. 3 hour shifts sound good?" I asked. Usually when we drive together we'd take turns driving so that the others could sleep, or relax or whatever. And we'd take turns on who would drive first because the first driver always took a longer shift.

"Sounds good," PJ said and then smiled, "I call shotgun."

It was pretty early in the morning, still a few hours till noon. PJ was probably guessing the other two guys would spend the early hours sleeping.

I grinned, "alright co-pilot." Stu & Heath sleeping meant PJ and I didn't have to try as hard to act mostly indifferent towards each other.

"Fine," Heath grumbled as he got into the car and Stu followed suit. I checked the trunk to make sure it was closed. PJ met me at the back of the car, glanced at the guys in the car to make sure they weren't looking and then kissed me soundly.

I grinned and pulled back after a few seconds. "We need to get going."

"I know," he murmured, but pulled me back in for another quick kiss.

"Stop," I said, pushing against his chest half-heartedly. I pointed to the car, "go."

He rolled his eyes but did as told.

I got into the driver's seat and started the car. I tossed my iPod to PJ along with the cord to hook it up to the car. "Co-pilot gets to pick the music." It was another road trip tradition of ours.

"Sweet," PJ commented, scrolling through my numerous songs. He plugged it in and pressed play.

I grinned as Nirvana's _Smells Like Teen Spirit _started playing. It was my favorite song, and I wondered if PJ knew that or not.

Maybe this road trip wouldn't be so bad.

-x-x-x-

Three hours later, I was thinking differently.

Stu and Heath were both still awake and they were chatty. PJ had fallen asleep once he realized the two in the backseat wouldn't be sleeping any time soon.

Heath had been keeping me entertained, telling me stories about their times back at FCW, and stories about his life at home. He was a pretty hilarious guy, he had me smiling most of the time, and Stu laughing as well.

The Brit had sent me glances every once in a while, curious ones. I was confused by his looks, but shrugged them off.

Finally he spoke, "so, you and PJ are talking again."

Oh. That's right. Last time I talked to Stu, I was still avoiding PJ. He must've been waiting for PJ to fall asleep so he could talk to me about it.

"Yeah, we...talked things out. We're cool now," I replied, keeping my eyes focused on the road. But I did send a quick glance sideways. My eyes met PJ's, which were open. Maybe he wasn't as asleep as Stu and I thought. But he stayed silent.

"Really? It was that simple? You two just suddenly decided to act like adults." He didn't sound convinced.

I rolled my eyes, hoping he could see my expression in the overhead mirror. "I took your advice okay. I talked to him about it. We were both tired of avoiding each other. I was really tired of not being able to talk to him."

I could feel PJ's gaze burning a hole into the side of my face, but I kept my eyes glued to the road.

"Hmmm, alright. Well, at least PJ will be acting normal now," Stu murmured.

"I hope so, he's had a stick up his ass for the past week," Heath grumbled, "he's been horrible to have around."

"And I'm sitting right here," PJ said.

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me, it bubbled past my lips.

Heath guffawed, "sorry man, didn't mean anything by it."

"I'm sure you didn't," PJ said, trying not to laugh himself. Heath's expression was priceless.

After that Heath made a point to stay silent, and eventually fell asleep. And we all could tell it was a deep sleep because he was snoring.

"I'm going to try to get some rest as well, wake me when it's my turn," Stu said, before getting comfortable in the backseat, putting his earphones on, and closing his eyes.

I glanced over at PJ about twenty minutes later.

"Were you awake the whole time?" I asked.

He grinned, "yeah, I've never been able to sleep much in cars."

"I've noticed, you never usually sleep while we drive." I was the exact opposite. The minute I wasn't in the driver's seat I would be out.

I grinned as PJ reached across the middle console of the car and took my free hand, lacing our fingers together.

"What do you want to talk about?" he asked.

I shrugged, "dunno, anything really. To keep me awake."

"I can take over if you want?"

"Nah, I only have an hour till we switch anyways. I'll make it."

He was silent for a few moments before he turned the music volume down, "what's your favorite color?"

My eyebrows furrowed at the oddball question. "Ummm...I have two actually. Gold and purple. Why do you ask?" I glanced over at him.

He shook his head, "I just...we've known each other for a few months now, but I don't know as much about you as I'd like to."

"So we're playing one-sided 20 questions?" I asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Essentially, yes."

I grinned, "alright, continue."

"Favorite movie?"

I bit my lip, "I don't know if I have one, that's hard. I love Rent, and, don't tell anyone this," I glanced over at him and he feigned zipping his mouth shut and locking it with a key, "but i'm a sucker for movie musicals. I'll watch any of them, no matter how horrible."

PJ was grinning at me, "I never would've guessed that."

"Yeah, I know, I don't look like the romantic comedy type of girl. But I do like a chick flick ever now and then."

"All right, how about favorite food?"

"Grilled cheese."

"Really?"

"Really. I haven't had one since i've been on the road. Catering just never has them in stock," I joked.

"Favorite dessert?"

"Plain cheesecake."

"Animal?"

"Horse. I actually used to own a couple. When I had a bigger house."

"Really?" He asked, sounding curious.

"Yeah, I had a house a few minutes out of the city, with some land. I had two horses, Esperanza and Serenade. I sold the ranch and the horses when..." I broke off and PJ raised and eyebrow. I swallowed, "when I moved in with Phil. I moved all my stuff from that house into storage and had to sell the horses because there was nowhere I could keep them."

He was silent, but lifted our entertwined hands to his lips. He kissed my knuckles before letting our hands drop onto his thigh, where they stayed.

I smiled softly and waited for him to continue asking his questions.

"Song? I think I know this one already, though."

"I think you do. How? How did you know my favorite song is Smells Like Teen Spirit."

"The morning I ran into you, before you came to work out with me and the guys, you were humming it. You hum it a lot actually," he replied.

I smiled as I stared at the road, "you're very observant."

"I try to be."

"What else have you observed about me?"

"Well, you have a very small circle of close friends, which tells me you don't let people in easily." I nodded, that was true. "You're very loyal, and you admire loyalty. Once someone breaks your trust, you don't give it back to them readily. You like romance, but you're not one to be overly romantic." He smirked as I shot him a raised eyebrow. "It's true," he said, shrugging.

"It is," I sighed. I'd never been good at romance. Never really had any practice at it either.

"Hmmm, let's see. Your sides are ticklish, but not as much as your feet. You're humor isn't always understood because of your sarcasm. Your weakness is a man with an accent."

I smiled softly and blushed. He knew he was right.

"You have an extremely sensitive spot on your neck that makes you shiver when I kiss you there. You like holding hands rather than hugging. When you're uncertain, nervous or bored you chew your lip or the inside of your cheek. When you're stressed you run your hand through your hair. You blush easily. And you wish you weren't driving right now so you could kiss me."

I was chewing at my lip and he squeezed my hand to get me to stop.

I pulled the car over suddenly. "It's your turn to drive." I turned the car off, left the keys in the ignition, got out of the car and starting walking around to the passenger side. PJ met me halfway, pulling me to him, locking an arm around my waist and kissing me with a passion that shocked me, but I also reciprocated. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me.

He was like a drug, I concluded. An addictive drug that had no negative side effects. It was a drug that made you light-headed and happy, one that you'd be happy to fall under the influence of. I was easily becoming hooked, but I found I didn't care. I wanted PJ, I wanted him around. It was obvious he wanted me around as well.

How long had he felt this way though? He knew all these things about me without me telling him. It was weird to think that someone watched you that much, or noticed so many little things about you. But it also made my heart warm and my cheeks to warm to think that someone like PJ was paying that much attention to me. It was flattering. It was effective. And it was making it so hard to doubt that our relationship would work.

"Paige," he murmured, placing a kiss on my jaw, "do you think we should get back in the car?"

I rested my head against his chest, "in a minute."

I felt him chuckle softly as he rested his chin atop my head. "We really need to start driving again, before those two wake up."

I sighed heavily, "fine," I muttered, pulling back. He held me in place as I started to walk away, and kissed my forehead, then he walked around the front of the car, to the driver's side and got in.

I smiled to myself as I got strapped myself into the passenger's seat.

I was easily being convinced that PJ and I could make it through the long run.

-x-x-x-

Stu woke up not long after PJ started his shift driving and he volunteered to go next. It was mid-afternoon now, and the sun was blazing outside our car. It was mid-May, almost officially summer. I was a warm weather type of girl. I'd rather be in shorts and a tank top than bundled up in a scarf and peacoat. I was looking forward to sunshine and beach-weather.

I was still sitting in the passenger seat toward the end of PJ's shift, but promised Heath that we could switch places when Stu took the wheel. We had stopped for food shortly after Heath had woken up, which was about halfway through PJ's driving shift. We'd opted for fast food, even though it was unhealthy and we were currently on time.

PJ pulled over and yawned as he got out of the car. I stepped out as well, stretching my arms over my head.

"Finally in the front seat," Heath said with a mini fist pump. I laughed slightly and rolled my eyes as I got into the backseat and PJ slid in next to me.

I smiled at him before turning around slightly and pulling my blanket out of the trunk. I always brought a blanket with me on the road from home. It was useful during road trips, and it always felt more comfortable than hotel sheets.

I spread the blanket out and offered half of it to PJ. He grinned, sliding closer to me and tucking the blanket around us. I rested my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes, and fell asleep instantly.

~X-x-X~

Stu was driving, trying to ignore Heath's horrible taste in music. He glanced at the overhead mirror, and in the reflection he saw PJ and Paige curled up together under a blanket. Paige's head was resting on PJ's shoulder and his head was atop hers.

He tried to ignore the nagging voice in his head that kept taunting him with the idea that maybe PJ and Paige hadn't just talked things out and gone back to normal. Maybe they'd talked things out and gone to the next level.

Stu didn't want to think about it, seeing as he was attracted to Paige just as much as any other man. But he held a tender spot for, and couldn't help but thinking about what it would be like to be her man. He had already told her he'd protect her, but he wanted to be the one she could go to for anything, the one she could tell anything to.

He had further evidence though that PJ and Paige were much more than friends. He'd woken up in the car hours earlier to hear PJ and Paige talking. He'd tried very hard to ignore their voice and go back to sleep but against his will his ears tuned in to their conversation.

He'd heard most of their conversation about how observant PJ was. And despite how hard he tried to return to sleep and forget what he'd heard, he couldn't. So he'd stayed silent and unmoving until well after their conversation had ended. He'd volunteered to drive next so he could keep his mind occupied on something other than how he'd lost his opportunity to ask Paige out.

Now, it seemed, driving wouldn't even be able to distract him and he found himself becoming quite irritable.

PJ grinned as he woke up to find Paige snuggled against him, her head on his chest and one of his arms around her waist. It felt almost perfect.

"You two awake?" Heath asked loudly.

"Shut up ginger," Paige mumbled as she sat up, rubbing her eyes. She shot a glare at the One Man Rock Band as she ran a hand through her hair.

PJ grinned. So she didn't like being woken up rudely. Just another thing he could add to his list of observations.

"We're heading in for snacks and a restroom break," Stu announced as he leaned in the open driver's side door. "Anyone need to go?"

"Yeah, I do. And i'm thirsty," Paige said, opening her door.

"I'm good," PJ said. Heath had opted to stay in the car as well and put in gas.

PJ got out of the car, stretching out his limbs which felt cramped from sleeping sitting up in such a small space.

"So, have you asked her out yet?" Heath asked suddenly.

PJ blinked, looking over at the man, "what?"

"Paige, have you asked her out yet. I mean, you two were just cuddled back there like two peas in a freaking pod. I hope something is going on between the two of you."

PJ sighed heavily. He wondered how angry Paige would be if he revealed to Heath that they were together, but Heath was his best friend on the road. He deserved to know.

"We are together actually. I asked her after the show last Tuesday," PJ said, his voice low.

Heath froze, dropping the soda which he was about to toss in the nearby garbage can. "No way!" he said, sounding surprised as he turned to PJ.

"I'm being serious. But we decided not to go public with it yet. You're the only person who knows besides Paige and I."

"You weren't supposed to tell me, were you," Heath guessed.

PJ grinned, "but I had to, you're my best friend man. How could I not?"

"I would've gotten it out of you anyway. I figured you would ask her, y'know. You two are kinda perfect together."

"I'd like to think so," PJ said, turning to peer through the window of the gas station shop. He spotted Paige, talking with Stu about something as they waited in line at the cash register. PJ smiled, she was the perfect one and he was just here standing by her side.

Stu wished Paige would just drop it.

"Why are you acting so strange? You've barely said a word to me, you're acting like I'm not here. Are you menstruating or something?" she asked sarcastically, arching an eyebrow as she picked up a bag of beef jerky and went to stand in line behind him.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He replied.

"Yeah, Heath said PJ was the one with a stick up his ass. Actually, I think it's just you. God, what happened from when we got in the car this morning till now that made you act like such a prick?"

"Nothing!" He spun to look at her, "nothing is wrong. There is no problem. I'm sorry that i'm not just a ray of sunshine all the time like you are." He wished that he hadn't exploded at her like that.

She looked satisfied though, "feel better now?"

He blinked at her, "yeah, whatever."

~X-x-X~

The rest of the drive was uneventful. Heath finished the last leg of the drive and then we had reached out destination. We went out to dinner and met up with a few of the other Rookies and Pros.

PJ and I kept a low profile, only sharing short glances when in the company of our friends. PJ would then walk me back to my room and leave me breathless from his goodnight kiss.

The system was working perfectly for us. It wasn't all that hard to keep from telling everyone that PJ and I were together. Well, it was easy until that Tuesday.

PJ and I had driven together to the arena, shared a quick kiss in the car, and then proceeded inside, going our separate ways.

I walked into the Divas locker room to find both Beth and Jillian inside.

"Hey girly," Jillian said, hugging me. I returned her hug before hugging Beth as well.

"Milena is here somewhere, she went to catering and hasn't come back yet," Beth informed me.

I nodded, setting my bag down. "So how have you guys been? I saw your match on Raw last night Beth, you looked kick ass," I said.

"I've been good, you know, me and the boyfriend got to spend the weekend together." Jillian said.

"Nothing new with me, just the usual," Beth said, "what about you."

"I've been about the same," I answered as I unzipped my duffel bag quickly and began rifling through it.

A piece of paper fell out and my eyebrows furrowed. I reached over and picked it up off the bench. My name was written on it in a familiar print, causing me to grin as I unfolded it.

_The curve of your hips  
Is stuck in my mind  
The taste of your lips  
So sweet that I find  
Myself lost in the thought  
Of our next embrace  
I see now I'm caught  
Without even a chase_

_- Shawn Self -_

_It's true, love_

_-PJ _

"What is it?" Jillian asked curiously, trying to peek over my shoulder.

"Nothing," I said quickly, foldign the paper back up.

"Nuh-uh, that is definitely not nothing," Beth said.

"I agree, did you see the look on her face?" Jillian said.

"And she's blushing," Beth said.

I was distracted by them as I began denying their claims and in my distraction Beth snatched the small piece of paper from my hand.

Jillian stepped over to her side as they both read over the poem.

I could practically hear their jaws hit the tiled floor of the locker room.

"What is this?" Beth asked, holding up the piece of paper.

"Why did PJ put this in your bag?" Jillian asked at the same time.

"Um...because he's my...boyfriend?" I answered.

"What!" They both yelled simultaneously.

"When, where, how?" Beth asked, shaking her head incredulously.

"Um, last Tuesday. In the parking lot of the last arena. He kissed me before he went on screen and told me to meet him after the show and he told me he couldn't just be my friend anymore after the kiss we shared." I answered, trying to cover all of their questions.

"What happened to you not being ready for a relationship yet?" Jillian asked.

I glared at her.

"I'm not saying it's a bad thing...it's just...you sounded so sure that you didn't want a relationship right now."

"Well, PJ convinced me otherwise. But anyways, you guys aren't supposed to know. We agreed to keep it on the down low, not go public with it yet," I said.

"Well then you shouldn't have told Jillian," Beth muttered.

"I didn't even tell you guys. You stole the poem from me." I said accusingly.

"The poem is really romantic," Jillian said.

I sighed, "it is."

"He's a good guy," Beth commented.

"I know," I agreed, "a good guy that i'm supposed to meet in catering once i'm ready." I said, remembering why I had been rushign through the contents of my bag eariler.

"Then why aren't you getting ready! You can't keep him waiting!" Jillian said, handing me back the poem.

I smiled at her. "Have I told you guys recently that I love you and wish you two were my real sisters?"

"Not recently, but we're aware," Beth said as the three of us shared a smile.

-x-x-x-

I caught PJ's eyes from across the room. I watched as his gaze traveled my body from head to toe and a pleased smile curled his lips.

"Do you like it?" I asked as I sat down next to him.

"I do," the look he gave me told me that if two dozen of our coworkers weren't in the same room as us he would've totally kissed me right then.

I smiled, bumping my shoulder with his, "gotta look good for the WWE Universe."

"Hmm," he hummed. "We've got a lot of time to kill, what should we do?"

I shrugged, "dunno. What are our options."

"Well, I have a pen, and several napkins so...we could play Hangman."

"I haven't played that since I was a kid," I said with a smile.

"All the more reason to play it," he said as he began to write out the blank spots for his phrase.

"Hangman it is then," I said.

The game was distracting, but it didn't completely take my mind off of what I was thinking about. As I had finished getting ready for the show, Beth and Jillian had asked me why PJ and I had decided not to go public with our relationship. They are my best friends, so I didn't hide my reasonings from them.

They'd asked me if I knew how hard it would be, and how much it was going to suck.

They were so right, because as I watched PJ stare at my phrase, trying to figure out what the hell it was, I really wanted to kiss him. But because of all the people around us, I couldn't. I wondered if he felt the same.

He glanced up at me, "is something on your mind?"

"Well...yes, actually. I told Beth and Jillian about us," I confessed. He raised his eyebrows. "Well, I didn't really tell them. They found the poem you hid in my bag."

He grinned, "so you did get it."

"Yes I did, but after they read it, it's not like I could've lied to them about it."

"It's fine, I told Heath."

"You did?"

"Yeah, durign the drive here, when you and Stu went to buy snacks and Heath and I were alone by the car."

"Oh, well then. We're not very good at this not telling anyone thing."

"Apparently not," he grinned. "WWE's Golden Lady."

I blinked and realized he had guessed what my phrase was. I smiled, "correct. How do you think we should handle this whole thing?" I asked, staring at PJ intently. "Should we go public or not?"

Instead of coming up with ideas on how to tell our friends and co-workers we were dating, he decided to continue our game of Hangman.

I sighed and watched as he wrote down the blank spaces for his phrase. Two words, six letters.

"That's a short phrase," I muttered.

He glanced up at me and smiled slightly.

"S," I said, resting my elbow on the ledge of the table, he wrote in two S's. "Seriously PJ, I mean, you think we should tell people, right?"

He pointed at the Hangman game.

"A"

It wasn't in the phrase.

"Yes, I think we should. It'll be easier."

"Obviously. Umm, T."

That wasn't in there either. My hangman now had a head and a body.

I sighed, "E."

He grinned, writing it in.

"So, how should we tell people?" I wasn't looking at the words anymore, but it seemed he wouldn't budge from the game. "K, Q, F, J," I said.

He rolled his eyes, knowing I was just saying random letters so I could lose.

I glanced down at the paper. My hangman had two arms and one leg now. My eyebrows furrowed. What letter had been in the phrase? The K. K was the first letter of the first word. I looked up at PJ and he was looking at me intently.

"M, X, I." I was just picking letters off the top of my head, staring at the ceiling, not even wanting to digest what the phrase might me. "PJ, seriously, how should we reveal this to everyone?" I asked, looking around the crowded room of catering.

In answer he tapped the napkin with the end of his pen.

I glanced down.

There, spelled out below the Hangman, was the phrase: K I S S M E

And so I did, in front of all of our co-workers in catering.


	17. Seems Like These Times Will Never Fade

_**Happy Easter! (it's still technically Easter here in my timezone...) And in your Easter basket, straight from the lair of the Easter bunny, is this super long chapter of Seasons. I didn't expect it to be this long...but...it just came out this way. And I like it.**_

_**So why don't you let me know if you agree/disagree. Drop me a review with your opinion. **_

_**Thanks for the reviews on the previous chapter. They mean so much to me as the author. **_

_**Hope everyone had an amazing day.**_

_**xoxoxo**_

_**Angel **_

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't**_

_**Chapter 17- I'm So Glad It Seems Like These Times Will Never Fade**_

"It appears hell has frozen over."

I rolled my eyes at Jay's sarcastic tone.

"It's bad enough that I didn't hear this from you, even worse is that I heard it from the Bella Twins. Paige, the _Bella Twins _knew before I did. I guess we're not as close as I thought we were."

I rolled my eyes again as I turned to face the Canadian. He was standing with his arms crossed over his chest, eyebrows raised, waiting for an explanation.

"It just sort of happened Jay. We were planning on not going public, but...we changed our minds, there wasn't time to tell you. Don't be so butt hurt about it," I said, giving him a look, "I was going to tell you once I saw you tonight, which wasn't until you so rudely attacked me with verbal sarcasm knives."

He smirked, "I would say I told you so."

"But you've reached your smug sarcasm limit for the day?"

"Something like that," he grinned, sitting down on the crate next to me.

I looked up as I heard footsteps approaching.

"So, today I've been hearing these crazy ass rumors that you got together with my Rookie," Matt said as he slowed to a stop in front of where Jay and I sat.

Matt glanced between Jay and I when silence returned him. His eyebrows furrowed, "you're joking, right? They're just rumors..."

"Well, actually," I slid off the crate, staring at my toes for a moment before glancing up at Matt, the shocked expression on his face is priceless.

"Hey, beautiful, I was looking for you," PJ's was suddenly there, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me in to kiss my forehead.

I grinned, looking up at PJ through my lashes, "well you found me."

"Wait, wait, wait. When the hell did this happen?" Matt asked, throwing his arms out in confusion.

PJ glanced up, "oh, hey Matt," his grin was flawless, and hiding the silent laugh I could feel rumble in his chest. I grinned and turned my face into his neck, shielding my face and muffling my laughter.

"So you didn't tell him either," Jay smirked, "now I feel a little better."

I couldn't contain my laughter any more and as I pulled back from PJ, I clamped a hand over my mouth as my shoulders shook. PJ and Jay joined in with bouts of laughter as well, while Matt looked slightly agitated for a moment longer before he reluctantly chuckled and shook his head.

After a few moments, my laughter had quieted slightly enough for Matt to speak.

"Well, I don't really know what to say...ummm, congrats. Honestly, I haven't seen you laugh in a long time, Paige," Matt said, and suddenly the situation had more serious tone.

PJ's arm was still around my shoulders and I felt his muscles tense before his hand squeezed my shoulder.

I gave Matt a small smile, knowing what he said was true. I myself hadn't laughed much since I'd broken my neck.

Just thinking about the injury made my neck throb. Unconsciously I rubbed the back of my neck as Matt turned to talk to Jay.

I looked up at PJ, who was watching me closely.

"You said you were looking for me?" I asked.

"Yeah, right," he blinked his eyes moving from my neck to meet mine, "we have a meeting with Creative to get to."

"Oh right, that," I muttered. I wasn't too excited about meeting with Creative. It meant we would be talking about our current storyline, as well as the end of NXT. I was hoping that the end of NXT would not entail my return to the ring, but who was I kidding. Stephanie had told me that she could only buy me so much time. And I was quickly reaching my 18 month mark of non-activity. Vince wouldn't put up with much more. I knew the man liked me, but I also knew he didn't like me enough to keep me around as dead weight, and he also respected me enough to not force me to be stuck with a job as interviewer or announcer.

"Hey," PJ must have sensed my displeasure because he turned me to face him and tilted my chin up with his fingers gently, so my eyes met him, "everything will be fine, okay." His voice was soft, but his eyes held mine fiercely with so much conviction that I felt myself believing him.

I gave him a half smile, "okay."

He pressed a quick kiss to my lips as he linked our hands and then he turned us in the direction of the meeting room.

Talking with Creative wasn't so terrible. They mapped out the storyline between PJ and I, though they added in quite the twist.

"So, now that Wade Barrett is ranked number, you will be his manager. And well, let's just say he will want more than just your managerial skills." The head writer who was in charge of our storyline grinned slightly. "Stu has been filled in on this triangle we are creating, and I think the three of you will work well in this angle. Especially with the chemistry the two of you have. We know we started this storyline very late in the competition, but we are hoping to be able to continue it in some way, shape or form after NXT has ended."

I perked up instantly, "do you have any ideas as to what the Rookies will be doing after NXT?" I asked, glancing sideways over at PJ, who looked just as interested.

"We have begun to work on some ideas," the Creative member began, "but nothing is set in stone yet."

I'd been in enough Creative meetings to know when they were lying to you. And they were certainly lying now. They had a storyline planned, they just weren't leaking it to the Superstars and Divas yet, which meant it had to be big.

I glanced over at PJ, but he was nodding understandingly. He may be outstanding in the ring, but he was still new to the inner-workings of the WWE, and he didn't quite know his way around a Creative team yet.

I smiled at Creative, "great, is there anything else we need to discuss?"

They went over a few more details for our segments in the next three episodes of NXT. The last three episodes were to be filled with drama, and a lot of lip-locking for PJ and I.

The meeting ended and PJ and I both rose to leave, turning toward the door.

"Paige, can I speak to you alone for a minute," the request belonged to Stephanie McMahon and immediately my heart began to race.

My eyes connected with PJ's as he turned back to look at me. He leaned in close, kissing my cheek and whispering, "I'll wait for you in the hall."

I nodded as he turned and left. The rest of the Creative team filed out behind him and I was left alone in the room with Stephanie. I turned to the brunette. She wanted to talk to me for one of two reasons, so I immediately began to cover my first base.

"Stephanie, if this is about PJ and I, then I'm sorry. I know you and Vince don't condone relationships between Superstars and Divas, but you don't forbid them either. I promise you that our relationship will in no way effect how we handle our jobs and responsibilities-"

She held up her hand to stop me and smirked slightly, "this isn't about you and PJ. I have no problem with the two of you dating. If I'm to be honest, I think it's good for you. And I'm certain there will be no issues with job performance because of it," the way she said it made it sound like a demand. I nodded quickly in consent.

"So, this must be about my return to the ring then."

She nodded slowly, watching me closely, trying to gauge my reaction.

I took a deep breath, "okay then, what's the plan."

"After NXT ends, you will be placed back on RAW's roster. You won't debut the week right after NXT, we'll be putting together a promo package to hype up your return to the ring. And your first match will most likely be against the Bella Twins, and you'll catch them in the process of Twin Magic and score the pin via roll up, or some variation of that. It will not be a hard match. I'm willing to start you off easily and work you way up. But Paige, you need to start training again. You can't show any signs that you haven't been in the ring, my father won't put up with much slacking off and you know that."

I nodded, I had already guessed that Vince would only let me get away with so much. I inhaled deeply again.

"I know putting you on RAW is a big step and a big responsibility, but I think it's the best way to get your ass into shape and honestly, it is my only option besides letting you go."

I chewed on my bottom lip.

"You're a wrestler Paige, and I'd hate to present you as anything else on our programs."

"I know, and you're right."

She looked relieved. "Good, promise me you'll start practicing in the ring again."

"I promise Stephanie."

It felt hollow to me, but it seemed to convince her. We shared a smile before she dismissed me. "Oh wait, this came for you." She handed me an envelope and I thanked her quietly, staring down at the piece of mail in confusion. I shook my head, sticking it in my back pocket before heading for the door.

As I slipped out the door I heard Stephanie say, "you two look good together by the way."

I grinned as I stepped out into the arena hall.

PJ looked up as he heard the door open and smiled as he caught sight of my grin.

"I'm guessing it went well," he said, stepping towards me. I met him halfway and we began walking.

My smile vanished as I thought about what Stephanie had just told me. I would be switched to the RAW roster. That was a huge and sudden change of environment for me. I would definitely have to step up my game if I wanted to keep my job. It was a daunting task.

"They're putting me on the RAW roster after NXT." I said.

PJ blinked, "that's great Paige," one look at my expression told him that it most certainly wasn't, "or...not."

"I was just hoping that they would put me on Smackdown so there wouldn't be as much...pressure. And plus, I'd be traveling with the same group of people as I do now."

I didn't want to think about who I'd be traveling with if I changed brands. RAW was filled with several people that I didn't want to speak to, much less see every week.

"I think it'll be good for you," PJ commented, "and plus, we don't necessarily know that I'll be on a different brand than you afterward."

I didn't want to break it to him that if he didn't win NXT, he would most likely be sent back to FCW, or if he was lucky work dark matches on Smackdown, or even luckier, job on Smackdown live.

He just sounded so optimistic, so I let him be.

-x-x-x-

"Hey Stu," I greeted the British man as I met him at our set backstage for our segment.

"Hello," he replied, taking a sip from his water bottle. I nodded to Chris, who was also there for the segment.

"So you excited to be trying to steal me from my boyfriend?" I asked jokingly.

He choked on his water, causing Chris to crack up laughing.

Chuckling, I slapped his shoulder, "chill out, it's a joke. You're supposed to laugh."

He wiped his mouth and swallowed again before looking at me, no humor on his face

I grinned sheepishly, "okay, so it wasn't that funny."

"Not at all. I was unaware he was your boyfriend until a few minutes ago. After they'd already told me about the storyline," he said.

I huffed, "I have no issues with it, if you have no issues with it, Stu. I trust you, we're friends and I don't think you're the kind of person to try to steal someone else's girl."

"So, you and PJ..." Chris said.

I rolled my eyes, "yes, he and I are dating."

"That was...sudden," Chris commented.

"Not really," both Stu and I said simultaneously.

I glanced up at the taller man, "did you see this coming? Did PJ tell you about how he was going to ambush me?"

He didn't respond, just changed the topic, "I'm surprised you two are talking...you two usually just ignore each other," he said, referring to Chris and I.

He had a point. Chris and I had been co-workers for a long time, but we'd never been close friends or anything. We just cohabited the work space because we had to.

"Well, we don't hate each other or anything," I said looking at Chris to back me up.

He nodded, "we've just...always been co-workers, never close friends like she was with Cena and Orton."

My eyes widened immediately as the words slipped out of his mouth. Chris blinked, realizing the slip as well. "Ummm," he said awkwardly, "not that she was that close with them, she's always been closer with Jay and Matt."

Stu wasn't fooled, "since when have you been friends with John and Randy?" He asked.

I ran a hand through my hair, staying silent.

"Every time I see you and Orton or you and Cena in the same room you avoid either of them like the plague," his tone was accusatory.

"Umm..."

"Are you three ready to film this?" the producer of NXT asked as he approached the set.

I turned immediately and smiled, "yeah, we're raring to go."

/

After the segment I flitted out of there like a bat out of hell, and went looking for PJ. We also had a segment to record after his match.

I caught him right before he had to head out for his match.

A grin curled his lips as he saw me. As I reached him his hand slid into place on my waist as he kissed me softly.

"Good luck," I said.

"Thanks, I have something I want to talk to you about after our segment, okay?"

My eyebrows furrowed, "I'm feeling a little de ja vu here," I said.

He chuckled softly, leaning in to kiss me again.

"Hey, lovebirds, do I need to spray you two with water," Matt said, slapping a hand on PJ's shoulder. "We have a match to get to," Matt reminded PJ.

PJ and I rolled our eyes.

"Go get 'em," I said, and pushed at his chest, disentangling myself from him.

I watched him turn and walk to the curtain with Matt, a smile on my face.

/

We filmed our segment afterward and then we were told that when the show came back from commercial it was time for the Pros Poll to be revealed and the Rookies would be needed down by the ring.

I was scheduled to walk Stu down to the ring, and I saw the British man waiting with the other Rookies for the show to come back from commercial.

He glanced over at me and our eyes locked. I knew immediately that he still wanted to continue the conversation we had been having earlier. He made his way over to PJ and I and I fidgeted nervously, hoping he wouldn't bring the conversation up with PJ here. I'd rather not have to explain my previous friendship with two of the WWE's biggest stars.

"Hey PJ," Stu greeted, nodding at the man.

"Hey man," they fell into conversation, which didn't include me and two former WWE Champions. I was relieved, but didn't join in their conversation.

They called for the Rookies to line up in the order they were supposed to walk out, which meant I had to go with Stu.

I looked up at PJ and raised an eyebrow, "so we'll talk after the show?"

He nodded, "after," he said.

I nodded and walked off with Stu.

"What do you two have to talk about?" He asked.

I glanced up at the Brit, "umm...boyfriend girlfriend stuff," I said, flashing a grin before laughing, "seriously though, he didn't say, he just wanted to tell me something."

"Right."

And with that the NXT music started. Stu and I walked out first, and the rest of the Rookies followed.

The Pros Poll was revealed, Stu still slotted at number 1. Fred, aka Darren Young, was eliminated.

It sucked to see the guys eliminated, but even though they were technically out of the competition they still stayed on the road a bit. Bryan was present at the taping as well, since he had a segment with Michael Cole It was nice to not have them just disappear suddenly. But I didn't know what would happen after NXT ended.

I sighed, realizing the NXT finale would be in two weeks. It hadn't been revealed who the winner would be, and Creative was playing it off as if they had no plans for the other Rookies after NXT, though I suspected they did.

As we came backstage I hugged Fred, "hey, I thought you've been awesome on here." I whispered in his ear.

He chuckled softly, "thanks Rossy."

I pulled back, raising an eyebrow, "Rossy?"

He shrugged.

I hugged him again, "I like it."

The guys said their piece to Fred and then I told PJ I was going to go change and I'd meet him at my rental. But he stopped me before I walked away.

"Can we talk first?" he asked.

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion but I nodded, "yeah, sure."

He took my hand in his, linking out fingers together, as we began walking down the hall in the direction of the locker room.

"So, I've been thinking," he said.

"You seem to do that a lot," I commented.

He grinned slightly, "It just sort of happens. I can't control it."

I laughed softly, "okay, you've been thinking...about what?"

"I...don't take this the wrong way, but I think we're moving a bit too fast."

I didn't react at first, though I felt a little upset about it.

His eyes were watching me, trying to judge my reaction.

I opened my mouth to protest but he spoke again before I could

"Here me out, okay? We haven't even gone out on a date yet," he said.

He had a point. We hadn't been on a first date. I tilted my head slightly, "okay, you're making sense. So, I'm guessing you have a solution for moving too fast."

"Go on a date with me?" He stopped walking and turned to face me.

"Tonight?" I asked.

He grinned lopsidedly, "yeah."

"Do you already have something planned?"

His grin continued to grow, "yes."

"So you just expected that I would say yes and went ahead and made plans?"

He pulled me in closer, "I don't hear you saying no." He pressed his forehead against mine.

I turned my face away from him, trying hard not to cave. I knew one look at his eyes, and the smile he was giving me would turn me into jelly.

"Paige," his voice soft and sultry as his fingers gently turned my chin. He locked his eyes with mine, "please go on a date with me."

I sighed heavily, "fine."

His smile was huge and beaming as he pecked my lips and pulled apart to continue our walk to the locker room.

"But there are a few rules," he said.

I quirked an eyebrow, "rules? For a date?" I sounded incredulous.

He smirked, "yes rules."

"Okay, what are they?"

"First, no kissing." He said.

I couldn't help it, my eyes widened and my eyebrows hiked up. "What?"

He smirked, looking smug, "I'm glad you're so disappointed. But, the point of this is to act like it's a real first date. People don't usually make out on their first date."

"What's the other rule?" I asked in a mutter.

"Well, we act like two normal people going on a first date. Not two really close friends who have decided to take the next step." He explained.

I nodded, "okay, I guess we can make that work."

He stopped, "so, get ready and I'll meet you at the rental in 30 minutes."

He kissed me quickly and started walking away.

"Wait, PJ," I called after him. He turned back and raise an eyebrow. "Do I need to dress up...or...what?"

"Casual," he grinned and then he was walking again.

I blew out a breath as I walked into the locker room.

There was only one other Diva in there and I vaguely recognized her. She was newer when I got injured.

"Hey," she said, smiling tentatively at me.

"Hi, ummm...you're Victoria right? I don't think we've ever been properly introduced," I said.

She smiled naturally now, "yeah, I don't think we have. But yes, Victoria Crawford." She held out her hand which I took.

"Paige Ross," I replied.

"Oh I know," she said with a grin.

My eyebrows furrowed, "what's that supposed to mean?" I asked as I turned to my bag and opened it, searching for something casual yet appropriate to wear for a date.

"PJ talks about you all the time." She said.

I straightened up and turned to look at her, but her back was to me as she was adjusting her ring gear in the mirror, she was getting ready for her match on Smackdown I guessed.

"He's so into you. I'm glad he worked up the guts to finally ask you out. For once he took my advice."

"Umm, I'm sorry, but I'm kind of lost. Are you and PJ...good friends?" I asked.

She turned to face me, looking a little embarrassed, "oh, I thought you knew or...he'd mentioned something. But um, yeah, PJ and I are pretty good friends. We know each other from FCW," she explained and we could both feel how awkward things suddenly were.

"Oh, that makes sense. He's just...never mentioned you," I ran a hand through my hair.

Her eyes glanced around the room before she suddenly spoke, "I have to go. It's...almost time for my match, umm, bye." And with that she left.

"Bye," I murmured after her as I turned back to my bag.

That was really awkward. I tried not to think about how PJ hadn't mentioned he was close friends with Victoria. I didn't know her, and I didn't need to be that jealous, possessive girlfriend. I took a deep breath and focused on getting ready for the date.

-x-x-x-

"So, what do you feel like eating?" PJ asked as he started up the car. He had insisted on driving since he was the guy and he was the one taking me on the date. I'd let him just so he wouldn't argue with me.

"Food." I answered, dead pan. Acting like we didn't know each other past that of acquaintances would be super hard, and I was planning to make it even harder for him. My plan for the night was to try to make him break his own rules. My first attempt at that was the bright red lipstick I had on, and the slightly sloping cut of the shirt I was wearing.

"Don't be a smartass," he muttered.

"If this was a regular date, I'd totally be leaving you right now. It's not polite to call your date mean names," I said cheekily.

He rolled his eyes. "I meant type of food. Italian. Thai. Sushi. American," he sent me a sideways grin and chuckled.

"Hmmm," I hummed as I sat back in the seat, thinking, "how about Chinese. I know it's cheesy and cliché but I love Chinese food."

"I have no problems with that," he said. I got out my phone and searched for Chinese restaurants in the area and got him directions.

"Thank you co-pilot," he said as he turned off the car. He got out and I opened to door to get out.

"Wait," he said and my eyebrows furrowed but I stopped moving.

He gripped the door handle and pulled it open, smiling at me.

I realized he'd told me to wait so that he could open my door for me and help me out of the car.

He took my hand as I stepped out of the vehicle. "And they say chivalry is dead."

"They teach us differently where I come from," he said.

"I know, Americans are just rude," I said, and we both chuckled as we began walking toward the restaurant.

He opened the door, "ladies first."

"Just an excuse to look at my ass," I shot back as I walked through the doorway. He chuckled.

They seated us quickly and took our drink orders. The restaurant was nice, quiet and intimate. We were seated at a table for two, a small candle was lit in the center of the table. I had ordered tea which they brought quickly. I grinned as PJ took the clay teapot and poured me my tea.

"How many girls have you wined and dined with this?" I asked, a little baffled. "You are like, the most gentlemanly gentleman I've ever been on a date with."

He grinned, "I've never wanted to impress anyone as much as I want to impress you."

Our eyes connected and I smiled softly as butterflies were kicked up into a tornado in my stomach. "Well, I'm thoroughly impressed," I said.

He smiled softly, "good."

We ordered three dishes and shared them, talking about normal things. Types of musics, opinions on movies, light-hearted things. It was soft, easy-going conversation and I savored every minute of it. He talked about growing up in South Africa, what his parents were like. He spoke fondly of his father, who he'd lost at the age of 18.

"So, what about you?" He asked, "what was it like growing up as Paige Ross?"

I chewed my lip and he noticed immediately, but his eyes were gentle and patient.

"It was nothing special," I murmured, glancing down at the white table cloth before spearing a piece of sweet and sour pork.

I could feel him watching me, "you never really talk about your family or you past," he observed, "why not?"

"It's not the kind of story most people like to hear," I said, pursing my lips as I set my fork down, no longer hungry.

"Tell it to me anyways," he said.

I lifted my eyes to meet his. I knew he wouldn't push me if I refused, so I shook my head.

"Not...not now PJ."

He pressed his lips together and nodded as he looked away. "Alright."

He paid the bill and then opened the door for me on the way out. This time I made no comment.

We paused once we stepped outside under the overhang. It was pouring rain. I looked over at PJ to see his shocked face. "I'm guessing checking the weather report wasn't in your plans?" I asked with a smirk. He shot me a look before he noticed that I didn't even have a jacket. Instantly he shrugged out of his hoodie and held it over my head, "ready?" I nodded and we stepped out from under the shelter and into the rain.

We walked briskly to the car and I found myself tucked into PJ's side for warmth. He opened the car door for me, still holding his coat over my head. God he was sweet.

I got in the car and closed my eyes briefly. I tried to shake off the bad mood that had settled over me. PJ was trying so hard to make this night romantic and special as our first date. He didn't know my past, and he didn't know why I didn't like to talk about it. I couldn't blame him.

As he got inside he threw his now damp jacket over the middle console. "Well, change of plans." He said.

I raised my eyebrows at him, "what are we going to do now?"

He grinned, "I have an idea, don't worry." He seemed relieved that I'd decided to not be distant after our conversation.

He began driving but after a couple minutes he parked in front of a small grocery store. "I'll be back in a second. I just have to pick up a few things."

"There are so many terrible ways I can take that. Are you looking to score some and you forgot protection? Or..." I trailed off as he got out of the car. Suddenly the passenger door opened and PJ leaned in, letting the rain slant into the car and sprinkle heavy droplets onto my jeans.

"Not funny Paige," he said. Our faces were close, and I really wanted him to kiss me. I wet my lips unconsciously, but before I could even move, the car door was closed again and he was running into the grocery store.

I sighed and leaned back against the seat, trying to ignore the sudden rapid beating of my heart. I rubbed my temples and breathed deeply. I hadn't felt this type of insane attraction or connection in a long, long time. I could feel the tenderness and adoration ooze off of PJ and it was amazing to be the object of someone's affection.

It was frightening at the same time. I agree with PJ, maybe we were moving too fast. I didn't want us to rush into this. Moving too fast could lead to the downfall of our relationship.

But at the same time, I didn't want to slow things down. The high that I felt with PJ was amazing and just his simple smile lit a fire under my skin. With PJ I felt carefree and at home, he was comfortable and welcoming and I trusted him.

It would be way too easy to fall in love with him.

The driver's side door opened and PJ slid into the car, his hair wet and plastered to his forehead. I grinned slightly as I leaned over and pushed his hair out of his face. He paused, his eyes finding and locking with mine. I smiled softly at him.

He grinned, setting the plastic bag he had returned with on the floor in the backseat.

I leaned over, trying to see what was inside but he gently touched my cheek to get me to look at him. "It's a surprise."

I bit my lip, "okay. Where are we going then? It's still pouring out."

"Indoors." He answered vaguely as he started up the car.

I was confused as he drove back to the hotel and gave the rental over to valet.

"What are we doing here?" I asked.

"Going indoors," he answered as he walked alongside me into the hotel. He was carrying the plastic bag from the grocery store in one hand, and his other hand he held out to me. I took it, I guess holding hands wasn't against his rules.

My confusion and curiosity grew as we stepped into an elevator and rode it up the floor the WWE Superstars and Divas were staying on.

"I don't think taking your date back to your room is proper first date etiquette," I commented dryly.

He rolled his eyes, but a smile still tilted his lips, "I don't hear you complaining."

"Never said I was," I muttered.

He squeezed my hand.

"So your room or mine?" I asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Your sarcasm isn't appreciated," he replied.

I couldn't help it, I smiled at him and bumped his shoulder with mine.

"But to answer your question," he said, "your room."

I led us to my door and unlocked it, this time I held the door open for him. We shared a smile and laugh. Once inside I set my purse down on the little table in the entry way before following PJ inside.

He was already in motion, preparing something. He had a paper plate on the small table in the room, and a candle set beside it. The flicker of a lighter caught my attention, as the flame took to the candle's wick.

I squinted at his little set up on the table, wondering what he was doing. I sat down on the bed and watched him.

I watched as he pulled out two Hershey chocolate bars, a box of graham crackers, and a bag of jumbo marshmallows. The pieces seemed to come together in my head as a huge smile appeared on my face.

"We're making s'mores." I said.

He glanced over his shoulder at me with a grin, "yes."

He handed me a plastic fork with a marshmallow stuck on it. I grinned as I got up from the bed and took the fork. I sat at the table across from PJ and held my marshmallow over the small flame.

"This is...creative," I said.

I looked up as PJ stood. He turned the main lights off in the room, leaving only the small lamps on. Then he pulled his pulled his iPod out and placed it on my speakers. I brought my iPod speakers with me whenever I went on the road, and now they were on top of the dresser.

The volume was low, the song was soft and relaxing and added to the mood.

"You're good at this," I said as I placed my marshmallow between the graham crackers.

"At what?" He asked.

"Being romantic." I answered, "I don't have a romantic bone in my body. I couldn't be even if I tried."

"I guess I'll just have to be extra romantic for the both of us," he said as he let his marshmallow burn over the candle.

I grinned, "that's how I like them. They're not good until they're on fire," I said. He laughed and nodded in agreement.

He leaned back in his seat as he finished making his s'more. "So, what about me do you find attractive?" He asked.

I quirked an eyebrow, "do you want a serious answer?"

He rolled his eyes, "yes."

"Oh, well, for starters..." I trailed off as my eyes traveled from his head downward. He looked smug as I looked him over.

"Your hair is gorgeous," I said, reaching out across the table and letting my fingertips slid along his scalp, through his silky locks.

I pulled my hand back, "your body is pretty perfect. Your smile is breathtaking."

"What about non-physical things?" He asked.

I grinned, "your accent."

"Anything else?"

I was silent for a moment before I responded, "you're very observant, you notice little things and remember them, and it's really sweet when you show that you have been listening. Oh, that too, you're a good listener, and you don't judge. Unlike myself, I'm super judgmental. Hmmm, what else?" I tapped my chin as I studied him. "Sometimes it's like you can read my mind, you know just how to react in certain situations to keep me calm. You're incredibly gentle, and you approach situations in a calm, clear-minded way. You're not overly arrogant or confident, but you know your strengths and weaknesses. You-" his thumbed smoothed over my bottom lip and I instantly stopped speaking.

"No need to over inflate my ego," he said.

I grinned, "okay, then let's inflate mine. What is it about me that you find attractive?" I asked as I pulled out another pair of graham crackers.

"Well, certainly not your use of sarcasm," he joked.

I faked a gasp of shock and hurt before sending a marshmallow spiraling at his face, hitting him in the forehead. I grinned at my perfect aim. He didn't look amused. My eyes widened as he suddenly reached for the bag of marshmallows, his hand disappearing into the hole, his fist returning with a handful of marshmallows.

With a wicked grin he fired the handful of marshmallows at me. I instantly ducked away, sliding out of the chair, managing to dodge most of the projectiles.

It turned into a full-out war pretty fast. PJ continued to throw marshmallow missiles at me while I proceeded to through bits of Hershey chocolate at him. I ran out of chocolate quickly and then attempted to steal the bag of marshmallows from him by tackling him to the floor. He caught me around the waist as we fell, laughing, and landed with a loud thump on the floor. My sides hurt from laughing so hard, and I could feel the tears at the corners of my eyes.

Suddenly, PJ's laughter slowed, but I could barely breathe. It had been so long since I laughed like this. Unbridled and happy, beaming laughter that made my body feel light and electric and senseless.

PJ's fingers wiped at my tears of laughter, and trailed down my cheek, ghosting along the edge of my lips. I sobered at the sensuous trail of his fingertips.

"Honestly, Paige, everything about you is attractive to me," he confessed in a whisper, his eyes moving slowly over to meet mine. My breath hitched in my throat and I swore he was going to kiss me, but then suddenly we were both in a vertical position and he was getting to his feet, offering me a hand to help me up.

I blinked at the sudden movement and change of the atmosphere in the room.

"I think it's time to say goodnight," PJ said with a small smile. He looked around at the marshmallows and chocolate pieces on the floor, "I'm sorry about the mess."

"Don't worry about it," I mumbled, following him as he made his way to the door. He opened it and turned back to look at me.

He cupped my cheek, his thumb sliding over the rise of my cheekbone, and I anticipated a kiss which never came. Instead he pressed his lips to my forehead, "good night," he murmured.

"Night," I replied as he stepped out into the hall and I closed the door.

I turned around and leaned back against it with a heavy sigh. I couldn't believe he had actually stuck to his guns, and hadn't broken his rule of no kissing. I felt completely cheated out of a romantic and sensual date.

But I couldn't really complain, the night had been absolutely wonderful. Almost perfect. Almost.

I suddenly straightened. If I wanted to kiss PJ I could go to him right now and do just that.

With my resolve held tightly I turned and opened my hotel room door.

The shock of realizing PJ was already standing there on the other side of the door wore off quickly as I threw myself into his arms. He caught me easily as my legs encircled his waist and his arms locked me against his solid chest. Our lips met in an explosion of all the pent up tension that hat built throughout the night.

I don't know how long we stood out in the middle of the hall, kissing like the rest of the world didn't exist, totally lost in one another, eyes closed, lips fused, arms holding each other tightly.

It was one of those perfect moments. And it was absolutely beautiful.

As our kiss slowed and our lips disengaged, I noticed I was pressed between PJ and the wall. I smiled up at him as he rested his forehead against mine.

"I've been dying to do that all night." He whispered. A small, shared confession that set my chest on fire and my stomach aflutter.

He stepped back, allowing my feet to touch back to the ground. He stole another quick kiss, "I think you might be locked out," he commented.

I smirked, "you wish, my key card is in my back pocket," I said.

"Let me get that for you," he murmured, his hand reaching around, fingers sliding into my back pocket. A shiver rolled down my spine and I couldn't help myself as I pressed a trail of kisses to his jaw.

He turned his head, our lips meeting again. I felt him move, but was blissfully unaware of it all as he kissed me. I heard he click of the lock and then the door open.

"Goodnight Paige," PJ murmured as he turned me toward my room, hand on the small of my back to guide me.

I glanced over my shoulder at him, "thank you for tonight. It was perfect."

He looked happy and relieved, "mission accomplished then."

I laughed, "I'll see you in the morning."

"Until then, I'll dream of you."

His words were spoken when his back was already turned and by the time I leaned through the door to stare at him in shock, he was unlocking the door to his room.

I closed my door and leaned back against it, breathless, smiling and, dare I say it...

Giddy.


	18. Broken Down On Memory Lane

_**I'm sorry it's taken forever to get an update for you, but it's here now and I hope you guys enjoy it! Hopefully now that it's pretty much summer vacation I'll be able to update more consistently and frequently. Here's to hoping.**_

_**I only own Paige Ross, that is all! **_

_**Read, review & enjoy**_

_**xoxoxo**_

_**Angel **_

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't**_

_**Chapter 18- Broken Down On Memory Lane**_

I didn't understand why the letter had come. Or whatever it was, I couldn't open it. For some reason she had taken the time to find the WWE's address, because she surely didn't have mine, and addressed this...envelope to me.

As I sat on my hotel room bed, I stared at the crisp white envelope, letting it lie on the comforter of the bed. I let out a breath, biting the inside of my lip. Finally, I bit the bullet and picked up the envelope, hooking my thumb under one edge of the seal and ripped it open.

I pulled out the card and stared at it for a few minutes.

What the hell was this?

/

"Morning," I greeted as I neared PJ, who was standing next to my rental for me. I pecked his lips quickly, "is it just gonna be us?" I asked.

"Yeah, Stu, David and Heath said they'd ride together, and I didn't want you to have to drive alone." He said.

"And its an excuse to be alone with me for six hours," I said with a grin as I opened the trunk and went to put my bag.

"It was one of the positives," he said as he snatched my bag from me and loaded it into the trunk.

I smirked at him, shaking my head slightly as he loaded up his own bag and then closed the trunk. Then we got into the car, me plugging in my iPod and handing it to PJ to pick the music.

When we weren't horribly singing along with the music we talked easily, sharing stories about incidents we've had backstage at various different promotions and such. It was nice. And then suddenly he asked a certain question.

"What was the envelope you got last week?"

I froze and locked up immediately and he seemed to notice and quickly went to smooth things over.

"Y-you don't have to say anything, I was just, curious."

I blinked and stared at the road for a moment, telling him what it was wasn't really a big deal, but then he'd ask more questions. Questions I didn't really want to answer.

I glanced over at PJ, our eyes meeting for a brief moment, and I realized then that if PJ and I were going to have a lasing, functioning relationship then I'd need to fill him in on things. No matter how badly I didn't want to tell anyone about them.

"It was a wedding invitation," I let out a breath.

His eyebrow's furrowed, "who's wedding?"

I swallowed, "my sister's."

He was silent for a moment, "okay...when is it?"

"Two months."

"Are you going to go?"

"No."

He seemed a little surprised by my answer, "why not?"

I took a deep, slow breath. "Because, my family and I don't talk. We haven't talked in over ten years."

When I glanced sideways at him he looked bewildered. "You and your family don't talk?"

"That's what I just said, isn't it?" I regretted my tone instantly and sighed, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap. It's just..." I paused, not sure how to phrase what I wanted to say, "my family isn't something I talk about, it's something I don't even like to think about."

"Over ten years," he mumbled, "you haven't talk to then since you were a teenager?"

"I haven't spoken to any of them since I was sixteen, when my father disowned me."

"What? Why would he do that?"

"We didn't agree on my future."

"And that's something family's can usually work out, by talking."

My fingers tightened around the steering wheel, "my father isn't much for negotiating. He's kind of a dictator, you do what he says or you get thrown out of the house. And he doesn't bluff about it."

"I-I don't understand. Paige, just tell me what happened."

I chewed my lip, "I lived in a really small town, only 200 people. My parents are old fashioned. My father was the provider, who went to work every day, my mother was the perfect housewife, staying home to raise the five kids, cook and clean. I have two older brothers, when I was a teen one of them was already married and out of the house. Aaron is a year and a half older than me, Thomas is three years older than me. I have two little sisters as well.

"The high school we went to was tiny, there are more WWE Superstars than there were students there." I laughed bitterly.

\ "My parents expected me to become the perfect wife, only attend high school, meet a nice boy from a nice family, get married soon after graduation and pop out a couple kids before I'm even twenty-five. No room for a career, no room for what I really loved to do." I took a breath, "professional wrestling was forbidden in my house. My parents saw it as 'inappropriate entertainment from the devil, no one should be promoting violence like that and is most certainly not suitable for a young girl to be watching nonsense like that.'" I put on my best imitation of my mother's Southern accent. I'd long since buried my own accent, I wished to forget everything from my childhood.

"I wasn't the only rebel in my town, there was another. A boy, Joey, but he was more of a closet rebel. He was a year older than me, and my parents approved of him. They gave him their blessing, it was kind of like an arranged marriage. But we used it to our advantage. He had a car, and we both wanted to get out of that hell hole. So when we were allowed to go out on dates we would really just drive to Knoxville and we'd go our separate ways. It worked for the both of us. He'd go hang out with his friends from the city and do whatever he wanted to, and I'd go find a wrestling promotion that was hosting a show. That's where it all started for me.

"Obviously, good things come to an end, my father found out that we weren't really going on dates, but instead Joey was taking me to the city. When they asked me what I was doing in the city, I told them the truth. I told them I was wrestling. My father lost it. He told me to pick, wrestling or my family. It was obvious I didn't fit in with the small town, I wasn't all that close with any of my siblings, and I would never meet my parents expectations. So I chose wrestling. My father told me that I was no longer his daughter, because no daughter of his could be a disrespectful whore." I paused, remembering that day clearly, my father's words still rang in my ears.

"Didn't your mother do anything?" PJ asked, finally speaking.

I barked out a laugh, but it was humorless, "my mother? My mother never once stood up to my father. She was completely submissive to him, and even if she did disagree, she never spoke her opinion out loud. She just stood by and watched him throw all of my belongings out the front door." I shook my head, "my mother never said goodbye to me, and never tried to contact me."

"So, you just left? Where did you go?"

"The only place I knew, I scrounged up a ride to Knoxville. Found the owner of a local promotion, lied to him about my age so that he'd let me train with his guys and then wrestle for his promotion."

"How old were you when you started wrestling with him?"

"Sixteen, almost seventeen. Wrestling was my only shot, I'd dropped out of school, so I didn't even have a high school diploma. I had to be convincing because if I didn't get the training right away, I wouldn't have made it to 18. I would've been broke, homeless, and starving. I was that most off the time, but I could usually find a place to stay with one of the other wrestlers, when Ed found out I was only sixteen, he and his wife took me in, but he let me continue wrestling. The only reason he let me continue wrestling underage was because he recognized my potential and my guts. I wouldn't have stopped wrestling even if he told me to. It was all I knew, it was the only thing I was good at, it was the only place I was accepted. It's not like I could go back home either."

"So, your siblings..."

"Haven't seen any of them since I left. Not once."

"But you got a wedding invitation."

"Yeah, to my little sister's wedding. I don't know why, but I got one."

We were silent for a long while, and I knew PJ was having a hard time processing everything I had just told him. I didn't feel like talking about it any more, or answering any questions on the subject, for I searched for something to switch the conversation to, but I was coming up blank.

"Paige, I'm sorry you had to-"

I cut him off with the shake of my head, "there's nothing for you to apologize for. It's not like you can change anything. I'm over it, I've moved on with my life and in doing that I promised myself I would never have contact with them again. Ever."

I reached over and turned the volume of the music up. There would be no more talking.

/

We stopped for food and I could tell that PJ was still at a loss for words. I tried to let go of the tension that possessed my muscles whenever I talked about my family. I forced myself not to be angry or upset with PJ. He didn't know the history or the bitterness between my family and I. He was just curious because it was strange not to share things about ones family. Everyone else bragged about nieces and nephews, joked about siblings, complained about parents. I never did any of that. When someone mentioned family I stayed silence, and hoped no one would ask me any direct questions.

I took a deep breath as PJ and I got back into the car, I was so tired of the silence, and I was over our conversation.

"Say something," I whispered, ducking my head down slightly as I turned to face him, trying to catch PJ's downward cast gaze.

His eyes lifted to meet mine, "I don't really know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything about...my family. But I can't stand us not talking for the rest of the drive," I said.

We were silent for another long moment. I through myself back against the seat with a huff and ran my hands through my hair, suddenly feeling exhausted.

PJ started the car, pulled out of our parking spot and turned back onto the road.

"Have you thought about training?" he asked suddenly, shattering the awkward and tense silence that had separated us like the Berlin wall.

"I guess I have thought about it. I kind of have to, seeing as I'll be starting back on RAW soon," I murmured.

"Like I said, I'll help you. That offer still stands Paige."

I bit the inside of my lip and nodded, "I know, I just," I paused with a heavy breath.

"You just what?" he asked, reaching over and taking my hand in his, "you know you can tell me anything Paige."

"I know that. It's just...I'm so afraid of getting back in the ring. And I don't know if I want you to see me so..."

"Weak?"

"What?" My head snapped up.

He squeezed my hand, "that's what you meant, right?"

I shrugged, "yeah, or something like that."

"Paige, weak is the one word I would never use to describe you. You are a strong, intelligent, survivor of a woman. I couldn't be more proud of you. I admire you so much for the strength you have and your honesty."

I tilted my head as I look at him, "how'd I get so lucky to win a guy like you. You're like, every girl's dream guy. You're romantic, sensitive...attractive, charming, sweet, and a million other things that make you irresistible."

"We're getting off topic," he grinned as he brushed his lips over my knuckles.

I'd been caught, damn. "Oh right, getting back in the ring."

"You really should Paige. Honestly, seeing you work your way through your fear won't make me think any less of you."

I was silent for a moment before I turned my head to look at him, "do you promise?"

He glanced over at me quickly before letting go of my hand and extending his pinkie finger. I locked mine around his with a small smile.

"Promise," he murmured.

/

My shoulders sagged with a sigh as I placed my hands on my hips, standing backstage as NXT's second the last episode began. The Rookies were down by the ring. Only four were left, Stu, David, PJ ad Heath. The rest of the guys were currently backstage with me, just hanging out. Only Daniel had a segment that night, but the rest were still kept around for the finale next week.

"Hey Rossy," Fred greeted, throwing an arm around my shoulders, "what you thinking about?"

"Obviously her mind is occupied with only thoughts of PJ," Bryan said jokingly.

"PJ in the ring," Fred said.

"PJ at the gym." Bryan said

"PJ in catering."

"PJ in his ring gear."

"PJ in her hotel room."

"PJ in the shower."

"PJ in her-"

I punched Fred in the shoulder to get him to stop. "Shut up! You guys are terrible!"

"She's just angry that we can read her mind like that," Bryan whispered to Fred behind his head.

I cocked an eyebrow, "oh yeah, you guys were totally right about everything," I remarked sarcastically.

"These two were right about something?" PJ asked as he showed up beside me, "that's a surprise."

I laughed with a wide smile as PJ wrapped an arm around me. "Ready for our scene?"

"No, i'm totally unprepared to make out with you, I'm so out of practice," I commented with a smirk.

"Well we could practice right now, we do have an audience," PJ said, leaning in close enough for our noses to touch.

"Ew, gross! Get out of here! My innocent eyes do not need to witness this," Bryan said, covering his eyes with his hands.

I rolled my eyes, "c'mon," I said to PJ, turning us around and walking down the hall.

_[On Screen]_

_ Athena grinned confidently up at Justin Gabriel as she stood with him backstage._

_ "Now I know you don't need any luck out there, as talented as you are, but I'm afraid I don't have any other excuses to kiss you," she said, placing a hand on her hip. _

_ "You don't need an excuse," he grinned, leaning in and capturing her lips. _

_ "Athena! Ath-" Wade Barrett broke off his call as he came upon the two._

_ The former Women's Champion separated herself from Justin quickly, blinking at Wade. _

_ "Um, hi Wade," she fluffed her hair as she tried to recover from her heated kiss with the South African who was now standing awkwardly beside her. "Were you looking for me?"_

_ "Yes, it's time for us to go down to the ring," the Brit replied, glaring daggers at Justin. _

_ "Oh, right," she chuckled awkwardly, "let's go then," she walked past Wade, who followed after a last icy glare directed at Justin._

_ The camera stayed on Justin who ran a hand through his hair and blew out a breath. "Wow," he muttered._

_ The camera then switched to the arena as Jericho's music began. Chris Jericho, followed by his Rookie Wade Barrett walked down the ring, accompanied by Athena. Wade had an arm placed possessively around Athena as he led her to the ring. He held the ropes open for her and she ducked into the ring. As Wade removed his jacket he handed it to Athena. _

_ She narrowed her eyes at it, but took the coat reluctantly before tossing it over the ropes when Wade turned away. She then exited the ring, stepping away to stand near the ramp to watch the match._

_ Matt Hardy's music began as Justin Gabriel made his entrance, a wide smile on his face as the fans immediately burst into cheers. _

_ The camera cut to Athena, who was smiling as she watched Justin slap fans hand. Then the lens slid to Wade, who was frowning deeply as he watched Athena and Justin._

_ The match started and Athena tried to remain impartial, but every time Justin took a hard hit she flinched slightly. And when he was downed, she rallied the crowd for him, much to Wade's dismay._

_ In the end, with a stunning 450 splash, Justin won the match and Athena slid into the ring next to Justin as he held his ribs. He grinned as the ref lifted up his arm and he stood with a wince. Athena placed a hand on his back as the ref let go of Justin's arm. He turned to her and surprised her when he suddenly wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close to him, kissing her. _

_ She wrapped her arms around his neck, her body slamming into his with the force. He winced slightly because of his throbbing ribs. She pulled back suddenly, apologizing as her fingers brushed his ribs gently. _

_ He shook his head and then led her toward the ropes. She went to hold the ropes for him but he shook his head and held the ropes open for her instead. She rolled her eyes but exited and stepped out onto the apron before holding the ropes open for him. He grinned before slipping through the ropes and jumping off the apron. He turned to Athena and then scooped her off the apron bridal style. He carried up the ramp a few steps before the pain in his ribs was too much and she told him to set her down, which he did. _

_ The show cut to commercial and when they returned, the Rookies were lined up for the Pros Poll. Heath was eliminated, with Wade still ranking in first place. After a short interview of the guys thoughts the show ended, leaving the final three Rookies with one more week to show why they are the WWE's next breakout star. _

_[off screen]_

I couldn't wipe the grin off my face as PJ and I came backstage. "That was a great match," I told him, my arm hooked around his.

"One day we'll tag team in a match together," he said, looking down at me.

I nodded before pecking his lips. "Now go take a shower, I'll go grab ice for your ribs." I pushed his shoulder to get him moving.

"Hey, girly," an arm was suddenly wrapped around my shoulders as I was pulled into someone's chest. I pushed back slightly, I recognized the voice immediately.

"Jay, lay off, I'm a taken lady."

He rolled his eyes, "me too."

I laughed and he joined me.

"So, you and lover-boy doing good?" He asked nonchalantly.

I raised an eyebrow, "why do you care?"

"Because you're my friend, and if he's not treating you with the resepct you deserve I'll have to...I dunno, speak with him."

"You're really not good at this Jay," I commented. We chuckled and then grew silent. "I told him about my family." The words came out suddenly before I could stop them.

Jay looked surprised, "really?"

I nodded with a breath, placing my hands on my hips, "yeah."

"How'd he take it?"

"He didn't really know what to say. I'm glad I'm told him though, now it's out there."

"That's a big thing for you. Are you okay?" Jay asked. He was one of the few people who knew everything about my family. Not even Matt, Beth or Jillian knew. I had confided in Phil, but besides Jay, he was one of the select few that knew the full story.

"I-I'm good, it still stings to talk about it. But it's been a long time, I'm over it."

"What brought it up?"

"I got a wedding invitation, to my sister's wedding."

"Really?" He sounded as shocked as I felt.

"Yeah..."

"You're not going to go, are you?"

"Definitely not."

Jay pulled me into a hug, "they don't deserve to be even related to you. You're too good for them." He murmured.

If only my family could see that.

"All right, I'm supposed to go get PJ ice, he's probably almost out of the shower by now," I said, stepping away from Jay. "I'll see you later."

"'Kay, be good."

"Scouts honor." I saluted him before heading to the ice machine. I scooped ice into a bag and then made my way back towards the locker rooms.

As I was walking one of the locker room doors opened up and Phil stepped out into the hall. We made eye contact and I knew there was no way I could walk by and just ignore him. Plus, from the look on his face I could tell he had something to say.

I slowed to a stop a few feet from Phil, who stared at me for a moment before clearing his throat. The air was thick with the tension we both exuded as well as the awkwardness that was always present when we were around each other now.

"Is it true? You're with PJ?" he asked.


	19. Time Doesn't Care About Anyone

**_Here's another chapter of Seasons. Hope you guys enjoy this one. The next one shall be quite dramatic, me thinks._**

**_Thank you for the reviews. I love them dearly!_**

**_xoxoxo_**

**_Angel _**

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't**_

_**Chapter 19- Time Doesn't Care About Anyone Or Anything**_

PJ stepped out of the shower area with a pair of basketball shorts on, toweling dry his air.

"Paige?" he called out, but received no answer. No one was in the locker room, by the looks of it, most of the guys had already packed up and left.

She had just gone to get ice, he couldn't imagine what was taking her so long. His eyebrows furrowed as he tugged a shirt on over his head, and tossing his things into his duffel bag he decided he'd just find her wherever she was.

He bent down to tug his shoes on, but the shooting pain in his ribs stopped him short. He decided to sit down on the bench and put them on. It would take longer, but it would give Paige time to show up if she was on her way back to the locker room.

He had his shoes on, his bag packed, and she still wasn't there.

"I'll just go find her," he mumbled to himself as he stood and shouldered his bag. He left the locker room, heading down the halls to where he knew the ice machine was headed.

As he was about to turn the corner, familiar voices stopped him.

He slowed to a halt, listening.

"Is it true? You're with PJ?" A male voice asked. PJ could've sworn that the voice belonged to Phil Brooks.

"It is true, Phil," a feminine voice replied, a voice that PJ immediately recognized as Paige's. He could pick that voice out of a crowded, noisy room.

The silence that followed gave away Phil's shock.

"And he makes me very happy," Paige's voice was satisfied and smug, and footsteps followed, signaling that she was leaving Phil.

She rounded the corner, and her eyes found PJ immediately.

_Paige's POV_

I smiled as my eyes met PJ's. "Hey, you come looking for me?" I asked.

He grinned, "yeah, took you long enough to get me my ice," he complained.

I walked up to him and placed the ice pack roughly against his ribs, causing him to hiss, "oh, my poor baby," I said jokingly.

He sent me a playful glare and then placed his hand over mine, to hold the ice in place. "I got it," he said.

I smiled, grabbing the strap of his duffel bag, "then I'll take this."

"Deal."

We turned and headed down the hall, talking about his match earlier that night.

We had almost reached the exit when the clacking of heels a voice stopped us.

"Paige, PJ."

Turning together, we found Stephanie McMahon walking towards us, a beaming smile on her face.

"Hey Steph," I greeted the woman as she pulled me into a hug.

"Hey you, that was great scene earlier." She turned to PJ, "I could practically feel the tension and animosity between you two guys over Paige. It was great. How are you two feeling about the storyline?" She asked, looking between PJ and I.

I shrugged, "it's a million times better than some of the ones I've been in, in the past. Namely the Chris Masters storyline," I said, giving Steph a pointed look.

The brunette rolled her eyes, "I know, you'll never forgive me for letting my father put you in that one. How bout you PJ?" She asked, raising a brow at my boyfriend.

He grinned, "I'm enjoying. I feel like the fans have a good reason to like me and get attached. It's also a chance for me to work on my acting skills."

"Not that you're acting in half the scenes we do," I said, arching an eyebrow.

He grinned at me, "I don't have to act like I'm attracted to you."

Stephanie was grinning from ear to ear, "I'm so glad this has turned out so well. Have you seen the response from the WWE Universe. It's been ridiculous, they love the two of you together. Definitely one of the better ideas Creative has had lately," she crossed her arms over her chest with a satisfied nod.

PJ and I glanced at each other, smiling.

"Alright, I'll let you two go. Have a nice night. I'll see you both at the finale next week." Stephanie said, patting my arm softly before walking around us and heading on her way.

We left the arena, hopping in my rental, and headed back to the hotel, opting for a night in.

As I unlocked the door to my hotel room I looked over at PJ. He was grinning from ear to ear, but he wasn't saying anything. I couldn't figure out what had put him in such a good mood.

"Why are you grinning like the cat who caught the canary?" I asked as I set his bag down by the door.

"Do I really make you happy?" He asked in reply.

My eyebrows furrowed as I kicked off my heels. I was more than ready to change out of the skin tight dress I was wearing. I was kind of confused by his question.

"Isn't that obvious?" I said as I reached behind myself, trying to get to the zipper of my dress. That's when I realized why he was asking. He had heard my brief conversation with Phil, he had been just standing right around the corner.

PJ's fingers moved mine aside as he took the zipper and pulled it down slowly. I held my hand against the front of the dress, to keep it in place. I turned around to face PJ.

"You heard what I told Phil," it wasn't a question, but a statement. It was obvious that he had overhead it.

A corner of his mouth twitched upward, "yeah."

I smiled back at him briefly before it faded into a serious expression. "You do make me happy. Happier than I've been in a long time."

I touched my lips to his, intending it to be a short, innocent press of lips, but he held onto me, locking me in place with one hand on my hip and the other on the back of my neck.

I melted into the kiss, not able to fight it because it was PJ, and every thing about him appealed to everything in me. I went to move my hands, to run my fingers through his hair, when I felt my dress slip. My hands instantly retreated, pulling the material back into place.

As much as I hated doing it, I broke the kiss, "PJ," I tried to pull back, but he sucked me back in momentarily. "PJ, seriously. My dress is going to fall off," I said, placing one palm flat on his chest, trying to hold him at bay.

He arched an eyebrow, "is that a problem?"

I rolled my eyes, before pushing his shoulder playfully, "pervert." I stepped away.

He grabbed my hand before I could move out of reach and he kissed my fingers softly, his eyes locked with mine. "No, admirer," he corrected.

I felt my cheeks heat up. "I-I'm going to go change," I said, clearing my throat as I grabbed a pair of shorts and a t-shirt from the top of my suitcase and then slipped into the bathroom, closing the door behind me and leaning back against it with a breathy sigh.

I stepped back out into the main room to find PJ lounging on the bed, flicking through TV channels. He looked up at me, watching as I tossed the dress onto my suitcase and stretched my arms above my head.

"What's on the agenda for tonight?" I asked as I flopped down on my stomach next to him.

He grinned, "room service and making fun of stupid TV shows."

"Sounds perfect," I grinned, reaching over to grab the room service menu off the nightstand before flipping over onto my back as PJ resumed going through the limited channels we had. "What are you hungry for."

"You." He answered, and I saw his lips twitch into a smile.

I nudged him roughly with my elbow, "contain yourself please. I know I'm irresistible, but focus for a moment. We're talking about food here, the one thing more important in my life than you."

Had I really just said that part out loud?

I turned the page in the menu, trying to play it off, but I could feel PJ's eyes burning a hole into me.

He suddenly took the menu from my hands and leaned over me slightly.

"Paige."

I chewed my lip as I looked anywhere but his face.

"Paige." He repeated my name.

I still wouldn't look at him.

He wasn't going to let it go, I could tell, so I sighed heavily.

"You were right," I said, finally meeting his eyes.

His eyebrows furrowed.

"You said you would prove it to me that you'd be great for me. You have."

"So, you could see us being together in the long run?" He asked softly, his eyes searching mine.

I pressed my lips together and nodded slightly, "yeah."

His smile was dazzling and he leaned in and kissed me.

"Good," he whispered as he pulled back. "Now, dinner?"

I laughed softly, "yeah, okay."

We ended up ordering in omelets as we watched some show about crazy and rude in-laws.

I scoffed and motioned at the screen, "you think she's bad, you should meet my parents. They're ten times worse."

"I could meet them."

I laughed, "and how would you do that?"

"If you went to your sister's wedding."

The sarcastic laughter bubbled out, "that's a good one babe." I looked back at him, and he was completely straight-faced. I sighed, "you weren't joking."

"No, I'm serious Paige. I think it'd be good for you to see them. She sent you an invitation because she wanted you to be there. Why else would she send you one?"

"I don't know, so she can show off her disappointment, bad example of a sister off to all of her friends," I replied.

"I don't think so Paige." His voice was adamant.

"_You _don't know my family."

"Neither do you."

"They're not worth getting to know," I muttered, looking away from him. We were silent for a few moments.

"Did we just have our first fight?" I asked, looking up at him, wanting for this conversation to be over. I suddenly felt drained, and all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and sleep.

"I, I think we did," he replied with a sigh, running a hand through his hair before letting it drop back down onto his knee. He looked at me.

"Just, think about what I said. Please?" His voice was much softer now, less demanding.

I chewed my lip as I nodded, "okay."

"I think I'd better be going, I have an early flight home tomorrow," he said, getting up off the bed.

I didn't want him to leave like this, when it still felt like we were on this awkward precipice. Hadn't I just told him I thought we could last, now look where we are.

I watched as he walked to the door and picked up his bag as I sat watching from my spot on the bed.

"PJ," I called out as his hand settled on the door knob.

"Yeah," he responded, turning slightly to look back at me.

I stood and walked to him cautiously. "We're okay, right?"

His smile was gentle as he let go of the handle and slid that arm around my waist. "Yeah," he said softly, kissing me forehead and squeezing me into a hug.

I smiled against his shoulder, "okay, have a safe flight."

"You too," he replied, "call me when you get in?"

"Of course. I'll see you in a couple days," I rose up on my toes and pecked his lips before he opened the door and left, heading down the hall to his own room.

I returned to my bed, pulling back the covers and sliding under. I fell asleep quickly, let the TV drone on in the background, but thinking over PJ's words like he had asked.

Maybe I should go to the wedding? She wouldn't have sent me the invitation for no reason.

But was I even ready to face my family. I'd told Jay I had moved on, and was over my family disowning me. But could I handle being face to face with them after all these years.

I sighed and rolled over, shutting my eyes and falling asleep.

/

I flew home to Knoxville the next day, while PJ flew home to Florida.

We were both scheduled to be home until Sunday night, when we would both fly back to the road.

It was nice to take a breather from all the constant traveling.

But I was already missing PJ.

The minute I stepped through my front door I was reminded of the year I spent alone in the house, nursing my broken neck and injured feelings.

I rolled my suitcase into my bedroom and then sighed.

If PJ and I were going to make this relationship really serious, and try to make it last, there were some things I was going to have to tell them. Just to get them out there.

Things that I really didn't want to talk about. Relationships that I didn't really want to bring up.

But I had to be fair to him, and give this relationship a fair shot. I don't like to hide things in relationships. I'm quite the open book, and I don't keep secrets.

I did keep one huge secret from Phil during our relationship.

He still didn't know.

And I had a feeling PJ would see me in a different light if he found out.

I still had to tell him, because if he found out from someone else, it would be even worse.

I dug through my purse and pulled out my phone, dialing PJ's number.

"Hey, love," he answered and I smiled to myself. "How was your flight?"

"I'll go." I said suddenly.

"Wait?" I heard the confusion in his voice.

"I'll go to the wedding, under one condition."

"And what would that be," he sounded happy, and proud of himself for getting me to go.

"You have to be my plus one."

"Deal."

"Okay, then. Oh, my flight was good."

He chuckled, "mine too."

We talked for a bit longer and just before we hung up PJ spoke. "Monday morning Paige. We're gonna get in the ring. No excuses, you're doing it." And he hung up before I could interject or complain. I stared at my phone before sighing and tossing it onto my bed.

I couldn't help the fear that gripped my heart just thinking about getting in the ring on Monday.

/

I stood in a pair of yoga pants and a sports bra, staring at the ring I stood in front of. I was rooted to the spot, just staring, feeling my heart suddenly pick up its pace, and my palms felt sweaty.

I was going to have a panic attack.

"Love," PJ took my hand in his, successfully gaining my attention as I turned my eyes away from the ring.

"Y-yeah?" my voice caught in my throat, so I cleared it.

"We're just going to practice holds, I promise you're not going to get hurt." He said, his voice soft and gentle.

I chewed my lip, "I-I don't think I can do it."

"You've gotten in the ring tons of times on NXT and you've been fine."

"But it hasn't been wrestling, I've just been standing there, talking."

"Well then, that's what we'll start with, okay?"

I swallowed thickly. He was going to be polite and supportive, but he wasn't going to let me back out of it. I was pretty certain that if I tried to run he would catch me easily.

I sighed, pushing my hair back out of my face, feeling my body shaking. I didn't know if it was fear or adrenaline.

PJ stepped closer to me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. "I promise I won't let you get hurt, I'll be right there with you. We'll take baby steps, Paige. I won't rush you into anything. But you need to at least start," he whispered in my ear. He kissed my temple after I nodded.

He leaned back, taking my hand in his, "ready?"

"Mhmm," I replied uncertainly.

I let him lead me to the steel stairs and he held my hand as we took them slowly. He led me along the apron and then held the ropes open for me. I hesitated and he quickly cupped my cheek in his hand, forcing my eyes to meet his. His gaze was reassuring and supportive, the exact look I needed. I nodded and then slid between the ropes.

Standing the middle of the ring was frightening, and I felt myself staring at the corner. Like I movie I could see myself climbing the turnbuckle, Randy slamming into the corner, me losing my balance and falling. I cringed as I heard the crack of neck hitting the apron echo in my eardrums.

I jumped when PJ's hand fell on my shoulder.

"You alright?" He asked.

"What do you think?" I snapped.

He didn't get angry, to tell me to calm the fuck down, he just gave me and understanding look.

"I'm sorry," I apologized.

He grinned sadly, "don't be. It's fine."

I took a deep breath, "okay, so... we're gonna work on holds?" I asked, turning to him so that I was no longer face the turnbuckle.

He nodded, a real smile taking the place of the sad one, "yeah. Let's get started."


	20. You Are the Dreamer, We Are the Dream

_**So as my darling Kiwi brought to my attention, we are halfway through the fic. Chapter 18 was actually the halfway point, which means this fic with be 36 chapters long...Yup, and I have each chapter planned out already, so I just have to keep writing.**_

_**A HUGE thank you to **KiwiStar**, **Nexusgurl450**, **I Wanna Party and Bullshit**, **DeathDaisy**, **nic-002001**, and **17dreamer1212 **for their reviews! I loved 'em, keep 'em coming please :) **_

_**As always, read, review and enjoy. I write all of this for you guys.**_

_**And to calm the craziness that is my creativity ;p**_

_**xoxoxo**_

_**Angel **_

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't**_

_**Chapter 20- And You Are The Dreamer, and We Are The Dream**_

"Hey, are you three excited?" I asked, slinging my arms around PJ and Stu's shoulders as I stepped between them as they stood talking with David.

PJ grinned at me, as did the other two Rookies. The three of them were all that were left in the competition on NXT. Tomorrow night was the NXT finale, and tonight after the RAW taping, we had decided to all go out to celebrate all the past contestants who had been voted off.

Every single one of the Rookies were at the club with us, as well as their Pros, along with some of the RAW and Smackdown Superstars.

David smiled at me, "hey, I don't know if anyone's said it yet, but thanks Paige. You may not know it, but you've really helped us out, or at least you helped me out. Adjusting to the road and the company was hard, it was nice having you there to give me some pointers and advice. I really appreciate it."

I smiled back at the man, "don't mention it. I had to learn all of those things the hard way, now that I'm a veteran here I gotta give back. Plus it was kind of part of my job to help you guys out. It's why they sent me here to you guys."

PJ looked at me, "you've done a lot more than you had to," he said pointedly with a shrug.

I rolled my eyes a little, lifting my shoulders, "so I'm a nice person, sue me."

David, PJ and I laughed, while Stu's eyes just watched me. I caught his gave and sent him a smile, which he returned.

"Alright, don't get too drunk, you guys do have to wrestle tomorrow." I said, patting David's back before I walked away.

"Ah here she is, my favorite Diva of all time!" Jay said as I approached the table that he, Matt, Chris, and Ron were all seated at.

"Why are you kissing my ass now Jay?" I asked with a smirk as I stood next to his chair, seeing as there were no empty seats.

"No reason, Chris just had a question." The blond replied before looking up at me as I raised an eyebrow at Chris.

"Girl, sit down, make yourself comfortable," Ron said. He must not have noticed the lack of chairs.

"There's no where to sit," I pointed at, with a slight smirk.

"I'll take care of that," Jay said and I felt him tug my waist, pulling me onto his lap. I let out an 'oof' before blinking wide-eyed. I turned slightly to look at Jay, glaring. He smiled widely at me, not intimidated in the slightest.

"Jay, I'd watch yourself. Her man over there doesn't look too happy," Matt pointed out, pointing over Jay's shoulder. My blond friend and I both turned to see PJ watching us with a raised eyebrow.

I sent him a smile before looking at Jay and rolling my eyes.

Jay turned back to Matt, and scoffed, "there's nothing to worry about. She's seated now, isn't she?"

"Chris, you had a question," I said, changing the subject.

"Oh yeah," he nodded to Jay, "I was asking Jay if he knew when you were turning to the ring."

"Then you walked over and it seemed like the perfect opportunity to get the answer straight from the source, since I've been wondering as well," Jay said as he settled his chin on my shoulder.

All four men had their eyes on me, waiting for my answer.

I smiled slightly, remembering that morning, my first time in the ring in over a year. It had been tough, it had been scary, but it had reassured me that with a little time and a lot of practice, I could make it back to where I was before my accident.

My smile widened as I looked at the guys, "it's soon actually. A couple weeks after NXT ends I'll be making me return to in-ring action."

Jay squeeze my waist, "well that's exciting."

"Yeah, I know. PJ and I have started training, to make sure I don't look like crap when I get in there."

"Like that could ever happen," Ron said, "look at you. You look better than ever."

"He's got a point, I've never seen you so happy and well...happy," Matt said shrugging.

My eyebrows furrowed. Had I never seemed happy when I was with Phil.

"Not saying that we thought you were always depressed or something," Chris interjected quickly, "it's just...with Phil...things were a bit different. You still had a lot on your plate back then." His blue eyes met mine, and in that moment, I knew that he knew.

I swallowed, "yeah, I did."

"And now, you just have to focus on being the greatest Diva ever. No pressure," Jay said, lightening up the mood which had suddenly darkened when Chris spoke.

"No pressure at all," I murmured as the guys laughed. Jay looked up at me, catching my lack of a smile.

"You okay?" He asked.

I nodded, "I'll talk to you about it later."

_x~X~x_

"You have no idea how terrifying this is for me PJ," I said as I stood in the corner, gripping the top ropes in my hands until my knuckles turned white and my fingers ached.

It was only my second time back in the ring, it still made my stomach quiver to step between the ropes.

"It's a drop kick Paige, I'll be fine, you'll be fine. I promise." He said, his voice low, patient.

I don't know where he got the patience, but at least he had it. I was not a patient person.

"I-"

He cut me off, "you can do it. I've watched your matches, I've seen you do it countless times before. It's no different now." His eyes were locked with mine.

I took a deep breath and stepped away from the ropes. I nodded, "o-okay, standing dropkick. You ready?" I asked.

He smiled slightly, relieved, like he hadn't expected me to move on so quickly. He nodded.

I nodded as PJ adjusted his stance slightly.

I inhaled, dug my feet into the mat before propelling myself upward, kicking my legs out, my feet touching PJ's chest in the perfect mark. I twisted over, my palms touching the mat, catching myself a fraction of a second before my knees touched the mat with a thud.

I looked over to see PJ propping himself up on his elbows with a proud grin. "That was perfect."

I felt myself smile as well.

/

Jay and Matt stood by the barricade, watching the two people in the ring in silence.

The two had decided to go work out the kinks of their match one last time, heading out to the ring through one of the side entrances, only to find the space already occupied.

Jay had stopped, his hand shooting out across Matt's chest to block him from walking out further. It also caused the dark-haired man to stop talking and to look up.

Paige and PJ hadn't heard them. The two were standing close together, talking about something. They both nodded and then moved apart from each other about a foot or so and took up stances. Jay watched as Paige flawlessly executed a standing dropkick.

But it wasn't the move, it was the words that followed which shocked him.

"For your second day back, I'd say you're doing pretty great, Paige," PJ said, rubbing his chest slightly where she had kicked him.

She sat down cross-legged in the ring, "I-I can't believe I just did that."

"Well, believe it, you did," he said.

"Vince will be expecting me to do my moonsault at my debut, I know it. D-do you think I'll be ready, by then?" she asked, her voice softening into a worried tone.

Jay's eyebrows furrowed. Only her second time back in the ring, but she had told him the night before at the club that she was returning in just a few short weeks. That couldn't be right.

"We're going to take it slow, but at this rate, I don't think it'll be hard for you to execute the move. It'll just be hard for you to get over the fear."

Paige flinched slightly and nodded.

PJ leaned forward, "it's all in your head," he said, touching her temple before leaning in and kissing her forehead.

"I don't think I can do it," she whispered, "I've always been better at physical battles than mental ones. And fear has always been something I usually lose against."

"I think you can. Like I said, I'll be right here for you, every step of the way until you can jump off that turnbuckle."

Matt glanced at Jay, "dude."

"I know," he whispered.

Jay was having a hard time comprehending it, but it sounded like Paige was afraid of getting in the ring.

She was afraid of wrestling again.

/

Beth and Jillian sat across from the two men, staring in disbelief, eyes wide, Jillian's mouth gaping, Beth's pulled into a tight frown.

"A-afraid of wrestling? Paige, there's no way?" Jillian said, running her fingers through her blond hair, looking from Jay, to Matt, to Beth, waiting for someone to agree with her.

"It, it makes sense though," Beth said, staring at the table before looking up at her three friends, "why she wouldn't talk about it, or she'd never give an exact date, or why she never mentioned training. Before the injury, all she ever talked about was wrestling, what new move she'd conquered or, whatever. No, she barely ever breathes a word about it."

"'Cause she's afraid that if she wrestles again, she'll break her neck again," Matt murmured.

"But she's afraid this time she'll die," Jay finished softly.

John Cena stood a few feet from the table where the four friends sat and stared at the wall in front of him, his fist clamping around the water bottle in his hand, denting the sides of it.

Paige, one of the greatest and most talented Divas he'd ever seen, was afraid of wrestling—the one thing he knew she loved more than anything else.

And it was all his fault.

/

I squeezed PJ's hand as they called the final three Rookies to line up before the show returned from commercial.

PJ looked down at me and I rose up on my toes, kissing him before pulling back and whispering, "good luck."

"Mm, thanks." He pecked my lips again before letting go of my hand and heading to where the stage hands were waiting with Stu and David. I shot the two other men a thumbs up and they returned the expression with smiles.

The show returned, the music began and they walked out. I smiled proudly as I watched the three men walking to the ring.

"Paige."

I turned when my name was called, snapping around to face whoever was calling for me.

My eyes met and clashed with a pair of baby blues and I immediately whipped back around.

"I know you heard my Paige, and I know you've been avoiding me since you came back."

He was behind me now, I could hear the frustration in his voice. I didn't turn to face him, I didn't want to face him. Ever.

"So what if I have?" I replied, crossing my arms, my eyes staring at the screen, but I didn't comprehend anything that was being said as Matt Striker spoke with the final three Rookies.

I wanted to get away. I needed to get away. But the only way out would be to run and that was a coward's move.

But I wasn't above that.

I turned to walk away but almost walked right into a solid, tanned, tattooed body.

I lifted my eyes, meeting another pair of blue eyes.

I sighed heavily.

"We need to talk Paige, all of us." Randy said, before looking up at the man who had called my name.

I turned my eyes to the side slightly, and John Cena stood, his eyes locking with mine.

"I don't want to talk," I said, looking at Cena, then moving my eyes to Randy, "to either of you."

"Tough shit, because there are some things that need to be said," John stepped forward, his hand gripping my shoulder.

I moved away quickly, taking two steps back so he could no longer reach me, "please don't touch me."

His face crumbled, "Paige..."

In the background I heard Matt Striker revealing the Pros Poll. But I couldn't focus on it, not when John was looking at me, trying to apologize.

"Don't even try to say you're sorry. You waited too long."

"This is a huge misunderstanding Paige. I-"

"Don't make excuses!" I was shocked by how loud my voice was.

A hand touched my shoulder from beside me and I reacted instantly, slapping the hand away and turning to see it had just been Jay. I muttered an apology quickly but he just shrugged it off, looking up at John and Randy.

"Now is not the time guys. Not here in the middle of things, I think this is a private matter."

"Well, I can only ever get her to talk to me when there's no way for her to escape," John said, motioning to the backstage area. I looked around, people were beginning to stare. I saw Chris watching, Matt and Ron at his side, the other Pros were gathered around as well. Their eyes flicking between the four of us and the screen.

The finale. John and Randy had distracted me so much I didn't even know what was going on. I looked at the screen, but before I could even begin to register that, John was talking again.

"Does he make you happy?" John asked.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" my own voice sounded frustrated and strained, "yes, yes John. PJ makes me happy—happier than you ever could have."

His blue eyes widened and Randy placed a hand on his shoulder, murmuring lowly for him to let it go until another time.

I turned to walk away.

John called after me.

"We will talk Paige!"

I scoffed and started walking. Lifting my eyes I found PJ watching me with a confused expression.

"What do you and John Cena have to talk about?"

_**End Part II: We Don't Fight Fair**_


	21. I Want Things To Change & Stay the Same

_**Well, damn. Look, another update! I couldn't help it, after your reviews, my inspiration kicked into overdrive and I HAD to write this next chapter :) **_

_**So, thank you thank you thank you to **KiwiStar**, **Nexusgurl450**, **DeathDaisy**, **nic-002001**, and **ShannonTheAwesomeOne**(hun, your review had me cracking up) for the lovely and amazing reviews. Keep telling me what you like, don't like, want to see, etc, etc...I'm always listening..well, reading...**_

_**Oh and I was curious the other day, so I checked how many reviews there have been for this fic and...it's reached 100, that's CRAZY! Thank you guys soooooo much for all the love. **_

_**Ready, review & enjoy**_

_**xoxoxo**_

_**Angel **_

_**PS- Also, this is the beginning of Part III out of 5...there are 15 chapters left! **_

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't**_

_**Part III: People Will Dissect Us Till This Doesn't Mean A Thing Anymore **_

_**Chapter 21- I Want Everything To Change And Stay The Same**_

"What do you and John Cena have to talk about?"

"It's nothing." I said, stopping in front of him.

"Paige, that didn't sound like-"

"It's nothing, I promise. Just let it go, for tonight," I said, reaching out to take his hands in mine and looking up at me.

"I don't believe you when you say it's nothing." His eyes met mine, "but I trust you."

He pressed his forehead to mine, "third place isn't bad, yeah?"

I blinked, realizing then that I'd been so wrapped up in my encounter with Cena and getting PJ to not ask about it that I had totally forgotten the big moment that had just happened for him.

"Not bad at all. I'm so proud of you," I whispered. I leaned back, my eyebrows furrowing, "I can't believe Otunga ranked higher than you! He sucks."

"Ouch, that hurts Rossy," David said as he and Stu walked backstage as NXT ended.

"Whoops, you weren't supposed to hear that," I said, watching as the Pros shook hands with Stu, patting his back, congratulating him.

"Looks like we have our winner," I said, motioning to the Brit. PJ nodded and then we both headed over to the tall British man to congratulate him.

I hugged Stu, telling him congrats and PJ shook his hand, telling him he really deserved to win.

The Rookies and Pros and other Superstars all stood around talking, enjoying the good vibe at the finale of the first seasons of NXT. It had gone over a lot better than many suspected it would

"I'd hate to cut the celebration short, but I'm afraid my father wants all of the Rookies, and Paige, in his office for a mandatory meeting." Stephanie announced as she stepped into our group.

My eyebrows furrowed as I looked up at PJ, who looked just as confused as I felt. Why did I need to be there for the meeting? I guessed I would just have to go and find out.

I shared confused looks with the other Rookies and then shrugged before I slid my hand into PJ's and we all began walking toward Vince's makeshift office.

Stephanie led the way, and when we reached her father's door she walked in without knocking, leaving all of us to trickle into the room behind her.

There was a large rectangular table, it looked more like a conference room than an office. Vince was seated at the table, as well as the members of the Creative Team. Stephanie took her seat and then motioned for all of us to sit down.

I sat in between PJ and Bryan. Glancing around the room, and then at Vince, who was speaking a low voice with Stephanie and one of the writers. I squeezed PJ's hand and leaned closer to his ear, "welcome to the world of the WWE. Get used to this feeling of fear and anxiety. First they make you feel anxious and confused and then they make is so suspenseful that when they pitch the storyline to you you're so lost and nervous that you agree to something ridiculous without even realizing it. It's how they get you. Trust me, I would know from experience."

He laughed under his breath before sobering, "you think we're here to receive an angle."

"Why else would we be here, especially me." I said.

He nodded, "you have a point there."

Vince cleared his throat and the nervous whispers that had started up among the Rookies died immediately as they all turned to watch their boss.

"Well, to ease all of your nerves, you are not here to be fired. You're here for quite the opposite reason, actually." Vince began. "We have been keeping the idea quite hush-hush because we think it is a creative and novel idea that will take the WWE by storm. This idea will be what sets all of your careers up in this company."

I raised my hand slightly, clearing my throat, "um, sorry to interrupt V—Mr. McMahon, but why am I here?...my career started...a long time ago."

He grinned, "I will get to the role that you will play later Miss Ross."

I put on a tight-lipped smile and nodded, going quiet once more.

"As I was saying," Vince continued, interlacing his extended fingers as he settled his elbows on the table. "You will form a faction called The Nexus."

"The Nexus?" Heath asked, leaning back in his seat with raised eyebrows.

"It means a connected group," Stephanie supplied.

The guys all made agreeable noises and nodded.

I chewed my lip, waiting for Vince to continue. If this faction was going to 'take the WWE by storm' it was going to have to do something big.

"The reason you will form this group is dissatisfaction and anger with WWE Management. Main reason being the way they treated you throughout NXT, and the fact that afterward only one of you received a contract." Stephanie explained.

"You'll perform random violent attacks on WWE Superstars and other employees, stating that you won't stop until you all receive contracts. We're keeping this storyline quiet so as to get the rawest responses we can from the locker room. We'll give you more details on your debut in the next few weeks, but we'll want you for the most part to take the reigns and improvise while you're out there. Make it as real and believable as possible. I want the fans to really think you're out to injure and take no prisoners."

"Well, except one," Stephanie said and her eyes fell on me.

I pointed to myself, "I'm a prisoner?"

"Not exactly," Stephanie said, and a grin settled on her face which I recognized. It was her self-satisfied and proud smirk. This was her idea and she loved it. Great.

"You, Paige, will have assumed that your days with the Rookies are over. On the night of their debut, before they make their appearance, Matt Striker will interview you about your thoughts on Wade Barrett winning and what you think the other Rookies should take from the experience and what not."

"But then I'll get further involved, won't I?"

"The following RAW, after the first attack from the Nexus, you'll be interviewed again on what you make of their attack. You'll defend them."

"And that's when I'll start my transition to being a heel." I stated and Stephanie nodded. "Great." I didn't sound too enthusiastic but I forced a smile onto my face.

"That is all we have for you at the moment. We'll meet again before RAW to over your debut. You're all dismissed," Vince said and the guys began to get up, smiling excitedly and beginning to chatter. "Paige, I'd like to speak to you privately," Vince added.

I sighed, not even getting out of my seat. PJ squeezed my hand before getting up and leaving.

After the door closed behind the last of the Rookies I turned back to Vince, leaning back in my chair, taking a less formal position. I sent Vince a smile, "so we're trying to turn me heel again. Let's hope it works this time."  
He grinned slightly, "this is exactly why I'm putting you in this storyline. You're not afraid to speak your mind. You're perfect for it." Vince said, looking pleased with himself.

"So, storyline talk?" I guessed, arching an eyebrow.

"Yes, we of course don't want your transition from fan favorite to heel to be too sudden. You will defend them in an interview but when they corner you in the following weeks you will be reluctant to actually join them due to their attacks on Superstars who are your friends."

I nodded, "okay. What makes me finally commit?"

Stephanie answered this one, "Wade Barrett threatening to take out Justin Gabriel if you do not agree to join the Nexus and become his..."

"Sugar on the side," I supplied for Stephanie.

She laughed, and then I laughed as well as Vince shook his head.

"Whatever you want to call it, yes," Stephanie said, trying to contain her grin. "They'll come out during your matches, distract you, all of that fun stuff until he makes the threat and you agree."

"What will make the fans hate me, because from that they'll be sympathetic."

"You'll begin to make the attacks with them, specifically when they begin targeting John Cena."

"Ah, I see...and there'll be these amazing video packages of flashbacks to when Cena and I were involved on screen and then to when I kick his head in or something and the fans will be like 'oh my gosh, she's such a terrible bitch! I hate her now despite the fact that I was totally cheering for her last week when she joined the Nexus to save her boyfriend'" I said in my best annoying fan voice.

Stephanie started laughing again, and Vince even chuckled.

I got serious for a moment, "I do like the idea of the Nexus though. God knows we gotta spice up the show somehow."

"Exactly." Vince said with a nod.

"So, first match back, when is it?"

"Three weeks."

I let out a huff, "well, okay then."

"Will you be ready?"

"Of course."

"Good, get yourself cleared by your doctor. I'm not sure who your opponent will be yet, but I will let you know when it's decided," he paused, meeting my eyes, "I want to get you back to that top spot in the Divas division. But I will not give you the push unless you look absolutely perfect in your first few matches. Don't mess things up."

I swallowed and nodded. "Yessir," we were silent for a few moments, "I'm guessing we're done here then," I said, getting up and stretched my arms above my head.

"Paige," Vince called.

I turned back, raising my eyebrows in question.

"I've heard about your relationship with Mr. Lloyd. And I expect and hope that no matter what happens with said relationship it will not effect your job performance. I don't have to worry about that, do I?"

"Of course not Vince."

"Good."

And with that I left the room, letting out an audible sigh once the door closed behind me.

"Hey, why the long face?" Fred asked as he slung an arm around my shoulder.

I immediately brightened. Just because I wasn't happy with my storyline doesn't mean that I had to drag all of them down when they had just gotten great news.

"Move over man," PJ said, pushed Fred's shoulder. I looked up at him and he leaned down kissing me. I smiled into the kiss, sliding my fingers into his hair.

The guys began to wolf whistle and cat call. I gave them the finger before wrapping that arm around PJ's neck.

When we broke the kiss I pressed my forehead to his, "congrats on becoming the newest addition to the WWE Roster."

"Alright, love birds, you guys are making me sick," Heath said.

"Just because you aren't getting any doesn't mean no one else can," Fred joked, waggling his eyebrows.

I felt the blush rise on my cheeks and my eyes slid from PJ's, but our forehead were still pressed together.

"Ignore them," he whispered.

I looked up at him through my lashes, smiling briefly.

Did all the guys think PJ and I are having sex? And if so, what gave them that idea?

"Hey," PJ's hand cupped my cheek. "We're taking things slow, that is totally fine."

"And we totally don't need to have this conversation here," I whispered.

"We just keep putting off important conversations, don't we?" He commented.

So he hadn't forgotten about earlier when I'd tried to downplay my conversation with Cena. Well, damn.

I just smiled up at him, "we'll talk eventually."

"We spend practically everyday together. Eventually doesn't seem to make sense."

"PJ."

"Paige."

"I told you its nothing to worry about."

"It's upsetting you, so of course I'm going to worry."

I sighed.

"Hey, are you guys coming or not? Drinks are on Stu," Ryan said, placing his huge hand on my shoulder.

I smiled up at him, "Stu's paying. Of course we are." And with that I stepped away from PJ, effectively ending the conversation.

I heard PJ sigh heavily before following after me, walking alongside Ryan.

/

I couldn't help it.

I was feeling terrible about the way I had ended the conversation with PJ.

It was my fault to begin with, seeing as I'm the one keeping details from him.

Details, who the fuck am I kidding? I'm not keeping small details about my past from him, I'm keeping huge chunks of my past from him.

But the last thing I want is him worrying about things that are irrelevant now. And even worse than that, I don't want him judging me because of some decisions I've made in my past.

I tugged hand through my hair, watching as Fred made some type of stupid joke, and PJ, Heath, Tyrone and Bryan to crack up laughing, clutching their stomachs, eyes squeezing shut, huge smiles.

I smiled just watching PJ laugh.

I sighed, leaning my elbows on the table.

"Rough night?"

I looked up, smiling at Jay.

"You could say that."

"So...about Cena earlier..." he started after a moment.

I closed my eyes, "please, can we please not talk about it."

He rubbed my back soothingly, "I don't know what it is that went on with you and Cena, but I think one, you should tell PJ, and two, if you need someone to talk to, I'm always here for you."

"You've always been here for me," I said, looking up at him.

"Not always when it counted."

Our eyes met.

He got up with a half-smile, "talk to him," he said in a sing song voice before walking away.

"Who do you have to talk to now?" PJ asked as he sat down next to me.

"You." I turned to face him, resting one of my elbows on the table.

"Finally someone agrees with me."

I sighed, "you're having fun tonight. I just want to enjoy it. We'll talk about this soon, I promise."

His eyes locked with mine and we were both silent. "Again, I don't believe you, but I trust you. Paige, I'd trust you with my life. It'd be nice if you'd trust me with your heart." He kissed my forehead before getting up and walking off to join back into the conversation with the guys.

I sighed heavily.


	22. Don't Believe A Word

_**I love how none of you have forgotten there is supposed to be a commercial..and I'm sure you're all also wondering how I'm going to get to it in 15 chapters...but as I've told Kiwi, there's a lot I can do in 15 chapters hehehe...**_

_**Dear lord you guys, your reviews are THE greatest reviews ever! Thank you to **ShannonTheAwesomeOne**(again, your review had me rolling. But seriously, stop reading my mind! That's not cool.),** Anonymous**, **Nexusgurl450**(your review had me cracking up as well :]), **DeathDaisy**,** LegitElizabeth**, **nic-002001**, and **KiwiStar **for your lovely, entertaining and ultimately inspirational reviews!**_

_**I'm kinda really excited, because from here on out, I get to write the Nexus...it's gonna be great! **_

_**Read, review and enjoy **_

_**xoxoxo**_

_**Angel **_

_**PS- There is a poll on my profile, please vote if you haven't already. Thank you :) **_

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't **_

_**Chapter 22- No Matter What They Say, Don't Believe A Word**_

PJ didn't know why he was reading it, he didn't know why he was searching this on the internet. He had just felt compelled to do it and couldn't stop his fingers as they typed a few simple words into the search box.

And now he was on some wrestling rumor site, reading some article which was, PJ admitted, partially true, about himself and Paige.

But the one paragraph that unnerved him was _"Paige is following in the footsteps of her last romantic storyline. I'm sure fans remember the smash romance she had with John Cena that went a little further than just in front of the camera, but things have been pretty hush between the two since her return from injury. Now it seems she's found her new beau in her storyline—and real life—boyfriend Paul Lloyd Jr., known to the WWE Universe as Justin Gabriel." _

What 'smash romance' with John Cena?

PJ tried not to let his mind jump to conclusions.

There was a link under a list of 'similar stories', titles 'The Golden Lady and The Golden Champ—More than just a storyline."

PJ was about to press the button on his phone when someone suddenly pulled up a chair across from him, reminding himself that he was sitting in the middle of catering, waiting for Paige.

He looked up to find Jay sitting across from him, tapping his fingers along the table top.

"Something on your mind?" PJ asked the blond man.

"Would you mind if I trained with you and Paige today. I just..."

"Want to see how she's doing?" PJ finished.

Jay nodded, "yeah, I've been...kind of worried about it. Paige won't let anyone know it, but she's fragile."

PJ nodded in agreement, "I wouldn't mind at all, it might actually be nice to have someone else there for support."

"Alright, I'll stop by then, while you two are in the ring."

"Okay," PJ said as Jay went to stand. "Uh, wait. Can I ask you something?"

"You are already," Jay said with a lopsided grin.

"Right. Uh...do you know if Paige and John Cena ever...dated, or anything?" PJ asked. He didn't want to pry into her past like this, especially from a source that wasn't Paige. But he was dying to know, it was bothering him. Paige hadn't given up any information, she'd actually ignored her run in with Cena from the week before. PJ had gone along with it, pretending that he forgot about it.

He hadn't. He wanted to know what the hell was going on. But he felt maybe Paige was ready to tell him yet. So he let it go, for her.

But there he was, asking Jay about it. Jay who was Paige's best friend, the one person besides himself who Paige trusted with her life.

Jay shrugged, "I dunno, I don't think so. Why do you ask?"

"I uh, read this article on one of those websites..." PJ trailed off.

Jay's eyebrows raised before he smirked and shook his head, "you're new to this kid. Here's a word of advice, don't believe a word that those dirt sheet websites say. They make up stories so they get readers." He shrugged, "but if you're curious, ask Paige yourself."

And with that the blond left, exiting the catering area.

Seconds after Paige walked in, a smile on her face as she walked over to PJ.

"Hey," she said, leaning over and giving him a kiss.

"Hey, you ready?" He asked.

"Yeah, let's go." She nodded.

-x-X-x-

PJ and I had been in the ring every day for the past week leading up to Monday Night Raw. He'd been working me slowly upward into the difficult moves. Yesterday, I'd perfected my hurricanrana again after over a year of disuse.

I couldn't lie.

It felt amazing to be wrestling again.

With PJ in the ring with me, I could ignore the fear, because I trusted him implicitly.

But that trust did have a limit, especially in this situation.

PJ's eyes were intent on me as I held the top rope and crouched on the turnbuckle.

"I can't do it," I said, squeezing my eyes shut.

"C'mon Paige," he said, his voice sweet and coaxing, "you've gotten so far already. Just jump, I promise I'll catch you," his accented voice tried to persuade me from my perch. I peeked open my eyes.

"You promise you'll catch me," I whispered.

Our eyes connected and he nodded, "I promise."

I let out a breath before slowly letting go of the ropes and extending to my full height on the rope. "Just jump?" I asked.

"Crossbody, moonsault, or just jump, it won't matter to me," he flashed me a disarming smile, "I've got the crash mat right here," he kicked it lightly for emphasis, but still kept his body facing me, and his eyes locked with mine.

I took a deep breath, "I'm just going to jump." I told him.

He nodded and braced himself, his eyes never leaving me, "alright then. Jump."

My lip quivered as I sucked in another breath before I completely froze. "What if I fall?" I asked, returning to my previous stance, holding the tops ropes tightly in my fingers, knuckles turning white. I was shocked to find that when I looked up at him he didn't look angry or even disappointed. He walked over to the corner, his hands covering mine where they clutched the ropes as if holding on for dear life.

"I think that's enough of that for today," he said softly.

I nodded, moving my legs out in front of me so I was sitting on the turnbuckle. My hands slipped out from underneath his and I pushed my hair behind my ears. "I'm sorry PJ, I just can't...I'm so scared that something will happen again," I whispered, my hands covering my face.

"Hey, shhhh," he pried my hands away so he could look me in the eyes. "Don't worry about it, I'm trying to help you feel safe when you're in the ring again. And if you don't feel completely safe yet, well then, we'll have to keep working at it," he said.

I stared at him, "what if I never feel safe again?" I asked.

His gaze softened, "you're a natural in the ring, and a former five time women's champ, I think you'll get back into the swing of things before you know it," he assured me. "When you debut, you'll be better than ever before."

And I believed him.

"So, we'll work on some simpler things." He said and I nodded.

"Mind if we join in?" a voice that I immediately recognized as Jay's asked.

I turned around to see Jay and Matt walking down the ramp toward the ring. I blinked before turning to look at PJ.

"Did you know they were coming?" I asked in a hushed whisper, turning my back to my two long time friends.

PJ looked a little confused, "well, I knew Jay was coming. He asked if he could train with us."

"And you said yes?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" He replied, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I'm leaving," I said, quickly dropping down and rolling out of the ring under the bottom rope.

"Paige, wait, why?" PJ walked over the the ropes.

When I didn't stop he stepped through them and jumped off the apron, following me.

"Why does it matter that they're here?" he asked, reaching me and touching my arm.

"Because—because I'm not ready!" I suddenly exploded, my heart racing, my palm sweaty. "I don't want them to see _this_," I motioned to myself and then the ring, "I'm not the Paige that everyone remembers. I'm only half of what I used to be."

"Paige," his voice was soft, gentle, trying to calm me as he placed his hands on my shoulders.

I shrugged them off, turning around to come face to chest with Jay, who stood arms crossed, eyebrow raised, looking down at me.

I lowered my eyes and bit my lip, tugging my hand through my ponytail.

"There's no need to be embarrassed Paige," Jay said.

I felt my face heat up. Well he'd hit the nail on the head.

"It's me, and Matt, and PJ. The three guys in your life you know will never judge you." Jay stated.

"It's just...it's embarrassing to be afraid of getting in the ring, and if I mess up, or I'm not able to do something that I used to be able to do flawlessly-" he cut me off.

"We won't think any less of you."

I looked up at Jay, our eyes meeting and locking.

Jay, I trusted Jay, I confided in Jay. He'd seen everything from me. He could handle seeing this too without wanting to run away. He wouldn't judge me for not being up to par with my old self.

"You broke your neck Paige, it's not something you can do and then expect to come back from exactly the same," Matt said softly, from where he stood slightly behind Jay.

We were all silent for a long moment before Jay pulled me into a hug, resting his chin atop my head.

"You know I got your back, and we really need to talk about some things, okay?" he whispered in my ear.

I nodded.

The four of us worked through a tag team match. Matt and PJ versus me and Jay. It was the first time I'd wrestled alongside Jay and we quickly fell into our old rhythm.

When we deemed ourselves finished for the day Jay held me back as PJ and Matt started making their way up the ramp.

"We're gonna talk for a bit, have a heart to heart therapy session. We'll see you guys later," Jay called to the two men.

Matt nodded and continued walking while PJ looked at me. I smiled back at him reassuringly and he nodded before catching up to Matt.

Jay sat down on the edge of the ring, patting the spot next to him. I pulled myself up onto the apron and looked up at him, waiting for him to begin the conversation.

"So due to the fact that I was absent during this whole fiasco of yours, would you mind giving me a quick lesson in the history of you and Cena? Because I totally covered for you today with PJ," Jay said, arching an eyebrow at me. "I've only heard bits and pieces of the story from people."

"And by people you mean Chris."

"Well...yeah."

I chewed my lip, "It uh, it all started while I was still with Phil."

Jay nodded, silently, urging me to continue.

"I'd been switched back to the RAW brand and everyone seemed to know about Phil cheating, but no one said anything to me. Once I was back on RAW, I was put into a romantic angle with John, during his feud with Randy. That's how it started.

"John made it obvious that he was attracted to me, that he was interested in having a relationship. But I was with Phil, I had no idea he had been unfaithful, and I wasn't the type to cheat on someone who I loved." I tugged a hand through my hair, staring at the wall in front of me.

"The storyline made it hard to ignore the fact that I had feelings for John. Phil noticed it too. But he'd already been acting moody, he'd go from being grumpy and sensitive in one minute to overly affectionate in the next, and I didn't know why. But it was driving me nuts."

"One night, John told me he could see the strain in my relationship with Phil, and he promised me that he would wait as long as he had too until I was single again, because he respected the fact that I wasn't willing to cheat on Phil."

Jay wrapped an arm around me, reading my mind, knowing that I needed the comforting arm. I took a deep breath before I continued.

"The night I found out Phil had cheated, I decided I was going to tell John I was ready to have a relationship with him, a real one. I decided that as I walked to the gorilla to meet up with him before his match against Randy."

"And then you broke your neck," Jay whispered.

I nodded, "yeah, and he never came to the hospital, never called, never said anything. And now all of a sudden he wants to chat it up about all that happened. I just don't feel the need to, I let go of him when I was sitting alone in that hospital room."

"He broke your heart." Jay's jaw was tight.

"After he promised he would wait for me forever." I scoffed and shook my head, "Phil cheats on me and then John abandons me. I've got great taste in men."

Jay hugged me, "you haven't always picked wrong." Our eyes met, memories from years ago shared in that one look.

I smiled and we went silent. I stared out at the rows of empty seats.

I shook my head "I never cheated, I never even kissed John outside of storyline."

"Then what's so bad about it?" Jay asked, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"I wanted to."

/

As I stepped out of the shower area of the locker room, I realized I was no longer alone. The other Divas for RAW had shown up and were preparing for the night's show.

"Hey Paige, long time no see. Were you just training?" Eve said with a grin as she turned and spotted me.

"Hi, yeah I was with Jay, Matt and PJ," I said back, smiling.

"Are you coming back tonight?" Maryse asked as she brushed out her long platinum hair. Nattie looked up at me, wanting to hear my answer as well.

"Not wrestling, I have a segment." I replied as I took the dress from wardrobe off the hanger.

"Aw damn, I was kinda hoping I'd get to see the 'greatest Diva ever' in action." the voice was sarcastic and a snicker followed it.

I turned to see two brunettes, obviously twins, standing before me. I remembered hearing about them. They'd debuted on Smackdown a few months before my injury. Actually, I remembered helping train them in FCW.

I arched an eyebrow at the two, "there's one thing you should know about me. I use sarcasm, scrawny bitches who haven't paid their dues in this business shut the fuck up."

They blinked at me, totally surprised by my comment.

I turned back to my bag, smirking to myself as I heard them scramble for the locker room door and then exit.

Once they were gone Maryse and Nattie burst into laughter while Eve tried to stay polite, pursing her lips trying to hold back her owl peals of laughter.

I shrugged, "they deserved that."

"Oh the Golden One is back. Thank the Lord, there's finally someone who can put those two in their places." Nattie said.

"I remember a workshop I did at FCW with their Divas. Those two couldn't wrestle for shit and I couldn't imagine why Vince would want them in the company." I said.

"Because they're pretty faces," Nattie muttered.

"Yeah, I know. But at least we're pretty faces with talent," I said.

The four of us laughed.

I had missed this. The locker room feel, being a part of the backstage socialization, wrestling with these girls.

I missed this life that I have lived since I was sixteen years old.

I could move on, I could become even better in the ring than I had been before my accident. I could do it.

/

_[On Screen]_

_ "I am here with former five time Women's Champion, Athena." Matt Striker introduced as the camera rolled on him. He motioned to the woman standing next to him a striking gold glitter vest and a pair of tight black jeans._

_ "Athena, you look incredible tonight."_

_ "Aw, thank you Matt. You don't look too bad yourself," she said, smoothing out his shirt across his shoulder. _

_ Matt glanced away shyly before clearing his throat. "I just wanted to get your opinion on the winner of NXT Season One."_

_ "You mean Wade Barrett?" she asked, arching an eyebrow._

_ "Yes, do you think he deserved to win, or do you think there was someone else more deserving?"_

_ "Well, I think all of the Rookies were deserving. Each one brought something different to the table, something that the WWE could work with. It's a shame there could only be one winner. But as for Wade Barrett, he did have the whole package, and after staying in the top spot for so many weeks he did deserve it. But the other two finalists deserved it just as much."_

_ "You mean David Otunga and your boyfriend, Justin Gabriel."_

_ Her eyebrows lifted and she smirked, "yes, that's who I was referring to."_

_ "Do you know if Justin will be coming to RAW to join you?"_

_ "I have no idea," she replied, obviously wanting to move on from the subject. She gave Matt a look._

_ He nodded once and cleared his throat, pausing awkwardly for a moment before completely changing topics. "Athena, can you give us a date for your return to the ring."_

_ She smiled widely, "actually Matt. I can. Three weeks from tonight, on Monday Night RAW, I will be making my return to the ring." Her eyes turned to the camera, "the WWE's Golden Lady is back, and I'm ready to take back what is rightfully mine. The Women's Championship." And with that she walked off._

_ "I-I think she means the Divas Championship," Matt corrected before Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler took over again at commentary._

_[Off Screen]_

"Hey, why are you watching Cena's match so intently?" Jay asked as he came to stand next to me.

I glanced over at him, "no reason," I answered before moving my eyes back to the screen where John was wrestling Phil. It wasn't the match I was interested in, it was what would happen in a few moments.

My eyes met Stu's as he moved through the gorilla. This was their big moment.

I looked back at the screen and moments later, Stu was there, on the ramp, distracting Cena.

I glanced over at Jay, to see his eyebrow's furrowed. "Is this his new storyline? Going after someone like Cena already?" he asked.

I shrugged, Vince had told us to stay completely tight-lipped about the storyline, and even though it was about to be revealed in mere seconds, I was staying silent.

"Huh," Jay muttered as we watched Stu approach the ring, and Cena throw Punk to the side as he turned his attention to the newly crowned NXT winner. "What's with the fancy arm band?" he asked.

I saw what he was talking about, the tight band stretched around Stu's bicep with a yellow square and a large black 'N' inside of it. I shrugged again, not giving up anything.

Jay was getting suspicious now, "you now what's going on, don't you?"

I didn't reply, just nodded toward the screen as the camera men 'spotted' Tyrone and the other Rookies among the crowd.

The seven other former NXT contestants made their way over the barricade, moving as a unit. They took out Luke Gallows quickly as Serena ran backstage, and then Cena threw Punk out of the ring, into the mass of NXT Rookies.

Bryan, Fred and Heath took care of Punk as Ryan laid hard punches on Gallows.

They were making it look believable and the expression on Cena's face was priceless. He had been told the bare minimum of information on the segment. All he was told was that Stu would distract him during his match and that all hell would break loose and that Cena should just go along with the Rookies and make it look believable.

PJ, Heath and the rest of the guys had filled me in on their plans during lunch yesterday. They felt that since I was to be part of the storyline anyways, it wouldn't matter if they told me what they were going to do.

They'd been told by management to wing it, to go crazy, make it look real.

They were certainly doing that.

They moved as one as they surrounded the ring and then pulled themselves up onto the apron, before moving between the ropes and surrounding Cena in the ring.

"Did you know about this?" Jay asked, "is this even kayfabe?"

"Yeah, it's their post-NXT storyline." I said.

"Are you a part of it?" He asked.

I shrugged, "not right now."

He smirked, "but you will be soon. Aw man, this is gonna be good. They're finally turning you heel."

I chewed my lip, I was still a little apprehensive about being a heel.

Jay must've sensed that but he clapped a hand down on my shoulder, "you'll be one badass bad chick."

I laughed before turning back to the destruction happening on the screen before me. I winced as Stu put John through Wasteland but my wince turned into a huge, proud smile as PJ pulled himself onto the top rope.

The smile vanished though as I realized all the things that could go wrong in that moment.

Someone from outside the ring the could stumble against the turnbuckle, some debris from the ring could hit the ropes and knock PJ off. He could fall, he could break his neck, he could die.

He jumped. Hit the 450 Splash perfectly. And was perfectly fine other than the usual rib pains from the impact of the move. With that, the Rookies began to exit the ring as the crowd booed them deafeningly. I hadn't heard the fans that loud in ages.

Vince had really outdone himself with this one and I couldn't wait and see what he had them do next.


	23. Some Secrets Weren't Meant To Be Told

_**Alright, chapter 23...so...sorry to disappoint but no triangle yet...just some other important drama...I do see a drama hurricane on the horizon though...but after that passes...**_

_**ahaha. **_

_**Thank you to my lovely reviewers: **KiwiStar**(oh Kiwi...your 'theory'...there are no words ;p), **ShannonTheAwesomeOne**, **DeathDaisy**, **Nexusgurl450**, and **nic-002001**(aww you're welcome! Thank you for saying thank you! That's a first for me and I really appreciate it!)**_

_**Read, review and enjoy :) **_

_**xoxoxo**_

_**Angel **_

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't**_

_**Chapter 23- Some Secrets Weren't Meant To Be Told**_

"Are you gonna punch me or what?" Jay asked, raising an eyebrow as he stood across the ring from me.

I rolled my eyes, but stilled chewed on the inside of my lip. I had been holding off on telling Jay about the wedding until the very last minute. And well, I was flying out that afternoon so it was now or never.

I threw the punch as I said, "I'm going to my sister's wedding this weekend."

He was so shocked he barely sidestepped my fist. "What?"

I placed my hands on my hips as I looked at him, "I'm going to my sister's wedding."

"She invited you?"

"Yeah."

"And you're going?"

"That's what I just said," I glared at him.

"I'm sorry, I think something's wrong with my hearing because I swear I just heard you say you're going."

"You heard correctly, Jay."

He stared at me, eyebrows raised, "nothing good can come of that."

"PJ seems to think otherwise."

"Who's known you longer, me or PJ? Who's heard all the stories about your family and what they've said and done to you in the past?" His questions were rhetorical, and not appreciated.

I was apprehensive about going still, but I didn't need him to point out all the things that I was worried about. I looked away from him pointedly, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Paige. You know your dad's going to be there."

"I know."

Jay sighed, running a hand through his hair, "he's going to..."

"Jay, please."

"Why tell me if you knew how I was going to react?"

"Because...you're my best friend and I just wanted you to know."

I looked back at Jay, "I have to go, I'm supposed to meet PJ for lunch before we head out to the airport."

"So he's your plus one?" He asked.

I smirked as I got out of the ring. "Yeah. Why? You jealous?"

Jay scoffed, "of that foreigner? Not even."

"Look's who talking Mr. Canada." I called with a laugh as I grabbed my gym bag and headed to the locker room.

"I still think its a bad idea!" He yelled after me.

"I'm still ignoring your opinion."

-x-X-x-

Jay grumbled under his breath as he walked through the halls on a mission. He pushed open the doors that led to the parking lot, looking around for the South African.

He spotted PJ leaning up against a car, waiting for Paige.

"PJ!" Jay called, turning and heading over to the man.

The highflyer looked up at the blond who was approaching. "Hi Jay," he greeted straightening up, smiling in greeting.

Jay didn't smile back, his face was a serious mask, "I don't know what you think is going to come from Paige going to that wedding this weekend, but I can assure you it won't be anything good. I swear to God that if she calls me crying because of some shit her dad says at the wedding, I will have your head." Jay's voice was low, his glare hard, his words completely truthful.

PJ stared at the man in shock, he'd never seen Jay so serious. The blond was usually a happy, funny, chill guy. But at the moment there was a fierceness that made PJ a little worried.

"The last thing she needs is to see her dad. Time won't fix that son of a bitch. I'm surprised she let you talk her into agreeing to this. It's stupid and she's going to get hurt. You'll be the one to blame, and you'll have to deal with me." With that Jay turned and stalked away, going to his own car and getting in.

PJ stared in shock, not coming out of his stupid until Paige placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You okay babe?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

He forced a smile to his lips, "yeah, you ready to go?"

/

PJ couldn't help it, he was stiff and worried all throughout lunch. He was beginning to second guess himself and his assurance that Paige attending her sister's wedding would do nothing but good for her.

Maybe Jay did have a point.

But that wasn't the only thing bugging him.

It was the nagging voice in the back of his head that kept making him think that Jay and Paige were more than just good friends, or at least they had been some time in the past.

PJ had never seen Jay so protective of someone like he had in the parking lot earlier. It had shocked PJ and honestly made him worry what would happen if the wedding didn't go well.

Paige had picked up on PJ's strange mood immediately and though she asked hims several times if he was okay, he just played it off.

It was becoming too much for her when they got on the plane.

She turned to him, fixing him with a look, "seriously PJ, what's up with you? And don't tell me it's nothing, it's something."

She wasn't going to take no for an answer.

He sighed, "It's just..." he sighed again, "have you and Jay ever dated?"

Paige's eyebrows lifted and she suddenly burst into laughter.

PJ took that as a good sign, a sign that the thought of her and Jay dating was utterly ridiculous and deserved to be laughed at.

He was relaxing quickly and he chuckled slightly as her laughter stopped.

"Yeah, we did."

His head snapped around to look at her. Had he heard her right?

She caught his shocked and confused looked and nodded. "Jay and I dated but it was a really long time ago, and we were both really, really young." She was staring off in front of her now, a reminiscent look on her face.

"Uh, er, were you two...serious?" He didn't want to ask really, but he had to. He had to know. Curiosity killed the cat.

She shrugged, "sorta, I guess, but we didn't make it in the long run. But he became one of my best friends afterward, so, I can't complain." She looked over at PJ, "why did you ask?"

"I just had a, uh, feeling because you and Jay are so...close." He answered, jaw slightly tightened.

She smirked slightly as she saw his fists clench, she ducked down, trying to get a peak at his expression. She gasped with a huge grin, "are you jealous?"

PJ scoffed, obviously flustered as he lifted his chin, "what? No. Not at all."

Paige lifted her eyes, obviously not believing a word of it. She smirked and leaned into him, "it's cute that you're jealous. But Jay and I ended a long time ago, and right now, I'm only interested in being with you," she squeezed his hand and pulled back, winking at him.

He smiled back, lifting her fingers to his lips, brushing a kiss over her knuckles. He suddenly felt really self-assured about the weekend.

-x-X-x-

"Welcome to my humble abode," I said, sweeping my arms out in front of me as we stepped into my house.

I watched PJ self-consciously as he looked around my house. There was a smile on his face, which was reassuring. I don't know why I felt so self-conscious about what he thought about my house. It was really superficial, but I was a little worried.

"It's nice, it...fits you," he said, looking back at me, noticing the way I worrying my lip between my teeth.

He set down his bags and walked over to me, taking me into his arms, "are you worried about what I'll think of your house?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Um, well...maybe a little," I laughed awkwardly.

He shook his head, "you don't need to worry about stuff like that."

"I just...I haven't had anyone over in...a long time," I said, sighing softly.

"Still not a reason to worry about it."

I sighed, "fine, I'll stop being self-conscious about my house."

"Good, because it's perfect."

I smiled slightly before he leaned in a kissed me, sealing his lips over mine.

He pulled back after a long moment of letting us get lost in each other. He pressed his forehead to mine, his breathing slightly labored and breezing across my lips.

"So, do I get the grand tour?" He asked.

I smiled slightly, "sure."

I grabbed his hand and led him through the house, not that there was much to show.

Finally we came to the master bedroom, my bedroom. "And this is my room," I said, pushing the door open and leading him inside.

"I'm gonna go grab our bags," I said and left the room, leaving him inside.

I returned seconds later to see him staring at the one wall in my room that had no windows, no pictures hung, and no furniture pushed against it. Instead a giant map of the world was painted from corner to corner.

"Uh, not that I don't like it or anything, but why do you have a map of the world painted on your wall? And why are there different colored tacks all over it?" He asked.

I chewed my lip as I walked over to the map. "Blue means I've been there, red means I want to go there, white means I'd like to go back there," I explained. He raised an eyebrow, wanting me to elaborate. "When I was a kid, really young, before I left my parents house, I was always thinking about how I wanted to travel the world. That's been my dream since I was little. I wanted to get out of my tiny little hometown and see the wonders of the world, because anything and everything had to be better than that hell hole." I ran my fingers along the wall, where the Atlantic Ocean was painted.

"One of the main reasons I took the my initial contract deal with the WWE is because they travel so much, not just around the US, but overseas, to other countries. It was an easy way to do something I loved and accomplish my childhood dream." I shrugged, "it was a win-win deal."

PJ walked over to where Africa was painted on the wall and looked down, finding South Africa at the very Southern tip of the continent. He smirked slightly, "you haven't been to my home yet."

"Nope, but I want to," I said, motioning to the red thumbtack.

He smiled, wrapping an arm around my waist after I walked over to him.

"I'll take you there one day, I promise. You do have to meet my mom eventually," he said with a grin.

I laughed, "damn, I thought the distance had saved me from the awkward meet-the-mother visit. Mothers are always the worst, no one is every good enough for their baby boy."

He shook his head, "my mom would love you," he said.

I smiled slightly, looking up at him, "really?"

"Honestly, she would."

"Well, that's reassuring."

We continued to talk, falling into easy conversation like we always did.

I flopped down on my bed and PJ landed next to me.

"You guys looked really badass last Monday. I was proud of you guys."

He smirked, "you think so?"

I nodded, "yeah."

He went silent for a moment, his face turning serious, "did you hear about Bryan?"

My eyebrows furrowed as I propped myself up on my elbows, "no, what happened?"

"They fired him."

"What?" My eyes widened.

PJ nodded, "they said he went too far during our segment and that it was too violent for the PG ratings."

"They just have a hard on against Bryan because he's a popular indie wrestler and he's not a big beefy Superstar like Cena," I grumbled, flopping back down angrily. "I can't believe that! Bryan's...Bryan's one of the greatest in ring technicians out there."

"I know," PJ sighed.

"I'll have to give him a call tomorrow or something."

PJ just nodded and we went silent for a moment. "Will you tell me about Cena now?" He asked.

I held my breath before letting it out slowly, "not tonight PJ."

I could tell he was a little upset, but he got over it surprisingly quickly. I knew I'd have to tell him eventually. But I really didn't want to start our weekend out like that. We'd already talked about one of my past relationships that day, and even then I hadn't told him the full extent of it. He could wait to hear another tale of my failure of a love life.

"So...what do you want to do?" I asked, watching as he sat up and looked around the room.

"Is that a dart board?" he asked, pointing to bulls-eye on my wall.

"Yeah, I had to do something while I was sitting at home for a year," I answered.

He got up and held out his hand for me, "I challenge you."

I smirked, "good luck, I got pretty damn good at it."


	24. Weapons In the Form of Words

_**Thank you to my lovely reviewers- **KiwiStar**, **nic-002001**, **dashinginconverse**(woo woo for new reviewers!), **Nexusgurl450**,** **and **DeathDaisy**! You guys are all sooooo amazing! Thank you, thank you, thank you! **_

_**All right everyone, grab your umbrellas because shit is about to hit the fan. **_

_**Read, review and enjoy. **_

_**xoxoxo**_

_**Angel **_

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't**_

_**Chapter 24- Fitting You With Weapons In the Form of Words**_

"Please stop biting your lip like that, love," PJ said, placing a hand on my hip as he came up behind me.

I was staring at my reflection in the mirror, worrying at my bottom lip. I didn't look up at him.

"You don't need to be nervous," he murmured.

My eyebrows furrowed as I turned to look at him, "nervous?" I scoffed, "I'm not nervous at all."

I was just worried that something might go horribly wrong today.

PJ squeezed my waist gently, "c'mon you said it'll take about an hour to get there, so we should get going."

I nodded, finally stepping away from the mirror and allowing him to lead me out of the bedroom.

"You look beautiful by the way," he said with a grin, nodding toward my powder blue dress with small silver spaghetti straps that ended an inch or two above my knees.

I smiled softly at him, "thanks," I said before grabbing my white clutch and car keys. "I'll drive." I said.

I let PJ put whatever he wanted on the radio and let him ramble on about whatever. I was too absorbed in the road we were driving down.

It had been twelve years since I drove on this long, lonely strip of country highway.

My mouth felt suddenly dry as I remembered hitchhiking along this road to get to the nearest big city. A sixteen year old on a road like this by herself? I guess I was lucky I didn't get picked up by some serial killer. Instead an old man who reminded me a lot of my grandpa picked me up, and he was threatening in the least. He drove me all the way to Knoxville even though he didn't have to. When I told him why I was hitchhiking he didn't talk down to me, or tell me my dreams and beliefs were stupid. Instead, when he dropped me off, he wished me luck. I never saw the man again, but I was eternally grateful for what he had done.

"Hey, no need to strangle the steering wheel," PJ said.

I glanced down, realizing my knuckles had turned white from my hard grip on the wheel.

I loosened my grip quickly with a sigh.

"Are you going to admit it now?" He asked.

"Admit what?" I asked.

"That you're nervous." He stated.

I chewed on the inside of my lip before sighing again, "fine. I'm fucking terrified."

He nodded once, "that's understandable."

I glanced over at him before returning my eyes to the road, "aren't you afraid something's going to go wrong?"

"I'm sticking with my belief that only good can come of this." He replied, giving me a look.

"I'm sorry I can't share your sentiment. You've never met my family."

"If you really think this is a bad idea then turn around now."

He was challenging me, trying to get me to back down. He knew I was a fighter, and I sure as hell didn't like to lose. I glared at the road in front of me, but I didn't turn around, I kept driving.

I caught PJ's smirk. I shook my head at him.

/

The ceremony was to be held at the local church. The church that I had attended as a child weekly with my family. It was at the edge of town, but from what I could see of the people and the building, nothing had changed in the years I had been gone.

PJ slid his hand into mine, smiling at me. I smiled back briefly before looking around as we entered. Most people were sitting down, and I heard murmurs around us saying the ceremony was about to start.

I pointed over toward a pair of empty seats in the next to last row of pews. PJ and I headed over and slid into the row silently.

The groom I knew. He had been in my grade during high school. Now he was marrying my little sister. You had to love small towns.

I spotted my parents as well, seated in the first pew on the opposite side of the church. My father sat straight-backed, tall, proud, wearing what was probably the only suit he owned. My mother sat next to him, small, silent, demure, submissive. Her hair pinned up under a small, lady-like hat, a lilac dress with a matching jacket and white lace gloves. The only difference in them was they looked older, aged lines on their faces as they turned with the rest of the congregation to watch the bride as the traditional bridal march was taken up.

My sister, Jasmine, looked beautiful in her white gown with a long train carried by two young girls who had to be around six or seven. I was guessing they were my nieces, the daughters of my two brothers. I'd have to ask later.

The ceremony was simple and nice, the traditional wedding.

The reception was to be held at my childhood home, my parent's house, where my sister still probably lived. In our town if you're a woman, you don't leave your parent's home until you're married off. It's very old school. It's another reason I hated this place.

We got back into my truck.

"Where are we going?" PJ asked.

"The reception is at my parent's house," I said stiffly, my fingers tightening around the steering wheel.

That house was the backdrop of all of the worst moments of my early life. Every fight with my parents took place there, every time I was insulted or belittled, the day they kicked me out. It all happened on that wide, front porch.

I stared at the small path that led up to the door.

"You okay?" PJ asked.

"Yeah," I let out a breath, "It's just been a long time." I didn't add that it would've been fine if I waited another ten years before coming back here.

As we walked up to the front door, following other family and friends there for the reception, I felt the panic rising in my chest. My heart sped up, my breathing was rapid, my palms were sweaty, my body prickled with fear and tension.

Everything inside of me was telling me to run. To kick off my silver heels and run as far away as my feet would take me, fast as the wind. I could hop in my truck or just leave it parked here and hitchhike my way back to Knoxville. I'd done it once before, I could do it again. I could make it out of here without ever having to face my parents.

Most people are afraid of spiders, or heights, or failure.

I was afraid of my father, afraid of his words and his actions and his lack of a beating heart. The black pit in his chest held no compassion. Only anger, only the desire to hurt and knock you into submission to his iron will. There was no such thing as negotiation in his home, and his mind was firmly set in ways instilled in him by his own father, who was the same as him, if not worse.

Physical abuse could never match up to the verbal and emotional abuse I suffered at the hands of my father. Being reminded every day that I woke up that I was not accepted here, that I was not good enough to be his daughter, that I would never be loved in this home.

My mother never tried to stop him, she let him be, she stayed silent in her kitchen, cooking and cleaning. Not even trying to protect her oldest daughter.

I hated her even more than I hated my father.

My hand clenched down on PJ's as I suddenly jerked to a stop.

"I can't do it." I whispered.

He looked down at me, turning me to face him, pulling us off to the side. "Yes, you can."

I shook my head, I was on the verge of a legitimate panic attack, "no, you don't understand. I can't go in there. I can't...see these people."

"Yes you can Paige," his hands were hard on my shoulders, "I know you can do this."

"It won't be different PJ." I whispered.

"Paige, you won't know-" He began but I kept talking like he hadn't even opened his mouth.

"I'm afraid of what I'll do, if he, if he tries," I couldn't put my emotions and fears into words.

I knew where my father kept his shot gun.

My eyes locked with PJ's.

"You _can_ do this Paige."

I looked up at the sky as the world suddenly darkened. Dark storm clouds had drifted over the sun.

I felt a sprinkle of rain hit my forehead.

PJ was staring at me intently, and I wasn't so sure if he'd let me leave if I tried.

"Okay." My voice was tiny and I don't know why I just agreed to go through with this when every fiber of my being said to not step through that door.

Jasmine and her new husband stood just inside the house, greeting guests as they walked in.

Our eyes met when PJ and I stepped inside and her face instantly brightened, causing hope to flicker briefly in my chest.

"Paige?" Her voice was breathless and disbelieving.

I slowly smiled at her, "Hi Jasmine."

"Oh my Lord, I cannot believe you're here." She embraced me tightly. "I haven't seen you in, in years."

"Yeah." We skirted around the issue that our father had disowned me and she hadn't seen me since she was twelve years old. Did she even have any memories of me?

PJ nudged my shoulder. "Oh right, Jasmine, this is my boyfriend, PJ."

"Well, hello there. It's such a pleasure to meet you," her eyes traveled up and down PJ as she shook his hand, "my sister did always have...exotic tastes."

PJ didn't know what to say to that and I almost laughed at how rude and ignorant the members of my family could be without even trying.

Her husband, Daniel, stepped up next to her.

Jasmine turned to him, "oh honey, this is my older sister Paige. You remember her don't you?"

He smiled and nodded to me, "I certainly remember you."

I smiled briefly at him but turned back to my sister when she started talking

"How did you know I was getting married?" She asked, her head tilting to the side slightly.

My world froze for a minute. What did she mean by that?

PJ stiffened as well.

"Y-you sent me an invitation." I said

Her eyebrows furrowed, "no, I-I didn't." She looked up at Daniel, "honey, did you?"

"No, I didn't think it would be appropriate that she be here."

I flinched visibly at his words and PJ placed his arm around me.

"Then," my voice shook, "then who invited me?"

"I did." A low, gravelly voice spoke from behind myself and PJ.

My blood ran cold and my heart sunk into the bottom of my stomach as my ear's registered the Southern drawl that haunted my nightmares and was the narrator of all my insecurities.

Jasmine's eyes went wide as Daniel nodded respectfully to my father.

I turned to look at the man, his skin darkened from working in the sun all his life, wrinkles lined his face, his blue eyes were as hard and cold as ever.

I swallowed as I stared at him, barely able to meet his eyes.

All the air seemed to suddenly be sucked out of the room, and all eyes were on us, as all realized who I was exactly.

The exiled daughter. The rebel. The one who didn't belong here. That was me.

I could feel the unspoken questions surround me. I wanted to scream at all of the people in the room to stop staring at me like I was some freak show.

"Why? Why would you invite me?"

He smirked, "to show you what a real, proper woman looks like. Your sister is a fine example of a good raising."

"I didn't have parents to raise me, so who can blame me for not being up to perfection." I shot back.

He shook his head, "Paige. You had parents, you just went against the Lord's law and disobeyed us every chance you could."

"You're unbelievable."

"No, you are. You thought that if you came today I would take you back into the family open arms, didn't you?" He laughed bitterly, loud and bellowing throughout the silent room.

His laughter cut off suddenly, "I would never accept a whore into my family. I can't believe you brought one of your pimps here with you today. You took him into a church. I'm surprised you didn't get burst into flames the minute you stepped into the Lord's house. Knowing you you're ledger is probably filled with sin. The Lord won't give you a second glance when you die, he'll send you right to hell. I've got no doubt about that."

PJ was tense beside me.

I can't believe I let him talk me into coming to the wedding. This was all PJ's idea. I hadn't wanted to come, I wanted to leave the minute we got here.

Now I was face to face with the monster that lived in my memories.

"You know what, I'll say something I never had the guts to say when I was a kid." I took a deep breath, "fuck you. Fuck you and your town, and your spineless, gutless wife. Fuck you and your so called way of being the perfect father. Fuck your idea of the perfect submissive woman. It's all a load of shit. You live a fantasy where men are still considered above woman. Well here's a reality check for you _Dad_, that's not how the world works anymore. Women have the sames jobs as men do, women can be providers in families, women have careers. I have a fucking career, I make enough money to support a whole fucking family. And I'm a woman."

"No, you're a no good slut."

My mother stepped in for once in her life. She placed a hand on my harm, "I think you should leave." She murmured to me.

I wrenched my arm away from her, turning to her and unleashing my fury on her now. "I think you should shut the fuck up like you usually do. My whole childhood you sat back and let him tell me I was stupid, that I would never turn out to anything, that I could never even become a good wife. You let him talk down to me, you let him ruin my self-esteem. You never once told him to back off, or apologize. You let him do it. You might as well have let him hit me. If you have anyone to blame for having a daughter like me, its yourself because you married this heartless prick and sorry excuse for a man."

A hand circled my forearm, "get the hell out of my house now."

"Wouldn't be the first time you told me that," I snapped back at my father. We were nose to nose, and I swore I was going to punch him in the face.

PJ was suddenly between me and my father.

"Leave her alone. She never did anything to you." PJ said, his accent thickening with his anger.

"Oh ho, who are you really boy? Her boyfriend? A girl like her doesn't have boyfriends. I don't know what you could ever see in a witch like her." My father looked around PJ at me, "but I guess you have a way of hooking them in with your sinful devices, I remember quite well that blond one showing up here and threatening me."

What blond one? What the fuck was he talking about now?

"What are you even going on about? You're fucking crazy?" My throat burned from yelling.

"Too many men to remember. What a shame, a child of mine such a fucking failure."

I felt the anger explode inside me and I lunched at him, "I'm not your daughter!"

PJ caught me around the waist but I fought hard against him, trying to get at my father who was standing with his arms crossed, chin raised as he shook his head.

"Get off my property. And this time, keep your promise of never coming back." He called as PJ carried me out of the house.

It was pouring rain outside, thunder crashed above us as my dress became plastered to my skin.

I turned to PJ, shaking my head as tears came to my eyes, "this is all your goddamn fault!"


	25. We're Going Down In An Earlier Round

_**Alrighty. Here we go guys, the shit storm has hit.**_

_**Thank you for the lovely reviews, they make me smile and they make me want to continue writing. Thanks to **KiwiStar**, **Nexusgurl450**,** DeathDaisy**, & **nic-002001** for all of your reviews, they're seriously great. **_

_**Please let me know what you think :)**_

_**Also, just a side note, updates might start coming a bit slower because I'm currently in the process of packing up my house and moving...and i also start school in two weeks...so...i'll try to update as much as possible, but updating within a couple days of each chapter might not happen much...I apologize, but life sucks. **_

_**Anyways, read, review & enjoy**_

_**Onward and upward,**_

_**xoxoxo**_

_**Angel **_

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't  
Chapter 25- We're Going Down, Down In An Earlier Round**_

"This is all your goddamnn fault!"

The words shouldn't have shocked him, her blame shouldn't have shocked him. But it still did.

PJ stared at her, blinking, wide-eyed as her chest heaved, dress becoming plastered to her skin from the rain, her face lit up by the sudden crackle of lightning.

"Paige, I'm sorry." He said, taking a step towards her, "but we need to talk about this somewhere in door."

"No! We're going to talk about this, right here, right now. We're going to talk about how fucking stupid I was to believe you."

When he reached out to her, she took several steps away, walking into the empty street as the rain poured down, pooling in the dirt, creating mud. PJ stepped through the slush, following her into the street.

"Paige, ple-"

"No, no, don't say my name like that, don't ask me to please calm down, don't do _anything _except shut the fuck up and listen!"

He stopped moving and straightened, just staring at her.

She was hysterical, crying, and beyond upset.

"I didn't know," he said softly.

"Of course you didn't! And you should've thought about that, you should've listened to what I'd told you, if you had then you never would've come up with the brilliant idea of attending this wedding." Paige placed her hands on her hips as she tried to slow her breathing. Tears were sliding down her cheeks, mixed with the cold, biting rain that also slid down her skin, soaking her to the core, where her heart beat, raw with anger.

"I just realized why we shouldn't be together." She stated.

PJ's heart stopped beating for a silent moment, and in that internal silence, thunder crashed above him, drowning out anything else.

He didn't ask her why they shouldn't be together, because he himself couldn't think of a reason. Sure, he had messed up, made a mistake, he'd talked her into something he shouldn't of. He was sorry for that, he'd said he was sorry.

"I trust you more than I trust myself." Her eyes lifted and locked with his, "I'd do anything you told me, without even asking myself if I was okay with it." She shook her head slightly. "Everything inside of me told me this was a bad idea, but I still went through with it, because you said it would be good for me. I knew it wouldn't be good for me, I knew my father would start some shit like he did, I knew I'd be reduced to tears by the end of the night, but I still went through with it, because of you!" She pointed at him, throwing her arm out.

"I'm sorry Paige. I said I'm sorry! I get it now, I get what your family is like, and I'm sorry I said you should come here. I know what it's like not to have a father with you but-" her words suddenly cut through his and he stopped short.

"Don't even, for one second, try to say you know what it's like. I know you lost your dad when you were right out of high school, 18, an adult. I lost my father when I was sixteen, and he's still alive." Her words dripped with fury, like the rain dripped from the ends of her hair. Her eyes were cold as they stared at him.

"You have no idea what it's like to have to live on your own when you're still a kid. There were times, weeks, when I wondered where my next meal would come from, how I would make it to my next show, if I would even be strong enough to wrestle because I haven't eaten for three days. I had to count on myself for everything, and I'm so tired of depending on only myself!" She wiped at her eyes with the heels of her hands.

"But, it turns out I can only depend on myself. Because everyone else fucks me over, whether they want to or not." She hiccuped slightly, hating herself for doing so. "PJ, I-I think.." she paused, taking in a shaky breath. "We're done."

He felt as if he had been struck by lightening as he stared at her, his jaw going slack. "W-what? No! Paige, no, we're not over."

She had turned and begun to walk away down the street. He followed after her, taking twice as many steps in order to catch up with her.

He reached for her shoulder, his fingers barely grazed her skin when she jerked herself away, breaking into a run, dropping her purse in the process, "don't fucking touch me." She stopped a couple yards away to check that he had stopped following her.

He stood in the middle of the street, hunched over, head down, knees slightly bent, hands braced against his thighs.

"Please, stay the fuck out of my life PJ. We're not good for each other." She yelled out to him, and more quietly, to herself, she added, "and love is just not good for me."

When PJ lifted his head, she was a small blur in the rain, far down the road.

He dropped his head again, felt his shoulders shake as he let out a strangled gasp. He felt the hot tears prick his eyes, a sharp contrast from his skin which had grown cold from the pelting rain.

"Fuck!" He yelled as he straightened, running his hands through his hair.

He slowly walked over and picked up her clutch. He stared at it for a moment before opening it and taking out her car keys.

He couldn't leave her out in the rain like this. He turned around and walked back to her truck, getting inside he started the car, cranking up the heater because he was shivering. It was only partially from the cold.

She couldn't have gotten far he figured, so he turned the car and started driving in the direction she had walked off. He followed the road for several minutes, and he was certain that if she was still on the road, he would've caught up to her by now. But he hadn't seen her, hadn't caught her figure in his headlights. No one was out in the rain on this stormy evening.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed her number. Ringing erupted from her clutch, which he had thrown on the passenger seat. He cursed to himself. He had no one of getting in touch with her.

He stopped the car on the side of the road, gripping the steering wheel. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know where she was, didn't know if she was safe, didn't know if she'd make if back to her house.

He leaned his forehead against the steering wheel and took several deep breaths. He decided to double back on the road and see if he spotted her.

His efforts were fruitless and he still didn't find her or see her when he continued down the road further and doubled back again, and did so a third time. Still no Paige.

Now, he was just angry. Angry with her for stupidly walking off in the middle of a thunderstorm, angry at her for accusing him for being the reason everything went wrong today and angry at her for breaking off their relationship when he thought they could've made things work.

Angrily, he punched the address of her home in Knoxville into the GPS on his cellphone and then he let the device direct him back the way they had come earlier that day. The drive back was a complete 180 from the drive there. He was alone, he was silent, he was angry.

He didn't know how, but when he arrived at her house, she was obviously already there. The evidence of that was the fact that his suitcase was sitting on her front porch.

He parked her truck in the driveway and walked over to his bag. Taped to the top of it was the number for a cab company. He sighed as he stared up at her front door. Against his better judgment, he knocked.

She didn't answer the door, just turned off her porch light.

PJ chewed on his lip and then nodded in defeat. He put her keys back into her clutch and then then hung the clutch on the knob of the front door before he pulled his suitcase to the curb and called the number for the cab company. He sat down on the edge of the sidewalk. The rain was lighter here, and he hadn't seen lightning or heard thunder since he was driving.

He rested his forearms on his knees and sighed.

He didn't know how to fix this.

/

"Hey PJ, do you know where Paige is?" Stu asked the South African man as he walked into the Nexus locker room.

"I wouldn't know," PJ replied, throwing his bag down in front of his locker.

At PJ's gruff tone both Fred and David shared a look before turning their gazes on the man.

"Did something happen?" Fred asked, instantly worry sprouted up in his chest. Worry for Paige. Each one of the Nexus members had heard by now about Paige's last relationship, where Phil had cheated on her. The last thing she needed was another relationship gone down the drain.

"Yeah, and is everything all right?" Heath asked, placing a hand on PJ's shoulder.

PJ shrugged it off, "I made a stupid mistake."

Suddenly there was a loud clang as the Nexus locker room door was thrown open.

"What the hell did I tell you Lloyd?" Jay's voice was loud and intimidating. The other men in the room were shocked. Jay rarely was angry, he was a usually easy-going and funny guy. But at the moment his face was tight with anger, his jaw locked, fists clenched as he waited for PJ to turn and face him.

PJ turned around, his eyes meeting Jay's.

"I told you you'd have to answer to me if she called me crying on the phone." Jay said, shaking his head slowly, his fists clenching tighter.

Jay stepped closer to the dark-haired man, and he lowered his voice so only he and PJ could hear, "she's my best friend and hearing her so torn up about something that could've been prevented kills me. I told you that nothing good would come of it, I'm sure she told you the same thing, yet you were too stubborn to look at it through anyone else's eyes but your own. You need to grow up, you handled that situation like an impulsive child. Paige needs someone mature enough to know that not everything always turns out perfectly, and to know how to then deal with life when it isn't perfect. You've proved to me that you're currently incapable of doing that." Jay leaned back slightly when he finished.

"Sounds like you'd be perfect for her then," PJ's voice was a monotone as he stared through Jay.

Jay smirked and shook his head, "Paige and I had our time. The last thing she needs right now is her best friend trying to get with her. She needs me now more than ever. As a friend. And that's fine by me." With that Jay stepped away.

"If you're going to punch me, would you just do it already." PJ muttered.

Jay stared at him, his smirk returning, "I'm not going to touch you. I don't need to use physical violence to get my point across. I think you understood everything I said." Jay turned and exited the locker room, leaving the Nexus members to stare around at each other in shock and confusion.

"You, you and Paige broke up?" David asked incredulously. He couldn't believe it, Paige and PJ were pretty much perfect for each other, perfect together. He'd never even once witnessed them fight.

"Yeah. We did." PJ replied, turning back to his locker and falling silent.

Stu had followed Jay out of the locker room.

"Jay!" he called.

The blond turned around, letting out a deep breath, "yeah?"

"Is she okay?" Stu asked.

Jay shrugged, "I've only talked to her on the phone. But she should be getting here any minute, I'm going to go do some damage control."

Stu nodded, "let me know if she's really worse off, yeah?"

"Yeah, sure," Jay nodded before turning hurriedly and walking off.

-x-X-x-

I was trying to stay strong as I walked into the arena, mentally preparing myself just in case I ran into PJ, preparing myself just in case he tried to talk to me.

I was praying that he wouldn't approach me at all. I wasn't ready to see him, or talk to him. I was still angry, my emotions were still raw from the wedding, I was still wounded from my father's words.

"Paige," the voice that called my name was soft and gentle.

I turned and Jay's arms engulfed me. I leaned into him, my familiar best friend who had always been there for me.

"C'mon," he murmured, keeping an arm around my shoulders as he led me down the hall. He took me to an empty locker rook and took my bag from me, setting it down on the floor. Then he sat us down on the leather couch.

"How are you?" He asked, and he wanted an honest answer, I knew.

"I...I don't really know. I'm still angry. I still feel stupid."

"You're not stupid."

"No, I really am. One, I believed PJ. Two, I let what my father said get to me." I shook my head, leaning forward, resting my elbows on my knees as my fingers slid into my hair.

I was quiet for a moment before I realized something.

"You haven't said it yet." I noted.

"Said what?" Jay asked, his brows furrowing.

"I told you so."

One corner of his mouth tilted upwards briefly, "the last thing you need is me patronizing you."

"Well you were right. I kind of deserve it too." I said.

Jay frowned, "you don't deserve any of this Paige." He sighed, "you deserve to be happy."

"I thought things were going to be different with PJ. But I made the same mistake I did with Phil, I was too trusting, and because of that, I got hurt."  
Jay placed his arm back around me and kissed my hair, "do you love him?"

His question shocked me, and I blinked, jerking away from Jay. That seemed to be enough of an answer for him.

"Look, I'm really pissed off at him right not but if you and PJ really love each other then..." Jay began, motioning with his hands.

"Fuck love," I muttered as I flopped back against the couch.

Jay's hands dropped, "well okay then."

We went silent again, but it wasn't uncomfortable. But in the silence my father's words echoed in my head. As I stared at the floor I spoke.

"You went to my hometown." It wasn't a question, but a statement. He could be the only blond to show up and threaten my father.

"I was wondering when you'd find out about it. I'm guessing Mr. Father of the Year mentioned me."

"He did. Did you really threaten him?" I asked, casting a sideways glance at my ex-boyfriend.

"In so many words, yes. I also told him he was an asshole for not seeing how amazing you really are and that he's missing out on being the father of one hell of a good woman."

I smiled briefly, "nice words."

"The things you say when you're in love," he shrugged.

"Was it really that long ago?" I asked.

He nodded, "yeah, I went there not long after you told me about it all."

I nodded, that had been a long time ago. Some time in 2003, I guessed.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair, "I need to get ready. I have a segment tonight."

"Alright. Meet me after so we can grab some food, I'll invite Matt along too."

"Okay."

/

I watched as the guys walked out to the ring. Their faction name hadn't been released yet, so they were just being referred to as the NXT Season 1 Rookies.

They were lined up in the ring, sent out their by RAW's general manage Bret Hart, to apologize for their attack last week.

It stung not to see Bryan standing out there with the guys. He deserved to be out there with them as well, taking the WWE by storm with this genius storyline.

I sighed, crossing my arms over my chest, watching as each of the guys refused to apologize. I glanced away from the screen as Stu asked PJ, and I tried to ignore his accented voice as it rang through the arena's speakers. They continued down the line, each having their own little piece. They weren't doing so bad for their first collective segment as a group.

_"Well, well, well, it looks like its unanimous. You see the problem with NXT was, we were treated like dirt, we were treated like animals. And when you treat people like animals, sooner or later, they're gonna start to behave like animals." Stu's voice rang out._

I nodded to Bret as he walked past me toward the current, preparing to head out himself.

_"Now, we were made to change in a locker room no bigger than a broom cupboard. We were made to compete in ridiculous challenges. We were at the mercy of overzealous WWE Pros. And then worst of all, we had WWE Management. Who saw fit to change the rules on us at a moment's notice. Who eliminated us on a whim. And who, to be quite honest, tried to make an international joke out of all of us. Well last time I looked, joke were meant to be funny and I didn't see anyone laughing after RAW last week. Because we destroyed this ring, we beat the living daylights out of the WWE Champion, and we impressed everyone who was watching us. So let me assure everyone right now-" _

Stu was cut off as Bret made his entrance. I chewed my lip before noticing Josh Matthews approaching me. "Your interview is after the first commercial break," he said.

I nodded, "okay, great." I stretched my arms over my head as I went over what I would be saying once more.

_[On Screen- Monday Night RAW, June 14, 2010]_

_ "Athena, you helped mentor some of the Rookies on NXT, you got to know them. Did you know the attack was going to happen last week?" Josh asked the brunette who stood before him._

_ Athena shifted her weight from one foot to another and glanced about her before fixing her gaze on Josh, "I honestly had no idea they were going to pull something like that. I didn't think they would...resort to those types of methods." _

_ "But seriously, Athena, they never mentioned getting any type of revenge to you?"_

_ "No, why would they?"_

_ "You've been their friend."_

_ "Yeah, so?"_

_ "You're dating Justin Gabriel?"_

_ "Look, he hasn't spoken to me since before the attack. I have no idea about anything that's going on. Do you think I'm in on it or something?"_

_ Josh shrugged guiltily, "there have been some rumors.."_

_ "Well then, they're just that, rumors. I don't know anything about the NXT guys, nothing at all!" _

_ Suddenly Josh froze, his eyes looking up past Athena. He unceremoniously dropped his microphone and then quickly disappeared out of sight._

_ Athena turned slowly and took a step back in the process. There behind her stood Wade, and behind him the Nexus athletes stood._

_ "Good evening Athena." Wade said with a sly smirk._

_ "I thought you guys were on your way out?"_

_ He scoffed, "like we're going to listen to anything Bret Hart says."_

_ "What do you want?"_

_ "I don't want anything. I'm just here to talk to a good friend."_

_ "I apologize, but I'm not feeling very friendly tonight." _

_ Wade shook his head, "Athena, I need to ask a favor of you."_

_ "So you do want something."_

_ He rolled his eyes, "shut it."_

_ She clenched her jaw as she glared at him._

_ "You see, you defended us back during NXT, Athena, and I'm sincerely hoping you will side with us now." Wade stated, "and since you're the WWE's Golden Lady I was hoping you could pull a few strings for us." _

_ "For you? You have to be kidding me?" She sounded incredulous._

_ "I'm not joking in the slightest."_

_ "Well you sound pretty crazy, expecting me to help you guys out. Things are a little different now Wade. I mean, I know you guys were treated badly, but I think you took things a little too far last week."_

_ "We've barely even gotten started Athena."_

_ "Well you just got fired so I don't see how you can keep going anywhere."_

_ Wade just smirked and shook his head before motioning for the NXT members to head out. _

_ Justin Gabriel followed the group last and stopped beside the former Women's Champion and turned his head to stare at her. She stared back, her eyes meeting his confidently._

_ He leaned in closer to her, as if to kiss her, and she leaned in as well, her eyes fluttering, when suddenly Wade turned and doubled back to them._

_ "Keep moving Gabriel." Wade said._

_ Justin looked back at Athena once more before walking off. _

_ "You have a choice to make Athena. Join us or join our list of victims."_

_ "You wouldn't dare lay your hands on me."_

_ He smirked, "if my plan works accordingly, I won't ever have to."_

_ She stared as he strutted off, following after his fellow NXT members. _

_[Off Screen]_

I let out a puff of breath as I ran a hand through my hair and shook it out.

"That was great you guys," Our director said, shooting us a thumbs up before he headed off.

I glanced up at Stu, noticing the way he looked from me to PJ. Stu's eyes met mine.

"You're quiet tonight. Is something wrong?"

I sighed heavily, "uh, PJ and I...we broke up."

He blinked, looking only mildly surprised, "why?"

"I was right when I said things just wouldn't work out." I replied, crossing my arms over my chest and staring at the floor. I felt PJ's eyes on me, and I knew without looking up at him that he wanted to talk to me.

"I need to go," I murmured, turning to leave.

Stu caught my arm, his hand warm. I glanced up at him.

"If you need someone to talk to, I did promise you a long time ago I'd be here."

I smiled briefly, just a slight upward tilt of my lips at the memory, "you did." But so had PJ, and look how that turned out.

Stu let me go, and I walked off without so much as a glance at PJ.

I could feel his heart breaking from across the room because mine was breaking too, all over again.

/

I fell to my knees in the middle of the ring, my hands lifting up to cover my eyes.

Training didn't work as well when you're along. No one there to encourage you or challenge you or to not let you talk yourself out of something.

I hadn't gone anywhere near the turnbuckle.

Honestly, I was a mess.

And my return match was the next night.

"Looks like you're in need of a partner," a voice said suddenly.

I dropped my hands and looked up to see Stu standing on the ring apron.

"I, uh, um. No." I scrambled for words, for an excuse as to why I didn't need anyone here. Having PJ, Jay, Matt, Jillian and Beth all know that I was still sort of a failure in the ring was bad enough.

"No need to lie to me, Paige." Stu said as he slid between the ropes.

I sighed, looking down for a moment.

"Hey," he said, causing me to look up. He had extended his arm to me, which I took and he helped pull me to my feet.

"Getting back in the ring has been hard for you, yeah?" he asked.

I shrugged one shoulder, and he gave me a look.

"Yeah, really hard," I confessed.

"And since you and PJ are not currently on speaking terms, you have no one to help you."

"Yeah, something like that," I muttered.

"Why not ask Jay?"

"Because Jay will call me on my shit. And...he's helping me with everything else, so..." I shrugged and averted my gaze, looking around the empty arena. It was Sunday in the early afternoon, a few short hours before the Fatal Fourway Pay Per View would begin.

"So, I'll train with you," Stu said with a decisive nod, like he had already made the decision without my input.

"What? Really?" I raised an eyebrow, "you really don't have to, I'll manage."

"Paige," he said, looking at me, "please let me help you."

I bit my lip, "Okay, fine."

_**End Part III: People Will Dissect Us Till This Doesn't Mean A Thing Anymore **_


	26. Thanks For The Memories

_**I'm sorry this update has taken a while longer than usual. You guys probably got a little spoiled over my summer break. Now, updates will probably slow down now that I'm back in school and have less writing time. **_

_**But anyway, there's ten chapters left of this fic! So, there'll be 36 chapters in all...**_

_**Thank you to my reviewers: **DeathDaisy**, **ShannonTheAwesomeOne**, **KiwiStar**,** nic-002001**, **I Wanna Party and Bullshit**, **RandomRonnie450**, ****and **iBrizzy- Daughter of Hermes**. You are all so wondeful! Please keep the reviews coming, they give me motivation! **_

**_I only own Paige. That's it!_**

**_Onward and upward,_**

**_xoxoxo_**

**_Angel _**

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't**_

_**Part IV: The Take Over, The Break's Over**_

_**Chapter 26- Thanks For The Memories, Even Though They Weren't So Great**_

The way I felt, it was annoying and cliché. I didn't want to be this woman, so devastated by a break up.

A break up that occurred a couple days after our 1 month anniversary. A break up that occurred after a wedding. In the rain. Because of a mistake.

All one big cliché.

Who was I kidding. My whole relationship with PJ was like one big cliché. It should've been obvious with all that perfection and romance that this break up was inevitably coming.

The honeymoon was over.

And so were we.

As badly as I didn't want to mope around about it, when I woke up on Monday to go to the gym and get in one last training session before my debut match, all I really wanted to do was curl into a bawl and sob until my body had no more water left in it.

It was pathetic. I hated feeling this way. But for some crazy reason I had no mental control over my mood.

My body and my mind had just decided today was a day where I would be depressed, and there was nothing I could do about it no matter how hard I tried.

I pulled the comforter closer around me, burying myself into my pillow, for once thankful I didn't have a roommate. Someone who would ask questions or even worse, pity me.

God I would hate that.

God I hated not having PJ to talk to.

The urge to cry was overwhelming suddenly and tears began to make their hasty escape from my eyes.

I laid there, curled into a bawl, feeling utterly sorry for myself and hating myself all at the same time. I was pitying myself at that moment.

I wondered if PJ was taking it as badly. I was taking it horribly and I had been the one to do the breaking up. It had been my idea, I shouldn't be so upset over it. I shouldn't feel so worthless or hopeless.

A sudden knocking at my door made me jump and my heart sped up. I planned to ignore it unless it was house keeping.

"Paige...open up."

That voice definitely did not belong to the maid.

"Go away William," I yelled, using his real first name. I only ever used it if I was in the worst of moods and really wanted to be alone.

The more I thought about it though, having company didn't sound that bad. Jay wouldn't pity me, he'd tell me to get my shit together and to get over it. Almost as good as a girlfriend's response, which would be to tell you that the guy wasn't worth it and you deserve so much better.

Could I do better than PJ?  
"Paige, honey, it's Beth...Jillian's here too." My closest female friend's voice filtered into the room after making its way through the thick door.

"We want to make sure you're okay...We have ice cream, and action movies because I know how you hate sappy romantic comedies after a break up," Jay said, trying to coax me into opening the door.

I didn't move and there was silence for a long time.

"Paige, we have Oreos." Jillian said suddenly.

I chewed my lip. With a sigh, I rolled myself out of bed. I couldn't resist Oreos.

"And Chips Ahoy?" I asked loudly, leaning against the door.

There was a rattling of a package I couldn't see, "the chewy ones," Jay replied.

I smiled despite the hollow ache and stepped back, my hand gripping the door knob, and pulled it open, allowing my three friends to step inside. It turned out to be five friends actually, just two of them hadn't taken part in the bribing me to open my door. Fred and Heath stood back, behind Beth, Jillian and Jay, and I just couldn't place the emotion behind their expressions.

"Move over," Jay said, "let us through," and in order to make me move he slipped an arm around my waist and lifted me up so my feet were an inch or two off the ground and he effectively moved me out of the doorway.

When he set me down I looked up at him with an arched eyebrow. "Was that really necessary?"

He smirked, "probably not, but I at least got an eyebrow raise out of you."

"That's pretty much the plan for today," Beth said as she sat down on my bed.

"What's the plan?" I asked, waving slightly to Fred and Heath as they came in and sat down in the two chairs situated around the small table in the room.

"Try to make you smile at all costs," Jay said as he began to unpack the items that had been in the plastic bag Jillian had been carrying. He spread them out on the table. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream, Oreos, Chewy Chips Ahoy, several cans of Crush orange soda and jolly ranchers.

All of my favorites.

I glanced from Beth to Jillian to Jay. His smirk softened into a smile before he pulled me into a hug. "You don't have to talk about it to us if you don't want to. We're just here to keep you company and try to keep you smiling." He whispered in my ear.

I nodded, returning his hug. When I stepped back I glanced over at Jillian, "what movies did you guys bring?" I asked.

"Die Hard, Transformers, Indiana Jones...RENT," Jay answered.

I smiled slightly at the last one. "Let's start with Transformers." I said.

"Sounds like a plan."

I felt like a kid again as the five of us piled up together on the bed and the floor in front of the bed. Each of us had a snack food item and every couple minutes or so we would rotate.

After finishing Transformers, Fred looked down at his tub of ice cream and then back around at us. I had just stood up to change the movies, opting for Die Hard, when he spoke.

"I'm seriously failing to see how action movies with tons of explosion, death and injury go with ice cream and healing a broken heart." Fred said as she dug his spoon into what was left of the ice cream. "I feel like we need something emotional that we can all bond over."

I looked at Fred. Sure, maybe he had a point, watching robots beat the shit out of each other for the sake of the world wasn't really making my depression go away.

I pointed at Fed, "I think he has a point," I murmured.

All eyes were on me and I just shrugged. "Maybe I need to watch something depressing, cry, get it all out..."

"Do you think we could...talk about things, first?" Beth asked, raising her eyebrows slightly, a wary expression on her face. They all looked worried about my reaction, except Jay, who met my gaze steadily when I looked at him.

"You don't have to, if you don't want to," he mouthed to me.

I chewed my lip, tugging a hand through my curls, "I let it move too fast, I didn't stop and think about things like I should have. I didn't ask myself for my own opinion, I just acted impulsively and it got me hurt in the end."

"If it helps at all, he's just as torn up as you are about all this." Heath said solemnly, shrugging one of his shoulders, "he's pretty impossible to be around right now."

I took in a deep breath, "he deserves it."

They all looked a little surprised.

"He brought this on himself, it was his idea to go to that stupid wedding. If we hadn't gone I probably would never have realized how stupid I've been." With that I popped the DVD out of its case and placed it into the player. I grabbed the package of Oreos from where it was set on the edge of the bed and plopped down against my pillows, yanking apart the two cookie sides as the movie started.

That was all the talking we did. We watched the movie. Beth and Jillian bawled their eyes out, I felt the urge to cry, but something inside of me didn't let it happen. Instead I just wiped at my eyes to make it look like I was crying.

When we finished the movie it was time for everyone to head out and start getting ready to head to the arena.

Jay was the last to leave and he hugged me, "did it help at all?"

I smiled slightly, "a little."

He gave me a nod and a half-smile, "I'll meet you at the buses in an hour."

"Sounds good."

/

"Are you ready for your match tonight?" Jay asked me as we entered the arena.

I nodded, chewing the inside of my bottom lip, "yeah, I guess. It's just strange that they haven't told me who I'm wrestling yet, and they haven't set up a time for us to work through the match either." I shrugged, "I dunno, maybe they've changed procedure since I last did this."

Jay looked confused, "I don't think so. It's strange that they haven't told you anything. Either they really want to keep your return on the low down, or they've changed something."

"Yeah, that's what I thought. They'll have to tell me sometime tonight."

"Well let's hope so. I don't want you going out there totally blind."

I crossed my arms over my chest, "I wouldn't be totally blind. It would just be difficult seeing as I haven't worked with half the Divas locker room before."

"Miss Ross?" A voice called.

I turned my head to see a stage hand holding a clipboard, staring at me, having obviously just been the one to call my name.

"Yeah?" I asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Creative would like to see you, immediately."

I blinked and then looked back at Jay, "uh, I guess I gotta go then. I'll see you later."

"Yeah, I'll meet you in catering." We hugged quickly and then I turned back to the stage hand.

"Follow me," she said before leading me down the halls to the Creative Team's makeshift office.

She knocked on the door once before opening it slightly and poking her head inside. "I have Paige Ross here."

"Oh good, bring her in." I recognized the voice as Stephanie's.

The stage hand leaned out of the doorway and stepped aside so I could enter. I muttered a quiet thanks before fully stepping inside and the stage hand let the door close behind me.

"Please have a seat," one of the writer's said.

I nodded and sat down, my eye's meeting Stephanie's from across the table.

"Um...so why am I here?"

"We have some news."

"Good or bad news?"

"It could go either way."

I raised my eyes, "okay then.."  
"We've decided to push back your return match for another two weeks. Due to the Nexus debuting we haven't had much of a chance to hype up your return to the ring. We'd like to create some promo packages, as well as rework a lot of your character and such seeing as you'll be shifting to heel in a few short weeks."

"Will I turn heel before my first match?"

"No, you will turn heel right after your return match."

"Who will I be facing?"

"Alicia Fox."

I nodded, she was a close friend of PJ's. How fantastic.

"Alright," I said, forcing a smile.

"We'd like to schedule some appointments for a photo shoot for the WWE website as well as pick out some new theme music for you and new ring attire."

I nodded in agreement as they rattled of dates and I times and I said they would work for me.

When I left the Creative room I felt exhausted and drained, I was suddenly glad I wasn't wrestling.

"Paige," someone called my name, causing me to whip around to face whoever it was.

Stu smiled slightly at me.

"Hey," I breathed, trying to get my mouth to form a smile.

"I know it's a stupid, overused question that you probably don't want to be asked again, but how are you?"

I didn't even give him a verbal answer, just fixed him with a look. Raised eyebrow, ducked head, stuck out my chin. The answer should be obvious, shouldn't it? Hasn't everyone realized by now that I'm miserable?

He held up his hands innocently before letting out a sigh, "I'm just concerned about you Paige, that's all."

I felt bad. I chewed my lip while dragging my hand through my hair. I averted my eyes from him, slightly ashamed at the way I'd acted. He was right, he was only a worried friend who wanted me to be okay, but knew I wasn't and wanted to be here for me.

Too bad I'd already seen five of those same exact friends today and I just didn't feel like dealing with any more pity or compassion.

"Could you please be a little bit more of a jerk, it'll make me feel a little better."

He arched an eyebrow, "why would me being a jerk make you feel any better?"

"It would make me feel like less of a douche if you're a douche too."

He laughed, and I couldn't help it, I laughed too.

"I know you're just...looking out for me or whatever, but honestly...I've got Jay, Beth, Jillian, Fred and Heath all doing the same exact thing..and I kinda just need someone who treats me like nothings wrong."

"Jay doesn't smother you."  
"He doesn't. But...I just...I know what he's thinking."

"And you don't know what I'm thinking?"

"No, you're much harder to read. And I've only known you for a couple months. I've known Jay for a decade. I've had several years of practice at reading him. Plus, he's not the type to conceal his emotions. He's pretty up front with everything he feels."

He just nodded once and we fell silent for a moment.

"Uh, how did you know where to find me?" I asked.

"I ran into Jay, asked him where you were. He told me you were called in to see Creative and he didn't know how long you would be. So I decided to come wait for you."

I nodded, "thanks."

"What did Creative say?"

I puffed out a breath, "that they're putting of my re-debut for another two weeks."

He looked surprised, eyes widening, "really?"

"Yeah. They want to hype up my return some more and keep building on my storyline with the Nexus."

He nodded, "I see. That's too bad, you were looking really good in the ring yesterday."

I shrugged, "it's good and bad. Good because I'm not even close to being ready to do my finisher and bad because I really want to get my first match back over with."

"Your finisher?" he asked.

"Moonsault off the top rope." I flinched slightly just thinking about it.

His eyes met and locked with mine, "you'll get there soon Paige.

"I hope so." I muttered.

He smiled briefly, "now come on, we have a segment to film."

I nodded and followed after him as he began walking down the hall.

/

Seeing him was harder than I expected. Looking over and having our eyes meet as the segment director double-checked that we knew what we were supposed to do.

I wanted this to be quick and painless, I didn't want to linger around this scene. I wanted to get it over with so I could get far away from PJ.

The way he looked at me made my heart ache.

Stu looked between PJ and I before settling a glare on my ex and placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"You'll get through this just fine," Stu said, offering me a hint of a smile which I tried to return as I nodded once.

And then we were being told to get to our spots, I stepped into the Divas locker room, my eyes connecting with Victoria's as I went.

Then the camera's were rolling and there was nothing I could do but just get on through it.

_[on screen]_

_ Athena tilted her head at her reflection in the mirror before picking up a can of hairspray and aiming it at her light brown curls. Suddenly a hand came out of nowhere, knocking the hairspray out of Athena's grasp._

_ Athena turned, arching an eyebrow as she placed her hands on her hips staring at the woman before her. _

_ "Well, Alicia Fox, it's so nice to see you here with your...Divas Championship." Athena's eyes fixated at the belt on the other woman's shoulder._

_ "Don't drool. You'll never get this title, and that's why I'm here. Look I know you've been trying to get a match with me, but honey, that's not going to happen. I'm too good to have to deal with a has-been like you. You haven't even wrestled a match in almost two years." _

_ "I'm sure I could still wrestle better than you regardless of how long its been." _

_ Alicia laughed, and then cut it off abruptly, "you think you're funny?"_

_ "Actually, I know I'm funny." _

_ "You're not."_

_ "I am." _

_ "You're not."_

_ "I am."_

_ "You're not."_

_ "I'm not."_

_ "You are."_

_ Athena rolled her eyes and held up her hands, "if you say so." _

_ Alicia let out an exaggerated growl before turning and leaving the locker room, slamming the door behind her._

_ Athena smirked to herself, turning back to the mirror. The sound of the locker room door opening again cause her to roll her eyes._

_ "I thought you didn't want to fight me," Athena said as she turned around._

_ She froze, shocked, "Justin."_

_ The camera turned to the man standing in the doorway, looking at her. _

_ "Can we talk?"_

_ Athena looked around the locker room to make sure it was empty, "yeah, of course." She reached out and grabbed his hands, pulling him into the locker room._

_ "Justin, I get the point you guys are trying to prove. But this whole thing is a little crazy, don't you think?" Athena said once the locker room door closed behind him, taking his face in her hands._

_ The South African stepped closer to her, placing his hands on her hips, "I'm trying to get Wade to keep you out of this Athena. I don't want you getting hurt."_

_ "I don't want you to get hurt either!" She said as she stepped back. motioning with her hands, showing her exasperation. "This whole thing is a bit extreme I mean, look at what you guys did to Bret last week! I think you guys have gotten your point across, you don't need to do anything more. You've all been hired, you got what you wanted. Why would I even get involved now?" She slid her hands into his, "you don't need to protect me."_

_ Justin leaned in, pressing his forehead to hers, scrunching his eyes closed, "no matter what Wade says to you, what he promises, what he threatens. Don't listen to him, promise me that." _

_ She stared up at him, "I promise."_

_ He leaned in, capturing her lips as he tugged her body closer to his, savoring the taste of her lips against his and the feel of her skin beneath his hands. A fire ignited in the room and the intensity of it was conveyed even through the camera as he held her tightly too him. As if he would never be there to hold her again, like they would be separated. _

_ They pulled apart, breathing heavily as Athena bit down on her bottom lip. She smoothed his hair back out of his eyes, "you know you can always stop."_

_ He smiled sadly, "no Athena, it's too late for that."_

_[off screen]_

I pulled myself out of PJ's arms as quickly as I could without making a scene.

The way it felt to be held by him, to kiss him, to feel his breath hitch when you touched him. It was too much and I couldn't let myself feel those things. It hurt to realize I still wanted him.

Then the words of my father would echo in my ears and it would just hurt.

"Paige," PJ followed after me, I felt his fingers graze my elbow.

"I don't think she wants to chat right now," Stu was standing behind me now, between PJ and myself. I kept walking.

Stu caught up to me a couple seconds later.

I rubbed at my eye with my balled up fist.

"Paige, slow down," Stu said, reaching out to place a hand on my shoulder.

I stopped abruptly turning to face him. He halted quickly so as to not run into me.

"Stu, I-I need a couple minutes, okay? I don't need any one with me right now."

He looked down at me, I figured he would argue and follow after me, hold me, that's what PJ would've done. But instead, he just nodded and took a step back, letting me go.

I turned and continued walking down the hall, trying to take deep even breaths, hoping that focusing on my breathing would distract me from the tears threatening to fall.

I found an empty locker room and pushed the door open, waiting to hear it close behind me before I burst into tears.

It didn't close, so I spun around, coming face to face with Phil.

I stared at him with wide eyes, feeling my body shake with a sniffle.

"I just want to talk Paige."

"Yeah, well now is a really bad time." I turned around so that he wouldn't see me if the tears started to fall.

"Really, I think it's as good a time as any."

"Yeah, because you'll just make me cry anyways, so might as well do this when I'm already crying, huh?" I crossed my arms over my chest but still didn't turn to face him.

"That's not what I mean."

"Then what do you mean Phil? I don't know what there is to say. I thought you'd finally taken the hint to leave me the hell alone. Don't you see it Phil, we're not meant for each other. You're not for me, I'm not for you. And I can tell you why.

"When I'm stressed I have a glass of wine to relax. If it's a special occasion I pop some champagne. If I want to have fun, I take a shot of something strong. If I'm hanging out with my friends, I'll have a beer. Don't you get it, Phil? I'm not your little perfect dream girl, I never was! I won't just sit back and let someone manipulate me. Why can't you just realize that, let me go, and move on?"

"Because I loved you—I wanted so badly to spend the rest of my life with you." The words burst forth from him suddenly and they made my heart constrict because for the longest time that had been all that I had ever wanted.

"It was one night, we had a fight over the phone, all I wanted was to hold you, but you weren't there and I was angry..." he ended the sentence breathlessly

"So you called her." My voice was flat.

"Yeah, I called her. And I regret it, I regret that one night where I fucked everything up." His hazel eyes were sincere as he looked at me, hands hanging at his sides in defeat, "It was only once Paige, I swear."

I sighed, "I hate that I believe you." I bit my lip, "but that doesn't mean I forgive you."

I glanced up at him to see a corner of his mouth tilt upward just slightly, "I know, but it's a start, right?"

I smiled slightly, with a nod, "yeah."

The door to the locker room opened.

"What the bloody hell are you doing here?"


	27. Force Our Smiles, Baby, Half Dead

_**I'm sorry this took so long. I won't make excuses. Anyways, there are nine more chapters of this fic. I can't believe we're already that close to the end, my god! It'll be over before you know it!**_

_**I'll try not to rush things. **_

_**Thank you to my amazing reviewers who keep me motivated even when my life is sucky and hectic! **RandomRonnie450**, **DeathDaisy**, **iBrizzy- Daughter of Hermes**, **nic-002001**, **KiwiStar**, **TrinityBelle40**, and **momo**- You are all so amazing! Thank you for your words! I love you guys! **_

_**I only own Paige. That is all.**_

_**Onward and upward**_

_**Xoxoxo**_

_**Angel **_

_***Edit: I love how people don't tell me I've left my writer's notes in the published chapter! Whoops. Now its gone.**_

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_**Seasons Change But People Don't**_

_**Chapter 27- Force Our Smiles, Baby, Half Dead**_

"What the bloody hell are you doing here?"

It took me a moment to realize Stu had come into the room and he was now glaring angrily at Phil. Phil smoothed his hand over his hair but didn't turn to look at Stu, he lowered his eyes to the floor and I chewed my lip.

"I asked you a question." Stu's tone was rising quickly with anger.

I stepped toward Stu as he began walking in Phil's direction. As he reached out to grab Phil's shirt I pushed a hand against Stu's chest.

"Leave it, nothing was going on," I said, pressing my palm against Stu's cheek, pushing to try to get him to look at me.

Finally he looked away from Phil and turned his eyes on me, "he wasn't bothering you?"

"Bothering and upsetting are two different things." I offered a half-hearted smile, "but no, there's no issue here, I promise."

His eyes searched my face for a sign of it being a lie.  
I turned back to where Phil was standing to see he was gone. I chewed the inside of my cheek before looking back at Stu.

"We were having a civil conversation." I said, motioning with a wave of my hand to where Phil and I had been standing.

"Civil," Stu sounded baffled as he let out a breathless chuckle. "So you told me to leave you around and chose to talk to Phil about it instead?"

I rolled my eyes, "we weren't talking about PJ and I."

"What were you talking about?"

"The past." I wouldn't meet his eyes.

"Please tell me you aren't getting back with him. You do remember what he did to you, don't you?"

I sent him a glare, "of course I remember Stu, I've spent the past two years feeling like crap about it."  
"You didn't tell me what you were talking about."

I stepped closer to him, "maybe it's none of your business." My defenses were rising quickly, as was my temper.

"I made it my business when I promised you that I would look out for you in regards to Phil."

We were nose to nose, with a height difference, and suddenly the anger drained from us as we stared at each other.

Suddenly, quickly, we both pulled back. I cleared my throat awkwardly as Stu rubbed the back of his neck and looked away.

"I'm gonna go get my stuff and then head back to the hotel," I mumbled before leaving the locker room. As I stepped out into the hall I looked up and found my body crashing into a solid chest. Warm hands grabbed my arms to steady us and keep me from falling.

When we had regained balance I stepped back and looked up to apologize to whoever I'd run into when I realized who it was.

I don't know how I had missed it, the way his scent suddenly assaulted my senses, the feel of his lean, muscled body, the smoothness of his cheek, his soft hair, his gentle hands.

I didn't want to talk to him. I'd gotten through the day without seeing him, the segment had gone without a hitch, I'd done what I had to, followed the script, acted like I was affected by the way we had to touch and look at each other and talk.

I was preparing to flee like I had earlier when he grabbed my wrist in his gentle fingers. I closed my eyes briefly before I let him tug me around to face him.

"We need to talk Paige," his fingers not unwrapping from around my wrist. I could feel his eyes staring at me but I refused to look up at him.

"What is there to say?" I asked, shrugging one shoulder.

He sighed, exasperated. "Paige..."

"I told you we wouldn't last." I whispered as I finally looked up at him.

His expression was like he had been shot. The shock and astonishment was tangible in the air between us. His eyes darkened after a moment, and his mouth, which I tasted and felt the softness of several times, set itself into a hard line.

"Did you ever really want this relationship to work? Or did you just say yes to me so you could eventually prove yourself right. Go on Paige, say it. Say I told you so! You were right, we didn't work out in the long run, we didn't last, we weren't meant to be! Fuck," his face fell and I was jarred by the curse word, he rarely ever used language like that, "I was willing to give everything to you Paige, my heart and soul. I told you anything you asked, I didn't try to hide anything from you, but you were just out to be right, because being proved wrong would be too much for you."

The sigh that escaped him then was heavy with the weight of all the emotions he had just released, "I hope you're happy Paige. I don't want anything but happiness for you." He bit the inside of his cheek, his eyes dancing away from mine, "that's how much I love you." And with that, he walked away, leaving me behind to look shocked and astounded.

/

I threw my bag down on the floor once I reached my hotel room. I pulled my hair up into a bun and unzipped my suitcase roughly, tugging out my pajamas. I tried to take out my emotions on my suitcase so that I wouldn't start crying but I was struggling to do that.

I pulled my dress off over my head and threw it onto my suitcase before pulling on the shorts and tank top I wore to bed.

Breathing heavily I bent over, hands braced on knees as I hiccuped on my own breath. I stayed like that for a moment before and idea came to my mind.

I straightened and walked over to my mini fridge, pulling the ice cream out that was left over from the visit from my friends this morning. Then I picked RENT up off of the table, setting the ice cream down. I popped RENT into the DVD player, retrieved my ice cream and a spoon, turned off all the lights and curled up under my blankets.

The movie began and ever though there wasn't anything majorly depressing I began to bawl my eyes out. Huge, aching sobs that left me feeling empty. I couldn't even stop crying long enough to eat a spoonful of ice cream.

I gave up on the ice cream and instead just tugged the blankets up around me, watching the movie, still sniffling. I was kind of spacing, just watching the movie, my eyes following the moving images as my mind flew away with other thoughts.

_"That's how much I love you."_

PJ loved her.

Knowing that was making it a lot harder for me to stand by my decision to be without him. I figured I'd go through the terrible withdrawal, but I expected myself to bounce back better. Now I was seeing the error in my assumptions as the ache in my chest grew and my eyes hurt from all the tears and all I wanted was to hear his voice and feel his breath on my cheek as he told me again he loves me and it wasn't in a moment where a hurt expression crossed his face and creased his brow.

I jumped suddenly as a knock sounded at my door. I turned my head to stare at the door, not knowing who could possibly be there. I desperately wanted to ignore it, but the thought and dream that maybe it was PJ took control of my body. I stood, pulling one of the blankets with me, and I walked to the door. I took a deep breath, knowing my make up was smeared and there was most likely evidence of tears on my cheeks. I opened the door and lifted my eyes.

Stu looked back at me, arms folded over his chest, eyes studying me worriedly, lips set in a firm line, eyebrows tilted up slightly.

We didn't speak for a long moment until he nodded toward the doorway, "can I come in?"

I cleared my throat and nodded, moving aside with a small affirmative word that didn't really sound like anything.

I closed the door behind us with a shaky inhalation before I turned to face Stu. He wasn't looking at me though, instead his eyes were focused on my TV, his head tilted slightly to the side.

I quickly scurried over to my bed, picking up the DVD remote and pausing the movie.

"Were you watching RENT?" He asked, looking at me, arching an eyebrow.

"Um," I paused, "maybe."

I tried really hard to put on my normal personality, to act like my regular self but my heart wasn't in it. I couldn't come up with any sarcastic banter or witty remarks. There was just empty space instead.

I pressed a hand over my face, shaking my head with a sigh, "I'm sorry. I'm..." I scrunched my eyes shut, feeling unreasonable tears well up, "I don't know what I am right now. I don't know where I am in my life either."

I bit down on my lip, "there are so many things in my life that I want but I feel like the universe is just totally against me having anything I want. I know I should be grateful for what I have but."

I stopped as Stu wrapped his arms around me. I buried my face into his chest, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"I still miss him even though it was my decision to end things." I whispered. Stu rocked us slowly, running his fingers through my hair soothingly.

"Shh, Paige, it's okay. It's going to be all right," he murmured as I sobbed into his shirt. I shook my head slightly, he just couldn't understand it.

He pulled back slowly, but it still seemed sudden to me, and he cupped my face in his hands. His fingers slid smoothly against the line of my jaw as he forced my eyes to meet his, "things will get better. It will stop hurting."

I breathed heavily as I stared up at him. I didn't have anyone to tell me that last time. When I was getting over Phil I had to keep telling myself that, and I have a history of second-guessing myself, so I never believed me when I said 'it'll all be better one day.'

PJ was supposed to be my "one day" guy.

Confusion ripped through me as fatigue blurred my vision. "I'm tired," I murmured.

He nodded, "come," he led me toward the bed by my hand. He sat with me, propping himself up against the headboard after he picked up the DVD remote. After a moment of staring at him a little surprised I settled down next to him, resting my head on his shoulder. Stu pressed play and we watched the rest of the movie together.

/

Jay didn't like it. He didn't like it one bit.

The forced smile, the dullness in her eyes, the lack of enthusiasm. He hated seeing her like this. He hated that he had let this happen, that he had let her go to the wedding with PJ, that he had let PJ just take her there. He should've tried harder to convince PJ and Paige not to go, he should've made PJ realize his mistake before he made it.

It was too late now, he knew, as he sat next to Paige on the bus as it made it's way to the next stop for Monday Night RAW.

She sat with one knee pulled up, her heel resting on the edge of the seat, her arms looped around it as she stared out the window, her iPod blasting Nirvana into her ears. He watched her as she chewed on her bottom lip and her eyes dropped every few seconds and her shoulders tightened up.

She was trying really hard not to cry.

Her quick inhale set Jay into action as he placed an arm around her and pulled her close to him. She didn't pull away or try to play it off, instead she leaned into him, tucking her head beneath his chin, resting her cheek on his shoulder. He ran his hand through her light brown hair.

"Hey, it's gonna be okay," he murmured.

She just nodded once.

/

Jay stood opposite of Stu in the middle of the ring as they waited for Paige.

"I feel fucking useless." Jay growled, hands in fists on his hips as he chewed the inside of his cheek.

"Join the club," Stu muttered.

"I-I've never seen her like this so...depressed. It's...depressing," the blonde laughed bitterly, shaking his head. "God, what are we gonna do," he ran a hand roughly down his face.

Stu shook his head, he was out of ideas as well. For the past couple days he'd stuck close to Paige, trying to keep her entertained and distracted, trying to get her to laugh or at least smile genuinely.

His efforts had been all in vain. Nothing had worked. The task was beginning to seem impossible, the result unattainable.

"Hey guys," Paige called as she made her way to the ring, jogging up the steel steps.

The smile she sent their way was the best she could muster. It was still all together transparent and it didn't reassure Stu or Jay like it was supposed to. All three of them knew it.

/

Heath looked across the table at his best friend, who sat, forearms resting on the table top, eyes focused there as well, not looking around, not speaking. He was completely unreachable and unresponsive. For some reason, after last Monday he had completely withdrawn into himself, like a stubborn turtle, and refused to come out and interact with the world.

The redhead didn't want to worry about a full-grown man. But he was seriously beginning to worry.

Heath looked up. The table he and PJ were sitting at was close to the entrance of the room catering had set up in for that night and whenever a Superstar or Diva walked in it was easy to see who it was.

"I seriously have no fucking ideas on what to do. I'm completely out. I've tried everything I can think of."

And the sound of the voice, PJ's head lifted and the South African watched Jay walk into catering with Matt Hardy.

"I'll talk to you later Heath," PJ muttered as he pushed back his chair and got up.

"That'll be Christmas come early for me," Heath mumbled to himself, watching his friend walk over to the table where Jay and Matt had just sat down.

"Jay, can I talk to you for a minute?" PJ asked, standing at the edge of the table, looking anxious.

Jay arched an eyebrow, "I can't stop you."

PJ glanced to the side, "how is she?"

Jay noted that he didn't use her name, he couldn't look him in the eye either.

Jay also noticed the dark circles and the mussed hair that wasn't just a fashion statement. This was taking a toll on PJ, just as it was on Paige. This break up was unhealthy, it wasn't the right thing. Jay was beginning to see that. But then again, PJ had made a huge mistake and Jay wasn't sure if he was ready to forgive him for hurting his best friend. He also wasn't sure if Paige was ready to forgive PJ either.

"She's...been better. Break ups are always hard." Not a lie.

"She..." PJ didn't know another question to ask. He swallowed, "did she tell you we talked?"  
Shock instantly registered on Jay's face and if PJ had blinked he would've missed it.

"Um, uh, no, she didn't mention it."

"Oh." PJ nodded and turned to leave.

He paused and turned back to Jay, "is she happier now?"

Jay met the man's gaze, seeing the pained and tight expression on the South African's face reminded him of how Paige looked.

"No, not at the moment."

And that statement made PJ's heart hurt even more.

Jay was suddenly itching to speak with Paige. "Excuse me," he muttered to Matt, standing up and brushing past PJ.

PJ watched the man rush out of catering.

"Hey, man." Matt said and PJ turned to look at him.

He stood up and clapped PJ on the shoulder, "let's take a walk."

PJ nodded, following Matt out of catering. They began to amble down the halls aimlessly. Matt asked him about the Nexus storyline, spoke about common, light subjects. It was distracting PJ for the time being, and he appreciated it.

But then as they walked down the halls, John Cena and Randy Orton passed by them. John took a step in PJ's direction but Randy quickly caught the man's arm, muttering something lowly. John just fixed PJ with a solid glare before turning and continuing off down the hall at a quicker, angrier pace.

PJ turned to look at Matt with raised eyebrows, "why does it feel like he hates me? I've never even talked to the guy."  
Matt nodded slowly, "that's because you don't know."

"Don't know what?" PJ's eyebrows furrowed.

"About Paige and John."

"Paige and John?"

"Toward the end of her relationship with Phil, she was put in a romantic storyline with Cena. Pretty much everyone backstage knew that Cena had a thing for her, and everyone knew that her and Phil were on some rocky ground. We all just kinda hoped she and Cena would get together."

"Did they?"

"They would've. The night she broke up with Phil, was the same night as her accident."

"Cena was..."

"They one who caused it, yeah." Matt looked up at the ceiling, remembering the day well.

Matt sighed, "the worst part is, John never visited her at the hospital, even though he had sworn to her he'd always be there, that'd he'd give up anything, do anything to be with her. He never showed up." Matt looked down at the floor, a look of self-loathing crossing his features, "none of us did."

A short, feminine laugh suddenly distracted PJ from Matt's words. The South African looked up, his eyes finding her immediately.

She was laughing, a smile curling her lip as she looked up at Stu. She looked happy.

PJ crossed his arms over his chest and looked down. Maybe it was the right thing to do to let her go, maybe they weren't meant to be. Maybe he'd pushed it too much. Maybe she didn't love him the same way he loved her.

Maybe he just didn't have the answers to all those maybes.

Maybe that smile and that laugh was forced.

Maybe was something that could kill you with the not knowing.


	28. Broken Back From This Heavy Heart

_**I'd like to say thanks to **Kirstein Renee Orton **for reminding me that this fic still existed and that people are still reading it. Your review got me inspired to write this chapter and update for you guys.**_

_**I'd also like to thank everyone else who reviewed: **DeathDaisy**, **RandomRonnie450**, **nic-002001**,** Pinayprincesa**, and **iBrizzy- Daughter of Hermes_.

_**Other than that I'd like to say that I'm gonna have a ton of time to update, and I think I will now that I'm on fall break, but I'm not going to make any promises. But, my inspiration is back, so that's really good.**_

_**Hope you guys enjoy. Please leave reviews because they make my life and it'll be nice to know there are still readers out there. **_

_**Onward and upward**_

_**xoxoxo**_

_**Angel **_

_***if there are any grammatical errors, please let me know, thanks.**_

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't**_

_**Chapter 28- My Back Has Been Breaking From This Heavy Heart**_

"So, how'd the meeting with Creative go?" Jay asked, handing me my Starbucks order which he had insisted on paying for. I took the drink, giving him a grateful nod.

"It didn't go horribly." I shrugged, "we went over a lot of what Vince had already told me about my character making her heel turn. Then we went over some new ideas for ring gear with one of the designers and we did a quick photo shoot for WWE dot com," I listed off the things that I had done in the short four hours I had been there.

"Oh, so that's why you're all dolled up," Jay said.

I rolled my eyes at him, but chose not to verbally respond to the comment, "and we picked out new entrance music."

"Ooh, that actually sounds interesting," he said.

"What and taking pictures of me isn't?"

"Well..."

I just shook my head, trying to force myself to enjoy the playful banter, but my heart wasn't in it. My smile was half of what it used to be, my laughter a broken sound when it left my lips—which rarely happened.

I tugged on one of the tight, hair-sprayed curls that the stylist had produced for the photo shoot. I'd been informed that once I was officially heel my hair would most always been straight when I was on screen, to differentiate from my curly haired, baby face character.

"Hey," Jay tugged one of my curls and I lifted my eyes to his. "How are you doing?"

I shrugged, "I'm...surviving."

I looked away, sipping my drink, ignoring the stinging heat of it, and swallowed, staring out the window at the people walking on the sidewalk. Innocent couples, smiling, holding hands, laughing, in deep conversation. I chewed my lip as my heart throbbed and longed for just that.

"Does he know you're in love with him?"

"No." I answered absently before even realizing the question and my honest answer. I blinked as my eyes widened. I didn't dare look at Jay.

"Yeah, I didn't think so..." he sighed. "Can I give you some advice?"

"I don't know, can you?" I cast my eyes over at him quickly to see a smirk appear on his lips.

"Don't let things end like this without telling him. Okay? The worst thing that could happen is you two going on with the rest of your lives without knowing. You'll regret it, and its not worth it to wonder what could've been all because you didn't have to balls to tell him you love him."

I stared at Jay for a moment and then nodded.

I wet my lips as my mouth suddenly went dry, "I think...I think something's wrong with me."

His eyebrows furrowed, "what do you mean?"

"I-I'm attracted to someone else..."

He laughed softly, "Paige, that's normal."

I set my jaw, "it just feels wrong."

Jay's eyes searched my face, "then that should tell you something in itself."

/

"Monday again," I murmured as Stu and I walked into the arena. We had a quick meeting before the show but other than that we had a lot of free time on our hands.

"Yep." He glanced over at me, "one well till your match."

"Yeah, speaking of, I'm meeting up with Victoria in a couple minutes to choreograph the match. So I'm gonna go change and then head to the ring. I'll catch up with you later." I said, touching his arm lightly before heading off to the Divas locker room.

Victoria was already dressed and ready, waiting for me in the locker room. I nodded to her in greeting as I set my bag down.

"Let me just change real fast and then we can go," I said as I tugged the royal blue shirt I was wearing off, switching into a neon sports bra and a pair of black tights. I threw my hair up into a high pony tail and then turned to Victoria nodding to express I was ready to go.

She nodded in return and we left the locker room, heading down to the ring. I got a running start and slid into the ring under the bottom rope. I rolled over onto my knees and then got to my feet, turning to face Victoria who was standing on the apron with raised eyebrows.

"Sorry, I'm just starting to feel more comfortable in the ring." I let out a relieved sigh, relaxing my shoulders.

She smiled hesitantly, "but that's good."

I nodded in agreement, "it is. The more comfortable I am, the better this match will be. So," I smirked, "I've always been known to steal the finishers of others and now that I'm gonna be heel it'll be even better. So, mind running me through your finisher?"

"Not at all, let's get started."

We ran through her finisher, and then began to plan out the match move by move, starting with the traditional lock up.

I took a step back as she suggested the over-use Diva "catfight" moment, where one Diva tackles the other to the ground and literally claws at her like two frantic cats.

I raised my eyebrows, "never in my career have I ever done that in one of my matches. That's the exact thing I've been against since day one. I won't disappoint the fans like that." I placed my hands on my hips, "how bout you hit me with a fisherman suplex and attempt a pin?"

She blinked, "you're okay with that?"

I shrugged, motioning with my hands that I didn't care, "I've had worse done to me. And one of my finishers is a slingshot suplex-neckbreaker combo, so it evens us out for outstanding moments in the match."

"They weren't joking," she murmured.

I tilted my head slightly, "who wasn't joking about what?"

She rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly before running her fingers through her bright red hair. "I talked to some of the other Divas, the ones who've been around for a while. Beth, Layla, all of them and they said you were one of the best Divas any of them have ever worked with in the business because you don't hog the spotlight and you like to give each competitor their own spots to shine and...you don't do anything reckless or off the script or..." She shrugged, "they said you're the best opponent another Diva could have."

I felt my face heat up as I heard the compliments, "I'm not that great, trust me." I said, waving away her comments. "It's just common courtesy to give each Diva their due in a match. And I don't like to see anyone get hurt because of me."

"So many Divas in the locker room have gotten the recognition they have because of a breakout match against you where you make them look ten thousand times better than they really are. I saw the match with Eve, that was...spectacular."

I rolled my eyes, "she was getting her push, Creative wanted her to look like a serious wrestler, I knew I could get that across if I played my cards right."

"And you've trained the upcoming Divas at FCW. I remember, I was in one of your workshops."

"Alright, seriously, I don't need my ego stroked anymore." I laughed slightly and shook my head, "show me your fisherman suplex," I said, taking a stance and motioning for her to come at me.

She sighed but acquiesced and executed the fisherman suplex beautifully. As I rolled to me knees I smiled at her, "that was great. We're definitely doing that."

"Are you going to hit the moonsault?" She asked.

I hesitated for a moment and was silent as I pushed myself to my feet. I placed my hands on my hips, looking up at her, "I don't...I don't think so. I'm not ready for that yet," I said, eying the turnbuckles warily.

"That's understandable," she murmured and I just nodded.

"I'm really glad that I get to be your opponent for your return match," Victoria said, "and I'm not trying to kiss ass or whatever, that's the honest truth. I've worked matches with all the other Divas and yeah, some of them are really good at what they do, but this has been the best session I've had with another Diva in a long time."

"I'm glad I'm wrestling you, you make up for my lack of confidence, being all infatuated with me because I'm the only real veteran Diva on the roster." I laughed.

"I promise I'll stick to the script."

I shook it off, "I'm not worried about that. It's usually a guy thing to do that." I took my hair out of it's holder and redid my pony tail.

She just nodded as her cell phone started ringing. She leaned through the ropes, picking up her phone from where she had left it on the apron. She bit her lip for a moment, she looked over at me, "it's PJ."

I held up my hands, "take it, I think we deserve a break anyways."

I slid between the ropes and sat down on the apron, dangling my legs as I picked up my own phone, sending a quick text to Jay, telling him my session in the ring was going well. I was trying to focus on my game of Temple Run but my ears instantly picked up on Victoria's conversation with PJ.

"Hey, I'm working in the ring with Paige right now." I heard her pacing the ring as she spoke, "yeah, I told you it was today. It's for our match next week. No it's just us here." There was a pause as she swallowed, "um, she's just a couple feet away from me, so..."

I tried to tune her out as I closed my eyes and evened out my breathing. My phone dinged as I received a reply from Jay.

_That's great to hear. I'm hanging with the Nexus guys, meet up with us when you're done?_

I texted him back quickly, telling him I would and by the time I sent the message I heard Victoria ending her conversation with PJ.

I rolled back into the ring and faced Victoria who smiled at me apologetically, "sorry about that."

"Don't worry about it," I paused, staring at her but not really seeing her for a moment, "how, um, how is he?"

She studied me for a moment and it was as if I could see the wall that suddenly rose between us. Victoria narrowed her eyes at me.

"He's miserable."

I bit my lip and she continued.

"But he's functioning."

I tucked my bangs behind my ear and let out a breath.

"I honestly don't think you have a right to look like that at the mention of him. You're the one who ended things without giving him a chance to even explain himself. So wipe that pitiful look off your face and show me your slingshot suplex."

I steeled myself and did as she asked, we ran through the rest of our match without any more compliments or kind words. I couldn't blame her though, she had a point, but she didn't understand.

/

_**[on screen]**_

_** Kelly Kelly leaned in to Alicia Fox and Eve as they whispered conspiratorially. **_

_** "I heard she's been **_**helping ****_the Nexus. Can you believe that?" Kelly Kelly said._**

_** "I can, she's dating one of them," Eve reminded the other two Divas.**_

_** "There's no way we can trust her, who knows what she may have planned." Alicia whispered back.**_

_** Suddenly the three quieted as the door to the locker room opened and the topic of their conversation walked into the room.**_

_** Athena set down her purse, eyebrows furrowing as she caught the other three Divas staring at her and noticed the sudden silence that spread throughout the room.**_

_** "Evening ladies," she greeted, shaking out her wavy hair. **_

_** "Hey," the replied reluctantly.**_

_** "Did you guys want to grab some dinner after the show?" Athena asked, turning to them.**_

_** The three shared looks before Alicia turned back to Athena, "We have an early morning tomorrow so we're just going to head back to the hotel after the show."**_

_** At that moment the Bella Twins walked into the room.**_

_** "Are we still on for dinner after the show?" Brie asked.**_

_** Athena's eyebrows furrowed as glared at the three Divas who had just blatantly lied to her. "Alright then, I can tell when I'm not wanted. I'll just leave," she picked up her purse and exited the locker room.**_

_**[off screen]**_

Stu sidled up to me as I stood in the hallway outside then locker room where I'd just filmed my segment.

"You ready for later?" he asked.

I shrugged, "yeah, I just have to act frightened for the man I love."

"Speak of, have you talked to him recently?" Stu asked casually.

"We ran into each other last week. It was awkward. I haven't talked to him since."

"Do you think you two will ever be able to talk again?"

I shrugged, "I don't know, maybe in time." _Lots of time_, I added mentally.

"Do you think you'll move on from him?"

I blinked, surprised by the sudden line of questioning. "I don't know...I guess."

_**[on screen]**_

_** It was later on in the evening, and this time when the camera panned the Divas locker room, Athena was alone inside. **_

_** She busied herself as she faced into her locker, not even looking up at the sound of the door opening.**_

_** Suddenly a palm slammed the door to her locker closed. She spun around quickly to come face to chest with Wade Barrett, who stood menacingly over her, hands braced against the metal of the lockers on either side of her head, blocking her in.**_

_** She immediately put on a brave face, narrowing her blue-gray eyes up at him.**_

_** "What do you want?" she asked, tone annoyed. **_

_** "I've told you before Athena, I want you on the side of the Nexus." He smirked, "and I'm willing to do whatever I have to to make it happen."**_

_** "Nothing you can say or do will make me choose to be a part of the Nexus. You guys have done terrible things. I could never side with people who purposefully beat down Bret Hart, who could hardly defend himself. And then Vince McMahon as well. This is crazy." Athena was done speaking to him, but couldn't escape so she turned around back to her locker and wrenched the door open.**_

_** Wade leaned into her, mouth close to her ear and she tensed up as he spoke. "I'll be very angry if you don't join the Nexus. I think, if you refuse, I'll take my anger out on your boyfriend."**_

_** She gasped softly before her eyes darkened into a steely, ice blue. She spun back around, "you wouldn't dare. He's a part of the Nexus."**_

_** "Doesn't mean he's safe from attack, love."**_

_** "Don't call me that."**_

_** He just chuckled slightly, "I'll be expecting your answer next week." And with that he pushed off the lockers and left the room. **_

_** Athena stared after him for a moment before running a hand through her wavy hair and letting out a heavy sigh.**_

_** "What am I gonna do?" she whispered to herself.**_

_**[off screen]**_

"You know, you can be really creepy when you want to be," I said to Stu as we walked away from the Divas locker room where we had just filmed my last video segment for the night.

He just laughed and then shrugged, "its a gift."

"I don't know if I'd call it a gift," I joked, nudging him with my elbow.

"You're starting to sound like yourself again," he commented with a slight smile.

I shrugged, not sure how to respond.

"I think we should celebrate." He said suddenly.

I raised an eyebrow at him, "celebrate what?"

"I don't know. Anything."

I laughed openly and he joined in. I shook my head, "sure, why not."

"Alright, so we'll go out after the show then."

"Yeah, go take care of your Nexus business. I'll see you after and we'll go get drunk."

"Sounds like an amazing plan of action." And with that he walked off to find the rest of the Nexus guys. I smirked slightly to myself, watching him go before shaking my head and turning back to the locker room to gather my things.

/

"Alright, we're at a bar, what do we do now?" I asked as we sat down at a small bar, it was quite and not like the usual club scene the WWE Superstars and Divas visited after a show.

"Why drink of course." He stated simply as he motioned for the bartender to pour us two shots.

"Until we can't remember each others names?" I asked as a shot was slid in front of each of us.

"Until we can't remember our own names," he said, tilting his shot glass toward mine, they clinked together before we both downed the drink of straight alcohol.

I whistled as I set the shot glass down, and then I smiled.

"Why are you smiling like that?" Stu asked, nudging me with his shoulder.

"Two reasons." I said, turning to face him in my bar stool. "One, I'm actually having fun." Two more shots were placed in front of us, I took one and downed it before stealing the second shot out of his hand, I downed that one as well, "and two," I pointed to my face, "this smile is_ real_."

"Another reason to drink. Cheers."

/

"Do you think Paige is interested in Stu?"

PJ had ambushed Jay with the question while he was walking to his rental car. Now he turned to face the dark haired man.

"No...I don't think so," Jay sighed, "but I don't know for sure."

Suddenly, Paige's words from a couple days ago swept through Jay's mind.

_"I-I'm attracted to someone else..."_

He knew that Stu had become close with Paige, helping her in the ring, keeping her entertained, distracting her from the inevitable dark pit of heartache, but Jay had never got the feeling that they had become more, or were becoming so.

But suddenly he wasn't sure. Remembering Paige's confession of her attraction towards someone who wasn't PJ suddenly but Jay on edge as he wondered if she had real feelings for Stu.

PJ stared at the blond man, noticing the change in his expression. "There's something."

Jay looked back at the South African. "I really think you need to just talk to Paige."

"It's hard to talk to someone where they're unwilling to listen." PJ stated.

"Then try harder, if you're persistent eventually you'll get to her." Jay turned to continue to his car, wishing to end the conversation there.

"I just need to know that she hasn't moved on Jay, because I honestly haven't." There was a heavy breath, "and I don't think I'll ever be able to."

Jay turned around slowly, risking a glance at the younger man. He saw the steel in PJ's eyes, the resolve, the truth, the promise there.

"I'm in love with her Jay. I need her. And I will do anything to get her back."

Jay was a little baffled, slightly surprised, and quite impressed with the man standing before him. He nodded with a slight smile.

"I know you do. It's not hard to figure out, but hearing you say it like that, it makes me think I can forgive you for your moment of stupidity."

PJ relaxed slightly, the tension in his shoulders easing and his confidence wavered as he asked, "so...has, has she moved on?"

"Not that I know of. And she pretty much tells me everything." Jay said before turning and clicking the unlock button to his rental, the lights of the car flashing briefly.

PJ grinned to himself as hope suddenly flared in his chest and the ache of the brokenness he'd felt for the past couple weeks suddenly seemed bearable for just a little while longer. Until he could talk to Paige, and tell her. Tell her everything.

/

"Tell me something you've never told anyone else," Stud said, motioning to her with his hand which held a shot glass precariously between his fingers. Honestly, he'd lost track a while ago.

Paige smiled slightly, biting the corner of her lip in thought, "oh, I've got one." She grinned to herself, "I've never had a one night stand before."

"Never?" He asked.

"Never." She replied with a single shake of her head. "I've only ever slept with someone I've been in love with."

"That's impressive."

"So you're not sitting here drinking with a slut," she said, tipping her shot glass toward him before drinking it down, "congrats to you. Your turn."

They'd been playing this game for a while now, sharing secrets with each other as they got hopelessly drunk.

"I studied marine biology at University. Have a degree in it actually."

She snorted, obviously not taking him seriously. He shot her a serious look at she laughed.

"Oh my god, you're not kidding."

"Not at all."

She laughed, slapping the bar top, "I never would've guessed that."

"What about you, what did you study in college?" he asked.

She shook her head, "didn't go. Never finished high school." She shrugged.

"Really?"

"Dropped out when I was sixteen. Started training then." She just lifted a shoulder, "I was never really a fan of the classroom.

Stu was silent for a long moment, just watching her as she took another shot and then noticed his staring, lifting an eyebrow at him in question.

"What're you looking at?" she asked.

"You, of course." He replied simply as he rested his elbow on the bar, "I like you Paige."

"I like you too," She said, patting his arm. "I also like Jose here," she said, nodding to her shot glass.

He gave her a lopsided grin, "no, I mean, I'm attracted to you. Immensely."

She had lifted the shot glass to her lips as he said that and then she froze, blinking before she set the alcohol back down and looked at him. "What did you just say?"

"I said-"

She cut him off, "no, I heard you."

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

She turned toward him, opening her mouth to speak, but before she could get a word out, he cupped the back of her head with his hand and brought her lips to his, sealing them together as his other hand settled on her waist.

He'd waited to do this for a while now, and when the opportunity presented itself, he took it, quickly, passionately, without a real explanation.

He pulled back after a long moment and looked at her, but she was already gone.

He blinked and looked around, seeing her retreating figure as she ran out of the establishment.

He sighed and ran a hand down his face.

Maybe it hadn't been the opportunity he thought it was.


	29. I Don't Blame You For Being You

_**So, I want to make this quick so we can get on with the chapter but I want to let all of my loyal, amazing, incredible reviewers know that I take a true author's stance when I start writing out a fic/story. I'm not one of those fanfiction authors who changes the end of the story based on what his/her readers think or feel. I apologize if that sounds a little cold-hearted, but its the truth. I know where my fics are heading and ending before I even start writing out full chapters. And sure, not everything is set in stone, but I usually do not change the ending of my fic. Ever. I do love hearing your guys opinions, your feedback is AMAZING, but I just want you to know that I don't base my stories off of my readers. My fics go where they were intended to go no matter what someone says in between. You can ask Kiwi, she'll back me up on this, I'm a mad planner when it comes to fics. **_

_**Other than that I want to send a quick "thank you very much" to my amazing reviewers: **nic-002001**, **SaintVille**,** Pinayprincesa**, **DeathDaisy**, **Momo**, **KiwiStar**, **iBrizzy- Daughter of Hermes**, and **beesaurs. **You guys make me want to write more, even when I have no time for it! Thank you so much :) **_

_**Haven't done this in a while soooo: I only own Paige, and her family. All else belongs to their respective owner, which is not me. **_

_**Onward and upward,**_

_**xoxoxo**_

_**Angel**_

_**PS- there's a poll on my page...vote please? **_

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't**_

_**Chapter 29- I Don't Blame You For Being You As I Take My Last Chance To Burn A Bridge Or Two**_

She was a professional at avoiding someone and for the past four days, that person had been Stu.

Since that night at the bar, where he'd kissed her, he hadn't seen her or spoken to her. She wouldn't even answer his calls.

Now he knew what PJ felt like.

It didn't help that Jay was now standing before him with a hard, questioning look on his face. Stu realized the question he had asked hadn't been the smartest. Asking Jay made it even stupider.

"What do you mean where is she? Aren't you attached to her other hip?" Jay asked, looking at the aforementioned body part before looking back at Stu's face. "So she didn't tell you that she was going home this week?"

Stu just shook his head.

"Answers my question then," Jay muttered under his breath, crossing his arms over his chest.

"What question might that be?" Stu asked, eyebrows furrowing.

Jay raised his eyebrows, "are you two together? Because I haven't given you the warning that you need to stay away from her in that sense. Paige is in a really delicate, fragile place right now and the last thing she needs is a _guy—_you—," he pointed one hand at the Brit, but kept his arms crossed, "coming in a messing with her head and heart anymore than one guy already has." Jay shrugged, "but the fact that she didn't tell you where she was going answers my question. You're not together."

"No, no we're not." Stu ran a hand through his hair, "there's nothing going on between Paige and I."

She'd made that pretty clear.

-x-o-x-o-x-

I sighed heavily as I stared out the airplane window at the clouds floating past. It was Wednesday night, and I only had a couple more days until my return match. My heart began to pound at just the thought of stepping into that ring, in front of thousands of people who are watching, waiting to compare me to how I used to be. If I didn't match up, I would be letting everyone down. All my hard work the past few weeks would have been for nothing. All the hours I'd put in, that Stu and Jay had put in, that PJ had put in, they needed to pay off. I needed to look good out there. Better than that. I needed to look amazing.

I needed to work myself over to the crowd like I usually did with other Divas.

I sighed again, rubbing my temple with my fingertips, ready for the flight to be over.

I don't know what made me decide I wanted to go home from the weekend, maybe it was my last moment to let myself make the decision. Was I going to come back, and actually _be _back, or was I going to run away in fear.

Just a few more days and then I would have to face it. If I didn't get on that plane Saturday to take me back to the road, I might as well never come back.

The severity of the issue weighed down on me, heavily. The fear, which was always present even when I tried to push it out of my mind, crushed me in a paralyzing way.

One misstep. I knew what that could do. I was well aware of the consequences of lack of communication. Victoria had promised she'd stick to the script.

So had John, time and time again, promising he'd never hurt me, promising he'd never give up on me.

Everyone gave up on me. For a year, it felt like they all had, like I was dead to them.

The plane landed, rolling, shuddering to a stop and I collected my carry-on, tugging my baseball cap low on my head. The last thing I wanted to do was run into a bunch of fans this late at night, at the airport.

I hurried along, following the familiar signs to the luggage terminal, where I waited impatiently with crossed arms for my bag to slide around the carousel. I was too tired to chase it down like usual, so I just waited, exercising my patience to it's extreme.

Finally, with my suitcase in hand and carry-on slung over my shoulder, I headed for the exit. On the street I hailed a cab and then directed him to my small, modest home.

It felt great to be back in my home, the rooms and furniture comfortable, my preferred setting since a wrestling ring just didn't hold the same appeal that it did before I broke my neck.

I flopped down onto my couch and didn't wake until sun streamed through the windows late into the next morning.

I had a mission. If I was going to compete on Monday and face my biggest fear, I would need to conquer a few smaller ones first.

Staring through the glass cage, I watched the snake as it slithered up to the glass, tongue flicking, eyes glazed and watching me.

I'd always been afraid of snakes, ever since my brother's and I found one out in the fields behind our house and it lunged at me. My brother's had beaten it down with the snake, but ever since that day, I had recurring nightmares of snakes chasing at me, lunging for my throat with fangs outstretched. But in the dreams, my brothers were never there to kill it and I woke up in a cold sweat, eyes wide, breathing heavy.

I straightened and waved over an employee.

"Can I hold him?" I asked.

The guys blinked at me, probably wondering why a girl like myself wanted to hold a snake. I must of looked like a deer caught in the headlights. I could feel the epinephrine start to course through my veins at a rapid pace, but I was determined to not run in fear. I was going to get over it, I was going to hold the snake, let it slither over my arm.

Soon after I thought those things, the snake was doing so, tongue flicking the air millimeters above my flesh. Silently I begged it not to bite me and I stood deathly still, not wanting to aggravate the creature with any sudden movements.

The employee watched me with raised eyebrows as I watched the snake. It's fluid body wrapped around my arm and moved with an unnatural and unnerving grace over my skin. My breath was coming out in soft pants but I schooled myself. With deep breaths I calmed, I closed my eyes briefly, not really wanting to take my eyes off the snake, just in case. But soon, I was back to normal, composed.

I looked down at the snake and then back at the employee, "okay, you can take him back." He did, without asking questions. He placed the snake back in it's cage and I turned without another word and left the pet store.

Next, I sat in a surprisingly comfortable chair and watched as the woman on the stool next to me prepared the necessary equipment.

Giving blood, needles more specifically, was always something I had been afraid of.

I crossed that off the list several hours later, after downing a glass of orange juice.

As Thursday wore on, I felt a little bit more confident and by the end of the day, I only had one thing left on the list to do.

Friday morning I awoke early and was in my truck, already driving by nine am. It wasn't a long drive, but I needed to make sure I got there when he would be coming home for lunch. If they still followed the same schedule they did when I was still living at home, then 11:15 would be about the exact time.

Being back there again so soon made my skin tighten with the tension of it. My most recent memory of my childhood home was just as terrible as all the others I harbored in my memory banks. It was just as unwanted and just as unappreciated.

He was sitting on the porch, my mother having just brought out a pitcher of fresh iced tea. My brother's kids were playing in the yard while my brother's were probably hard at work.

My father saw me approach up the front walk, but he didn't stand, didn't move his posture to insinuate he was intimidated or intended to act defensively. He just stared me down with that same uncaring look he gave me when he told me to get out of his house.

I didn't walk up the three steps that would take me to the porch, instead I just stood at the bottom of them and looked up at him, ready to say what I had come to say.

"I pray that God will be merciful and forgive you for all the wrong and hurtful things you have done, because there have been many." I let my blue-gray eyes steal into him for a moment, watched as his face remained impassive. I knew I wouldn't receive much of a reaction, and that was okay.

"You probably think I showed up here to cuss you out and tell you how much I hate you. But I'm here to do something much better." I took a breath, my eyes never leaving him and his never leaving me. "I'd like to thank you for kicking me out of your house at sixteen. I learned so much, I gained so much. I'm where I am today because of it." The wind swept my hair at an angle, but I didn't move to push it out of my face, he could still see my eyes, which mirrored his. The one thing he'd given me and let me keep. "And I forgive you, it's not your fault you grew to be such a hateful, spiteful man. I'm sure you weren't always that way. So I can't hate you for it, and I forgive you for being such a terrible father."

The front door creaked open during my last sentence and my mother stood there, staring down at me shocked.

I didn't spare her a glance, I decided a long time ago that I'd rather be like my father than like my mother.

I'd prefer to not be like either of them, but free will could only do so much against genetics.

It was okay though, I'd said what I'd needed to say.

I'd conquered my biggest fear.

I was afraid of forgiving him, afraid of being him.

I was no longer afraid of that.

/

The locker room at the house show was half full when I walked in, waving a greeting to the girls as I found a piece of wall and a hook for myself.

Beth and Nattie sidled up to me and struck up a conversation that I immediately knew was a shallow hook that would lead to something that they actually wanted to talk about.

"You guys can just get to the point," I murmured, "you're totally obvious."

Beth faux-gasped, a hand coming to hover over her lips, "I have no idea what you're talking about." Nattie nodded along, faking innocence.

I rolled my eyes and as I did I saw Victoria out of the corner of my eye, turned slightly away from us, but definitely in earshot.

"Just ask what you've been dying to ask." I said, figuring it was probably something about PJ. Sure, they'd been great right after the break up, when things felt like they were suddenly going down hill and I was entering that dark place, but ever since I pushed the depression aside and began focusing on more important things they liked to bring up PJ a whole lot more.

"We heard you and Stu went out for drinks earlier this week..." Nattie trailed off.

Victoria, who had been taking a sip from her water bottle, choked on the liquid and covered it up with a cough and a loosely curled fist.

The two blonds next to me took no notice, they were too engrossed in waiting to hear my answer.

"Stu and I are friends."

"But you went out. Together. To a bar. Where you got drunk."

I arched an eyebrow at her, "how do you know I got drunk?"

She shrugged, "I hear things."

"You hear rumors. And rumors are not true. I thought you're supposed to be the smart one Beth." I said, nudging her with my elbow.

"So there's nothing going on?" Nattie said, undeterred.

"Not that I know of." I shrugged, "Plus, it's way too soon after PJ. Even if I'm attracted to Stu it doesn't really-" I was suddenly cut off by a squeak and a gasp.

When I turned to look at the two blonds, Nattie was pointing at me and Beth's mouth was hanging open slightly.

"What?" I asked, eyebrows furrowing.

"You just admitted you're attracted to him."

"As I pointed out the reasons he and I aren't and won't be getting together any time soon."

They both relaxed.

"Good because...no matter what stupid mistakes PJ has made, let's face it, we've all made them." Beth reasoned.

"And you two are too damned adorable together," Nattie agreed.

I gave her a look.

"Maybe adorable isn't the right word," Beth corrected hastily.

"You fit, each other. It just...it works, and everyone around you can tell. We can tell when you're together, when you're talking," Nattie explained.

"When you're not together, when you're not talking..." Beth continued.

"When one of you is trying to get a hold of the other but the other one goes MIA for a couple days..."

"What?" I asked.

Beth held up her hands, "you didn't hear it from me." She leaned in closer and I felt like a horrible gossip, "but word around the locker room is, PJ's been looking to talk to you about...things."

"Things? That's a little vague."

"Yeah, so is your reason for breaking up with him," Nattie said.

I sent her a glare, "I thought girlfriends were supposed to have your back?"

"You thought wrong. We fight for what makes you happy."

I just smiled at them and shook my head, turning back to my locker as they said they were heading to catering. I told them I'd catch up with them in a couple minutes as I pulled out my phone.

I'd avoided Stu long enough, I really needed to talk to him, to clear things up about that kiss.

_Hey. We need to talk, you free? _

I fiddled with my hair as I waited for a reply.

_I'm busy tomorrow. _

My eyebrows furrowed at his strange response. I hadn't even suggested a date or time. We could've done it that day.

Deciding not to over think it, I figured it could wait a couple more days, and I slid my phone back into my purse before leaving the locker room.

/

As I waited for my order at Starbucks on Monday morning Stu slid into the spot beside me in the busy coffee shop, sliding his wallet back into his pocket.

I turned my head in his direction before changing my mind and continuing to look forward. I just raised my eyebrows as he stared down at me.

"So you're not busy today?" I asked, letting my slight annoyance slip into my tone, letting it have a witty, mocking snap to it.

"No, I'm not," he replied, looking down at his nails.

I rolled my eyes and stepped up to the counter as my name was called. I took my drink and turned to walk out.

"If you have the time of day to talk to me, I'll be outside." I said lowly to him as I stepped past and used my free hand to push open the door.

I exited out onto the street a warm summer breeze catching my hair as I glanced around at the lives carrying on, passing by me obliviously.

Parents and kids, old and young couples, workers and walkers all milling about consumed by their own personal dramas and issues.

I sighed.

"No need to be so impatient," Stu's voice met me as he stepped up next to me.

"Impatient is not the word I would use." I murmured, taking a sip of my drink.

There was a long silence as we both focused on our drinks instead of the words that needed to be spoken. Finally, I decided to bite the bullet.

"So, I've been doing some thinking." I crossed my arms, holding my cup close to my lips still.

Stu turned to me, "before you say what I know you're going to say. I just need to...do something."

I lifted my eyes to look up at him as he suddenly moved in, his free hand touching my waist as his lips brushed mine before landing in a much more bruising manner.

It snapped in me immediately that it was wrong, my hand let go of my coffee, barely registering the crash of cup and spilling of the hot liquid splashing against my flip-flop clad feet. Quickly, roughly, I pushed my hands against his chance, separating myself and Stu and taking a step back.

My hands came to cover my face as I took a deep breath. "Stu," I whispered, "I can't."

Silence stretched until I finally worked up the courage to look at him. He ran a hand down his face with a heavy breath.

"I know, _I know_," he muttered, shaking his head, leaving his hand over his mouth.

As I averted my eyes I realized his coffee was lapping across the sidewalk, mixing with mine. I frowned heavily at the situation.

"I'm sorry...I, I know you're not over PJ, and I know he's not over you either. And I really don't want to be your rebound. I like you Paige, I really do, but I don't want to be someone you regret. If I ever get to be more than your friend, I want it to be real and meaningful."

I stared up at him and blinked for a moment. I let his words sink in slowly and nodded as I tugged my bottom lip between my teeth and ran a hand through my hair.

"I owe you a coffee, don't I?" He said, casting a glance down at our spilled drinks.

I cracked a slow smile and then nodded.

/

I could practically hear Jay's eyebrow raise as he walked into the gym and stood watching me as my fists slammed into the punching bag over and over and over.

He stayed silent and it was unnerving.

Finally I asked, "do you need something?" I stopped my fists, tightening my ponytail and taking deep breaths.

"I don't need anything," he said, walking closer, holding out his arms.

I stepped to him, hugging him. I hadn't seen him since I told him I was heading home and he drove me to the airport.

"But I know someone who does," Jay said.

I pulled back, dropping my arms from around him, my eyebrows furrowing.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, arching a brow at him.

"PJ has been looking for you." He said, moving over to hold the punching bag for me, nodding toward it.

I stepped back over, picking my taped fists up, falling into stance.

"He has?" I asked, trying to keep my shocked tone in check.

"Mmhmm."

"I didn't really believe he'd been asking around that much when Beth said something. But hearing it from you..." I trailed off.

"You two do need to talk."

I looked away from him, pointedly glaring at the punching bag as my fists slammed into its surface.

"I'm sensing something off...Has something happened or am I just crazy?" Jay asked.

"You're crazy," I deadpanned.

He rolled his eyes, "seriously Paige."

I sighed and was silent for a moment. "I talked to my dad." The corner of my mouth jerked in distaste, "well, more like talked at him."

He let go of the punching bag, straightening up and staring at me. "You did?"

"Yeah." I bit my lip, dropping my fists. I took in a deep, shuddering breath, "I thanked him for throwing me out of his house because it's the best thing that ever happened to me. And I forgave him for being a terrible father."

"You said that to him?" Jay asked, eyebrows lifting.

"Yeah." I let out a breath and then smiled, "and it felt amazing."  
Jay smiled back at me, stepping around the punching back to hug me.

"I'm proud of you." He murmured into my hair before kissing the top of my head.

I smiled against his shoulder, "thank for always being here for me Jay."

"You don't have to thank me for that. Ever."


	30. Crowds Are Won and Lost and Won Again

_**Here's another update for you guys. **_

_**It's time for Paige's return match. **_

_**Thank you so, so so so so so, soooooooo much to my lovely reviewers: **KiwiStar**, **iBrizzy- Daughter of Hermes**, **DeathDaisy**, **SaintVille**, **nic-002001**, and **PureEvilJas_

**_Next chapter is going to be an interesting one. Keep reviewing because reviews inspire me to write!_**

**_Only 6 chapters left..._**

**_xoxoxo_**

**_Angel_**

**_PS- there's a poll on my page, please vote :) _**

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't**_

_**Chapter 30- Crowds Are Won And Lost And Won Again**_

I took a deep breath as I reached into my duffel bag and pulled out my ring attire, my fingers caressing the familiar material as I gently unfolded it and hung it on the hook on the locker door.

It was a simple one-piece made of material that gave off a slight shine. A zipper descended down the front, ending at the navel and I usually left it undone to just under my bust, showing off the lacy black bra I wore beneath. It was long-sleeved, but the bottom hem resembled that of a bathing suit.

I'd always loved my ring attire, ever since the first conceptual design. I'd used the same jacket since my debut. Gold, the same color and material of my ring gear under, but with a black lace panel wrapping around the waist, edges seemed together by a short zipper.

I nodded to myself, taking a deep breath before I began to undress. I removed my ring attire from the hook and tugged it up my legs, zipping it up and then turning to look at myself in the mirror.

It felt strange but also comforting to be back in my ring gear.

I looked like myself again, my old self, the undamaged, unafraid Paige I had once been.

I could be her again if I tried, instead of just looking like her.

I had to make the decision and the distinction soon. I only had a couple hours until it would be time for my match, Athena's return match.

They'd been hyping my return match all week, going as far as to make promos showing the match where I broke my neck, pictures that had been taken after I came out of surgery, the night I first returned on NXT, and amid those were clips of some of my old matches, when I won my first championship, all my biggest accomplishments.

I could only hope I lived up to the hype.

"Hey, don't make that face."

I looked up suddenly, seeing someone else standing behind me in the reflection of the mirror. I whipped around to see Jay standing a few feet from me, hands on his waist.

"Jay? What are you doing in the _Divas _locker room?" I asked, arching an eyebrow, "is there something you need to tell me?"

"Ha, ha, very funny. I see right through the witty jokes," he said as he walked toward me, poking me in the forehead with his index finger. I ducked away.

"Seriously Paige, just take a deep breath."

I fixed him with a look, this wasn't something that deep breathing exercises could over come.

"Do it." He growled.

I rolled my eyes but after a moment relaxed, letting myself inhale deeply through my nose and then letting it out slowly through my mouth.

"Better?" Jay asked.

"Yeah, sure, happy now?"

"Not until you kick ass in your match."

I turned back to the mirror, huffing as I made a face.

"You look beautiful by the way." He said, coming up to stand next to me, placing an arm around my shoulders.

I turned my head to look up at him, "how do you have so much faith in me?"

"One of us has to be confident in your abilities."

I stared at him for a long moment before looking away.

"I need to go to hair and make up," I said after a few moments of silence.

"I'll meet up with you before your match. Go get made up," he said, shooing me out of the locker room, following behind me.

I smiled to myself as we turned and began to walk our separate ways. I spun on my heel, "thanks Jay. I really needed that. "

He lifted a hand over his head but didn't turn around to face me, "that's what I'm here for!"

/

When I walked into hair and make up, I was slightly surprised to see Victoria there as well. I mean, of course I knew she'd have to go and get ready for the show there as well, I just didn't think we'd choose to go at the same time without any planning.

"Hey," I greeted with a small wave as I sat down in the empty make up chair beside her.

"Hi," she replied, flashing a small smile my way

"Alright," our stylist Jane, clapped her hands together, "so, from what I've heard we're just straightening your hair, correct?" she asked.

I nodded, "yeah, that's all."

"Great," she replied as she turned on her flat iron.

I let my mind wander off as Jane set to work on my make up. In my head I went over the spots for my match over and over, making sure I had every little detail memorized, I couldn't go out there and just guess what would be happening next, I had to know, I had to cover all my bases so that no one would get hurt.

"Paige?"

I started at the sound of my name and turned my head to see Victoria standing next to my chair as Jane started straightening my light brown lock.

"Um," I cleared my throat, "yeah."

"I promise I'll stick to the script and what we choreographed." She said, meeting my eyes.

I stared at her for a minute before nodding and clearing my throat again, "um, thanks Victoria."

"Okay, well, I'll see you out there then."

"Yeah, I'll see you later."

With that she left and I leaned back in the chair, hoping that Jane finished my hair quickly.

_**-x-o-x-o-x-**_

"Stu, can you answer me something and be completely honest?" PJ asked as he looked up at the taller man.

The whole group of the Nexus was standing in the gorilla waiting for their second which was scheduled directly after Paige's match, which would be starting in just a couple minutes.

The other guys were all deep in conversation about something, laughing every so often at someone's joke, completely oblivious to the serious expression on PJ's face as he looked at the British man standing next to him.

"And what question would that be?" Stu asked, crossing his arms over his chest, sensing where this conversation was going.

"Has anything...happened between you and Paige?" The words were heavy on his tongue and he hadn't really wanted to voice them. It felt as if saying them aloud would make his fears physical.

Stu studied PJ and knew immediately that Paige would never bring up the kisses they had shared to PJ. He decided he would do the same.

"No, mate, nothing happened between us. We're just friends."

"But, she was avoiding you."

Stu had mistaken how well PJ knew Paige. He knew her much better than he assumed, noticed a lot more than he had imagined. He smiled to himself.

"We, uh, had a disagreement about something. That is all." True enough. He would leave out the parts about how he kissed Paige twice.

PJ stared at him for a long moment, as if weighing his words for their truth before he finally accepted them with a nod. "Thanks," he said softly.

Stu just nodded, not knowing what else to say.

"Hey boys," Victoria greeted as she walked up to the group, she slowed as she saw PJ, "hey..PJ."

"Hey," he replied with a slight nod and averted eyes.

Stu's eyebrows furrowed at the exchanged between the two. They were best friends, they never acted so strangely distant around each other.

When Stu looked up again, his eyes were immediately seized by Paige's figure as she walked down the hall, Jay at her side, toward the gorilla.

Stu nudged PJ with his elbow and the shorter man looked up, his eyes immediately locking on Paige as she turned to Jay and laughed at something her best friend said. Paige came to a stop near the curtain, Victoria a couple feet away from her, doing some last minute stretching. A stagehand called for Victoria, telling her her entrance music would be on in ten seconds. The red head nodded and made her way to the curtain.

Stu's eyes didn't leave Paige as he leaned down toward PJ, "you know, we're all very tired of you two being so extremely awkward around each other. You really need to talk to her."

PJ didn't look up at the dark haired man, he just nodded, "I know," and then he walked off in Paige's direction.

"Dear god, I didn't mean now," Stu muttered but PJ was already gone.

_**-x-o-x-o-x-**_

I shifted my weight from foot to foot and smiled at Victoria as they called her for her entrance. That meant I had a couple minutes for the commercial break and then I would be making my entrance out in front of the WWE Universe.

"You're gonna do great," Jay said, "good luck out there." He gave me a quick hug before squeezing my shoulder and walking away.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, rolling my shoulders.

When I opened my eyes I could barely contain my gasp. There standing in front of me was PJ. My heart sped up without me wanting it to and my pulse quickened. My mouth went dry and my skin tingled.

He didn't even need to touch me to elicit such a reaction, he just had to look at me with those eyes that stared and dove beneath my skin.

"PJ," I whispered, letting out a breath.

I didn't get a chance to say much house because the fingers of his one hand were sliding through my hair to cup the back of my head while his other hand rested on my neck, his thumb resting on my collarbone. Then his lips met mine and all the emotions that I had been missing came rushing back, filling the void that had been left inside me when I ended things with PJ.

My heart seemed to freeze in my chest for a moment as his lips parted mine and he tilted my head to deepen the kiss. My hands lifted before resting limply against his chest, my palm over his heart. It reassured me to feel it's quick rhythm, knowing it wasn't just me who reacted in such a heightened way.

His lips left mine, but stayed so temptingly close as he exhaled and I felt his breath fan my heated skin. His lips hovered over my skin as he moved slowly, lazily. I turned my head, following him, wanting out lips to be reacquainted again. He smiled softly, knowing what I wanted.

A single, chaste kiss was left on my lips before he whispered, "we need to talk."

De ja vu swept through me like a tsunami, wiping out all reason and suddenly I was back at the night where we shared out first kiss and I realized I was much more connected to this man than I thought I was.

Then I remembered the hurt he'd caused, the pain, the loneliness of being without him which was my fault but ultimately his and-

All my thoughts came to a crashing halt when he touched his forehead to mine, eyes boring into my own, "please don't make me stay away from you any longer."

I swallowed, finding it hard to breath suddenly. "I guess there are some things we need to talk about." I said.

He chuckled softly and I felt it rumble in his chest, which was pressed so tightly against mine.

I closed my eyes briefly and in that short moment PJ leaned in breathing, "good luck," in my ear before pulling away.

I felt suddenly cold as my eyes flew open. PJ was already retreating and a stage hand was calling my name.

I smiled to myself and tried to take in several deep breaths as I made my way to the curtain.

I closed my eyes, knowing it was time to let Athena take over.

With a nod, I signaled for my music to start.

**[on screen]**

** The Pretender by Foo Fighters began to play throughout the arena, and even though it wasn't her usual theme music, the fans reacted wildly, knowing it was Athena who would be coming out. **

** The brunette stepped out onto the stage and the crowd erupted into cheers. She stopped at the top of the ramp, striking a pose before she made her way down to the ring, her gold jacket flowing behind her. **

** She pulled herself up onto the apron, bypassing the stairs and turned to face the fans, sweeping an arm out before posing again and then seductively unzipping her jacket and shrugging slightly. One shoulder was slowly exposed and when she shrugged a second time the jacket slid down her arm and she let it fall, shaking it off. The jacket fell to the arena floor as Athena slid between the ropes and walked over to the side of the ring closest to the announce table, asking for a microphone. **

** Alicia Fox leaned against the opposite corner looking a mixture of annoyance and boredom. **

**"You know," Athena began and the crowd instantly hushed, "I'm really sick and tired of Wade Barrett and the Nexus thinking they can just show up here in the WWE and showing no respect. Just ordering people around." She pointed at the stage, "I dare Wade Barrett to come out here right now."**

** She threw the microphone aside and held her arms out, waiting for the Nexus. They never came.**

** The bell sounded as she was still watching the curtain and Alicia took advantage of the other Diva's distraction. She went for a roll up which Athena expertly reversed, getting a two count. **

** The two Divas rolled away from each other and Athena was immediately on her feet while Alicia was still on the mat. **

** Athena raised her eyebrows at the younger Diva, placing her hands on her hips. **

** "Come on," Athena said, motioning for the other woman to come at her. Alicia did and the two locked up. **

** They went back and forth for several minutes as the match exceeded the usual time limit of other Diva matches. The crowd was completely absorbed in the contest, cheering and booing with every shot thrown and move hit. **

** The momentum had been on Athena's side throughout most of the match until suddenly Alicia moved out of the way when Athena came charging at her in the corner. Her shoulder impacted the ring post hard and she held it as she fell back and away. **

** Alicia caught the veteran Diva and lifted her, executing a fisherman suplex and then going for the pin. **

** The crowd thought Athena was done for but as the ref's hand lifted and fell to make the three count, Athena's shoulder popped up off the mat and the crowd broke out into loud cheers. **

** Alicia pounded the mat hard with her fists, letting out a frustrated scream. She pointed at Athena as she got to her feet, "stay down!" Before turning her back on the other Diva.**

** Athena was then on her feet, "not a chance," she said with a smirk grabbing Alicia around the neck, yanking her roughly towards the ropes. She grabbed the waist band of Alicia's skirt and lifted her, she propelled the Diva off the ropes for momentum and as Alicia was lifted vertical in the air and was coming down Athena pivoted her body, readjusting her hold on the woman's neck and finishing the move with a neckbreaker. **

** Athena rolled over and covered Alicia and the ref counted.**

** As the bell rang the fans went wild and Athena's smile was the biggest they'd seen since she'd come back. She pushed herself to her feet and the ref grabbed her wrist, holding her hand up in victory.**

** Her music played as she hopped up onto a turnbuckle, playing to the fans as the ref knelt over Alicia, who was still laid out in the middle of the ring.**

** Then suddenly, Athena's music was replaced by that of the Nexus.**

** She turned and came down from the turnbuckle, on hand on the ropes as the Nexus walked out onto the stage. They filed down the ramp and then surrounded the ring. Athena glanced around at each member and knew she was trapped in that ring. **

** "That speech of yours was cute." Wade said, know holding a microphone. "Now, I'm sure you remember the conversation we had last week, yes?" **

** Athena swallowed but didn't reply. **

** Wade continued on, "I'm waiting for your answer."**

** The fans vehemently voiced their opinion on the matter, there was no way they wanted Athena to become a part off the Nexus. **

** "We're waiting, Athena." He smirked, "either you finish it," he pointedly looked at Alicia, "or I'll make you," and with that his eyes cut over to Justin Gabriel.**

** Alicia stumbled to her feet, causing Athena to glance over at her. **

** Alicia glanced around, seeing the members of the Nexus surrounding the ring. She looked up at Athena and ran at her, to attack her, defend herself. **

** Athena smirked, catching the woman and lifting her, executing a beautiful tilt-a-whirl backbreaker—one of Alicia's own finishers. **

** Athena pushed Alicia off of her knee and smirked before glancing over at Wade. **

** The leader of the Nexus grinned as he clapped proudly, he nodded to the other Nexus members and moving as a unit they slid into the ring. Wade lifted Athena's hand and she grinned smugly at the crowd. **

** She kicked Alicia's side as the woman curled into the fetal position before rolling out of the ring. **

** The crowd, who had once been cheering Athena's name, now booed her. **

** She was the first female member of the Nexus. **

**[off screen]**

"Holy crap, that felt amazing!" I said as I was behind the curtain and out of sight of the fans.

Jay quickly engulfed me in a hug, "you looked great out there."

"It felt great," I replied.

Suddenly Heath had a hold on me, and he slung an arm around my shoulders, "welcome to the club."

"It's very exclusive," David said.

I snorted a laugh, "exclusive to what?"

"Don't even go there Rossy," Fred said as he hugged me, pulling me away from Heath.

As the guys and I celebrated our successful segment, my eyes met PJ's from across the group. I could see the question in his eyes.

"Twenty minutes." He mouthed.

I swallowed thickly before nodding.

His smile was the last thing I saw before I ducked out of the group, saying I needed to go shower up.

/

I ran my fingers through my wet hair as I stood under the spray of the shower, letting it was the sweat off of my body.

I felt exhausted, but it was a good kind of exhausted. I had used up so much emotion and energy worrying about this match and now it was over, and it had gone well. More than well, it had gone fantastically. There were no hiccups, everyone stuck to the script, no one got hurt, everyone got over well and in the way they were supposed to. Mission accomplished.

Now I had another decision to make.

_"We need to talk." _

Four words that made me more nervous than my own return match after two years.

PJ wanted to talk.

What about? I could probably guess it had something to do with our relationship.

The real question was; did I want to talk about it?

I turned off the shower and squeezed the excess water out of my hair. I reached around the curtain and grabbed my towel off the rack, wrapping it around my body before stepping out into the bathroom.

I missed PJ, and I knew now that the way I had ended things was wrong. It had been a mistake, but there was some reasoning behind it. I had made a few good points. I did need to find some compromise in the relationship.

Had I ever really truly stopped trusting PJ? To be brutally honest, no. I still trusted him, maybe not as implicitly as before, but I still trusted him enough to love him.

To love him.

I tucked the towel in place and walked over to the counter, setting my palms flat upon the surface and leaning into the mirror, staring at my reflection.

Was I brave enough to go talk to PJ?

_**End Part IV: The Take Over, The Break's Over**_


	31. Until We're All Found Out

_**9 reviews! Wow guys! Thank you to everyone for the lovely reviews! You make me want to keep writing! Thanks to: **Love103**, **nic-002001**, **iBrizzy- Daughter of Hermes**, **PureEvilJas**, **StephNexus**, **PinayPrincesa**, **SaintVille**, **DeathDaisy**, and my **Guest **reviewer**._

**_Sorry that it's been a while since I updated. But, I think I've finally got my groove back for this fic, so that's good news. There are five more chapters left in this fic. To see what I'll be posting next, vote on my poll! _**

**_Onward and upward,_**

**_xoxoxo_**

**_Angel _**

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't**_

_**Part V: With Smiles On Our Faces**_

_**Chapter 31- Its Just A Matter Of Time Until We're All Found Out **_

"Hey, how you feeling after that match?" Jay asked, coming up beside me suddenly, falling into step with me.

I glanced up at him, letting my lip free from between my teeth, "a little sore, but that's to be expected," I shrugged.

"You really did look amazing out there, like you hadn't missed a day."

"It felt like I'd never left." I murmured and Jay smiled at me before pulling me into a one-armed hug.

"So, you going to talk to PJ?"

I blinked and turned to stare up at him, shocked, "wha-? How?"

He rolled his eyes, "you act like he kissed you in secret. You were standing in the middle of the guerrilla. Everyone say I. I just figured..." he shrugged before looking at me for confirmation.

I blew out a breath as I reached into my pocket for my phone. I nodded hurriedly, "yeah, I am...and I'm late. I'll talk to you later," I said, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before heading off down the hall toward the parking lot.

I stepped out into the brisk night air and pulled my coat tighter around me before adjusting the strap of my bag on my shoulder. Glancing around I tried to spot PJ, coming up unsuccessful. My heart sank, maybe he had changed his mind and didn't want to fix things anymore. Maybe he had moved on.

"Paige."

The sudden voice breaking the crystalline silence of the night caused me to jump slightly as I turned to face the direction the voice had come from.

There, standing in the doorway of the arena, was PJ, one hand holding open the door, the other hanging at his side as he stared at me. The wind tossed my hair in the window, obscuring my view of him for a moment and once my vision was clear again, he was in front of me, reaching out to me.

His fingers brushed my hair from my face, his mouth leaning in to mine.

I held up a hand, pressing it to his chest to stop him, to create space.

He leaned back and I could tell he was trying to reign in his disappointment.

"I think we should talk first before we...get distracted," I said, biting down on the corner of my bottom lip.

His expression brightened and he nodded in agreement, tucking his hands into his pockets before looking up at me.

I sucked in a breath, preparing myself for what I was about to say. Words I'd been unknowingly planning for the past twenty five minutes.

"I'm sorry-" we both said the words, stuttering slightly at the end when we heard one another.

"PJ, I-" he cut me off with a shake of his head and a hand cupping my cheek.

"Let me speak first, please?" he asked, eyes earnest, like he was beginning to turn the lock on his emotions and was about to let me inside a place he kept hidden away.

I don't know why I didn't argue or try to continue speaking, but I instead just nodded, my lips parting slightly as I stared at him.

"Paige," his voice was soft as he started and he seemed to be thinking over his words carefully, using utmost precision with his words. His eyes glanced up to lock with mine again as his hands fell on my face, thumbs brushing back my unruly curls.

"I'm so sorry I let you walk away that night, I regret it so much," he whispered.

"But I told you to," I whispered back.

He shook his head, "and I let you," after a moment more of his serious expression he smiled wryly, "I guess we're both at fault then."

At that revelation, the sharing of our guilt and fault, I let a small miniscule smile curl one corner of my mouth.

"We moved too fast," I whispered, "we got ahead of ourselves and thought we were the exception to all those relationship horror stories."

"But we aren't," he said, nodding, "we got our reality check."

I nodded, "but if we're going to continue on we have to change things. We need to talk about what went wrong and fix things or else we'll just end up back here, like this."

He nodded, "I know I have a lot to apologize for."

"And so do I," I replied. "How 'bout, we spend the next twenty four hours being completely honest with each other, we'll go off the grid, ask any questions we need to and answer truthfully." I said before shivering, wrapping my arms around myself, rubbing my upper arms for warmth.

PJ noticed immediately, "we should probably spend these twenty four hours somewhere indoors, somewhere with heat," he suggested with a small smile.

"That sounds like a good idea." I glanced up at him.

PJ hesitantly reached out, and upon finding that I wasn't going to push him away, placed his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side and leading me toward his rental. I relished his warmth as it spread throughout my side and greedily seeking more warmth, I tucked my fingers under his jacket.

He unlocked his rental and pulled the passenger door open for me, holding it aside as I slid in. I cast him a small smile as he closed the door and walked around to the driver's side and got in, starting up the engine to turn the heat on before turning to look at me.

"You hungry?"

"Starved," I replied, realizing I really was famished after the day I'd had.

He smiled before reversing the car out of it's stall and heading out onto the street.

We settled on a Denny's, sitting across from each other in a small booth in the corner of the restaurant.

After ordering our drinks we jumped into the conversation before we could give ourselves any time to chicken out of our twenty four hour deal.

"So, where we do start?" PJ asked, running his fingers through his hair, trailing them down the back of his neck, where they stopped. I followed his movements with my eyes before catching myself and looking for a reply to his question.

"Where we ended?" I suggested with a slight shrug.

PJ stared at me for a long moment and I couldn't tell what he was thinking.

His eyes darted away, "the worst night of my life."

I frowned at him, "it was a pretty crappy day."

We were silent for a long moment and then PJ started talking, "I thought, I'm a daredevil and a risk taker and I assumed you were one too because I thought we were so similar and in tune with one another. I realize now, we're not the same in that aspect, and I shouldn't have pushed you to face your parents like that." He said, looking relieved after he finished speaking, like a great weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He slumped back against the booth seat and looked up at me.

"I was angry at the time," I murmured with a nod, "but now..." I smiled slightly, "you were right. I could face them, I-I went and I spoke to my father."

"You did?" He sat up, eyes widening as he watched me. "How did that go?"

"I...it was really good for me. I think a lot of my pessimism about relationships came from him and my parent's relationship. A-and I think you were right when you said I was setting us up for failure."

He reached out, his fingertips brushing over mine, "no, I was just angry when I said that."

"But it was true. I turned on you the minute things started going downhill, I blamed you instead of blaming myself for not telling you no. I did what I always swore I wouldn't do, I was my mother, I stayed quiet and let you talk me into something I didn't want to do." I shrugged, "I'm usually pretty good at standing up for myself but when it came to you I never thought I'd have to, I just trusted you."

"And I broke that trust." PJ cut in.

"And now we're here, trying to fix that."

"Can you see yourself trusting me again?" He asked.

I inhaled slowly, "honestly PJ, I don't think I ever stopped. I was just angry and hurt and frustrated with myself." I chewed my lip for a moment, "but now I know, you're not perfect, and if my gut's telling me something is wrong then I need to trust that over you."

The waitress came back with our drinks and took our orders before disappearing again, leaving PJ and I alone once more.

"So, we'll ask questions, taking turns," PJ said and I nodded in agreement.

"Ladies first," he motioned toward me.

"Okay," I paused, trying to think of something to ask him. I'd had so many questions before, but now that I was given the chance to ask them, my mind was suddenly blank. "Why today?"

"Why today what?" He asked for clarification.

"Why did you just decide that today would be the day to come up to me like that?"

"And kiss you?"

"Yeah."

"I just want you to be happy. It all started with thinking you'd be happier with me and then we broke up and I thought maybe you'd be happier without me and then Jay said you weren't and..." PJ ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head.

"Jay said what?" I asked incredulously.

He grinned slightly, and continued, ignoring my outburst, "and this morning I woke up and realized I wasn't happy without you and I couldn't continue on like that, and I knew Stu has a thing for you and I knew if I didn't move fast I'd lose you to him and I'd feel this terrible for forever."

"I kissed Stu," I blurted out, my eyes widening as the words left my lips.

PJ stared at me, the shock on his face heartbreaking.

"Er, well, he kissed me." I corrected, averting my eyes from PJ's, unable to hold his gaze.

He cleared his throat but didn't say anything as an awkward silence began to fall between us.

"It didn't-" I started when I suddenly stopped at the sound of PJ's voice.

"I kissed Victoria."

My mouth fell open slightly, "and what was that like?"

He chuckled dryly, "it was stupid and impulsive."

"You like doing those kinds of things," I said.

"What was it like with Stu?" He countered.

My irrational anger deflated as I pressed my lips together, "it was wrong."

PJ's expression softened. "Same here."

I chanced a glance up at him through my lashes as I played with my napkin. "I-I was attracted to him and I thought maybe he could make me forget about you but, it just felt wrong to be with him. I felt guilty that I was attracted to him." I explained, not looking up at him.

"I kissed Victoria because I thought you and Stu were together. She pushed me into a locker and called me a dumb ass."

I laughed hollowly at the story, shaking my head slightly.

"Then I asked Jay about it, he told me you guys weren't together."

"Did you talk to Jay a lot?" I paused, "about me?"

"Well I couldn't talk to you. The next best thing was Jay."

"So, that's a yes?"

"I had to know you're okay," he said softly as our waitress came with our food.

We took a break from the heavy topics as we ate our meal. I told him the full story of my trip home where I faced my fears and he smiled at me, telling me how proud he was, just like Jay had.

Sitting and talking with PJ felt amazing after going so long without talking to him. I felt myself immediately sliding back into the comfortable familiarity I had with PJ, enjoying the connection we had that I had been depriving myself of for weeks.

We finished our dinner and then left for the hotel.

"So, are we going to sleep in this twenty four hour period?" PJ asked as he navigated the car smoothly along the darkened streets.

I shrugged, "if we get tired."

"Well, it'd be a little awkward if we had this heart to heart in my room, seeing as I'm rooming with Heath."

I chuckled a bit, "I'm not rooming with anyone, so we can head to my room," I said and PJ nodded.

We talked easily as he parked the car and we got our bags from the backseat and then headed into the hotel. He held the door open for me, smiling and I didn't even pause in the middle of the sentence I was saying.

In the elevator, I turned and leaned my shoulder on the wall, looking at PJ.

"I've missed this," I mused softly.

PJ turned his head to look at me, "me too." He reached out, tucking some of my hair behind my ear. His fingertips trailed down, skittering along my jaw and then sliding down my neck where they stopped.

Suddenly the elevator pinged and we were on the floor of my room.

I cleared my throat and PJ motioned for me to step out of the elevator in front of him. He walked a slight step behind me as I led the way down the hall and then stood next to me, but not too close, as I unlocked the door.

PJ closed the door behind him, watching as I walked over to the queen-sized bed and flopped down on it. I rolled over to face him and smiled, motioning for him to join me. He grinned back, toeing off his shoes before joining me.

He propped his head up using his elbow and I turned on my side so I was facing him.

"Your turn to ask a question." I murmured.

"I know about you and Cena."

"That's not a questions." I pointed out, closing my eyes.

"Fine then, what's your side of the story?"

I chuckled slightly, rolling onto my back and staring up at the ceiling. "I fell in love with the idea of someone because I was unhappy in the relationship I had." I huffed out a breath, "I liked how John looked at me and treated me, like I was important, like having me was a huge prize, like I was the best thing to happen to him. It started out as a storyline but John quickly made it known that's not all he wanted it to be. But I was with Phil, and I'm not the type of girl to be unfaithful, I would never act on that attraction if I'm in a committed relationship with someone else.

"Then I found out about Phil cheating and I pretty much ended things with him that night. I decided that I was going to tell John yes." I rolled my eyes, "and well, you know how that went down."

"Why didn't he ever show up at the hospital?" PJ asked.

"That's a good question," I said, pointing at him, "one I've been asking myself for the past two years."

"But you're over him?"

"Very much so, like I said, I was in love with the idea of him and I." I glanced over at him to see his eyes watching me intently. I reached out and wrapped my fingers around his, "you and I are a very different story."

He lifted his brows, "how so?"

It was the perfect opportunity to say it, to tell him I love him but I hesitated and that hesitation spoke volumes. It wasn't the right moment for me.

"You're not John Cena, for one."

He chuckled, shaking his hand, linking his fingers through mine. "Anything else?"

"Well, yeah, you have an accent."

"Ahh, I see."

"And I just feel very different about you than I did Cena."

PJ nodded as his eyes locked with mine, we were silent for a moment, "your turn."

"Right, god, I don't even know what to ask," I said with a little chuckle. I stared at the ceiling for a moment before turning my eyes to him once more, "were you as depressed as I was when we were broken up?"

"Probably. I know I was hard to be around, the guys didn't really want to deal with me, they told me so."

I laughed slightly, "I worried Jay a lot." I blinked, "I lied to you about that."

PJ's brows furrowed, "about what?"

"About my past relationship with Jay. It wasn't a short fling, it was a long term relationship between two very committed people."

"Why did you lie then? It's not like I would've been angry that you dated guys before me."

I shrugged, "I don't know, I guess maybe I thought you'd worry because Jay and I are still friends. It was stupid, I know."

"How serious were you two?"

"We were in love at one point in time."

He was silent for a moment, digesting the information, "I guess that makes sense," he said.

I raised my eyebrows in question.

"Anyone can tell Jay sees you as more than just a friend, but not in a way that says he's in love with you. I don't know how to explain it," he shrugged, rolling onto his back and staring up the ceiling, our hands still connected between us.

"Why did it end between you guys?" He asked.

"We fell out of love."

"How so?"

"I did a lot of growing up during my relationship with Jay. I was young, I'd never been in love before, never had a real boyfriend before. While we were together I realized all the things that I would want out of a relationship and slowly realized that while Jay and I loved each other it wasn't the type of love you build a life off of, you don't bring children into that, or get married because of it and our feelings just kind of simmered out to how he and I are now."

We talked for hours into the night which bled into the next morning as we sat on the balcony together watching the sunrise, wrapped in the bed comforter.

"I have a tattoo," I confessed.

PJ raised his eyebrows, "oh really?"

"Mmhmm," I replied, pulling away, tugging the blanket from around me. I turned so my right side was facing him and lifted up my shirt, holding it out of the way as I pulled at the side of my bra, revealing the neat cursive script that read _"come as you are_._" _

"Nirvana, that figures," PJ grinned at me.

I rolled my eyes, letting my shirt fall back into place before punching his shoulder playfully. He just chuckled.

"That's your only one?" He asked as I settled back into his side, pulling the blanket around me again.

"Nope, I have another one here," I said, lifting up my leg and pointing to my ankle where the words _"seasons change but people don't" _circled my skin. PJ's fingertips traced the fine letters thoughtfully.

"How have I never noticed this before?" He asked himself before smirking slightly.

He turned his eyes back to mine, "do you believe that?" He asked, nodding back to my tattoo.

"I do."

"You don't think people can change."

"Not like everyone advertises, no. I think we each have a personality and we can change small aspects of it, but deep down we'll always be the same person we've always been. I don't believe in people doing a complete 180 on their personality."

I could tell he didn't completely agree with me as he nodded, resting his chin atop my head, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

"So, breakfast?" I asked after a moment of silence and staring out at the rising sun.

"Room service?"

I grinned, pressing my cheek against his shoulder, "you read my mind."

_**/**_

The sun was setting as we finally rejoined our co-workers after twenty four hours with just the two of us.

"Thirty more minutes and our twenty four hours will be up," I said, glancing down as PJ slid his fingers between mine. I smiled as I looked back up at his face to see him smiling as well.

"I enjoyed spending all of that time talking to you. I feel like we got a lot accomplished."

"And cleared up," I added and he nodded.

We deposited our bags to be loaded up onto the heel bus before heading for the bus doors and stepping inside. We found an empty row of seats and sat down together.

The hours without sleep and the darkness outside were slowly lulling me into unconsciousness as I pulled my jacket over me and leaned into PJ's side.

"Paige?"

"Hmmm?" I replied sleepily.

"Does this mean we're back together?"


	32. Safest Place To Keep Our Old Mistakes

_**Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Joyous-whatever-you-celebrate! **_

_**I wanted to get this up for you guys tonight because it's Christmas and I'd like to give you guys SOMETHING. **_

_**I'd just love some more reviews in return. Please?**_

_**Thanks to my awesome reviewers: **iBrizzy- Daughter of Hermes**, **DeathDaisy**, **KiwiStar**, and** Kirstein Renee Orton_

_**Nothing too exciting in this chapter, but it's got some Jay/Paige goodness and the answer to PJ's question from the last chapter, sooooo...yeah. **_

_**Four chapters left!**_

_**Onward and upward,**_

_**xoxoxo**_

_**Angel**_

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't **_

_**Chapter 32- I Have Found The Safest Place To Keep All Our Old Mistakes**_

_"Does this mean we're back together?"_

Suddenly, I was wide awake, but I didn't move. I stayed in my spot, head on PJ's shoulder and just breathed for a moment, replaying his question over and over in my head.

I wondered if that was the logical next step for PJ and I now that we reconciled. Did everyone just expect us to get back together and return to being a happy couple. I felt like that was too good to be true, too easy to fix.

I suddenly knew I had my answer.

PJ fidgeted restlessly as my silence extended and I knew he was beginning to worry.

"PJ," I said his name softly and I felt his body tense as he paid acute attention to my words.

"Can we just be friends, for right now?" I asked quietly, not lifting my head to look at him, not believing that I was strong enough to look into his eyes and still hold my resolve.

He didn't reply, just let out a long breath, and I began to worry.

"PJ?" I asked, my voice small, tentative.

"Is that what you really want?" He asked.

"It's what I need right now. Until I can find a way to compromise between trusting myself and trusting you."

He ran a hand through his hair, mussing it slightly and I couldn't help myself as I reached up and smoothed his hair back into place.

His frustration seemed to evaporate with my simple action as he looked at me and his expression softened, "okay."

"Okay," I nodded, locking my eyes with his. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pressing his lips to my temple.

I settled back against his side, resting my head on his shoulder once more, feeling my exhaustion return.

"Thank you PJ," I whispered before slipping into a light, dreamless sleep.

/

"William Jason," I said as I met Jay outside a small cafe. He rolled his eyes as I called him by his full name, chuckling lightly under his breath.

"Paige Melody," He returned in kind before pulling me into a hug. "What's got you in such a good mood? You and the boyfriend fix things?"

"Not exactly," I replied as Jay held the door open for me and we stepped inside. A waitress told us to sit wherever we like and we picked a small two-person table in the corner of the establishment.

"Not exactly?" He asked, as we sat down and took the menus from where they were propped up between the napkin holder and the wall.

I began flipping through the laminated pages as I formulated my answer.

Jay wasn't content with my pensive silence, "aren't you and PJ back together?"

I shook my head, "no."

"What went wrong?" He asked incredulously, "you were definitely both ready to pick up where you left off. The depression and the separation and the unbearable bad moods are supposed to be over."

"Nothing went wrong. I just decided I wanted to talk things slowly."  
"And PJ's okay with this?" Jay asked.

I nodded, "yes, he said he was okay with it."

"So you're taking things so slow you're going in reverse?"

I shot him a glare as the waitress came.

"Coffee please," I told her pleasantly with a smile.

"Me too," Jay added.

"Are you two ready to order?"

"Yeah, the bacon and eggs, scrambled, wheat toast." I said.

"Ham and cheese omelet," Jay ordered, "wheat toast."

The waitress smiled with a nod, saying she's go put our orders in before walking away.

"So, what are you guys then?" Jay asked, motioning with his hands as he lifted his eyebrows.

"Just friends," I replied.

"Just friends. You asked to be just friends with the guy you're in love with."

"Jay," I gasped, eyes widening.

"Oh, come on Paige. As if it wasn't obvious enough you're in love with him. I know, you seem to be having a hard time wrapping your head around it but I really don't think you should be waiting. I think you guys should move ahead with your relationship. We've all seen what happens when you guys are apart. Yeah, sure, you guys had a hiccup but I think you're both past that now."

"Your opinion on the matter sure has changed," I muttered as I leaned back so our waitress could pour the coffee into my mug. As she poured Jay a cup I fixed my coffee, adding sugar and one tiny carton of french vanilla creamer. Absently, I picked out a package of grape jelly for my toast before looking up at Jay, who was watching me.

"You're in love with him. I know."

"How?"

"You look at him the way you used to look at me, just a lot more intense."

I set the jelly down, looking up at Jay, staring at him for a moment. "I told PJ about us."

Jay raised his brows at me, "you did?"

"We had a twenty-four hour truth marathon and it came up." I shrugged.

"How'd he react?"

"Like he expected it. He said it made sense."

Jay and I both laughed. As our laughing slowed I tilted my head slightly, "do I really look at him like I used to look at you?"

"You do," he nodded, taking a sip of coffee, "and he looks at you like I used to look at you."

"How's that?" I asked, teasing in my tone as I lifted my coffee cup to my lips, pausing before taking a sip in order to listen to his answer.

"Like a blind man that can suddenly see." He said simply.

"I don't think I've ever thanked you for that," I said, setting my mug down without taking a sip.

"For what?" Jay asked, looking confused, like he couldn't imagine there being anything for me to thank him for.

"For being the first man I ever fell in love with. You gave me hope. Made me a little bit of a romantic."

"Good, because you are god awful at being romantic."

I chuckled, "I know," I shook my head, "but seriously, you gave me a positive outlook on love and relationships."

"I'm glad I made a lasting impression. Now, I think you should take some of what you learned from me about being romantic and apply it to your situation with PJ."

"And we're back to this," I said, rolling my eyes.

"When did we ever leave the subject?" Jay smirked.

Our waitress arrived with our food.

"I'm not kidding Paige," he said after the young woman had left us after asking if there was anything else we needed. "Don't take things too slow. Don't lose what you do have."

I nodded, forking a piece of scrambled egg. I bit the inside of my cheek, "what do I look like when I look at PJ?"

"Like the girl I knew ten years ago."

I tilted my head, eyes narrowing in question.

"Happy, for the first time in your life." He clarified.

/

"So, I assume you have good news," Stu stated as I approached the Brit outside of the arena.

"I do?" I asked, raising my eyebrows as I rolled my suitcase behind me. Stu fell into step beside me, holding the door open for me and then following me indoors.

"Shouldn't you?" He asked.

"I don't know," I replied with a shrug.

"I haven't talked to PJ, so I don't know for sure, but I assumed the two of you..." He shrugged as he trailed off.

"Got back together?" I supplied.

"Yes," he said with a dip of his head.

"Nope," I said.

"What?" He stopped dead in his tracks.

I turned back to face him, "no, PJ and I are not back together."

"And why not?" He asked.

I shrugged.

"Paige, I didn't give you up so you could be in denial." He stated.

"I'm not in denial. I asked PJ if we could just be friends for a while, I want to take things slow."

"Take things slow?" He made it sound like I was being ridiculous.

"Why does everyone think that its such a bad idea?" I asked.

"Because we all saw how you and PJ were when you were broken up. It was hell for all of us, not just you two."

"You made out a little better than everyone else," I said.

He rolled his eyes, "glad we've moved on to joking about what happened between us."

I rolled my eyes back at him, pulling a face before turnign to continue to walk to the locker room.

"Does, uh, does PJ know about...what I did?"

"You didn't do it alone, it's what we did," I corrected before shrugging, "yeah, I told him." I opened the door to the locker room and walked inside. Stu hesitated before following me inside.

"And?" He asked.

"And PJ kissed Victoria. So I consider us even."

"So that's why you're just friends."

"No, that's not why," I said as knelt down to unzip my bag. I pulled out my work out clothes and stepped into the bathroom to change, "I just still need some time to figure things out."

"What kinds of things?"

"Emotional, personal, mental things," I answered, pulling my shirt off over my head, unsnapping my bra before tugging on my neon orange sports bra.

"Because that's not the vaguest answer I've ever heard in my life."

"Shut it."

"Is training going to be awkward today then?" Stu asked after a moment of silence.

I walked out of the bathroom, stretching out my arms, throwing my street clothes on my bag, "why would it be awkward?"

"I invited PJ to train with us."

"Again, I ask, why would it be awkward?"

"I don't know..." he trailed off, shrugging his broad shoulders.

"It'll be fine," I replied, patting his arm, "I'm gonna go get some water. You want?"

"Yeah sure. I'll meet you in the ring."

"Sure." I called before leaving the room.

-x-o-x-o-x-

"Hey, what's up man," PJ greeted Stu as he walked into the locker room, setting his things down, pulling off his sunglasses and shaking hands with Stu.

"Nothing much. How's your morning been?"

"Good, got some breakfast with Victoria and then headed over here."

"Victoria, ya?"

Something in Stu's tone made PJ turn to face him, "yeah, I had to clear some things up with her."

"Like how you and Paige are just friends?"

"No, about how I knew I was being an idiot when I made a move on Vic and that I needed her to know I was sorry and that I'm in love with Paige."

Stu's back was to PJ but he nodded, grinning to himself.

"Good," he turned to the South African man, "I know you're aware of the move I pulled with Paige."

"Look man, I'm not-" PJ went to reassure him but Stu cut him off.

"I'm attracted to her, but what man wouldn't be. She's a bloody fantastic woman."

PJ nodded in agreement.

"But she only has eyes for you PJ, and I've known that, but I had to try."

"I don't hate you for trying."

"I know, but I think it's fucking stupid that she wants to be just friends."

"Join the club," PJ shook his head.

The two men fell into an amicable silence, both changing for their training session.

"Just so you know, PJ. Working with Paige in the ring is your job again. I'm not half as good at it as you are." The Brit said.

PJ turned to look at the man and nodded gratefully before smiling to himself.

* * *

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	33. All Our Moves Make Up For The Silence

_**Hello everyone and happy new year! I hope 2013 is an amazing year for all of you :) It is also the year that I will complete this fic :) **_

_**So, this chapter has a lot of Nexus related on screen stuff...but there's some other...really good stuff as well, steamy stuff...mhmmm...so it's kinda mature, not that I ever go into extreme detail for those types of things, and then there's some curse words...just a warning**_

_**Thank you SO much to my reviewers: **iBrizzy- Daughter of Hermes**, **Kirstein Renee Orton**, **DeathDaisy**, **AliceJericho**, **xErikax **and **nic-002001. **Reviews seriously make my day and they inspire me to work on the next chapter faster :) **_

_**Well, three more chapters after this guys...wonder what's gonna happen. What do YOU think is going to happen? **_

_**Disclaimer(since I haven't done one in a while): I only own Paige Ross. Any other persons, brands, etc belong to their respective owners. I am making no profit off this whatsoever, it's just for fun. **_

_**Onward and upward,**_

_**xoxoxo**_

_**Angel **_

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't**_

_**Chapter 33- All Our Moves Make Up For The Silence**_

It was surprising how easily PJ and I fell back into our routine of training together in the ring. Three times a week, before a show, wherever we could find a ring set up, we would practice and there would be no awkward silence, or uncomfortable tensions. Fleeting glances, or grazes of fingers were acceptable and not brought up verbally. They were noticed with a quick moment of brief eye contact before we moved on.

But those moments built up. Fleeting glances become long gazes. Grazes of fingers became definite tender touches. The moment of eye contact afterward had a slight drag to it, like we didn't want to pull our eyes away.

The trust was there, like it always had been, and on that trust we built.

Today, we were really testing that trust.

"I know you can do this Paige." PJ said, laying his arms at his sides as he lay on the crash mat we'd set up in front of the turnbuckle.

I sucked in a breath as I stood on the outside of the second turnbuckle, my hands resting atop the turnbuckle as I looked down at PJ, trying to work up the courage to take that final step.

Lately, we'd been making a lot of progress. Over the past few weeks since I'd joined the Nexus on screen I was always escorted ringside by PJ and one of the other guys during my matches. Having PJ ringside made me feel safer, it gave me the confidence to do more daring moves in my matches that used to be a part of my signature move set.

Now, we were going to try a moonsault, which once upon a time, had been my finisher. I'd wrestled a match once against Lita where we each hit a moonsault on each other, three times.

I had jumped off the top rope before during practices, but never performed an actual moonsault. The closest I'd gotten was a crossbody, and PJ caught me.

I took a breath and lifted my head, giving PJ a decided nod before I lifted my foot onto the opposite side off the turnbuckle so I'd be facing away from the ring.

"Just breathe," PJ coaxed and I nodded, slowly inhaling through my nose and exhaling through my mouth, closing my eyes.

I jumped, and muscle memory won out. I could feel how flawless the moonsault was as I sailed through the air.

I landed on PJ, my aim slightly off, I over-shot it by a couple inches but I still landed on the crash mat. The familiar ache in my midsection was nothing new, it was something you got used to as a high-flyer, but the warmth that spread around my torso was new as PJ enveloped me in a hug.

I lifted myself up on my hand and straightened up so I was kneeling next to PJ. He sat up as well, his fingers ghosting along my cheek to his cupped my jaw.

"That was beautiful." He murmured, eyes searching mine.

I swallowed as he smiled at me, a smile filled with pride and I couldn't help but return it, feeling as proud of myself as he did. I felt ridiculously happy and so much like my old self that it stopped me for a moment and it must have showed on my face because PJ's other hand came up to frame the other side of my jaw.

His eyes were intent on mine and before I knew it our eyes were closed as his lips formed a seal with mine in a kiss that I hadn't expected, yet knew was coming all along.

Kissing PJ leads to a loss of awareness of the outside world but it made my skin tingle and my lips curl up into a smile.

"PJ," I whispered, not sure if I was just saying his name to say it or if I was trying to stop what was happening.

His lips kissed the corner of my mouth and I found we were both breathing heavily as he opened his eyes to look up into mine.

He pressed our foreheads together, "I know, you said you just wanted to be friends, but Paige..."

He was going to continue, going to say something that was probably important for me to hear but I cut him off, pressing my lips to his, the tip of my tongue tracing his bottom lip.

No more questions or comments were uttered as he instead focused on my mouth on his and his fingers in my hair and my hands snaking under his muscle tank so I could trace the muscles of his abdomen.

The next thing I knew I was on my back in the middle of the ring after we rolled off the crash mat and PJ was hovering over me, his lips lavishing my neck with open-mouthed kisses that sent a heat raging just beneath my skin.

I couldn't help the moan that escaped my lips as he found a particular spot he liked and let his teeth sink in. I closed my eyes, arcing my back, knowing that his bruising kiss there would leave a mark I would have to explain to people like Jay, a mark I would have to get the girls at make up to cover up for the show, but at the moment I didn't really care as I rolled us over, taking control as I slid his muscle tank off over his head and grasped the back of his neck, pulling him up into a heated kiss.

Now it was my turn to leave a mark on him, which I did, just below the juncture of is jaw and neck and as I did, his fingers tightened on my hip, pulling me flush against him, letting me feel what I had created.

As my kisses trailed lower, PJ's breath rasped in his lungs as he tried to speak, "Paige."

"Hmm?" I asked as I kissed along his collar bone.

"If," he sucked in a breath as my nails slid down his chest, catching on his nipple, "if we don't stop now," he bit down on his lip as my tongue traveled past his chest. "Fuck."

I knew what he was trying to say, I knew he was trying to be a gentleman about it, but I also knew he didn't really want to stop.

I slid back up his body until my face hover over his and our eyes connected as his hands came to rest on my sides.

Softly, ever so gently, I pressed my lips to his, "we don't need to stop," I whispered.

PJ's fingers slid into my hair, pulling me back into a deep, long, unhurried kiss before rolling us back over and covering my body with his as skin met more revealed skin and we got lost in the world for a while, together.

"Well damn," I muttered as we lay together in the aftermath, my head on his chest, my arm around his torso and one leg hitched around his. His fingertips stroked along my spine as he turned to kiss the top of my head. He chuckled softly and I smiled into his chest, kissing his tanned skin lightly.

We were silent for a long time as our breathing slowed and our hearts returned to their normal pace but I could tell PJ wanted to say something.

"Paige," he began but suddenly stopped short at the sound of other voices.

"Are they still down here?" A voice asked coming from the stage, sounding far away, still behind the curtain I was guessing.

"Shit," PJ muttered.

"We need to hide," I whispered as we both scrambled into a sitting position, each of us reaching for our clothes.

Two people stepped out onto the stage as PJ hooked an arm around my waist and rolled us out of the ring onto the floor on the opposite side of the entrance ramp.

We rolled back into the ring skirt and stayed absolutely silent.

"Doesn't look like they're here," one voice muttered and I recognized it immediately as Jay.

"Maybe they finished up for the day and are back in the locker room," a second, accented voice suggested and I knew it was Stu.

"Yeah, maybe, lets go check," Jay replied and then PJ and I listened as their footsteps retreated back up the ramp and behind the curtain.

Only when there had been silence for several moments did I let out a relieved sigh.

And then, we both began to laugh, uncontrollably and I couldn't really comprehend why the moment was so hilarious but it was, and it felt amazing to just laugh while resting in PJ's arms.

"We should probably get going then," PJ murmured as our laughter died away.

I nodded in agreement as I sat up and glanced around in search of my sports bra and yoga pants.

"Here," PJ said, holding my sports bra out to me, I smiled in thanks before pulling it on over my head. I found my yoga pants in a pile near the steel steps along with my underwear. I pulled on both as PJ found his clothes and dressed as well.

I turned back to PJ as I put my hair into a ponytail and his eyes slid over me for a moment in the same way my eyes took him in. It felt a little different now, looking at him, knowing I've seen all of him. We had officially let each other in in every way possible—mentally, emotionally and now physically.

I couldn't ignore it, there was something there, a connection that had been drawing us together for months, a bond that couldn't be broken by betrayed trusts or hurtful misunderstandings. I couldn't understand why I thought reverting us back to being just friends would fix anything.

PJ took several steps toward, bringing himself right in front of me as his hand slid around my neck, pulling me into the most tender kiss I've ever experienced.

He broke the kiss, pulling back to look me in the eyes, "I want you to know that I don't just want to be your friend and I think you're realizing you want the same things I do but I can be patient, and I can wait until you're ready as long as you're figuring it out. Don't start avoiding me and don't ignore what just happened, because it was something and it was amazing and I want it to happen again because I want to make love to you when we're truly together."

My heart thudded in my chest as I nodded wordlessly because I had nothing to say in response to that.

"Promise you won't start avoiding me?" He asked, lifting his eyebrows.

"Promise," I whispered with a nod.

/

I chewed my lip as I walked down the hallway back to the Nexus locker room.

I had been right, I had to go to hair and make up to get some pretty extensive cover up put on my hickey and I briefly wondered if PJ would do the same for the mark I had left on him. I smiled to myself as I walked, dressed in my ring gear, my hair and make up done and ready for the show to begin.

"Well, doesn't someone look sexed up," Jay remarked as he fell into step beside.

"What?" I asked in shock as I spun to face my best friend, feeling my face heat up. How could he possibly know? Had he seen us earlier before we hid?

Jay held up his hand innocently, "just saying, the hair and outfit looks good. Sexy, scary Nexus chick is a good look on you," he said with a shrug.

"Oh," my shoulders sagged in relief.

"But I'm guessing from that reaction that you and PJ had sex."

"What? N-no we didn't," I said, my eyebrows furrowing as I tried to lie.

"You're a terrible liar," Jay remarked, "we'll talk about this later, I believe you have a match to get ready for," he said as I stopped at the Nexus locker room door and he kept on walking.

"We won't be talking about this later," I called to him as I opened the locker room door and stepped inside.

"Talking about what?" Fred asked.

"Oh nothing," I muttered, my eyes catching PJ's as he stood, smirking to himself as he slid his Nexus armband up to his bicep. I tore my eyes away and walked over to my locker.

"So," I said, turning to face Fred again, "you ready to get beaten up by Cena?" I asked.

"Just taking one for the team, sacrificing myself for the greater good," he said jokingly.

I rolled my eyes.

"I'm gonna go grab waters, you guys want?" PJ asked as he headed toward the locker room door. Several of the guys yelled affirmatives to him and I nodded as he looked at me before heading out of the room.

Once the door closed, all eyes turned on me.

"So...are you guys cool now, because he's back to being a good mood?" David asked, pointing to where PJ had previously been standing.

"Yeah, and he's been in an especially good mood today," Heath commented.

I shrugged, "we're not technically back together," I said.

"You're not? Still?" Stu asked.

I turned and arched an eyebrow at him.

"What do you mean by 'still'?" I asked, eyebrows furrowing.

He shook his head and didn't give an answer.

"But you guys are getting back together, right?" Ryan asked.

I shrugged, "if things keep heading in the right direction."

"All right, Paige, sit down," Heath said as he straddled the locker room bench. I raised an eyebrow at him and he just patted the space of bench in front of him. With a roll of my eyes, I sat down.

"Honey, that boy is so in love with you its kind of ridiculous." Heath said.

Fred came up next to him, "and don't get us wrong, we love you—you're one of us, y'know, but seriously, stringing PJ along, not something we want to see."

"I'm not stringing things along," I argued.

"No, she's taking things slow," Stu mocked the explanation I had given him. I sent him an accusatory glare and he just shrugged.

"Taking things slow? Fuck, Rossy, you went in _reverse_," Fred practically yelled.

I crossed my arms over my chest, "peer pressure doesn't effect me. I'm going to do what I feel is comfortable, what I feel I'm ready to do."

"So, you don't feel comfortable being around PJ? You two seem mighty comfortable whenever we're filming," Heath said, motioning toward me.

Stu and Fred huffed agreements to Heath's statement.

Then, suddenly, reserved, stoic, stony Tyrone spoke up.

"I really think you two should just stop beating around the bush and fuck. The sexual tension between y'all over the past couple weeks since you patched things up has been fucking ridiculous."

We all stared at him with wide eyes and suddenly, "one step ahead of you," slipped out of my mouth.

Then, all eyes were on me and I felt my face heat up as I cursed myself under my breath for being stupid enough to let that slip.

"What do you mean by that?" Stu asked.

God, that's embarrassing. "Umm, PJ and I have already had sex..." I said quietly.

"What! When? PJ would've told me," Heath said, sounding incredulous and mildly hurt.

"I don't think he's had the time to tell you," I shrugged.

"And why would that be?" He arched a brow at me.

"Because it happened today."

"It, as in, you two had sex, earlier today?" Fred asked.

"Oh my god, why am I having this conversation with you guys?" I asked rhetorically.

"So you're back together?" Ryan asked.

"No, yes..." I threw my hands up, "I don't know. He said he'd give me time to figure things out."

"He's too nice." Heath said, sounding exasperated.

"I would've given you an ultimatum," Fred muttered, running a hand over his face.

The other guys were a mixture of mutters and head shakes.

"Hey, I'm back," the door to the locker room slid open accompanied by PJ's voice. I felt my face turn beet red and I closed my eyes before letting it out as a sigh.

The guys all turned to stare at PJ and I just shook my head, staring at the ceiling.

"What's...going on?" PJ asked slowly.

"Oh, oh nothing," Fred said with a nonchalant shrug as he walked away, back over to his bad.

"Absolutely nothing," Ryan added, with a chuckled under his breath. Stu shook his head and Tyrone went back to be the quiet one.

"Paige was just telling us about here day," Heath said with a shit-eating grin.

/

"You told the guys?" PJ asked as we stood backstage, waiting to go out to the ring.

"I didn't mean to," I said, "they're not usually the group I go to to talk about that kind of stuff. That's what I have girlfriends for."

"Then, how did it come up?" He asked, running a hand through his hair.

"They were giving me the 'don't fuck with brother's heart' speech, and it just slipped. They were saying that I'm stringing you along," I said, trying to give something in my defense.

"They were?" PJ blinked and I had to think about what I'd just said because I wasn't sure as to what he was referring to.

"Umm, yes?" I replied, sounding a little confused.

"They said they think you're stringing me alone?" He clarified.

"Um, yeah, Fred's words," I said with a nod.

"They don't know what they're talking about," PJ muttered, shaking his head, "you should've just ignored them, they were just being guys."

"No, they were being good friends, and that's what they are. Y'know, I get why they were talking about, they just want what's best for you," I said.

"Which is being with you, in whatever way you think you're ready for," he said, turning to face me, taking me by my upper arms.

I stared at him for a minute before opening my mouth to reply.

"Paige, PJ, we're up," Stu called.

PJ's hands left my arms and he held eye contact for a moment longer before we both turned to join the group as we headed out to the ring.

_[On Screen, Monday Night RAW from July 5, 2010]_

_ The Nexus stood in a solid line across the length of the ring, joined by their eighth member—Athena. She stood, chin tilted upward, at Wade Barrett's right, David Otunga on his left and Heath Slater on the other side of Athena. The other members of the faction continued down the sides, PJ and Darren Young book-ending their line._

_ Wade, as their leader, started off speaking, bringing up their attack on Vince McMahon a couple weeks back and then he passed the mic to Skip Sheffield who spoke of their attack on Ricky Steamboat and the other legends the past week._

_ Athena stood, arms at her side, one his cocked with a smirk on her red lips as she nodded proudly of what her faction had done. _

_ In the past weeks since she'd joined the Nexus, she had been on a roll. She wan an except to the RAW GM's ban against the Nexus due to the fact that she was a contracted Diva. She had won all but one of her matches since her return, and the next week, she would be in a number one contenders match against Eve to see who would face off against the Diva's Champion Alicia Fox at the Money In The Bank Pay Per View. _

_ Suddenly, there was melodic beeping echoing through the arena, signaling the anonymous general manage of RAW had sent a message. The fans in attendance booed as Michael Cole rose and made his way over to the podium where the laptop the GM used as a means of communication was set up. _

_ Cole opened the laptop and did his usual spiel before reading the message. _

_ "The GM has decided on his punishment for the Nexus for their assault on WWE Chairman Vince McMahon. Per our general manage, and I quote, none of the Nexus can compete for a WWE title until further notice." Michael Cole paused as the fans cheered and the Nexus members reacted._

_ Athena's eyes widened, "what?" She yelled, stepping out of their uniform line, glaring at Michael Cole. Wade reacted in much the same manner, narrowing his eyes at the commentator._

_ "And furthermore," Cole continued, "as of this moment, the ruling of Nexus members not being able to touch RAW Superstars, and vice versa, has been lifted."_

_ As the fans cheered once more, the Nexus glanced around, expecting an attack. Wade stepped in front of Athena protectively as he glanced around. _

_ John Cena's music blasted throughout the arena and the crowd was deafening as the Nexus reformed their line to face the entrance ramp._

_ After a few moments of speaking, Randy Orton, R-Truth, John Morrison, Evan Bourne and the Hart Dynasty filed out onto the ramp and followed Cena down to the ring. _

_ But then, suddenly, several heel Superstars raced down the ramp, attacking John Cena and his band of Superstars from behind. _

_ Justin Gabriel grabbed Athena by the hand as the Nexus slid out of the ring and blended into the crowd, making their escape from the hectic scene. _

_*** Later that night, Diva's Championship match between Alicia Fox © and Eve***_

_ As Eve and Alicia Fox tangled up during their match, Eve throwing Alicia into the ring and Alicia holding her ankle, feigning injury, a third Diva came sauntering down the ramp. _

_ Athena smirked as she came down the ramp in her golden jacket and eyed the two Divas in the ring. _

_ As the ref went to check on Alicia, Eve walked over the ropes, still sore about her two losses to the former champ. _

_ "What are you doing here?" Eve asked angrily and Athena just smirked as Alicia suddenly popped to her feet and Eve spun around, taking a kick to the head followed by Alicia Fox's scissor kick. Alicia pinned the Diva, gained the three count and retained her title. _

_ Aware of Athena ringside, the Diva's Champion turned to find Athena staring her down from ringside._

_ Slowly, Athena smiled deviously before she turned and strutted back up the ramp, her jacket billowing behind her. _

_Wade Barrett and John Cena were in the ring next, to shake hands and call it a truce. Cena refused to shake Wade's hand and instead attempted to execute an FU on Wade Barrett._

_ The rest of the Nexus, Athena included, hit the ring at that moment to back up their leader._

_ Suddenly, RAW Superstars from the back become trickling out, fighting back against the Nexus, there to aid Cena. Natalya takes up a fight with Athena, throwing the veteran Diva out of the ring, where she is lifted back to her feet by Justin Gabriel. _

_ The Nexus retreated back up the ramp, lacking one member._

_ Darren Young lay stranded in the ring. The RAW Superstars blocked the path the ring so that the Nexus are unable to attempt a rescue for their downed comrade as Cena attacks viciously. _

_ The general manager's messages go unheeded by John Cena as he locked in the STFU on Darren Young. _

_ "Cena, Cena!" Michael Cole called to the former WWE Champion, "the general manager says, and I quote, because of your actions you will now face all members of the Nexus next week in a 7-on-1 handicap match."_

_ Cena at first looked upset by the news, but ultimately decided that he had nothing left to lose and continued his assault on Darren Young. His anger continued as the Nexus retreated up the ramp, knowing they could not help Darren. _

_ Athena glanced at her fellow Nexus members before rolling her eyes. Quickly, she pushed forward from where she had been pushed behind Wade and Justin and ran at the line of WWE Superstars which had been easing up as the Nexus retreated. _

_ Justin Gabriel reached out to stop her but she evaded and ran at the line of Superstars. _

_ The Superstars didn't know what to do, none of them wanting to hit the Diva. Athena aimed for the opposite side of the line that Natalya was on so that none of them would stop her. She ducked around Mark Henry and suddenly was heading for Cena, who threw Darren Young onto the announce table. _

_ Cena was planning to hit an FU on Darren Young, putting him through the announce table when suddenly Athena threw herself over Darren Young, turning her blue-gray eyes up to glare at Cena. She turned to face Cena, keeping herself between him and Darren._

_ "Hit me Cena, I dare you!" She yelled._

_ Cena narrowed his eyes but didn't move. _

_ The crowd was tumultuous as they stared between the Superstar and Diva who had a history as the show went off air. _

_[Off Screen]_

_-Monday Night RAW, July 12, 2010-_

"Good match," PJ said as I came backstage after facing Eve in a winning effort to become the number one contender for Alicia Fox's title, but due to the decree of the general manager I wouldn't be able to face Alicia at the upcoming pay per view. Creative, ultimately, hadn't decided if they were going to give me the belt yet or not due to what that would mean for the Nexus.

"Thanks," I said as I glanced up at him and smiled as I wrapped one arm around his waist in a hug.

"I think you're almost there, for the moonsault in a televised match," he said.

I chewed on my bottom lip but nodded, I had just hit a cross body springboard off the second rope to turn the match around in my favor. I was getting increasingly more comfortable in the ring. I felt seamless and flawless once more in the ring.

"I think it's because I got my high-flying trainer back," I said, winking at him before pulling away, "I'm gonna go clean up before the Nexus segment."

PJ caught my wrist, "do you want me to be there for your segment with Cena?"

I smiled at him, appreciating his concern, "no, I know how to duck and evade him if he tries to talk to me."

I knew PJ wanted to ask me why I still avoided Cena even though I'd told him I was completely over my feelings for the man but he didn't he stayed silent and just nodded before I turned and headed back to the locker room.

_[On Screen]_

_ "What you did last week was risky, don't do anything like that again," Wade scolded Athena who stood with her arms crossed, facing slightly away from the leader of the Nexus. _

_ "Yeah, whatever Wade, I was just trying to protect our guy. Cena was destroying him, he messed him up so bad he can't even wrestle tonight." She said, motioning with one hand._

_ "Yes, and now the GM has decided that you'll take his place because of what you did last week." Wade said, visibly perplexed._

_ "I'll be fine. It's seven of us against one of him, I probably won't even be tagged into the match." _

_ "You certainly won't. Who knows what Cena will do to you." _

_ "He won't hit me. He has more decency than that, code of honor and whatnot." She shrugged. _

_ "Just don't take anymore risks like that," Wade said before stalking off._

_ "Whatever," she rolled her eyes. _

_ "Athena, can we talk?"_

_ She turned to find John Cena approaching._

_ "Yeah...no," she said, shaking her head as she turned to leave._

_ Cena's hand reached out, blocking her path of exit. She sighed heavily, shaking her head before turning to look at him. "What do you want?" _

_ "I want to know why you're siding with the Nexus of all people." _

_ "I have my reasons."_

_ "You mean, because Barrett's threatened you?"_

_ "No, maybe that was why at first, but things have changed." _

_ "Things have changed? Yes, they certainly have, you are not the Athena I knew." _

_ "Obviously not, the Athena you knew was ridiculous and stupid to ever find you attractive." _

_ Cena's eyes searched her face for a moment, "I won't wrestle you." _

_ "Why not? Because I'm a Diva? Trust me honey, I've taken hits from guys bigger than you before in that ring." Cena flinched, that one stung. She stepped closer to whisper lowly in his ear, "If I'm tagged into that match, and I sure hope I am, I will not hesitate to destroy you like you destroyed Darren last week." She stepped back, lifting her head confidently, "you won't win, John. You'll never win against the Nexus." And with that she left._

_[Off Screen]_

"Paige, wait up!" Cena bellowed, picking up his pace in order to catch up with me.

"Dammit," I muttered under my breath as I tried to keep my head down and just walk.

I went to turn the corner but stopped myself just in time before I ran into someone. Glancing up from the person's tan chest I glared up at Randy, knowing he had done this on purpose.

"Paige, I've been trying to talk to you for months now," Cena sighed as I turned to face him.

I chewed my bottom lip, "then talk, since you're obviously not going to let me leave until you've said what you need to."

John stared at me for a moment and in that moment I remember what it felt like to think I was in love with him. I shook my head, knowing now what I felt for John was nothing compared to what I feel for PJ.

"I'm sorry about what happened that night, I'm sorry I broke script." He said, his words slow and purposeful.

I rolled my eyes, "I told you last time to not bother apologizing. It's been two years John, I'm over the fact that you changed your mind in the middle of the match and it caused me to break my neck. The one thing I'm still not okay with, is how you just forgot I existed afterward. I-I was ready to be with you, I was going to tell you that night that I'd broken up with Phil and wanted to be with you. I thought for sure you'd be the first person I saw when I came out of surgery. Instead I woke up to see the man who had cheated on me and I waited for you, for days, for weeks. Finally I realized, you were never coming, no one ever came."

John opened his mouth, but stopped, his blue eyes dropping from mine, "Paige," he cleared his throat, "I was only doing what I thought you wanted."

"What I wanted? You thought I didn't want you there?"

"That's what Phil said."

"What?" My eyebrows furrowed as I leaned forward, not comprehending what he'd just said.

"That's why this is all one big misunderstanding," John muttered, taking off his hat and running a hand through his hair, "when I got to the hospital, Phil was there, you were in surgery. We both waited all those hours until you were out of surgery and moved to a recovery room. Phil was on your emergency contact list, so they let him in to see you, told him the news. I waited and waited. When Phil finally came out of your room, he told me you didn't want me there, he told me that you said you wanted me to leave and never come back, that you didn't want anyone seeing you like that.

"I thought I was respecting your wishes Paige." John ended, a frown on his lips.

"Phil," I sucked in a breath, feeling the tears prick my eyes as I nodded nodded slowly, pursing my lips, "of course its Phil's fault. He told you that so that we wouldn't get together, because he was hoping I'd forget all about him cheating." I ran a hand through my hair, "when I woke up, I told Phil to leave, I told him I didn't want him there."

"A big misunderstanding," John murmured softly.

"Yeah, and it changed my life and I can't really say I'm sorry about that."

"I wouldn't expect you to," John said, a hint of a smile on his lips, "I've seen you and PJ, you're good for each other."

"I know," I whispered.

"You love him?" John asked, replacing his hat on his head.

"I think so, yeah," I replied and he smiled back at me.

"I'd like to be friends Paige." He shrugged, "especially since it looks like we're going to be working together a lot."

"I'd like that too," I said.

"So, the three amigos are back together?" Randy asked, reminding both John and I that he was still standing there.

I laughed, "maybe someday soon," I said with a nod. "Well, I have to go find my guys. I'll see you," I pointed to John, "later for our match, and I'll see you around Randy."

As I turned and walked away I let out the breath I had been unconsciously holding and let all the pain and hurt that I'd accumulated over the years because of John never showing up wash away.

It was replaced with anger and betrayal quickly as I realized the root of all my anger and pain was Phil, Phil and his lies. Phil, who I had recently forgiven, who I had recently said we could try to be civil towards each other again.

All bets were off now.


	34. How Much This Means To Me

_**Sorry it took so long for me to get this up. **_

_**Two more chapters after this!**_

_**Oh, my amazing reviewers, how I love you: **DeathDaisy**, **KiwiStar**, **nic-002001**, **Kirstein Renee Orton**, and **iBrizzy- Daughter of Hermes. **Thank you for the continued support. Your words mean so much to me. **_

_**Xoxoxo**_

_**Angel**_

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't **_

_**Chapter 34- So I'll Tell Everyone How Much This Means To Me**_

_[Monday, July 19, 2010]_

_Climbing the turnbuckle was a familiar feeling as my hands gripped the ribbed ropes. I confidently stood atop the turnbuckle with a smirk as the crowd reacted positively to me. _

I sucked in a breath as I looked down into the empty ring, that night in the ring two years ago still vivid and alive in my mind like it had just been the day before.

_But suddenly, in a blink as I stood to my full height, a weight came crashing into the corner, bumping against my legs. I blinked as suddenly my equilibrium was disrupted and my world titled on its axis. _

I swallowed as I closed my eyes and was reassured knowing that I had a crash mat set up below me.

_I lurched forward, my arms windmilling in open air, my stomach lifting into my throat as weightlessness took over. _

_ The crack resounded in my ears as pain began to seep throughout my body at a stinging rate. _

_ Blackness took over. _

I flinched at the memory of the pain and then the emptiness. I'd fallen unconscious due to the broken neck as well as a blow to the head when I had fallen.

I opened my eyes as I maneuvered myself around so my back was to the ring.

Another deep breath, a flash of the pain and falling sensation.

I jumped and the falling sensation belonged to the present as I executed my moonsault. I had no idea if it looked beautiful or textbook, but it felt good as I landed on my front on the crash mat.

I rolled over onto my back and let out a breath, smiling to myself, feeling a small flame of pride light up in my chest.

The smile faded as silence greeted me in the arena.

I was there alone, no one there to have seen my big accomplishment, no one to clap is surprise and awe.

It would've been better if someone had been there.

I pushed myself to my feet and pack the crash mat away before picking up my bag and my water bottle before heading backstage.

Honestly, it would've been better if PJ had been there.

Suddenly, the memory of my conversation with John the previous week.

_"You love him?"_

_"I think so, yeah." _

But the memory of that conversation also brought up something else.

_"He told me you didn't want me there, he told me that you said you wanted me to leave and never come back, that you didn't want anyone seeing you like that. I thought I was respecting your wishes Paige."_

Phil was the reason I was so angry and upset during the time of my recuperation. All this time I had thought John's feelings for me had not been as great or strong as he once had proclaimed. That was a wrong assumption.

It was a huge misunderstanding, centered around a lie Phil told.

I was angry at him, furious actually, but I couldn't hate him for his lies told out of jealousy.

If Phil hadn't lied then I would never have found myself in love with PJ.

In love with PJ.

Was love enough? Could being in love with him fix the problems we had before?

I wasn't so sure we could just overlook the mistake we made the last time we were in an official relationship. I wasn't even sure I was ready yet to be back in a relationship.

I had been focusing on my anger with Phil over the past week, not focusing on taking that next step with PJ for the second time.

I sighed heavily. I had a lot to think about.

_[Monday, July 26, 2010]_

"What's got you in such a good mood?" Heath asked, nudging my shoulder with his as we stood putting out bags away in our lockers.

I shrugged, "nothing really."

"Hmm," he didn't seemed convinced, "did you and PJ do the bump and grind again last night?" He asked, his questioned accompanied by a body roll and pelvic thrust that made my eyes bug out before I sputtered in laughter.

"No, not that it's any of your business," I said trying to contain my laughs.

"Rossy, you're a part of the Nexus, which means its the group's business," Fred quipped as he walked from the bathroom to his locker.

"Guys, stop harassing Paige about her sex life." David said and I gave him a grateful look, thinking someone was finally on my side.

"It's not her fault she has to settle for second best since I'm a married man."

"You wish," I shot back but my retort was lost as the guys went off with that taunt.

"So if you're saying PJ is second best, you must be implying that I'm third best?" Fred raised an eyebrow.

"No, mate, you're like least best. Dead last." Stu said, clapping the shorter man on the shoulder. Fred sent the Brit a glare.

"So then who's third?" Heath asked.

"Tyrone obviously, he's the one who has like ten children." I burst into the conversation looking at Heath, "I mean, it's obviously not you. What are you called again? The one man rock band? Must mean you go solo," I pumped my fist suggestively before lifting my hands in the air innocently and smirking.

There was a moment of silence as the joke sunk in before the guys burst out into raucous laughter.

"Burn, man, you just got _burned_." Fred said, covering his mouth as he laughed, leaning against the row of lockers.

Heath just glared at me, shaking his head.

I shrugged apologetically, "you can't hate me for speaking the truth."

The laughter was renewed and doubled in volume as PJ walked into the locker room. He arched an eyebrow at me curiously and I just shook my head grinning.

Suddenly, there was another knock at the door, "Knock, know, I have a surprise for the birthday girl!"

The door opened before Jay even got an affirmation that it was okay for him to enter.

He was grinning from ear to ear as he clutched the ribbons of a huge bouquet of balloons.

My eyes widened, "Jay!" I said, sounding either excited or a little upset, I wasn't so sure.

"It's your birthday?" Heath, PJ and Fred all asked at the same time.

I smiled sheepishly and shrugged, "yeah."

"Why didn't you say anything Paige?" Stu asked, sounding a little incredulous and upset.

I shrugged again, "I don't know...I just don't usually get too excited for my birthday. After you spend so many alone it just becomes another day."

"That's depressing, we're definitely going out," Fred decided and held up a hand when I opened my mouth to protest, "no, ifs ands or buts about it."

"But I'm the birthday girl, aren't I supposed to get what I want?" I questioned, furrowing my eyebrows.

"And what you would want is to sit alone in your hotel room apparently, which is definitely not happening," David said.

I rolled my eyes.

"We'll have to check out the club scene then," Jay said with a smirk and I glared at him.

"Sounds like a plan," PJ said before looking at me. As the guys dissolved into conversations about where to go for my birthday PJ pulled me aside.

"Why didn't mention it was your birthday?" He asked.

"It's just a normal day," I shrugged.

"No, it's the day you came into the world. It's worth celebrating because if you hadn't been born I wouldn't know what it's like to be this happy," he argued, pushing my hair behind my ear.

I swallowed.

PJ looked like he was going to say more when suddenly Jay called my name.

I turned to him, arching a brow.

"Beth and Jillian have volunteered to help you get dolled up for tonight. They said to meet them in the Divas locker room after the show."

"Okay then, I swear guys, it's not that big a deal."

The guys response was a unanimous eye roll.

I sighed, but deep down inside, I was glad I had so many people who cared and who wanted to make my birthday special.

I smiled to myself as I turned back to my locker, actually excited to be going out with the guys.

_**/**_

"This is the club? It looks like it's closed, it's pitch black inside," I said, peering through the few windows on the outside wall of the club.

"Tinted windows," Jay said as he and PJ walked on either side of me toward the entrance of the club.

The girls had really worked their magic on my appearance. Curling my layered hair, lining my eyes, thickening my lashes, fitting me into a curve-hugging dress that showed off all my assets without making me look like a tramp.

I looked good and I felt good and I was excited to be spending the night having fun with my friends. It would be a nice distraction from the thoughts and decisions that had been plaguing me recently.

"Whatever you say," I muttered with a smirk in Jay's direction as he held the door open for me and PJ motioned for me to enter first.

I stepped into the club and suddenly the lights flickered on along with the booming sound of several people yelling "surprise!"

I blinked in shock as I looked around the club, which was decorated with various happy birthday signs and streamers and balloons.

"Oh my god," I whispered.

"Are you surprised?" PJ asked, whispering the words into my ear.

I turned to him, "yes," I breathed before throwing my arms around his neck in a hug.

Everyone cheered as I pulled back from PJ to hug the Nexus guys next.

"Were you guys in on it too?" I asked as I hugged Fred around the shoulders.

"Maybe," he replied with a smug grin.

"You're acting skills have gotten much better," I said with a grin as he rolled his eyes at me.

Practically the whole roster was in attendance, plus friends of mine who were no longer working for the company. I was shocked that someone was able to get all of these people notified and organized to gather in one place, just for me.

"Who planned all of this?" I asked Jay once I was done greeting all the guests and they began to disperse around the shut down club.

"Not me." He said before nodding over to my left, "PJ did most everything."

"Really?" I asked, "how did he even know it was my birthday."

Jay shrugged, "me of course. I brought it up shortly after you two started talking again and he was shocked that he didn't even know you're birthday was coming up. He started planning immediately. This is all him," Jay explained, motioning to the club that had been rented out in order to host my surprise birthday party, "from the decorations to the guests. It was all his doing."

"I can't believe he did all of this," I said, looking around the room in awe.

"Well believe it." Jay said.

"I don't deserve him," I muttered.

"Maybe you do, maybe you don't. But all I know is that he wants to deserve you."

I turned to look at PJ but before I could reply to his sudden insightful words a voice over the speaker systems of the club began to speak, an accented voice I knew very well. Just the sound of it made my heart stutter.

"Well, in order to properly start off this night I'd like to give a toast to the woman we are all here for." PJ began as Victoria handed him a glass of champagne.

Jay grinned at me as he handed me my own flute of champagne.

I turned my eyes back to PJ immediately once the glass was in my hand.

"Happy birthday, love," he said, his eyes finding mine in the crowd and everyone gave a unanimous 'awww' in response to the term of endearment he used.

"Tonight is your night, all for you, all because every other day of the year you do so much for everyone else. You deserve at least this one day that is dedicated to you and you alone." He smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back and feel like he and I were the only ones in the room. "Cheers," he said, lifting up his glass and everyone mimicked the action before clinking glasses and sipping their champagne.

PJ cleared his throat, "now, let's get this party started. DJ?"

Suddenly, music started up and the guests set their empty champagne glasses down in favor of dancing.

"So, birthday girl, you need to have some fun tonight," Fred grinned as he approached me.

"And how do you propose I do that?" I asked, arching a brow and settling a hand on my hip.

"By dancing with me of course," he replied, holding his hand out to me.

I laughed as I slid my hand into his and allowed him to guide me onto the dance floor.

Heath found us soon after dancing and joined in. I found myself laughing at their antics and ridiculous dance move. I couldn't help but let go as well and allow myself to be free to have some fun and live a little. It was my birthday.

"I need a drink!" I said, pumping my fist into the air.

Several of the people around me cheered in agreement and I laughed as I made my way over to the bar, which had a working bartender, and ordered myself a shot.

"I'll have what she's having," Jay said as he leaned against the bar next to me, nodding at the bartender.

I laughed softly as I leaned my back against the bar and looked over at Jay.

"Having fun?" He asked.

"Definitely, this was a great idea."

"You should go tell PJ that, he's been waiting to talk to you."

The bartender slid our shots toward us and I picked up the shot glass and downed the contents of it before answering Jay. "I think I will."

A familiar beat began to thud in the club and suddenly Fred, David, Beth and some of the other guys were all walking toward me.

"go shawty, it's your birthday. We gon' party like it's your birthday. We gon' sip Bacardi like it's your birthday. And you know we don't give a fuck, it's not your birthday," Fred sang, swiveling his head back and forth as he approached me.

"But it _is _my birthday," I argued as he grabbed my hand and tugged me onto the dance floor.

"You can find me in the club, bottle full of bub. Look mam, I got the X if you into takin' drugs."

"I don't _do _drugs," I said, trying to hold back my laughter as Fred rolled his eyes and suddenly was up on me, dancing, well, grinding.

"I'm into havin' sex, I ain't into makin' love. So come gimme a hug, If you're into gettin' rubbed."

I was instantly cracking up laughing as Heath approached me, backside first, gyrating his hips wildly.

"You two are ridiculous!" I yelled above the music but couldn't help myself as I began to dance along with them, probably looking ridiculous myself.

By the time the song was over, I was sweating and escaped from the two men to go get a bottle of water. I sat down heavily on a bar stool as I took a sip of the refreshing liquid.

I smiled as I set my water bottle down, watching as PJ made his way toward me.

"Hey," he said as he sat down next to me.

"Hey," I replied before placing my hand on his knee, "thank you _so _much for this. It's amazing, I can't believe you went to all this trouble just to plan a part for me. I would've been fine with dinner, or just going to a club like we normally do."

PJ shook his head, "you deserve to have a party and to have everyone celebrate you."

I stared at him for a moment, "well, thank you. I haven't had this much fun in a while. Fred and Heath are..."

"A bunch of idiots."

"Well besides that," I laughed at his joke, shaking my head slightly.

I noticed a change in the atmosphere as a slow song replaced the dance beats that had been playing previously.

"I guess I should ask you to dance before Fred comes over here and steals you again."

"That's probably a good idea," I said.

PJ slid off his stool and turned to face me, "would you like to dance?"

"Of course," I replied as I stood and wrapped arm around his waist before we found a spot in the middle of the crowd on the dance floor.

I looped my arms loosely around PJ's neck and his arms encircled my waist.

"So, you were really surprised?" He asked.

"I was, the acting in the locker room earlier, where the guys pretended they had no idea it was my birthday—totally believable."

"Good, we had to practice that a couple times."

I chuckled slightly.

"You know, I've never had someone go to this much trouble for my birthday."

"Really? Not even Jay, when you guys were together?"

"Nope, not even then. Jay always made my birthdays something smaller and more personal because when we got together, I hadn't celebrated my birthday since I turned fifteen. Birthday's weren't such a big deal to me anymore."

"I see," PJ murmured as his palm cupped my cheek.

I swallowed, "but this is really great. The music, the people, you."

"Me?"

"Yeah, this wouldn't be the same without you, obviously." I shrugged.

"Paige." The change in tone was noticeable and I knew the conversation we were having was taking a serious turn.

I glanced up at him, waiting for him to continue. He searched for the correct words for a moment before he began to speak again.

"A lot has happened in the past couple weeks. I'm glad things didn't get awkward after we had sex but I can't say I've been feeling normal afterward."

"I don't follow," I said, tilting my head to the side, hoping he could elaborate.

"I don't regret it, and I don't feel awkward but I'm not...happy with the state of our relationship. I know I said I'd wait but...I didn't realize how hard it would be when I said it, I didn't know what would happen." He sighed, dropping his hand from my face to run it through his hair and I found my fingers tracing his jaw as I studied his expression. A crease formed between his brows and there was silence for a moment as the song ended and another more upbeat one began.

We stopped moving and just stood there together.

"I know I've said it before, but it's been at the worst moments possible. But after what happened, and I've been thinking about how I feel and what I want for us and for myself, I know I need to say it to your in the right way."

My heart began to beat faster. I knew what was coming.

His hands framed my face.

"I'm in love with you Paige."

I gasped softly and stared at him in shocked silence for the briefest of moments.

I swallowed, "I know," I whispered.

His eyebrows furrowed and disappointment clouded his features.

"And I know I'm in love with you too but I just don't think that's enough after what's happened between us before."

I removed his hands from my face and watched as they fell limply back to his sides. I took a step away, glanced back at him as if to say I'm sorry, but the words never left my lips.

I walked away.


	35. Let My Love Loose Again

_**Sorry to keep you guys waiting. I sincerely apologize.**_

_**Only one chapter left! Ah! **_

_**After this fic I will most likely be posting my new fic Nothing Left to Lose, and the winner of my poll Learning the Hard Way...**_

_**Thank you to my wonderful reviewers, my usuals for this fic: **nic-002001**, **iBrizzy**, **Kirstein Renee Orton**, and **DeathDaisy._

**_xoxoxo_**

**_Angel_**

**_PS- I only own Paige...I do not own anyone affiliated with the WWE, and I also do not own the poem used in this chapter. _**

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't**_

_**Chapter 35- Let My Love Lose Again Because We May Have Said Goodbye A Little Too Soon **_

PJ stood on the dance floor alone as Paige disappeared through the crowd.

He let out an incredulous huff of breath, the whole day felt like a ridiculous attempt at the impossible all of a sudden, his confidence was drained, his faith in his love for Paige suddenly didn't seem enough.

Maybe that's what she had meant.

_"And I know I'm in love with you too but I just don't think that's enough after what's happened between us before."_

"Hey," a hand suddenly came down on PJ's shoulder. His head snapped up and he turned to look at Jay, who had a grim expression on his face. "Let's go sit down."

PJ just nodded silently and let Jay guide him with a hand on his shoulder to a table where they both sat down across from one another.

They were silent as Jay ordered them each a beer, and he still didn't speak until the beer was slid across the table toward him.

PJ took a swig of the alcohol before sighing heavily and raking a hand through is hair, "I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried fucking everything."

"I know," Jay muttered with a nod of agreement.

"I'm out of ideas. I don't know what else I can say or do to change her time."

"You just need to give her time."

"I don't know if I want to give her more time." PJ countered.

Jay's face was stony as he replied, "you do."

PJ blinked at him and knew the blond man was right. He sighed again, "what am I doing wrong?"

"Nothing, you're doing everything right. Paige is..she's scared. Her response to fear is to run and that's what she's doing now. She's convinced of something and there's nothing you can do to talk her out of that conviction, you have to wait for her to do it herself. For Paige, it's all a personal, mental battle. It always has been. Her childhood, her father, all the things he told her really fucked with her head. She has insecurities that she won't tell anyone about and she chooses to deal with them on her own. You have to let her do that, you just have to believe in what you feel for her and wait just a little longer. I know its a lot to ask someone to wait, but honestly, every other time she's asked a guy to wait for her, they never really have."

PJ listened to Jay words, processed them, mulled them over in his head and realized the man was right.

"PJ, she's running right now because she knows she has to make a choice. She's afraid of the consequences of her decision."

The South African man nodded before sipping his beer again, "I think I'm gonna head out. Um, could you make sure she gets her birthday present from me?"

"Of course." Jay replied and the two men nodded at each other before PJ walked away, leaving the club and heading back to the hotel.

-x-o-x-o-x-

I heard the back door to the club slide open heavily and shrunk further back into the shadow I was standing in, hoping whoever has stepped outside didn't see me.

"Paige."

That voice. Hearing that voice made something inside of my snap. Suddenly, all of my confusion, all of my fear, all of my indecision quickly morphed into an anger that was too much to contain and suddenly was released from me.

"Phil, please leave me the fuck alone."

"Paige, I just wanted to see if you're okay," Phil said softly, taking a step toward me.

I spun on my heel to face him, arching my brows, "you want to know if I'm _okay_?" I laughed bitterly, "that's ironic seeing as you're the reason I haven't been okay in over two years."

"What?"

"Don't even try to play innocent. I know, Phil. I know what you did."

"Paige, I don't know what you're talking about. But, look, I'm so-"

"You told John that I didn't want him there in the hospital, that I didn't want anyone to come see me."

His face drained of color as he stared at me, the fake apology dying on his tongue. He swallowed, trying to erase the guilty look that had slid onto his features.

"What did you think you were doing? You had no right to say any of that." I said, eyebrows furrowing, "you're the reason I've been so angry and upset and distrusting since I came back. I mean, come on, did you really think I would wake up from surgery and not remember that I broke up with you because you cheated on me? You must've known that wouldn't be very likely, yet you still went and spewed those lies to John."

Phil opened his mouth to say something but I didn't give him enough time to get in a word edgewise.

"So, about me saying that we could try to be friends again, consider that null and void. There's nothing you can say or do to fix what you've done, so just leave me alone and don't try to talk to me again."

With that I shoved past him, going to open the door to the club and stepping back inside.

"You deserve to be happy Paige." Phil's voice was soft behind me.

I sucked in a breath through my nose and pushed the back door open and reentered by birthday party. As the door closed behind me the tension melted from my body and suddenly exhaustion took over and I felt empty as my eyes scanned the room.

My brows furrowed as I searched but no matter where I looked, I couldn't find PJ.

"You looking for him?" Jay asked, coming up beside me.

I turned to look at him, opening my mouth to deny it but thought better of it and instead answered truthfully, "yes."

"PJ left."

"He did?"

"What did you expect Paige? For him to stick around after you shut him off again?"

I bit my lip and looked away, knowing Jay was right.

Jay sighed, placing his hand between my shoulder blades, "sorry that sounded sharp, it's just...I've seen you do this before, run from things. I thought you'd been making progress, what with facing your dad and all, but...Paige, that kid's crazy for you and I don't think he deserves to be put on hold like that."

"I-I know Jay, and I love him, I do..."

"So what's the problem?"

"I...I," I swallowed, "I'm scared."

"Scared of...?"

"Getting hurt. Being let down. Not being enough."

"Paige, you should know that PJ is going to do whatever he can to keep you forever. Look, you obviously need to do some thinking, alone and I don't want to influence you either way so I'll stop talking now but PJ did leave this for you."

Jay leaned over, picking a box up off a nearby table and holding it out to me.

I looked at Jay questioningly and he just nodded to the box before leaning in and pressing a kiss to my forehead. "Happy birthday," he murmured before walking away.

I sat down at the booth, setting the box down on the table before me. The box was very thin, wrapped in deep blue paper with a silver ribbon tied neatly around the box, tied into a bow. I took a deep breath as I stared down at the gift, my fingers trembled as I tugged on the ribbon and it came loose.

Deciding to be brave I tugged the ribbon away and lifted the top of the box. Tucked inside, under silver tissue paper, were a few sheets of paper. I picked up the first, assuming they were placed in a particular order because I knew how specific and romantic PJ could be.

The words on the paper were hand written and all with a quick glance it seemed to be a list.

Taking another breath and nodding to myself, I began to read.

_ The Things I Find Attractive About You_

_The color of your eyes, some days they're blue, others slate gray_

_The shape of your top lip with it's gentle slopes and sharp indent_

_The way your jaw tightens when I kiss your neck_

_How you bite the corner of your bottom lip when you're nervous_

_Your natural beauty, your lack of surgical adjustments to your body_

_The dip of your waist_

_Your laugh_

_Your sarcastic sense of humor_

_The way you value trust and honesty_

_Your possessiveness, its humble, but noticeable. _

_Your ability to love even after having been wronged_

_Your career success_

_Your ability to persevere and continue on when all seems lost _

_The way your nose scrunches when you're angry_

_The color of your cheeks when you blush_

_The way you kiss me and how every kiss lingers with me even after we've stopped_

_The way that the little things please you_

_Your expectations of me and those around you_

_The way you make me a better man_

_The way you made me fall in love with you_

_The way you smile at me_

_The way you share yourself with me_

_Your loyalty, your passion_

_The way you love_

_Everything else that I couldn't put into words..._

I bit my lip as I held back the tears that burned behind my eyes as I set the piece of paper down, treating it gently, as if it was fine china.

It was something to hear someone confess things to you aloud on the fly, but reading them written down is a completely different feeling. He spent time choosing these words, compiling this list, articulately deciding what to include and how to word it. It was beautiful, it shook me to know this was his heart, this was why he loved me, all written down on a piece of paper, line by line, quality by quality.

Closing my eyes for a brief moment, I controlled my emotions and reigned back my tears before opening my eyes once more. I picked up the second sheet of paper. PJ's familiar handwriting was scrawled down the page. My eyes slid over the words, my breath hitching in my throat.

_ We were once strangers._

_ Then we became friends _

_ Through that friendship grew love._

_ Through this love I make my vow to you._

_ I vow that you will never be lonely again._

_ Through life's tribulations I am your strength._

_ I shall be there for you when you need a friend _

_ When you need someone to love and hold you,_

_ my arms willingly await with compassion. _

_ For my love is unconditional _

_ I love you for who you are._

_ Your past is yours._

_ Ours is now and forever. _

_ Together we shall make new memories._

_ Memories of a life with passion_

_ and desire for each other, _

_ a life of devotion._

_ With this I vow to you my heart._

_ A heart over flowing with an undying love._

_ A love for now, tomorrow,_

_ forevermore._

_ -Sonji Rush _

My eyebrows furrowed as I read over the poem again. The words felt like something more than just a simple poem. The stanzas sounded more like someone's vows, like a proclamation and a promise.

I let my fingers trace the words in PJ's handwriting, biting my lip as my heart swelled at the realization of how much PJ truly loved me and felt for me. It was an immense pressure and responsibility to know someone loved you and depended on your returning of that love so much. It was frightful and empowering to have that much control.

I set the poem down with the list and moved on to the final item in the box. It was a small square envelope. Hooking my finger under the flap, I ripped cleanly across the top of the envelope, opening it.

I pulled the content of the envelope out and stared at it for a moment.

It was a gift card for airplane tickets, atop the gift card was a note that read "_see the world with me?_"

The tears were back again full force as I slid the gift card back into the envelope and quickly but carefully placed the two sheets of paper back into the box, replacing the lid. I picked up the box and located my purse before going in search of Jay.

I found my best friend at the bar, talking with John and Randy. I nodded to the two other men and placed a hand on Jay's arm.

"I have to go," I said to him, meeting his eyes.

"I'll make up an excuse. Are you okay?"

"No." And with that I squeezed Jay's arm before turning, ready to leave.

"Paige, wait," Jay called after me.

I turned back, my expression questioning. Jay placed a set of car keys in my hand. "PJ caught a cab."

I blinked before Jay turned me and gave me a nudge toward the door.

I rushed out of the club and into the parking lot, knowing it was amazingly sweet of PJ to catch a cab back to the hotel and leave me the rental so I could get back without having to hitch a ride or call a cab.

My hand dipped into my purse and pulled out my cell phone, dialing PJ's number and holding the phone to my ear, chewing my lip as the phone rang.

He didn't answer.

I sighed, pressing my free hand to my forehead as the instructions to leave a voice mail were played out on the phone. I squeezed my eyes shut just before the tone sounded and the recording began.

"PJ—I—we need to talk, so please, please call me back. Please."

I hung up the phone, staring down at the device for a moment, before sliding it back into my purse and then locating my rental and driving myself back to the hotel.

I was alone, having messed up everything, regretting it all.

* * *

_**Reviews are always appreciated**_


	36. I Know I'm Supposed To Love You

_**I'm a little disappointed that I only got three reviews for the last chapter. I guess it's because I didn't update the fic too regularly, but oh well- I still kept getting people to add it to their alert list...but no one would review.**_

_**Thanks to KiwiStar, DeathDaisy and nic-002001 for their reviews. I really appreciate them.**_

_**Thank you to everyone who reviewed this fic since the beginning (which was a while ago!). All the kind words left and the adds to favorites have been amazing and have kept me going when I really just wanted to stop working on this fic. I'm going to miss writing Paige and PJ, they're one of my favorite couples to date..**_

_**I hope you guys have enjoyed this fic, and I hope you like this final chapter. Thank you for joining me on this crazy ride of a fic.**_

_**Onward and upward,**_

_**xoxoxo**_

_**Angel **_

* * *

_**Seasons Change But People Don't**_

_**Chapter 36- It's A Strange Way Of Saying That I Know I'm Supposed To Love You **_

I sat in the locker room, my knee fidgeting as I checked my phone every few seconds.

Still no calls. Not even a minute had passed since the last time I checked.

It had been a week since my birthday celebration. A week since PJ had told me he was in love with me. A week since I had walked away from him. A week since I'd opened the beautiful and thoughtful present from PJ. A week since I realized how stupid I have been all along.

"So, have you made a decision?" Jay asked, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked down at me.

I glanced up at my best friend, chewing on my bottom lip as I did so. "I think so."

"You think so?" Jay arched an eyebrow.

"It's a big deal Jay," I argued defensively.

"I know, and I want you to make the right decision."

I nodded in understanding, knowing Jay just wanted me to be happy.

I opened my mouth to say something when suddenly the locker room door banged against the wall as it was thrown open.

Stu stood in the doorway, flanked by Heath and Fred.

"He's here." Stu said without preamble, his eyes meeting mine.

I released the breath I had subconsciously been holding. He was here, he was safe, he was okay.

Not hearing from him for a week had nearly driven me made, not knowing if he was okay, or if he had been hurt or if he'd left the road.

I stood from the bench. "How do I look?" I asked.

"Sexy."

"Hot."

"Beautiful."

"Just go already!" Jay huffed, not wasting time complimenting me.

I sent him a half-hearted glare before I nodded resolutely.

I hugged Jay, needing his support. He patted my back, "go get him," he murmured before letting me go and pushing me toward the door.

As I walked through the hallways of the arena toward the gorilla position my nerves were causing me to shake and my mind was going a mile a minute.

I approached the gorilla and stopped to take a deep, calming breath, hoping my shaking hands weren't noticeable.

I spotted PJ immediately and my heart picked up its pace at the sight of him.

He looked good, like he always did. But when he turned slightly as he did his pre-match stretches, I could see the shadows under his eyes.

Swallowing I knew it was now or never.

I approached him as his back was to me. I reached out, placing my hand on his shoulder and pulling, turning him around to face me.

I rose up on my toes as my fingers curled around the back of his neck, pulling his lips down to mine, kissing him soundly.

I didn't let it last long or linger, I broke the kiss and pulled back before I lost all self control.

"Meet me after your match," I said, my eyes locking with his.

He stared back at me, completely in shock. He hadn't been expecting that. He probably hadn't expected to even see me that night.

I didn't wait for him to verbally respond, instead I turned on my heel and walked away, my heart beat in my ears.

-x-o-x-o-x-

PJ ran his hand through his hair as he came backstage after his match.

Before the match, his head had been clear. He'd decided to give Paige time, knowing there was nothing more he could do to convince her. He knew it would have to be her idea to get back together. He'd put himself on the line and all he could hope for now is that she would do the same.

The last thing he had expected was her coming up to him before his match and kissing him, with such a finality and resolution that it nearly frightened him.

He couldn't help but feel nervous as he walked away from the curtain, down the maze-like halls of the arena.

As he walked, he realized he had no idea where Paige even was.

Jay would know where she was, he realized, his mind clearing for a moment. The confusion, the shock and the adrenaline was still in his system, but for a moment he had clarity and realized he needed to find Jay in order to find Paige.

PJ located the locker room and opened the door, finding Jay alone inside, placing his things back into his duffel now that the show was over.

When he heard the door open, Jay turned to see PJ had entered. "Hey," he greeted normally.

"I feel like the world has been flipped on its axis. Just before my match Paige pretty much ambushed me and kissed me." PJ said.

Jay arched an eyebrow, "and you're complaining why?"

"I'm not complaining, I'm just...honestly, I'm shocked."

Jay smirked slightly. "She's made her decision PJ, I'd go find her if I were you."

"Do you know where she is?"

"Empty locker room around the corner." Jay replied before turned back to his bag.

"Thanks," PJ murmured before leaving the locker room in a hurry.

-x-o-x-o-x-

I turned when I heard the locker room door open and I found myself gasping as my eyes met PJ's and it felt like the world froze as we stared at each other for a long moment.

"Paige," he breathed my name softly and I wasn't even sure if he had really said it or if I was just so nervous I was hearing things.

He stepped fully into the room and closed the door behind him, slowly walking closer to me.

"Um, we can sit..." I said, my eyes sliding away from his to the bench.

"Okay," PJ replied softly, walking over and sitting down on the bench. After hesitating a moment I joined him, leaving a space between us.

I turned, pulling one of my legs up onto the bench and folding it so I could face PJ. He turned, lifting his leg over so he was straddling the bench and facing me as well.

We were silent for several long moments and I knew I needed to say something. My hands shook as I took a moment to breathe and organize my thoughts. Finally, I decided to begin, nodding to myself and summoning my courage.

"I know I've been stupid and frustrating and so hard to love, and I'm really sorry about that."

PJ butted in immediately, "you're not hard to love Paige, definitely not that."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes, "please just let me talk and get everything out, okay? You can comment and argue and contradict me after."

He smiled slightly at that, and I felt myself returning the smile. I felt the knot of nerves in my stomach ease slightly, but it was still noticeably there.

The smile faded from my mouth, my expression turning serious as I stared at him, studying the beautiful planes of his face, his solid body, strong arms, silky hair.

He matched my stare, waiting, being patient, giving me the time I needed to convince myself to speak the words I'd been working on for a week.

"When you're nervous, your left leg twitches. Sometimes you talk in your sleep. You look for the best in everyone you meet. You don't judge people without knowing them. You're a risk-taking optimist who doesn't take no for an answer. You're not the jealous type but you're protective and when you're being protective your accent thickens. When you wake up in the morning you open one eye before the other and you stretch out your body starting with your feet and working your way upward. You're determined and have so many goals and dreams you've lost count. When you love someone you give them everything you've got, heart and soul.

"You're everything I could ask for and then more. I don't deserve you but I sure as hell want you." I sucked in a breath, my eyes searching PJ's face, which had taken on a very soft expression, "I've been so afraid of being in love with you because every time I've loved someone I've lost it without ever really getting to fight for it. I've been too afraid of losing you because you're so precious to me. But I realized last week, I wasn't fighting for us, a-and I made my decision."

PJ's eyes were wide and intent on me, and I could tell he really wanted me to just say it—if I wanted us to be together or not.

"I've decided to fight for us and say fuck fear," I said, and as I spoke the words, I knew they were true and right. I smiled briefly before reaching out, my fingers tangling into PJ's hair as I pulled his lips to mine.

I felt his hand come up to cup the back of my neck, tilting my mouth, changing the angle to deepen our kiss. He took my bottom lip between his, sucking on it softly as he pulled my body closer to his.

Our lips separated as he pressed his faced against mine, his nose along mine, his temple to my temple. "God, I love you so much Paige," he whispered hoarsely, his voice breaking before he kissed my lips gently before pulling back all the way.

"I love you too, I'm sorry I've made you wait so long," I said, my hand wrapping around his before pulling his hand to my lips, kissing his knuckles.

He smiled softly, brushing my hair out of my face, "it was so worth it."

* * *

"_**And You're The Only Place That Feels Like Home"**_

I awoke with a low moan at the sensation of PJ's soft fingertips sliding along my bare torso. He traced swirling patterns starting just under my breasts and slowly trailed downward. His slow fingers circled around my belly button and then disappeared. A half a breath later PJ's warm mouth was at the starting point of his trail. In a flashing moment I wondered how he remembered the exact pattern he had taken with his fingers, which he was now retracing with his tongue. But thought left me as I closed my eyes and arched my back.

"PJ," I breathed and turned my head slightly, opening my eyes to look at the man lying next to me.

"Good morning, love," he murmured, shifting his weight so he was propped up on his elbow and leaning over me slightly. His hand rested on my hip, just above the edge of the blanket while his thumb stroked rhythmically over and over. The movement of his fingers distracted me and I blinked before meeting his hazel eyes.

"Why do you always wake me up like this?" I asked in a soft humming, my words slow and blending together.

PJ leaned down, kissing my ear, "because I want to spend every waking moment we have together showing you how much I love you."

I reached a hand up, my fingers sliding along his cheek and turning his face to mine. Our lips met and parted sweetly. I smiled as I laid back, "you always sound like a living poet," I paused, "you make up for my lack of being a romantic."

He nuzzled my neck, "you are romantic, in your own way," he kissed my shoulder.

He kissed up my neck, under my jaw, just below my ear, up my cheek, to my temple. I sighed softly and grinned as he moved to hover over me. He braced his weight on his elbows, on either side of my head. Kissing me softly he curled an arm around my waist, pulling me flush against him. I groaned at the feel of his arousal pressed against me.

I grinned impishly as I placed my palms flat on his chest and pecked his lips again. I curled my fingers so he felt my nails against his tanned skin and then I began to drag them downwards.

In a quick motion our positions were reversed. I straddled his hips and smirked, adjusting myself to keep distance between us. I kissed just below his Adam's apple before placing kissers lower and lower, down his chest before splitting off to the side. I peppered his chest and torso with kisses, tracing his washboard abs with my tongue at a slow, tempting pace.

His hands gripped my hips suddenly, "Paige," he groaned. I smiled, knowing how to drive him crazy.

I felt his fingers dive into the hair at the back of my neck as he pulled my lips to his. I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth, flicking my tongue against it.

"Dear God, Paige," PJ groaned as we broke the kiss.

Before I could say another word I was beneath him as he kissed me again, fully on the mouth, tongue dancing and twining with mine as he pressed the length of his body against me. I let out a heady breath as his lips traveled southward as did his hands.

"Mmm, babe," I whispered, "I'm still sore from last night," I said, running my fingers through his thick hair.

He smirked against my stomach before placing a chaste kiss on the skint here before he lifted his head, "I do not feel the least bit guilty," he said.

"Mm, don't, it's not a bad thing. Just give me a couple hours," I said as he pulled himself back up my body, lying down on his side, pulling me closer to him.

He kissed my shoulder, "how about a shower?" He asked. I sent him a glance and he lifted his shoulders innocently, "a completely innocent, normal shower."

I chuckled softly and nodded, kissing his lips before we both rolled out of bed lazily, heading for the bathroom.

I stood in our bedroom, in a silky robe that had been a gift from Beth, studying the large map of the world painted on the wall.

PJ walked out of the bathroom in a pair of low riding sweat pants and I grinned at him as he sauntered over to me, wrapping his strong arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder.

"Where to Mrs. Lloyd?" He asked, a low murmur in my ear.

"There's too many options," I replied, smiling at his use of my new name.

"I have an idea," PJ said, withdrawing his arms from around me and stepping away. I turned to follow his movements, not at all happy that the warmth of his body was gone. I watched as PJ plucked a dart off the board hung on the wall. I tilted my head curiously, wondering what he was doing.

He padded back over to me, picking up my hand and placing the dart in my palm. He then moved to stand behind me and turned me so I was facing the map on the wall once more.

"Close your eyes," he whispered in my ear, kissing me tenderly just behind the lobe. I felt a shiver roll down my spine and I closed my eyes obediently.

"Okay," I whispered haltingly, swallowing thickly.

"Now throw the dart," he said, wrapping his arms around my waist.

Keep my eyes closed, I lifted my hand and skillfully tossed the dart toward the map. The pointed end embedded itself into the wall with a dull thud.

I opened my eyes, finding where the dart had landed and smiled softly.

I spun on my feet, turning to face PJ, placing my arms around his neck as his arms folded across my back, melding my lips to his, feeling my heart swell with happiness. I was at home in PJ's arms, I was at peace with where I was at in my life, and I knew there were more happy years to come.

_**The End **_


End file.
